Roxy nodded. ‘A few friends, but mostly prospective clients. I’m building up my private client list so that I can sell my works exclusively.’
When she re-crossed her legs and swivelled towards Rufus, the skirt of her electric blue dress rode up her thigh. The sight wasn’t lost on him. He took another gulp of his beer.
‘If you’d like to be on my list,’ she breathed at him, ‘I can take your contact details. Or you could have mine.’
He drained the second pint. ‘Thanks very much,’ he said, ‘but I probably don’t know enough about art to be one of your clients.’
‘But you do know what you like, don’t you?’ she purred, looking deep into his eyes.
It was like watching a car about to skid on black ice. Rufus was her friend. Rufus was her friend’s husband. Rufus wasn’t available as Roxy’s next conquest.
She couldn’t just sit there watching. What would Scarlett do if she saw a woman making a play for Mr Darcy (assuming Shannon had more than a stalking relationship with the poor man)? She’d definitely do something. Scarlett was fearless. She’d probably knock Roxy off her chair. Shannon bit back a smile imagining that.
‘I do know exactly what I like,’ Rufus told Roxy, leaving the statement hanging in the air.
Roxy smiled. ‘Well, then, you’d better give me your number.’
Shannon cleared her throat. Roxy faltered before pretending she hadn’t heard, but Rufus looked her way. ‘Scarlett’s got good taste, though,’ Shannon said to him. ‘That’s Rufus’s wife, Roxy.’
Rufus seemed to snap out of the spell. ‘She definitely has good taste,’ he finally said. ‘And as for what I like, I’d have to go with Shannon’s paintings. I love how she uses palate knives.’
Shannon let out the breath she hadn’t realised she was holding. What the hell did he think he was playing at?
Once Roxy figured out she wasn’t going to collect Rufus as an admirer, she lost interest in hanging around Shannon and Julian. When she made an excuse and left, the tension seemed to ease from them all.
But seriously, what was that?
Julian got a glint in his eye as he started to speak. Shannon never trusted that glint. ‘So, Rufus,’ he began as she braced herself. ‘My darling here says you’re too loyal to this wife of yours to sweep her off her feet, so it seems to me that the least you can do is find one of your single friends for her.’
‘Julian!’ Shannon protested. ‘I’m sorry, Rufus, please, please ignore him.’
But Rufus laughed. ‘Julian, I’ll be honest with you. I wouldn’t let any of my single mates near her. She’s too good for them.’
Shannon felt herself blushing.
‘What do you know about this Mr Darcy character?’ Rufus continued.
‘Probably not more than you do. Our darling keeps things from us, I’m sure of it.’
Shannon sighed. ‘I’m keeping nothing from you. Either of you.’
‘Well, then you’re being painfully slow about the whole thing.’
‘Julian,’ Rufus said, ‘we may need to stage an intervention for Shannon’s own good.’
Julian turned to her. ‘Oh, I do like Rufus! I’d like to keep him, please.’
‘You’re welcome to him,’ she said sourly. ‘Now, if you’ve finished talking about my love life, I’d like another drink, please.’
But they weren’t finished, not by a long stretch. Rufus came back with more drinks, still double-fisting his pints, and they delved straight back into why Shannon needed to meet Mr Darcy. She was glad to see her friends bonding. She just wished they weren’t doing it over her lack of sex. It wasn’t like she’d never had a boyfriend before.
It had just been awhile. Probably longer than was healthy – Julian was right about that – but it wasn’t like she could simply join a dating site like everyone else seemed to be doing. The very idea of meeting strangers made her feel faint.
People called her an introvert, or sometimes a loner, but that wasn’t right. She was actually quite happy to chat, once she got to know a person. The problem was getting to know them in the first place. She did want to meet people, she really did. It was just that when she thought about actually speaking up, she couldn’t do it. No matter how many times she told herself she would, she just couldn’t. Then she beat herself up for missing the chance.
‘I should probably catch the train,’ she said later. ‘I’ve got to be up early to get the dogs.’
Rufus glanced at his phone. ‘I’ll come with you. It was nice seeing you, Julian! Good luck with the rest of the show.’
