by Elle James
Several seconds passed before he asked, “Are you sure?”
She nodded, her cheek rubbing against his chest as she did. Then she tilted her head up to look into his eyes as he looked down at her, and she spoke a little louder. “Go slowly.”
Max shifted to where he was lying on his side facing her. He cupped her cheek in his hand and leaned forward to press his lips to hers. His hands slipped from her shoulder down her arm and rested on the swell of her hip. “If you feel at all uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll stop.”
JoJo nodded, staring straight into his eyes. She didn’t tell him that she had already felt uncomfortable, but it was a different kind of uncomfortable. One that was in anticipation of what titillating things he might do to her.
Still lying on his side, he inched his way downward on the bed, trailing kisses across her collarbone and down to claim the tip of one nipple beneath the fabric of her pajama top.
Needing to feel his lips on her skin, JoJo pulled the hem of her top up, exposing her breasts. He flicked a nipple before capturing it between his teeth and rolling it gently.
JoJo’s back arched, urging him to take more.
He sucked the nipple into his mouth and pulled hard.
JoJo’s breath caught and held as he flicked and licked the nipple into a tight little bud. JoJo’s breathing grew ragged, and her body tensed. Not because she was afraid, but because she wanted more.
He abandoned that breast and moved to the other. He treated that breast to the same licking, nipping, and tickling.
JoJo reached for his head and wove her fingers into his hair, holding him closer. If she wanted, she could’ve pushed him away, but she didn’t. How could she, when what he was doing to her made her entire body light on fire and crave more from him?
He smoothed his hand down to her waist and back up over her hip, cupping her buttocks as his mouth moved lower, skimming across her ribs inch by inch as he traveled down her body to the juncture of her thighs.
JoJo rolled onto her back, drawing in shallow, rapid breaths. The closer he got to her core, the more tense she grew. Her fingers in his hair tightened, and he slowed to a stop.
He looked up. “Do you want me to stop here?”
“Yes… No.”
He chuckled, his breath warm against her belly. “I don’t have to go any farther.”
“But I want…” She bit down hard on her bottom lip. She wanted him but she was afraid. “Go slower,” she said.
“I can do that.” He pressed a kiss between her belly button and the tuft of hair over her sex.
JoJo ran her tongue across her suddenly dry lips.
His mouth moved just slightly lower, and he pressed a kiss to her. He continued kissing her until he reached the mound of hair. He laid his hand lightly over it. “Tell me when to stop, and I will.”
“Don’t…stop.”
With his thumbs, he parted her folds and leaned in to flick her there with his tongue. She drew in a sharp breath and held it until he flicked again. The air left her lungs in a whoosh. He licked her again, and a moan rose up her throat and escaped her lips.
What he was doing was magic. She still couldn’t remember the actual rape, but it couldn’t have been anything like this. And he hadn’t touched her there. He’d promised not to penetrate her, and she believed he’d keep to his promise. Knowing in her heart that this was as far as he would go, she relaxed as much as she could and let her body rejoice in what he was doing. Slowly and steadily, he touched her there, his tongue sending wicked electrical currents reverberating throughout her body. He increased the speed and swirled his tongue.
JoJo raised her hips off the mattress wanting somehow to get closer to him. What had started as a want had built to a need. As he flicked and swirled, her body tensed. The sensations building and growing until that one last flick that sent her over the edge.
She cried out his name. “Max.” Her hands convulsed in his hair. Her body pulsed with her release. She clung to those sensations for as long as they lasted, reveling in the feeling of pure satisfaction. When the last tingle subsided, she fell back against the bed.
He chuckled and climbed up her body to lean over her, the length of his cock resting against her inner thigh. When he leaned down to kiss her, his chest pressed against hers.
JoJo wasn’t sure if it was the weight of him or the pressure against her lungs, but suddenly she felt trapped and she pushed against his chest.
He immediately backed off and dropped down beside her. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She shook her head, drawing in deep breaths. “No, no that’s okay,” she said. “I just couldn’t breathe.” She rolled over onto her side and faced him, laying her hand on his chest. “Do you mind if I touch you?”
He smiled. “Are you kidding me? Of course not.”
She ran her fingers over his chest stopping at a scar. “How did you get this?”
“Shrapnel wound.”
She leaned forward and pressed her lips to it. Then, with her fingers, she continued her perusal to a scar lower down on his torso. “And this one?”
He smiled. “Got that one when I ran into a barbed wire fence on my bicycle when I was nine years old.” He shrugged. “I didn’t want to tell my mother about it because I was somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. When she found out, she was mad, but not because I’d been there, but because I’d lied to her. Either way, I got grounded.”
She kissed that scar too and moved her fingers even lower. She was now down below his belly button at the next scar. “And this?”
It was a long scar, four inches or more.
“That one was from my fall.” It was a brighter pink than the other scars, as if it were a newer one.
She scooted down the bed and pressed her lips to that one. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“Not as sorry as I was while I was falling two hundred and fifty feet to the ground.”
