Andi drew in a slow, metered breath through her nose, releasing it between tight lips. It was the only thing that kept her from snapping. Black pain hovered on the edge of her peripheral, jabbing at the inside of her skull and twisting her stomach. A three-day migraine was a personal record, despite the ebb and flow of the pain. Only David's massage trick had allowed her to get any sleep, if a couple hours a night counted for anything.
"I know," she managed to say, this time actually tamping down the bite in her voice. "The logical part of my mind knows you're right. I know any judge worth his station will see through Lawrence's lies and will know what is best for Jacob. And I keep telling myself that when I leave today it will be with Jake. But, there's this screaming..." Her throat tightened and her voice wobbled. Andi swallowed, pressing her lips together. "There's this small part of me that is terrified."
Theresa laid her hand on Andi's arm, squeezing for a brief moment, but it did nothing to fill the black hole sitting in the center of her chest.
The echoing sound of heavy footsteps drew her attention down the courthouse hallway. Her stomach clenched just at the sight of Lawrence Bonherre. The judge had waved the restraining order for the purpose of the hearing, with the understanding that at no time would Andi and Lawrence be left alone. It was a small solace. Lawrence's stride showed no lack of confidence, which Andi expected. He knew how to exude confidence, no matter the situation. A man walked beside him, matching his sure stride, with dark hair he wore slicked back from his high forehead. He was older than Lawrence by at least fifteen years, and his entire demeanor screamed 'smarmy'.
Lawrence looked straight at her, arching one eyebrow with a satisfied smirk. He said something to his lawyer and they both chuckled before walking right past Andi and Theresa to the open courtroom door.
"Even if I knew nothing about your ex husband, I'd hate him based purely on that cocky smirk."
Andi snorted a laugh. "Then talking to him should be a real joy for you."
Theresa sighed. "Okay, you ready for this?"
The pain in her head surged and she winced. She nodded, refusing to give in to the nausea because to give in would be to give Lawrence power over her, whether he knew it or not. They followed Lawrence and his attorney into the courtroom and took their seats. Andi caught Lawrence watching her in her peripheral vision that same arrogant grin on his face. He still believed that he would either win, or she would give in to his demands. One of the reasons Lawrence was such a sought-after lawyer in Chicago was that he went into every case fully expecting victory. With a 97% success rate, his clients believed he created his own destiny and they were willing to pay for it.
Minutes later, the doors closed to the courtroom and Judge Ronald McKay entered. After the usual statement of record, Judge McKay instructed them to sit. He appeared to be middle age, with hair that had probably once been thick, curly and red but now covered his skull like a wreath and was more gray than red. But, he had a spark in his eyes that actually eased the tension in Andi's chest a small degree the moment he looked in her direction. He folded his hands and scanned the room, focusing in turn on each attorney.
"So we're clear, this is a non-arbitration hearing regarding the custody of Jacob Nathaniel Bonherre, a minor of the age of eleven years. So there is no confusion for your clients, what that means is that the parties involved were unable to come to an agreement prior to coming to my courtroom, so whatever decision I reach at the end of this hearing will be final." He looked over the papers in front of him. "So, by what I can tell, Mom doesn't want Dad to have free visitations anymore due to your recent..." He cleared his throat. "Anger management issues."
He glanced at Andi and Theresa over the edge of his glasses, and Theresa nodded. "Yes, Your Honor. In a nutshell."
Judge McKay then looked at Lawrence and his lawyer, Attorney Kane. "And you don't want Mom to have custody at all due to..." He read through the bottom of his glasses. "Selfish and unsatisfactory personal choices which have exposed Jacob Bonherre to unsavory elements that may negatively influence his future behavior."
"Yes, Your Honor," Kane began. "Ms. Parker has surrounded herself with individuals who we will prove--"
"Save it for when I ask for it, Council," Judge McKay ordered, raising his hand. "You'll get your chance. Everyone will get their chance."
