He crossed his arms, his stocky frame filling the doorway. “And where do you think you’re going?”
I kept my eyes on my clothes and attempted to steady my voice. It didn’t work.
“I’ve found an apartment in Santa Monica.” I dared a glance in his direction.
Dad’s head jolted back, giving him a double chin. “And how are you going to pay for that?”
“With the job I also got.”
His jaw worked to the side, his voice like concrete. “What are you doing with Angel?”
It was hard not to get rattled, so I kept my hands busy and my sentences short. “I’ll be working from my new apartment. She can be there with me.”
“What is this job?” His eyes narrowed as he stepped into the room.
I threw my last pair of pants into the bag and flipped the lid shut. “Building manager. I’m going to be looking after the tenants of the apartment building I’m moving into.”
Dad’s face wrinkled with doubt, and I spoke before he could tell me how stupid I was.
“I can do it, Dad. The job description fits my skill set, and I signed the contract a couple of days ago. I’m moving in tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? When were you going to tell us about this?”
“Tomorrow.” My voice was small.
“Jody...” Dad closed his eyes, shaking his head with that disappointed look on his face.
Anger burned.
“I know you think stupidity is my MO right now, but I’ve thought this through, and it’s the right decision for everybody.”
“What’s the right decision?” Morgan appeared in the doorway, her tall, curvaceous frame making Dad look short and round beside her. He was only half an inch shorter than his eldest daughter, but the effect was kind of comical.
She took in my messy, half-packed room with a frown, her umber gaze landing on the crib. “Where’s Angel?”
“With Ella.” I rubbed a finger under my nose. Damn that it was shaking!
“What’s going on?” Morgan’s voice was quiet, but I knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long.
“Jody’s moving out!” Dad pointed at me. “Got herself a job and is taking Angel with her!”
“What? Wh-when!” My sister always looked so funny when she was flabbergasted. I would have laughed if it hadn’t been for the hard expression on Dad’s face.
He wouldn’t make eye contact, just kept scanning the room and shaking his head. You know what, screw him! If he didn’t want to man-up and talk to me about this stuff, then that was his problem. I didn’t have to talk to him, either. I wanted to yell at him to get out, but I didn’t have to. He flicked his hands in the air as if he was done with me and walked out of the room.
Morgan stayed.
Unfortunately.
Her hands were planted firmly on her hips, and it was in moments like this that she moved from the friend corner smack back into the sister zone.
“Why are you doing this?”
I hefted one of the boxes off the floor and dumped it on the bed, emptying my bedside cabinet and deciding to go for the truth.
“I can’t live here anymore. I feel like I’ve lost all my joy. I’m sick of moping around this house feeling sorry for myself. It’s time to get out of here and figure out what I need to make me happy. Living in this negativity is killing me.”
“What negativity?”
I threw a small stack of books into the box and spun. “Oh, come on! I know what you guys think of me! Dad can’t even look me in the eye anymore. I screwed up! And he’s never going to let me forget it!”
Morgan’s long fingers smoothed back the curls trying to pop free of her short ponytail. “Dad just struggles to deal with his emotions. You know what he’s like. But he loves you...and Angel. We don’t want you to move out.”
“Yes, you do,” I mumbled, kicking at the floor with my toe. “If I wasn’t here, you would have said yes to Sean’s proposal and you’d be living with him now. I’m holding you back.”
“I don’t—” Morgan’s frown was sharp. “How do you know about that?”
“I heard you talking in the kitchen.”
“Oh, you mean the day you took off without telling anybody?”
“I texted you.” I rolled my eyes.
Morgan straightened her back and lifted her chin. She always did that when she was feeling antsy, fighting to stay strong. “Jo-Jo, you’re not holding me back. I like helping you raise Angel.”
My hip jutted to the side as I crossed my arms and threw her a dry look.
She gave me a sheepish grin. “Hey, she’s my niece and she’s adorable...and you’re my sister.”
“Yes, your sister, not your daughter.” I kept my voice soft, knowing Morgan’s face would fall with my words. I’d only been ten when Mom left and Morgan had been forced to fill the gap. I would have fallen apart without her, but the truth still remained—she wasn’t anyone’s mother, but I was.
I licked my lower lip. “I’m not your responsibility, Morgan, but Angel is mine. My only priority is keeping her safe and happy, and in order to do that, I need to be happy, too. Give me a chance to prove that I can be everything she needs me to be.” I stepped forward and took Morgan’s arms. “I need you to believe in me.”
I could tell that would be a struggle. Morgan was so used to being in control and organizing everybody. She was good at it, a total pro, and I’d always taken advantage of her motherly spirit, but it was time to spread my wings.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I mean, there’s so much you’re gonna have to do, and I don’t know anything about this situation. How am I going to help you?”
“You’re not.” I squeezed her arms. “I’m going to do this on my own.”
She frowned.
“It’s okay. I know what I’m doing.”
Total lie.