“That had to have been terrifying.”
His lips twisted. “The only thought I remember as I fell was that I knew it was going to hurt. They were quick to get a rescue team out there and get me to a trauma center. If they hadn’t reacted so quickly, I probably would’ve been dead.”
“I, for one, am glad you lived.”
He cupped her cheek. “Me, too. Although, there was a time that I wasn’t so glad.”
She nodded. “I know how you feel.” Her hand slipped lower to the elastic of his boxer shorts.
“You don’t have to do this,” he said.
“I know. Which makes me want to even more.” She slid her hand inside his shorts and cupped him, rolling his balls between her fingers. Then she wrapped her hand around him and slid to the tip of his cock and back down.
She wanted him. JoJo swallowed hard. She wanted him inside her, but it had to be on her terms. She grabbed the waistband of his shorts and dragged them over his hips.
He lifted his bottom off the mattress, allowing her to take them all the way down to his ankles. His cock jetted out, hard, long and thick.
The combination of excitement and fear swelled in her chest. Once he lay naked in the bed, she straddled his hips. “I don’t suppose you have protection?”
He shook his head. “Not on me. But I do have it in my room.”
She rolled over onto the bed.
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” he asked before moving.
She nodded.
Max was off the bed in a flash, racing through the connecting door and back in less than thirty seconds.
He laughed and held up the packet. Then he dropped onto the bed beside her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
She pushed him onto his back, took the packet from his fingers, ripped it open and rolled it down over his cock. JoJo straddled him, and then lowered herself. She didn’t want too much time to think. She wanted to act before she lost her nerve.
She dropped down until the tip of his cock nudged her entrance. Her breath hitched in her
throat, and her hands grew clammy. She took a deep breath and lowered herself onto him, taking him into herself slowly, her channel adjusting to his girth.
She tried not to think about what had happened to her. She should be thankful that part of her memory had been erased. This time, she was in control. She made the decisions. Nothing was forced on her. As he filled her to full, she let out a low moan. It felt good…really good. She rocked up on her knees, letting him slide back out until his tip hovered at her entrance. She sank back down and settled into a smooth rhythm. Raising and lowering.
He wrapped his hands around her buttocks, holding her without adding pressure. He let her ride him.
JoJo could feel his body tense beneath her. His grip tightened on her ass. He gently guided her pace, thrusting deep and steadily. His grip tightened, and he thrust one more time, holding her down on top of him. She felt that familiar tingling at her center spreading outward as she climaxed again with his cock throbbing inside her. For a long moment, she rested her hands on his chest, letting the sensations wash over her. Then she collapsed on top of him.
The sun streamed through the window, creating a glow around them.
Max rolled her onto her side and pulled her close. She nestled her head in the crook of his arm. She rested her hand on his chest and draped one of her calves over his leg.
“Do you still want to know what happened to me?” she asked.
His hand on her arm stopped moving. “Yes, I do.”
She didn’t look up into his eyes. She studied her hand on his chest. “I don’t know exactly what happened,” she said, “because my memories of the incident have been blocked in my brain. Some kind of situational amnesia, but from what the EMT and the doctors told me when I came to, I’d been raped, beaten, and buried alive.”
He tensed.
JoJo looked up at him. “I hope you’re not mad at me.”
“Sweet Jesus, JoJo!” he exclaimed. “You should’ve told me before—”
“Before we had sex?”
He shook his head. “Before we made love.”
“Why?” she asked. “Because you wouldn’t have?”
He shook his head again. “I still would have, but I would’ve been even more gentle.”
She smiled up at him. “I’m safe,” she said. “No STD’s. I had them test me.”
He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on her head. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. Did they catch the bastard who did it?”
She shook her head. “No. He’s still out there, possibly raping other women. I wouldn’t be alive today if it hadn’t been for a dog digging me out and some Afghan women finding me.”
“I can’t even comprehend how somebody could do that to a person?” Max said. “It really makes you lose faith in the human race.”
JoJo nodded. “But I have to tell myself there aren’t that many people who would do such a thing. And then I think about the women who found me and sought help. And then the medic who helped me into the helicopter. The pilots who flew me to the air staging unit, and then the medical staff who were with me all the way to Ramstein. There are far more good people in this world than bad. But since he’s still out there, I can’t feel safe. And the thought of him doing something similar to another woman just eats at me. I wish I could pull the memory out of my brain so that I could identify him and get him locked up for life.” She looked away from his gaze. “I thought what he did had ruined me for life, that having sex with anybody would be too traumatic.”
“You’re still you,” Max said tucking a stray hair back behind her ear. “You’re worthy of love. Don’t let one man’s crime define you.”
“I was so afraid that people would look at me differently. That they’d treat me as if I’d brought it on myself.” She swallowed hard. “That I deserved to be raped.”
Max cursed. “No woman deserves to be raped or beaten or buried alive. No woman or man deserves such a fate. Any person who would think that you brought it on yourself, doesn’t deserve your time of day.”