Andi only registered half of what Judge McKay said from that point, with only the basics making it through the pounding in her head. He expected decorum, he expected respect, he expected them both to act in the best interest of their son, and he reiterated that he intended to have their situation resolved by the end of the day.
By the end of the day...
Because Theresa had filed the first petition, Judge McKay allowed her to begin. She spoke for forty minutes, respectfully bringing the restraining order and the statements by Maggie, David, Tony and Horatio from the incident at the house. Theresa provided copies of the medical reports from Andi's ER visit, which also documented the old bruising on her arms from Lawrence's first 'assault'. By the time she was done, she'd shown evidence of the lack of parental participation by Lawrence in the six years since they divorced.
Then attorney Bruce Kane spent over two hours bashing Andi in every conceivable way -- and some inconceivable ways, as well. Nothing was safe. He made her sound like a peddler of pornography and a woman of loose morals. He went after Maggie, David... she wondered if at one point her mailman might come under fire. When Judge McKay demanded proof of immorality, Kane stated it was a matter of public record and opinion.
Then he brought up her failed marriage, and just as Lawrence had done the night she left, Kane pinned the blame on her. How could a woman incapable of showing love and affection to her own husband be expected to provide the proper care and guidance to her son? She was painted as a shrew and a gold digger. The entire speech made her sick.
When finished, both he and Lawrence looked across the room at them with the same self-righteous smirks they'd walked into the room with. Andi swallowed and refused to give either of them the satisfaction of looking fazed. Judge McKay picked up the papers on his desk, tapped their edge against the wood, and sighed.
"Where is the minor, Jacob Bonherre?"
Andi sucked in a sharp breath and Theresa reached for her hand beneath the table, curling her fingers over Andi's wrist. "Ms. Parker's son is here at the courthouse per your instructions, Your Honor. He is waiting in a conference room with a family friend."
Lawrence snorted.
Judge McKay scratched his fingernail along the edge of his thinning hair at his temple, reading over his notes. "In the interest of thoroughness, I want to speak to the boy."
Andi couldn't take a breath. Her chest seized up around her lungs, but she couldn't force anything out of her mouth.
"He's old enough to have an opinion in all this. He's also old enough to give it to me without his parents present." He looked to Andi. "Ms. Parker, I'd like you to go with a court representative and explain to your son that he'll be speaking to me. You are not to give him any instructions on how to answer, simply inform him what is happening. And why, if you choose, but I would assume he is aware of why we are here today."
Andi nodded. "Yes, Your Honor."
"The court representative will then bring Jacob to my chambers so he and I can have a talk. Until then, Plaintiff and Defendant are dismissed." He slammed down his gavel and rose, and they all followed suit.
And clenched her hands together, fighting the violent tremble that jerked up her spine. This was the very thing she hadn't wanted... for Jake to be dragged into this mess. The only saving grace was that he didn't have to do it in an open courtroom. He didn't have to look at his father -- or her -- while he answered the judge's questions.
A woman dressed in a navy blue suit, her blonde hair curled into a twist along her skull, approached Andi and Theresa from the back of the courtroom. "If you'll come with me, Ms. Parker."
Andi followed the woman to the conference room, and whe
n they opened the door, Jake jumped up from the floor where he sat playing his video game. "Mom!"
She grunted and laughed, taking a step back when he slammed into her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her so tight she couldn't breath. "Hey, honey."
"Can we go home now?"
Andi caught Maggie's eye, and gave a tiny shake of her head. Maggie released a long breath and closed her eyes, her head dropping forward in an expression of frustration that Andi only allowed herself to feel and not express. Andi sat down in one of the leather chairs around the conference room table, now looking up at her son.
"No, honey, I'm sorry. We're not done here yet. Actually, I came to tell you Judge McKay needs to talk to you... just like he's been talking to your father and I."
Jake pulled a face and scuffed his sneaker against the carpet. "I thought I didn't have to."
"I hoped you didn't have to, but Judge McKay said he wants to know what you think."
