She walked starkers into the living room. ‘I’m back.’
The dogs watched her standing there. Given that they followed her into the bathroom when she pooed, a little nudity never fazed them.
Rufus, on the other hand, did a double take. ‘You didn’t skate like that?’
‘Mmm mmm, I put my hair up.’
He smiled. ‘I’d like to have seen that.’
She moved towards the sofa. ‘You can see me now from the comfort of our sofa.’
A blast of gunfire erupted from the TV. Rufus dove for the off button. ‘What’s got into you?’ He sat up straighter.
‘It’s your rain check.’ Sitting astride him, she leaned in to kiss his soft lips.
‘Dogs, go away,’ he murmured when he came up for breath.
Scarlett could feel their soft fur on her calves, one on each side. They didn’t budge. ‘Dogs, go!’ she said.
You go. We were here first.
‘Put them in the kitchen?’ she suggested.
He groaned. ‘Do I have to move?’
She didn’t want anything to break the spell, but she never liked Fred and Ginger to see them having sex. ‘I’ll go. Don’t move.’
Carefully she picked them up, one under each arm, and hurried to the kitchen. ‘Be good,’ she said, throwing them a handful of treats and closing the kitchen door behind her.
Rufus hadn’t moved, though his jeans were undone when she got back. ‘That’s cheating. I’m supposed to do that for you,’ she said, suggestively she hoped. She’d never been very good at the sexy talk. She’d once had a boyfriend who kept up a running commentary in bed. She’d tried it a few times, but just ended up sounding like a conductor on the London-to-Reading commuter train. The next stop will be foreplay in approximately six minutes. Please mind your step when climbing aboard.
Sexy.
Kneeling in front of Rufus, she got his jeans off. ‘Come back up here,’ he said, gently lifting her shoulders till she was sitting on him again. He pulled his tee shirt over his head.
Despite being as gym-phobic as Scarlett, Rufus’s body was toned. He wasn’t musclebound like the guy Julian had drooled over at the skating rink, but he was still strong. Plus, he had the smoothest skin she’d ever felt. She really wanted to feel more of it.
Pulling him sideways so they were stretched out together, she slid her hand down his chest to his tummy and into his briefs.
But there was no nice hard-on waiting there. There wasn’t even a soft-on.
Scarlett tried not to squirm, but she hated touching a flaccid penis. When she was younger, Gemma once threw an enormous slug into her hair. In her panic to get it out she squeezed the soft, cool moist animal in her hand. That was exactly how her hand felt in Rufus’s pants.
But she couldn’t snatch her hand away. Rufus knew the slug story and what it reminded her of.
Suppressing a shudder, Scarlett redoubled her efforts. So did Rufus, it seemed, and within a few minutes things seemed to be moving in the right direction.
‘I want you now,’ she said, stumbling over the uncharacteristic words. Remember to keep your belongings with you at all times. The next stop is intercourse in approximately one minute. Thank you for choosing Southwest Trains.
‘Here?’ he asked, breaking off their kiss.
‘It is a comfortable sofa.’
‘See? I told you,’ he said.
‘Now’s not the time, Rufus.’
She pulled him on top of her, but no matter how he approached the situation, they couldn’t get the party started. ‘Hang on, let me move up,’ she said. ‘There, is that? How ’bout if I–?’
When they first got together he seemed to be always at attention around her. What a difference a few years made.
‘No, stay there,’ he said. ‘Let me– I can– I just need to–’
But no matter what they tried, sex was not on the cards for them.
We regret to inform passengers that the eleven fifteen express has been cancelled, and this is the last service for the evening.
She fought back her tears. His lips might have said yes, and his hands claimed he was turned on, but his genitals told the truth. Even naked in the comfort of their own living room, she couldn’t get Rufus to have sex with her.
She was ashamed to be so physically unwanted. Her very best wasn’t enough for him.
‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I can’t even– I’m hopeless.’ His expression was thunderous.
His words cut through her humiliation. He must feel like a total loser, too. Of course he was blaming himself. So it probably wasn’t the time to add to that.
‘It’s all right,’ she said, stroking the blond curls away from his face. ‘This happens to everyone when they’re stressed.’