Julian waved off Rufus’s good wishes. ‘Off you go, then, you country people. Go, catch your train. You’re no good to me outside Zone Two.’
Julian took it personally when anyone dared to go home before him.
It was after eleven by the time they slumped into their seats on the train. Shannon was exhausted, but at least it was over. She’d survived opening night and impressed her parents. That was the best part for her. She’d sprung a little leak when her mum awkwardly patted her arm – they weren’t a touchy family – and said she’d had no idea her daughter was so talented.
‘You did well with Julian,’ she said to Rufus, who was nodding off. Unsurprising given all the beer he’d drunk. ‘He is actually a normal person when he’s not performing. You always see him when he’s on. I’m sorry he roped you into being my Agony Aunt earlier.’ She turned away toward the darkened window so he wouldn’t see her blush.
Rufus touched her hand. ‘Hey, he’s just looking out for you, that’s all. And he’s right, you know. Guys should be falling at your feet.’
‘Tell that to the world.’ It came out more harshly than she’d meant, but hooked-up people were always making those kinds of announcements. What they never considered was that if guys weren’t falling at her feet, there must be a reason. And it might not feel exactly comfortable to wonder if it was her. ‘Unfortunately, the guys I know aren’t usually in the market for a girlfriend. If they’re not gay, they’ve already got someone, or they don’t know I’m alive.’
‘But why not, Shannon? That’s what’s always bothered me. I mean, look at you. You stand out in a crowd. In a good way,’ he slurred, quashing her objection. ‘It does make me cross that a woman like you doesn’t have someone who worships her. You’re so easy to get on with, and I’m not just saying that because we’re mates. You’re funny and smart and nice and so relaxed. You’re great to spend time with.’
He was just being nice, of course. Plus he was pretty pissed.
They shared a taxi from the station. By the time they pulled up in front of Shannon’s flat, Rufus had started to snore. ‘Hey, wakey-wakey.’ The taxi driver was glaring suspiciously through his rear-view mirror. ‘He’s just a bit tired,’ she told him. ‘Long day.’
Rufus sat up. ‘Long day. Especially for you. Well done, tonight, and thanks for inviting me. I had fun as usual.’
‘You’ll be okay getting into the house?’
‘Aw, yeah. I’ve got my keys–’ He patted his pocket. ‘Right here. Scarlett’ll let me in if I lose them between here and the front door. But I’m not that hopeless.’
He kissed her on both cheeks, then drew back a bit unsteadily to look at her, but he didn’t say anything more. He just smiled.
Chapter 14
Even though she still felt like death warmed up, Scarlett couldn’t face staying in bed any longer. She’d been mummified in her duvet for most of the week. Both she and her bedclothes needed airing out. After taking that first day off to babysit his snivelling wife, Rufus, bless him, made sure the fridge was stocked with food, and milk for tea, till he got home from work. She’d cancelled her training classes so there was no earthly reason to leave the house.
She was just sorry she’d missed the opening for Shannon’s degree show, but she’d make it up to her after her session with Max and Murphy.
‘You guys are going to think it’s Christmas,’ she told her dogs as she carried them off the train,
one under each arm. ‘We’re having Italian food after this!’ They’d loved coming with her to Murphy’s last session, and proved to be excellent stooge dogs. They weren’t snappish like many of their breed so Murphy didn’t risk a nip when he got overly friendly.
She rang Rufus as they got into the park. ‘Whatcha doing?’ she asked when he answered.
‘Just trying to think of another word for green,’ he said.
‘You live in the fast lane.’
He laughed. ‘I’ve used it twice in the copy for the Rolson campaign.’
‘It’s the weekend. You promised to give yourself the day off.’
‘I know, I’m not working, really. I just got thinking about it and figured if I could find another word…’
‘Chartreuse?’
‘Nice try, but not in context.’
‘Emerald? Lime? Aquamarine, aqua, sage, verdant?’
‘Have you got a thesaurus with you or something?’
‘Just a bigger vocabulary,’ she teased. ‘I may be late back after dinner. I’ve got the dogs with me so don’t think they’ve been kidnapped when you get home.’
‘How much do you figure they’d go for, ransomwise? Ten quid or so?’
‘Maybe for the pair.’