"If I tell him I don't want to live with Dad, can we go home then?"
Andi caught the slight shake of the court representative's head. She had to choose her words carefully. "You just need to answer his questions, honey. Be completely honest, okay?"
Jake threw his arms around her neck, leaning over to hug her. She swore he had to have grown two inches in the last six months, and soon he'd be taller than her. Andi blinked back tears and silently prayed she'd be there to watch him grow. The court representative touched his shoulder, and after a nod from Andi that it was okay, he followed the woman from the room. As soon as he was gone, Andi covered her face and curled forward, sucking in sharp breaths to keep the panic at bay.
She heard the sound of a chair rolling across the floor to her, and the creak of leather as Maggie sat. Then her friend took her hand and pulled it away from her face, making Andi look her in the eyes.
"What is going on?" Maggie asked, every word stressed.
"He heard the statements, looked at the paperwork..." Andi shrugged and swallowed. If she lost it now, she wouldn't get her control back in time to return to the courtroom. "Then he said he wanted to talk to Jake."
"This is a good thing," Theresa said from the doorway.
"How is this a good thing?" Andi snapped. "How is throwing an eleven year old boy into the war between his parents a good thing?"
"Because he's an eleven year old boy with an opinion. Do you have any doubt that he'll tell the judge he wants to be with you. Do you think he'll walk in there and tell McKay that he wants to live with his father?"
"No."
"Do you believe he'll say anything negative against Maggie? Or David?"
"No, of course not."
Theresa nodded. "This is a good thing. Come on. I'll buy you a coffee in the commissary. It's going to be awhile."
Maggie squeezed her hand and pulled her to her feet. She hadn't held her best friend's hand since she was eight and her best friend was Peggy Ann Jackson in second grade, but today she needed to hold her best friend's hand. The three women made their way to the small lunch counter off the courthouse lobby, but Andi couldn't imagine eating anything. She stayed with an iced tea and conceded to a fruit bowl when Maggie insisted.
After choking down some of the cantaloupe, she excused herself for the ladies room. As she rounded the corner away from the lobby, she stopped short to keep from running straight into Lawrence's chest. His hand curled around her elbows and Andi cringed back, her stomach twisting at just the basic contact.
"Typical Andrea. Not watching where you're going."
She crossed the hall, glancing both ways to see if anyone was within sight. "You're breaking the restraining order, Lawrence."
"We aren't alone," he said in his condescending tone that screamed 'once again, I must explain'. "My lawyer will be here any moment, and your lawyer isn't more than fifty feet away."
Andi pressed her lips together and shifted to move past him, but he sidestepped and blocked her way. He held up his hand, but she stepped back before he dared touch her again.
"You look stressed, Andrea. Is this hearing too much for you?"
"I'm fine," she hissed. "Let me pass."
Lawrence leaned in, the cloying smell of his aftershave burning her nose. "This could all be over right now, Andrea. Do what I demand and I'll withdraw my petition."
She clenched her jaw until it hurt and stared him in the eye. "Really, Lawrence? Is that all I have to do? Just..."
"Just call Golden Boy and call it off."
She saw the gleam in his eye... he actually thought she meant it. Sarchasm – The giant gulf between the speaker of sarcasm, and the dimwit that doesn't get it. Holding his arrogant gaze, Andi slid her hand into her purse and took out her cell phone.
"You'll let me keep him if I leave David." She made it a statement, not a question.
"Get rid of your lover, and you can keep your son."
"I'll see him, you know. When filming begins..."
"You know what I mean, Andrea. Don't be thick. You keep him out of your bed. Out of your home. Out of your son's life."
Your son. She almost slapped him.
She turned on the phone, the beep drawing Lawrence's attention. He smirked, one corner of his mouth tipping upward. "I knew you didn't have the stomach to carry this all the way through. You won't risk losing that boy. Do it, Andrea. Call him."
Andi only looked away from him long enough to find David's number in her mailbox and hit dial. She stared up at Lawrence as the call went through. David picked up on the second ring.
