by Elle James
RJ nodded. “I guess we might figure that out over this weekend.”
JoJo pulled up her sleeves, tied an apron on over her clothes and went to work scrubbing the pans in the sink.
“Emily called and asked how she could help this weekend,” RJ said.
JoJo’s brow furrowed
“I’m looking forward to seeing her,” RJ smiled. “It’s been a while since she’s been out to the ranch. You know she lived here while you were on active duty, right?”
JoJo nodded. “Gunny had said something to that effect.”
“Are you two doing all right together?” RJ asked. “Not that your interaction with Emily is any of my business.”
JoJo nodded. “We are getting along fine.”
“I don’t know what kind of therapist she is, but she’s a good friend. She really cares about people, and she’s a good listener.” RJ chuckled. “I guess that’s a good thing since she’s in the business she’s in.”
JoJo nodded.
“The offer is still open.” RJ glanced over at JoJo. “Anytime you need a friend to talk to, I’m here for you.”
JoJo glanced up from the pan she was scrubbing and smiled. “I know that, and I value your friendship.”
“I know deep down you’re hurting about something,” RJ rushed on. “I wish I could help you with it.”
JoJo tensed. “I know that too. And you know I’d do anything for you and Gunny. You’re mi familia.”
RJ grinned. “I’d give you a big hug right now, but I’m up to my elbows in grease.”
JoJo laughed. “Well, thank you. I’d appreciate you not hugging me right now. These clothes have to last the rest of the evening.”
“Fine, I’ll save it for later,” RJ said. “I have a room set aside for you to stay in tonight. And when Emily gets here, I’ve got a place I can put her up as well. She’s going to stay the weekend. If Stover’s campaign team is all male, it might get man-heavy. Might be nice to have a few other women around.”
“Agreed,” JoJo rinsed the pan she’d scrubbed, dried it and put it away. She started on the next one.
RJ sprayed the grill with water and scrubbed some more. “Look, JoJo, I know something happened to you on your last deployment. Something that put you in the hospital. It really would help if I knew what it was so that I can help you to recover from it. I mean, were you injured? Were you taken captive? I just wish I knew,” RJ said. “And I wish you felt comfortable enough to tell me. I don’t feel much like a friend if I can’t help you.”
JoJo sighed. What was it Max had said? He’d rappelled and climbed mountains to face his fear of heights. He’d confronted those fears. Maybe it was time that JoJo confronted hers. One of those fears being acceptance. Would people accept her, knowing that she’d been raped? RJ was her dearest and closest friend. If she couldn’t accept her, damaged as she was, who could?
JoJo turned to RJ. “I’ll tell you, but I’d appreciate if you didn’t tell Gunny right now.”
“Let me get ready.” RJ finished scrubbing, rinsed and dried the grill. Then she washed her hands.
JoJo rinsed the suds off her hands, dried them on a towel and then she stood in front of RJ, trying to find the words to tell her friend what had happened to her.
“First of all,” she said, “I’m not exactly sure what happened to me. All I know is what the medic told the nurses and what the nurses told me. This is what I know.” She drew in a deep breath and launched into her nightmare. “I was walking out of a shower unit on our base, and the next thing I know I woke up with my face covered in dirt. The medic said that somebody had beaten me, raped me and buried me alive.”
Chapter 8
RJ’s face blanched white. “Dear, sweet Jesus,” she said, and she pulled JoJo into her arms. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Like Max feared heights, JoJo had feared rejection. “Though I don’t remember the incident, it made me feel dirty,” JoJo said, “less human.”
RJ hugged her tighter, and then set her at arm’s length. “Did they catch the guy who did it?”
JoJo shook her head. “And that’s the problem, I can’t get closure, knowing he’s still out there and capable of doing this to some other female.”
“Or coming back to finish you off?” RJ shook her head. “Oh, JoJo.”
JoJo’s fists tightened. “That thought has occurred to me. He expected me to die.”