‘Does it really?’ he asked. His question was somewhere between a plea and a challenge.
‘Oh, yeah, all the time,’ she bluffed. She needed to relieve his worry. If she added to it, she might end up with a garden slug in bed for the rest of their marriage. ‘A lot, actually,’ she said with a meaningful nod. ‘It happens to me sometimes you know.’
He pushed himself up on one elbow. ‘Really. You’re telling me you can’t get erect.’
She thought fast. ‘You know sometimes when I get up to go to the loo just before we…? I, erm, I add a little lubricant.’ She shrugged like it was no big deal. Hopefully the room was dark enough that he couldn’t see her blushing at the lie. As long as he didn’t ask her to show him the lube. She really didn’t want to have to repurpose her lip balm.
But he seemed satisfied with her answer.
‘Could we just kiss for a while?’ she asked him. ‘You know I love how you kiss me. I could do that all night.’
That was completely true.
‘Thank you, Scarlett. You’re amazing, you know.’ He pulled on his briefs, took her hand and led her to their bedroom. She respected his pants as the no-go area they obviously were and, with the pressure off, they explored each other’s bodies till the early hours.
She woke tired, but it was worth it. That had been one of the most sensual nights they’d had in months. Up, down, over, under, everywhere. She hadn’t even gone to sleep properly on her pillow. For some reason she was halfway down the mattress with her feet hanging off the end. What a session. Smiling to herself, she turned over to face Rufus… and came face to crotch with his erection.
She glanced at his peacefully sleeping face. She listened to his deep, even breathing. Tentatively she reached over. Nope, she definitely wasn’t dreaming.
His breathing quickened as she stroked him. He let out a little sigh as he started moving against her hand. His eyes were unfocussed when they opened. He smiled.
‘Shall I?’ Scarlett was so turned on that she might cry if he said no.
He answered by pulling her on top of him.
There were no slugs in bed that morning.
Chapter 19
Scarlett’s phone trilled as she emerged from the Tube station. Shannon started speaking before Scarlett even said hello. ‘Keeping in mind that hearing too much detail about friends having sex can scar one for life, what happened last night?’
Fat raindrops spattered the pavement, releasing that distinctive rainy city smell – a combination of earth, fag ends and spilled late-night kebabs. She pulled her hood over her head against the deluge and started towards the community centre to meet Max and Charlie. ‘Keeping in mind your prudish constitution,’ she mocked. ‘We… found a way forward. Things aren’t back to normal, but maybe we’re getting there.’ She edited the night to a euphemistic rundown of events, though she wasn’t quite as happy as she made herself sound. Jumping on the erection of a half-sleeping man didn’t seem like such an air-punching sexual triumph in the cold light of day. Rufus did seem happier though and, for now, that was good. She wasn’t about to look a gift horn in the mouth.
‘It’s times like these that I’m happy not to have to deal with sexual politics,’ Shannon said. ‘You’re a b
etter woman than me, throwing yourself on the grenade. So to speak. At least I won’t have to stroke Rufus’s manhood when we go out tomorrow.’
‘What?!’
‘Crikey, that came out wrong. I mean stroke his ego, about his manhood. Obviously I’m glad I won’t have to convince him he’s a massive stud, take him out to strippers or whatever blokes do with each other to man up in these circumstances. I wouldn’t have the stomach for that. You know what? Sometimes it sucks having a man for a best friend.’
‘You wouldn’t trade him for the world,’ Scarlett said. ‘Even if it meant stuffing fivers into g-strings.’
Charlie and Max were already at the centre, talking with the yoga teacher, Krishna, when she came dripping in. ‘Charlie’s got an offer on his mum’s house!’ Max called when he saw Scarlett. He sounded giddy as a schoolgirl. His bromance with Charlie was coming along nicely.
She shrugged out of her soaking wet coat. ‘Hi, Krishna.’
‘Namaste, Scarlett,’ she said, making her prayer hands. ‘I’m just going.’
Scarlett mumbled nom nom steak back, like she always did. If Krishna noticed the mispronunciation, she didn’t let on. ‘That’s fantastic,’ she said to Charlie. ‘It is fantastic, right?’ She reached down to give Barkley’s head a good scratch.