“I should’ve told you before we made love,” she said. “You should’ve understood what you were getting into. But I was kind of following your advice.”
He chuckled. “And what advice was that?”
“I feared that I’d never be able to enjoy sex again.” She met his gaze. “I feared that I’d be afraid of a man’s touch. So, I followed your advice and confronted my fears.”
Max smoothed a thumb across her cheek. “And you came out stronger for it.”
She nodded.
“And are you still afraid of making love?” he asked.
“Yes and no.”
He smiled. “As long as you’re on top you’re okay, right?”
She nodded. “Does that bother you?”
“Far from it. You’re doing all the work, and you’re in control, which I’m fully okay with.”
She basked in his warm gaze and acceptance, not ready to leave the security of his arms. But life went on, and they had a job to do. “I guess we should be thinking about getting up. It’s daylight outside. I’m usually in the barn by now.”
He held her close and snuggled with her. “I wonder if anybody would notice us missing if we just didn’t show up?”
JoJo laughed. “RJ would come looking for me. Besides, I wouldn’t leave her to handle all this on her own. It’s sure to be an incredibly busy day.”
He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then finally her lips. When he came up, he stared down into her eyes. “Thank you for telling me. I know it took a lot for you to open up.”
“It did.” Her lips pressed into a thin line. “I wish that regaining my memories would be as easy.”
“Maybe about the time you quit trying to recall what happened, those memories will return.”
She smiled. “That’s what Emily says.”
His brow wrinkled. “Emily is…?”
“A friend of Gunny and RJ’s. She’ll be out later to help, and I think she’s going to put me through some hypnosis to see if I can jog those memories loose.”
“Are you sure you want to relive those? Your mind may know that it’s better to keep them hidden. The trauma of reliving it could cause damage.”
She shook her head. “I’d rather know who did this and live with the consequences of regaining my memories than live in fear until the man is caught.”
“I can understand,” he said. He rolled out of the bed and held his hand out.
She placed her hand in his, and he helped her to her feet.
He waggled his brows. “Think anybody would notice if we crossed the hall naked and get into the shower together?”
JoJo laughed. “My luck, Gunny would be standing out in the hallway to see us.” She gathered her bathrobe off the floor where it had slipped off the bed. While she was at it, she lifted his boxer shorts off the floor and handed them to him. “But we could go across the hall semi-dressed.”
He slipped on his shorts, she slipped on her robe and they grabbed clothes. Max ducked into his room for a second, and then they hustled across the hall. In the bathroom, they showered together, which led to another round of lovemaking with full-on sex with the condom Max had secured from his room.
JoJo could get used to Max running his hands all over her body. It didn’t make her feel strange, awkward or anything but sexy and desirable. And the fact that he still wanted to hold her after she’d told him she’d been raped, said a lot about his character and eased her mind. Max gave her hope for the future.
Chapter 13
After making love with JoJo, Max was conflicted. On the one hand, he felt very blessed that she’d let him touch her and make love to her. On the other hand, he felt cursed he hadn’t known before. He probably wouldn’t have made love to her, afraid that it would frighten her and further damage her psyche. But JoJo seemed a little more relaxed after their romp in the bed and the shower. She even smiled several times. He patted her dry and wrapped her in the big towel, kissing her forehead
again. “Don’t be afraid to tell me how you feel,” he said. “What you went through is a lot harder than falling from a two hundred and fifty foot cliff.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “I didn’t break every bone in my body, and I’m not limping.”
Max shook his head. “You know what I mean.”
“I know I’ll never get over it. But I will get past it,” she said. “And who knows? Maybe the hypnosis will help me figure out who the guy was. Plus, I’ve asked RJ to contact Hank and see if his computer guy can find out what’s going on with the investigation. Surely, they’ve gotten some kind of lead by now.”
Once more he pulled her gently into his arms and kissed her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer, deepening the kiss. She stared up at him through narrowed eyes. “Don’t treat me as if I am going to break. I’m stronger than that.”
He touched the back of his head with a wink. “Don’t I know it.” His smile faded, “And now, I know why you flipped me and what freaked you out when Roy grabbed you.” He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “Come on, let’s get this weekend over with.”
She grinned up at him. “You feel that way, too?”
He nodded. “I’m not much into political candidates. They always seem kind of fake to me.”
“Ditto,” she said,
Still holding hands, they walked out of the bathroom to find RJ standing in the hallway.
RJ’s brows rose.
Before her friend could open her mouth, JoJo raised a finger. “Don’t say a word.”
RJ performed an about face and marched the other direction and down the stairs, calling out over her shoulder, “I want all the details later.”
JoJo groaned.
“You could always tell her that you were showing me where the towels were.”
JoJo raised her hand with his connected to hers. “And how do I explain us holding hands coming out of the bathroom? You don’t have to hold hands to get a towel out.”
“The beauty of it is, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone,” Max said.