“And you didn’t,” RJ said.
“I never went back to my unit. They took me straight from where they found me to a medical staging unit at an airbase and shipped me out to Ramstein. The only thing I remembered was that my name was JoJo. I didn’t recall anything else until I had been in the hospital for a couple of days.”
“Oh, JoJo,” RJ said, “I wish I had known. I’d have flown to Europe to be with you.”
“It took several weeks for most of my memories to come back, but there is one memory that hasn’t come back at all, and from what I understand may never come back.”
RJ shook her head. “Memories of the incident?”
JoJo nodded. “They say it’s the mind and body’s way of protecting me. But it doesn’t keep me from having nightmares. Until the guy’s caught, there will be no closure.”
“Why did you take an apartment in town?” RJ asked.
“The nightmares,” she said, her tone flat, emotionless. “Sometimes, I wake up screaming.”
Tears filled RJ’s eyes. “You’re staying here,” she said. “You’re not going back to that apartment. You’re staying here with your family. Gunny and I will take care of you.”
JoJo shook her head. “I don’t want that. I need to know that I can live on my own. That I can take care of myself.”
“That’s why you took the Krav Maga lessons?”
JoJo nodded. “Absolutely. I was afraid to go anywhere, to even step outside of my apartment. I don’t feel safe anywhere.”
“Not even here on the ranch?” RJ asked.
“It’s the closest I feel to safe, but there are so many people who come through here, I can’t feel comfortable all the time.”
RJ muttered a curse. “It doesn’t help when a jerk like Roy is pulling you onto his lap at the Watering Hole. You and I should switch places. You can man the bar, and I’ll wait on the tables.”
“No,” JoJo said. “I don’t want your pity, and I don’t need you to treat me like fine china. I need to relearn how to live in this world, how to trust that I can take care of myself.”
“Did your unit launch an investigation?” RJ asked.
“Once I figured out who I was and what unit I belonged to, they did. They launched an investigation, and it’s come up with nothing so far.”
RJ crossed her arms over her chest, her brow furrowing. “You have no memory at all of the man who attacked you?”
JoJo shook her head.
“Well, I’m glad that you’ve had Emily to talk to in the meantime,” RJ said. “If anyone can help you, she can. She’s got a heart of gold, and she’s really good at her job from what I hear.”
“She wants to try hypnosis,” JoJo said. Her stomach roiled at that thought. She wanted to know who’d attacked her, more than anything. And when she remembered?
“How do you feel about that?” RJ asked.
JoJo shrugged. “I don’t know. Kind of feel like it’s hocus pocus. Does it really work?”
“Does it hurt if it doesn’t work? I mean, aren’t you willing to try anything to shake those memories loose?”
“That’s kind of how I feel,” JoJo said. “So, I’m game.”
“I’m glad you told me what happened. It helps me to understand the way you reacted when I set you up on that date with Max. I’m sorry I forced you to go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance with him.”
“No worries. Actually, Max was very nice. Is very nice.”
“He seemed to be a gentleman. You took him out on the trails today, didn’t you? How’d that go?”
“Good. It was quiet. Just the two of us and
the mountains.”
“You weren’t uncomfortable being alone with him all that time?” RJ asked.
“Not at all.” Except for when he’d asked her about why she acted the way she did.
“Once again, I’m sorry I pushed you and Max together.”
“And once again, I have to say don’t worry about it. I have to confront my fears.” JoJo smiled. “And I’m doing okay.”
“I’m glad to hear that, and it makes me even madder to think about what Roy did to you and how that must have impacted you.”
JoJo touched RJ’s arm. “This is one of the reasons why I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t want you worrying about me. You have enough on your plate.”