Charlie shrugged. ‘The buyers are offering the asking price and they’re not in a chain. Honestly, the new kitchen really helped, thanks to Max.’
‘So it’ll happen quickly,’ she said. That might be good for Charlie’s bank account, but she wondered what it would mean for his living situation.
As if answering her question, Max said, ‘I’ve told Charlie he can stay with me if he needs to. I’ve got the whole house just for me and Murphy. It’d be awesome to have a housemate, yeah?’ He pulled his wet sweatshirt over his head. The lipstick pink polo shirt underneath was wet around the neck and shoulders where the rain had soaked through.
‘Nice shirt,’ said Charlie, looking down at his own pink polo.
‘Good taste, mate. Next time we should ring each other first so we don’t look like twins.’
Charlie glanced at Max’s arms bulging from his shirt, then at his own normal human-sized arms and tummy. ‘We need name badges it’s such an uncanny resemblance.’
Scarlett threw a few squeaky toys on the floor around the room and got Max and Charlie to drop their dogs’ leads to let them play. ‘Charlie, whenever Barkley passes by a toy without picking it up, get in there fast with a treat. You’ve laid the groundwork for him to seek permission, so this is the next step. And Max, Murphy’s going to get excited about playing with Barkley. Sorry about that, Barkley! When he looks like he’s going to mount, say “Oops, time out”, and lead him away to a corner to let him calm down. “Oops” can be your no-reward marker. It tells him that behaviour won’t get him a treat.’
As they watched the dogs play, Scarlett asked, ‘Whatever happened to that woman you were going to meet, Max? Violet. Was she as nice as you hoped?’
‘She was very nice, thank you, but not quite my type so I don’t know if we’ll see each other again. Oops, time out!’ He walked Murphy to the corner.
‘Good. Give Murphy a minute to compose himself.’
Barkley watched his playmate go to the corner. He looked at Charlie. He looked at the squeaky toy and sat down.
‘Well done, Barkley.’ Charlie threw him a treat. ‘He’s been doing it pretty well all week, actually.’
‘I feel like Violet may be a few years older than her photos,’ Max said from the corner.
‘How old was she?’
‘Erm, I’m guessing maybe fifty.’ He caught Scarlett’s expression. ‘It’s all right, I’m talking to a few others online. I’ll find my soulmate eventually!’ He shrugged off the date, but Scarlett caught his hurt expression as he turned away. Poor Max.
As soon as Max let Murphy loose he ambushed Barkley again, landing on him in a furry heap and panting with joy at the chance to show his affection.
It wasn’t the reward Barkley had hoped for.
‘No, Murphy!’ Max said. ‘I mean oops!’
‘Guide him away to the corner again, please.’
‘He’s not getting better, is he?’ Max asked as he led Murphy to the other corner. ‘Every week I think he is and then he goes off on one again. He’ll have to have the snip, won’t he?’ He looked miserable.
‘It’s not a straightforward process, Max. We’re training him, but he’ll still be unpredictable sometimes. Just like people are. I do think we’re making progress, so don’t give up yet.’ Scarlett would love to tell him it was going to be okay, but she didn’t want to oversell the changes they could make. ‘You should stay flexible about the options, okay? We’ve got a few sessions to see how much he’ll improve.’
She bet he wouldn’t have the same objection to surgery on something other than Murphy’s testicles. Women didn’t feel their femininity threatened when their dogs were spayed. They just got on with it. Bloody sensitive men.
He really should have Murphy done, and not just because he humped. One slip of the collar and he might impregnate any dog on heat in the park. That wasn’t exactly fair either.
‘Barkley is fixed, isn’t he?’ Scarlett asked. Maybe knowing Barkley was in the same knacker-free boat would make Max feel better.
‘Oh, yeah, Mum had him done when he was a puppy. There was never any question about that. I was surprised she even got a male. She didn’t exactly like men much. I guess she made exceptions for pets?’
‘And sons, presumably,’ Scarlett said.
He laughed. ‘Definitely for sons. My mum doted on me, though I fended for myself a lot, too. She definitely didn’t spoil me.’