"Hey, sweetheart." He sounded slightly out of breath.
As soon as she heard his voice, a smooth heat spread out from Andi's chest. "Hi, David." She fought to keep her voice steady.
"What's happened? Is it over?"
"No." She took a deep breath, blinking as she tried to keep Lawrence's egotistical face in focus. "We're on a break. Judge McKay is talking to Jake right now."
"Oh, Andi, I'm sorry. You didn't want that..."
"No, but I'm doing what has to be done."
Lawrence's smirk widened. It made her sick.
"Andi, are you okay? What's going on, sweetheart?"
She swallowed and licked her lips. If ever she needed to tap into her gift of writing dialogue, it was right now. "I need to tell you something, David."
The moment of silence on the other end nearly broke her. She wanted to drive a point home with Lawrence, but she wouldn't do it at David's expense.
"Andi..." The heaviness of his voice hurt.
"I love you." Lawrence's smirk shifted to a scowl. "I haven't said that enough in the last few days, and I wanted to make sure you knew that."
His relieved sigh carried through the phone. "Oh, sweetheart, I know. I love you, too."
Lawrence's scowl twisted into an angry grimace and he turned away, storming to the other side of the hall. "I have to go," she said more softly. "David... I do love you."
"I'll see you when it's over. Both of you."
Andi blinked against the sudden tears, swallowing hard before she spoke. "I'll see you soon."
She slapped it shut, putting an audible 'period' on the scene. Or... maybe an exclamation point.
Bruce Kane came out of the men's room just as Theresa's voice calling Andi's name carried across the lobby. She took a backward step and looked to where she'd left Theresa and Maggie. Both were nearly across the lobby, and Theresa waved to her.
"Judge McKay called everyone back."
The few bites of melon in her stomach suddenly turned into balls of acid. Summoning up her last well of strength, she marched across the marble and met the other two women to head toward her fate.
*****
David was half way up the stairs from his bedroom when the finger-tapping, fiddle music of Wrapped Up In You carried from the front hall. He sprinted up the stairs, and managed to snatch his cell phone off his desk before the third ring. Taking a deep, sharp breath he answered.
"Hey, sweetheart."
"Hi, David."
He immediately picked up on the tight strain in her voice and sank into the desk chair, his gut twisting.
"What's happened? Is it over?"
"No." She sighed softly. "We're on a break. Judge McKay is talking to Jake right now."
David winced and shook his head. "Oh, Andi, I'm sorry. You didn't want that..."
"No, but I'm doing what has to be done."
"Andi, are you okay? What's going on, sweetheart?"
The silence lasted half a heartbeat longer than he could stand before she finally answered, and the thick heaviness in the words hit him square in the chest. "I need to tell you something, David."
"Andi..."
"I love you." David closed his eyes, finally able to release the breath caught in his lungs. "I haven't said that enough in the last few days, and I wanted to make sure you knew that."
He smiled because he couldn't help it, and rubbed his fingers across his forehead. "Oh, sweetheart, I know. I love you, too."
"I have to go," she said more softly. "David... I do love you."
"I'll see you when it's over." He closed his eyes, hoping she heard in his voice his own conviction. He had to believe, because if he didn't, he'd go mad. "Both of you."
"I'll see you soon."
The line went silent and David set the phone on the desk with a careful discipline, because if he did anything more he knew he'd probably throw it across the room. David's chest hurt, every breath was a chore to expand his lungs against the steel fist around his ribs. He was beyond exhausted, having barely slept in three days, but he knew he wouldn't rest until this was over. Even then, it would all depend on the outcome.
Was it selfish of him to want Andi in his arms tonight?
It had nearly killed him to leave her this morning, and the need to hold her smothered him. Pressuring her to stay with him was the last thing he wanted, but the Creator help him, he needed her. Once upon a time, needing someone like he needed Andi would have scared the daylights out of him. Now, the idea of not having her scared him more.
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