“How can I not worry about a friend who is more like a sister to me?” RJ asked. “If the situation were reversed, you would feel the same way. And you’d want to find the bastard who’d done that to me. Just like I want to find the bastard who did what he did to you.” RJ’s eyes narrowed. “You know the Brotherhood Protectors have a computer guru up in Montana. Jake says that he’s been able to access records that…well…might not be totally legal to access, like hacking into a system. Maybe he could do some poking around and see what’s going on with the investigation.”
JoJo shook her head. “I really didn’t want anybody else to know about this other than me and the investigators who are handling it.” She gave RJ a weak smile. “I didn’t even want you to know.”
RJ hugged her. “I understand. I still think it’s horseshit, but I understand.”
JoJo chuckled. Trust RJ to give her honest opinion. “Please, don’t be mad at me for not telling you upfront.”
“I’m not, but I’m kind of mad at myself for not pushing a little harder to find out sooner. I could’ve saved you some heartache of going to the Sadie Hawkins Day dance with Max. And you could’ve been mixing drinks behind the bar, instead of waiting on tables.”
“I don’t want you to treat me differently just because of what happened.”
“Trust me, I won’t love you any less. In fact, I’ll probably love you even more. You’re the sister I never had. I love you, JoJo. I’m so very glad you lived to come back to Colorado. I’ve missed you so much.”
JoJo clapped her hands together. “Okay, enough talk about me. Let’s get this place cleaned up. We’ve got other things to do.”
“Yes, ma’am,” RJ said and popped a salute. “But you are staying here tonight, aren’t you?”
JoJo frowned. “You know, I don’t think it’s going to get as busy as all that tonight, so I might go on back to my apartment and bring some clothes out with me tomorrow.”
“I really think you need to consider staying here tonight. I’ll make hot cocoa. We can sit up like we did when we were teenagers and talk about our favorite musical bands and boys.”
Oh, to be that teenager again. JoJo wished she could go back and relive it. Maybe she could avoid what had happened to her.
No. She was who she was now based on all her experience in the Army. Good and bad. There was no going back. The only path available was to move forward. “Hold that thought for tomorrow night. Emily will be here too, and we can include her.”
RJ grinned. “I’m glad you feel that way. We think a lot of Emily. She, too, is like family to us.”
When they’d finished cleaning the kitchen they closed up and walked back to the lodge together.
“You met Stover and his aide as well,” JoJo said. “What did you think about them?”
RJ shrugged. “I don’t know. He seemed like the typical politician. All smiles and handshakes. He did serve in the military, but he seemed to have made the transition to politician rather quickly.” RJ glanced down at her hand. “I didn’t like the way he shook my hand.”
JoJo laughed. “And how was that?”
“Can’t put my finger on it. I just didn’t like the way he shook my hand.” She looked across at JoJo. “You felt it, too?”
JoJo nodded.
RJ’s lips twisted into a wry grin. “We’ll just have to leave the hand shaking to the rest of his constituents and make it through the weekend.”
JoJo’s thoughts exactly.
“We have a couple of hours before we have to man the bar again this evening. What are your plans?” RJ asked.
“I thought I’d tinker in the barn and see if I can get that old rototiller to work.”
RJ laughed. “You mean there’s a machine out there you haven’t completely overhauled and got running? No, wait. Is it that rototiller that’s like fifty thousand years old?”
JoJo smiled. “Yeah, some of the older models are easier to work on.”
“Well, don’t be a stranger. And if you want anything, let me know. I can bring some lemonade or iced tea out to you.”
“I’m good for now but thank you.” She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts.
RJ stopped before they were to split off to the lodge and barn. She faced JoJo. “Thank you for letting me in. At least, now, I know what I’m up against, and that’s whatever you’re up against.”
“RJ, this is my battle. I have to work through it on my own.”
“Sweetie, you’re my family. You don’t have to do anything alone. I’m here for you.” She hugged JoJo and swiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Say the word, and I’ll have Jake contact his guys up in Montana and see if they can do some computer hacking until they find out what’s going on with the investigation.”
“I’ll think about it,” JoJo said.