She wanted to tell him not to fall asleep before she got home, wink wink, but it sounded too premeditated. They needed more spontaneity in their love life, not less. She’d be sure to plan that in.
‘Alright, Scarlett, are you feeling better?’ Max called when he saw her coming up the path in the park.
‘Yes, thanks. Taking a few duvet days did me good.’ She pulled a Kleenex from her pocket to give her nose a honk.
Murphy was ecstatic to see Fred and Ginger again. He ran in close circles around Max with his hind end tucked in. Chase me, chase me, chase me on the grass, come on, guys, chase me! I’m running, see? I’m running!
Scarlett’s dogs watched this enthusiastic display with their usual detachment. Run yourself silly, if you must, but don’t expect us to follow you. We’re mostly here for the meal after.
Max found Bunny Wabbit in his bag. That stopped Murphy in his tracks. His tail wagged madly at the prospect of being reunited with his best friend.
But even with Bunny Wabbit in his mouth, Murphy was considering his options. Glancing from Fred to Ginger, a Westie sandwich didn’t seem out of the question.
Scarlett was just about to open her mouth to instruct Max when Murphy got another idea. With a playful woof, he leapt at her. Unfortunately, Max didn’t have his lead gathered in tightly and within seconds Murphy was making his affection clear.
‘Be sure not to shout at Murphy,’ Scarlett warned Max before he could speak. ‘Just get between him and me so you can guide him away.’
She saw the flaw in her instruction as soon as Max went for her. Within seconds Murphy found himself cut out of the coupling, replaced by Max. His hulking big frame enveloped her.
‘Erm, Max?’ Scarlett said coolly. ‘I didn’t mean for you to hump me instead.’
‘What? Oh, fuck, of course.’ He jumped away. ‘I wasn’t, really, I was just trying to get between you and Murphy like you said.’ He reached over clumsily to brush off her thigh, which just made things worse.
‘I’m sorry, this is a nightmare.’ He turned to his dog and whispered, ‘This is all your bloody fault.’
Murphy gave him the cold shoulder.
‘Scarlett, I’m not– I wasn’t– I don’t always follow directions very well. ’
She waved away his apology with a smile. ‘Just remember to distract Murphy. Let’s try another technique.’
They practised keeping Murphy off the other dogs as they walked up and down the field together. Scarlett wondered how to distract Max, whose face still glowed with embarrassment.
But he distracted himself as he started talking about a woman he fancied. The more he talked, the more Scarlett had the feeling that he was no stranger to the flush of new romance.
‘Her name is Violet. Isn’t that a beautiful name?’ If he was a teenage girl, he’d have doodled their names together on his hand.
‘Those old-fashioned names have made a comeback, eh?’ said Scarlett. She and Rufus liked the classic names, too. They’d tried out a bunch, back when they believed they’d have a reason to use one. Though Scarlett wasn’t so sure about Violet. It sounded like a great auntie’s name. She could end up in a knitting circle with an Ethel and a Maude.
‘She’s as beautiful as her name,’ Max gushed. ‘I can’t wait to meet her.’
‘But if you haven’t met yet, then how do you know she’s beautiful? And watch Murphy. He looks like he’s getting ideas.’
The dog was walking behind Max, eying a bit of calf-porn.
‘From OkCupid,’ he said, shifting Murphy to his side. ‘I’ve seen her photos, she’s got a pukka profile. We’re perfect for each other.’
Pukka? thought Scarlett. Even Jamie Oliver had stopped saying that, it annoyed him so much.
‘We’re meeting later in the week,’ he continued. ‘But I already know I’m going to love her, yeah?’
As Max went on, Scarlett saw that he wasn’t exaggerating. He really would love this Violet person if she’d let him. Even if she turned out to be violent rather than Violet. He seemed to be able to overlook flaws the size of the Grand Canyon when it came to romance.
When she accused him of this he happily admitted that his friends called him Bogart on account of his love for romantic old films. ‘It makes no sense,’ he said. ‘I don’t even know if Bogey liked that kind of thing. But the romantic bit is true.’