I mean, I did, but her doubts were giving me a major case of the jitters. I’d been so confident telling Ella this morning, but that’s because Ella was telling me how awesome I was. She was Miss Encouragement. Morgan, on the other hand, was Miss Practicality, and the doubt on her face tore straight through me.
Crap! How much did she do already that I didn’t know about it?
I wanted to drop to my knees and beg for a detailed list.
Give me everything you’ve got!
But I couldn’t, because then she’d see how useless I really was, and like hell I was admitting to that.
No, this was me defying gravity and wishing on every star in the sky that I didn’t come tumbling down with an almighty crash.
The last time I’d gone out on my own, I’d come home pregnant, my dreams trailing behind me in tatters.
I couldn’t let that happen again, because this time I had another human being to consider, a sweet, precious Angel that I’d rather die than hurt in any way. The sad reality was, if I fell, she’d come plunging down beside me.
Chapter Thirteen
Leo
Jody moved in three weeks ago...and things had been going well. I saw her a lot in that first week as I ran through her job description and showed her what I wanted. She was really receptive and listened intently. From what I could tell, she’d been following through on everything. I hadn’t had to chase her up and I knew this, because I hadn’t seen her in over a week.
I’d been stuck at my piano while inspiration flowed through me like water. It struck the day I saw her singing in the kitchen, her arms spread wide with that blissful expression on her face. She was my nightingale, my muse, and that one image of her singing about starting over and taking a leap sparked an idea so potent I hadn’t been able to escape it. Because of her, I had the start to my musical. Lyrics and compositions had been pouring out of me as I worked through Act I, confident I was onto something good.
I cleared my throat and sang the first line of “I Want The World,” my voice dipping and rising over the notes. The melody was like a roller-coaster ride, but it suited the piece. The main character’s emot
ions were all over the place as fear and trepidation battled it out with an excitement so strong and liberating she felt like she could fly.
My nose wrinkled as I played the next note.
“That’s not going to work, mate,” I mumbled to myself, leaning forward with my eraser and rubbing out my messy notes on the upper staff. Yes, I was old school. I liked to compose Mozart style and transfer my work to digital after it was done. It took longer, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let technology hamper my creative flow.
I fiddled with the melody until I found that sweet note, matched with the perfect minor chord to let it really soar. Whoever sang that line would hold it steady, drawing in the audience with a sound that would hopefully make their spirits rise.
I could picture Jody on the stage, a yellow spotlight surrounding her as she sang about chasing down every single one of her dreams.
I played the line again, trying not to let the image force me into a mistake. It was pretty bloody distracting, that’s for sure. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Clearing my throat yet again, I went for it.
My long note was cut short by the ringing phone.
I swore and stood from the stool, hating the interruption. But when I saw the number, I couldn’t help a grin. Godfather Bobby.
“Hey, mate, how’s it going?”
“Pretty good, son. I was just ringing to check in on your new employee.”
“She’s doing great.” I shrugged, hoping I was right. This conversation was reminding me that Bobby had asked me to do weekly check-ins during the trial period. I’d been too distracted and totally forgotten. No tenants had complained, so I figured everything was running smoothly.
“How’d her last check-in go?”
“Really well,” I lied. “She’s a good little cleaner. Ms. Thornby hasn’t complained at all.”
“Wow! That’s impressive.”
I chuckled. “Tell me about it.”
“She remembering to record any financial stuff and keep a written record of everything?”
“You betchya.” Another lie. I really had no idea and needed to follow-up on that.
“And she’s coping okay with looking after her baby and staying on top of the workload?”
“Seems to be doing just fine.”
“Well, that’s good news. I’m gonna swing by next week and have a chat with her, make sure she’s still enjoying the job.”
“She is, mate. You don’t need to worry.”
“Okay. That’s cool. Listen, before you go, I’ve had something come up and I thought of you.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”
“A friend of mine is selling off an old, run-down theater close to you guys. It’s been out of action for over a decade, and I want to help him out, so I’ve offered to buy it. I was wondering if you’d be interested in resurrecting it for me.”
My eyebrows rose.
“I mean, it’d be no Broadway or anything, more like a cute little local theater. You could put on a couple of productions a year, draw a small a crowd. Heck, you could even use students who are studying acting so you wouldn’t have to pay them much. I’d front the money and you’d be paid from any profits once I’d broken even...and of course, you’ll still get your current wage as building manager until the place is up and running.”
I nodded.
“I figured since Jody is basically running things for you now, you could put your time into that instead. It’d be a good way for me to make your working visa more legit, and you’d be your own boss, really run the thing the way you want to.”
My lips pursed to the side.
“So what do you think?”
“Uh, it sounds pretty good, but...I’ve still got my sights set on Broadway, mate. I’m really after the big time.”
Bobby made a tutting noise. “I understand, I just can’t guarantee you that. I still haven’t managed to pin down my contact in New York.”