Scarlett knew how that felt. Neither her mum nor Gemma’s had been big panderers. They believed it was character-building for their offspring to stand on their own two feet, and sometimes to fall over. And it hadn’t seemed to do much permanent damage.
‘Mum was a cleaner,’ he continued. ‘So I did most of the chores at home.’ Charlie grew up in Brighton, he told them as they watched the dogs chase each other round the room. By the time the train station filled with City-bound commuters each morning, his mum had already been up for hours cleaning hotel rooms and office buildings.
‘That sounds like a tough job,’ Scarlett said.
‘At least it was better than her old one,’ Charlie mumbled. ‘But all that was before I was born.’ He didn’t look at either of them. ‘Mum was Lithuanian. She didn’t speak any English when she first came to England and there were a lot of people around to take advantage of that. They took all her identification away.’
‘Who? The authorities?’ Max asked.
‘No. The people who brought her to the UK.’
Scarlett caught her breath. ‘Was she trafficked?’
‘She was sold,’ he said. ‘By an uncle in Lithuania who was supposed to be looking after her. My gran died when Mum was little and her dad was away working. I’m actually quite proud of her. You wouldn’t think that, would you? But she was only sixteen when she came to England and it took four years before she got away from them. The other girls were too scared to go to the police, but Mum did eventually. She didn’t have much choice, I guess? She was pregnant with me by then.’
‘Wow, what a crappy start in life!’ Scarlett said. ‘I mean your mum, not you. I’m sorry your family went through that, Charlie.’
But Charlie’s mum sounded like someone who hadn’t just let life happen to her. Scarlett wondered if she’d have that kind of strength in the same situation. She’d like to think so, but given that she felt out of control if her train was delayed, she wasn’t sure. Imagine not owning your own body. Props to Charlie’s mum for finding a way out.
It seemed like she’d passed that on to Charlie. When he’d needed to solve a problem, he’d found Scarlett. That problem was currently licking the linoleum.
Actually, he had a bigger problem: a tightly-wound ball of furry hostility, and she t
urned up at the end of class with his girlfriend. ‘Hi, Naomi!’ Charlie raised his hand in greeting. Scarlett could see Hiccup’s flanks quivering with nerves and hear the little Jack Russell growling from where she stood.
‘Naomi’s giving me a ride home,’ Charlie explained. ‘It’s okay, Hiccup.’
Scarlett couldn’t go on with the session and just ignore Hiccup’s distress. ‘Naomi? It sounds like Hiccup is feeling stressed. That’s why she’s fidgeting and growling like that. She’s trying to scare us off. Try backing her away a little bit. Don’t pat her or talk to her. You just want to move her away from the thing that’s making her nervous. Don’t let her see the people next door, though, or she’ll get anxious about them, too.’ Not that the senior ladies’ bingo group was much of a threat. ‘When she calms down, give her a pat and lots of encouragement. Okay?’
Naomi nodded, leading Hiccup back into the hallway. Her growling stopped nearly as soon as she turned away from them.
‘Good. Now that she’s calm,’ Scarlett called, ‘give her a pat and have a good play with her. She’ll notice us over here and may get agitated, so if she does just walk her away a bit, and when she’s calm, give her more encouragement.’
Charlie, Max and Scarlett watched Naomi. Scarlett still didn’t get her appeal for Charlie. He was so friendly and she was so… not. There was nothing rude about her, but Scarlett had known warmer ice-cube trays. ‘It’s all about baby steps with aggressive dogs,’ she explained to Charlie. ‘It’s important to break her negative association with other dogs and people by getting her used to being around us without feeling threatened. It’s like overcoming a phobia. If we’re scared of spiders, let’s say, one way to get over it would be to not run away when we see one.’
When Max made a face Scarlett imagined him leaping on to a chair when a spider crawled out of his toolbox. ‘If, over and over, we see that they’re not interested in biting us, the idea is that eventually our negative reaction to them will become a neutral reaction. And then if someone were to feed us chocolate every time we didn’t run away from a spider, eventually we’d learn to link seeing spiders to eating chocolate.’
Love is a Four-Legged Word: The romantic comedy about canines, conception and fresh starts Page 15