His mother binged on films, he said, and the sappier the better. They were her escape from all the testosterone that three boys and her builder husband generated. Since Max was the baby of the family, he watched them, too, till he was old enough for school. ‘Dad still accuses her of turning me into a romantic,’ he told Scarlett.
‘Romance is fine,’ she said. ‘Just don’t get too far ahead of yourself. At least don’t fall in love till you meet.’
‘Too late!’ Max sang happily.
Scarlett didn’t have the heart to burst his bubble. Besides, who said level-headedness was better than impulse? She certainly wasn’t one to dish out advice about relationships.
Barkley and Charlie arrived for their session a few minutes early. Barkley’s chin was inches from the grass. All the better to eat you, my dear.
‘Don’t mind us!’ Charlie waved from the edge of the field. Scarlett and Max kept jogging with Murphy while he tried to control his excitement. He could just about hold it together when walking, but speed turned him on.
‘That’s enough for today, I think,’ Scarlett wheezed, pulling another wad of Kleenex from her pocket as they started towards Charlie. Her cold medicine was wearing off.
The men said hello while Barkley sniffed curiously at Bunny Wabbit, wondering if the fact that he was clenched in Murphy’s jaws meant he was edible. Meanwhile, Murphy sized up Barkley’s potential for a quickie before they headed off.
‘Since I’ve got you both here,’ she said, ‘I was wondering how you’d feel about doing your sessions together? It’s just that the socialisation will be good for both dogs and I can’t always bring Fred and Ginger.’ She squatted down to give her dogs some attention.
‘Sure, that’d be great,’ Charlie said, stroking Barkley’s head.
‘Pukka!’ Max grinned. ‘See you both next week, then. And hopefully I’ll have good news about Violet!’
He hurried off to dream his Violet dreams so Scarlett and Charlie could begin.
‘He’s done a great job on the kitchen, you know,’ Charlie said, watching Max go. ‘The estate agent upped the sales price by five grand, and it cost less than half that. She thinks it’ll be a quick sale.’ He didn’t look very pleased about that. ‘I could do with some more time. I think Naomi needs it. Though Hiccup did let me into her flat over the weekend.’
‘That’s progress! Maybe you’ll be able to
live together after all.’
‘Then she pissed in my shoes.’
‘I’m sorry.’ Scarlett made a face. ‘These two have done it when we’ve left them alone for too long.’
Fred and Ginger looked like butter wouldn’t melt. Great little actors, they were.
‘They will do that to assert dominance. Has Naomi had Hiccup since she was a pup?’
No, Charlie explained, she was a rescue dog. It sounded like she’d turned up at Naomi’s brother’s house one day and moved into their garden shed. ‘Naomi’s nephews thought their dreams had come true,’ Charlie said. But no matter how they tried to coax her in for a cuddle, she stayed out of reach. Only Naomi and her sister-in-law could get close to the dog.
Naomi’s resolve to stay pet-free melted as she got to know Hiccup. The dog was wary at first. She wasn’t an emotional gusher like a Labrador or a golden retriever, and she came across like she didn’t need anyone, but over time Naomi proved to her that she meant no harm, and Hiccup let herself be loved. ‘Honestly, Hiccup and Naomi have a lot in common,’ Charlie said.
At the end of their lesson Scarlett left Charlie and Barkley practising in the twilight. Barkley was still confounded by the mysterious bounty falling from the sky, but he was working out that it might somehow be related to Charlie.
She popped two more paracetamol and braced herself to meet Gemma. She wasn’t sure how she was going to feel seeing her pregnant sister. She knew how she felt thinking about her, though, and that was ugly enough.
She’d had nearly a week to wallow in the news since Gemma dropped the P-bomb. Feverish, delirious and stuck in bed, there was nothing else to do but poke and prod the sensitive spots and see how much they really hurt. It wasn’t a grudge. She was well-acquainted with that feeling. They’d held epic grudges against each other when they were growing up. They could go weeks without so much as saying ‘Please pass the carrots’. And their regular refusal to admit the other existed meant there were a lot of family crisis meetings. By the time they got to their teens, warfare strategies shifted to the kind of mental torture outlawed by the Geneva Convention.
Love is a Four-Legged Word: The romantic comedy about canines, conception and fresh starts Page 10