After one last hug, RJ left her and entered the lodge.
JoJo turned and walked down to the barn.
The barn was blessedly empty. In the morning, she’d help RJ bring some of the horses in, help brush them and clean their hooves, so they’d be ready for guests to ride if they should choose. For now, it was just JoJo and the few pieces of machinery that were kept in the barn.
She carried the tool bag over to the old rototiller and systematically disassembled the engine, laying the parts out neatly on a horse blanket beside her. She had just located the faulty part when she heard footsteps behind her. She glanced over her shoulders, half expecting to see Max standing there. Instead, she found Lawrence Stover.
JoJo leapt to her feet and stood with her back to the wall. “Can I help you find something, sir?” she asked, hating that her voice shook. She couldn’t be afraid of every man she came into contact with.
“No, thank you. I don’t need anything. I just thought I’d poke around and see what was available out here for when my campaign team arrives.”
“Well, I’ll just leave you to it then,” JoJo said. She started to walk around him.
He stuck out his hand and grabbed her arm.
JoJo jerked free.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. “I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.”
“If you have questions about the running of the lodge and the ranch, you need to take those to Gunny and RJ. I’m just the hired help.”
“My questions aren’t about the ranch. I was curious about your service in the military. Seems like we have that in common. So, you worked in the motor pool?” he asked.
She nodded and backed away a few steps rubbing her arm where he’d touched her. “Yes, sir.”
“No need for the formality of yes sir. We’re not on active duty anymore.” He smiled. “You can call me Lawrence. How many years were you in?”
“Ten and some change.”
“And you got out?” His eyebrows rose. “You were halfway to retirement. Why did you get out?”
She lifted her chin. “I had my reasons.”
“Did you deploy?”
She nodded. “Several times. Seems like they need vehicles to work when they’re out in the desert.”
“That’s true. I’m surprised they didn’t offer you a big bonus to stay on. It takes a lot to get a mechanic trained up.”
They had. Because of her injuries, they’d given her the choice to go back to her uni
t or to get out before her enlistment date was up. She hadn’t wanted to go back to her unit. Not when her attacker hadn’t been caught, and it hadn’t looked like it would happen anytime soon. She’d chosen to get out and go home.
“When was your last deployment?” he asked.
“Right before I got out of the military.” JoJo rubbed her arm. “Why are you asking so many questions?”
“No reason, other than I like to understand the people I’ll hopefully represent. Colorado Springs is filled with military and has quite a strong population of veterans as well. I like to understand them and know what their concerns are. So, Ms. Ramirez, what are your concerns,” he asked, “as a veteran?”
She shrugged. “I’d like to see the veterans get the medical care they need, for both their physical and mental health.”
He nodded. “That’s part of my platform. What else?”
Her eyes narrowed. “I’d like to see them do more to curb and eliminate sexual assault and harassment within the active-duty forces. It’s out of control.”
The politician’s eyes narrowed. “You say that like you’ve experienced it?”
“I don’t know too many females who haven’t.” She lifted her chin. “Now, if you’re finished questioning me, I have work to do.” Once again, she tried to walk around him.
He put his hand out to stop her. Rage shot through her system, and she was one second away from throwing the man to the ground when she heard someone call out.
“Hey, JoJo, are you in there?”
Stover dropped his hand from her arm.
JoJo looked over his shoulder to see Max standing in the doorway. “I’m over here,” she said.
“Gunny sent me to tell you that he’s ready to open the bar. He could use your help since RJ’s busy.”
“Coming,” JoJo said. “Perhaps you can show Mr. Stover around. He seems to want to get to know the place.” This time when she stepped around him, he did not put his hand out to stop her.
JoJo hurried out of the barn, throwing a grateful glance toward Max as she left. She’d have to remember to thank him later. Had he not come in when he did, she would’ve ruined Gunny’s and RJ’s chances with the politician and any future business he might generate.