“Yeah, I know, mate, but I’m not ready to give up yet. I’m working on something really good, and I feel like this could be my only shot. I want to spend my time perfecting this musical, not refurbishing a run-down theater.”
“Yeah, well, it would be a lot of work.”
I chewed my lip, those old fears surfacing. Maybe I should take it. My chances for Broadway were so pathetically slim anyway. Was I being an idiot to turn this opportunity down?
No! I’d come over here to chase my dreams. I’d regret it forever if I gave those up. I needed to fight for what I wanted, not what other people wanted me to do.
“All right.” Bobby sighed. “But if you change your mind...or it doesn’t work out, this could be your ticket. I’ll leave the offer open for a few months while I try to find someone else. If I have no luck, I’ll turn the building into something more sellable.”
“Thanks for understanding. I think I’ll regret it if I don’t keep shooting for the stars while I can.”
“You’re pretty determined to make Broadway, aren’t ya?”
“I don’t think anything could stop me right now.”
A scream from next door made me flinch. I jerked toward the sound, my eyes popping wide.
“Mate, I gotta go. Talk to you later.”
I hung up before Bobby even said goodbye, lurching across my apartment and yanking the door open. The scream came again, loud and terrifying. My heart was bumping like a bloody jackhammer as I banged on Jody’s door.
“Jody! You okay?”
“I can’t move right now!” she yelled.
I tried turning the handle, but it was locked. “Are you hurt?”
“No, I just—I just—” She screamed again, making my blood run cold.
Charging back into my apartment, I yanked open the top kitchen drawer and scrambled for the spare set of keys. I dropped them as I leapt back into the hallway.
“Shit!” Snatching them back into my hand, I shoved the wrong one into the lock. Jody’s scream made my belly quake. “Hang on!”
Finding the right key, I rammed it into the lock and tried to open the door, but as usual it stuck. Bloody hell! I had to get this damn door fixed! Shoving my shoulder into it, I punched it open with a loud grunt.
Jody was standing on the couch, her blue eyes wide and terrified. Angel was clutched against her chest, a crying, dribbling mess.
“What is it?” I ran toward them.
“Sp—sp—” She was out of breath, her finger shaking as she pointed to the floor. “Spider!” She screamed again.
I couldn’t help my ridiculous frown as I turned and watched a spider playing at the base of the coffee table, its long legs flirting with the wood.
“Kill it, kill it! KILL IT!”
Her shouting made me jerk and I spun to her, an incredulous look no doubt plastered on my face.
She gave me a shaky smile. “I mean, please kill it.”
Tears hovered on the edges of her lashes, her gaze darting back to the floor. She flinched, her mouth dropping open with a gasp.
I glanced back down and the spider had gone. I thought Jody might pass out. The only thing stopping her from keeling over was the screaming baby in her arms.
She bobbed Angel on her hip, absentmindedly patting her back.
“It’s okay, little one.” I ran my knuckle gently down Angel’s bright red cheek, wiping at a stream of tears. “Uncle Leo’s going to get rid of the mean old spider, okay?”
I threw Jody a reproachful frown before bending to my knees and checking under the coffee table.
“There you are, you little critter.”
Popping back up, I raised my hands and spoke slowly to the terrified woman on the couch. “It’s okay, he’s under the table. I’m just going to get a paper towel from the kitchen, and then I’ll get rid of him for ya.”
A tear popped free as she nodded. It was an effort not to tell her what I really thought. She was being bloody ridiculous! The spider could fit onto two quarters easily. It was hardly the biggest insect I’d ever seen. She’d bloody die if s
he came to Australia.
“Paper towels are by the—”
“Yeah, I see ‘em.” My eyes skittered over the kitchen as I reached for them. Dirty dishes were piled in the sink. A burnt piece of toast was propped up against the toaster, a half-eaten jar of baby food was sitting next to it and then sat a row of bottles, smelly formula still lining the interiors.
I forced myself not to comment as I made my way back into the lounge.
Thankfully the spider was still under the table and a slow little bugger, so I caught him easily, squishing him in the paper towel before searching the kitchen for the rubbish bin. Jody sucked in a breath as I lifted the overflowing bin lid and went to drop the remains inside. I glanced at her face and smiled.
“I’ll throw this out at my place, shall I?”
She closed her eyes and stepped down off the couch, her foot landing in a pile of laundry. Clean or dirty? I wasn’t sure.
Angel was still crying, but she was down to a hiccuping sniffle as opposed to a scream. I winked at the baby, making a clicking sound out the side of my mouth. Her eyes popped wide as she looked at me, her lips curving into a grin while a long dribble oozed from her mouth.
Jody wiped it with the back of her sleeve, then proceeded to wipe away her own tears.
“Sorry about that.” She grimaced. “I’m not—It’s a phobia I’ve had forever, and I know it’s totally insane, but I can’t control it. They just...they scare the crap out of me.”
“It’s all right.” I smiled, wishing I hadn’t given her that reprimanding glare before. “Phobias are real. My sister-in-law is absolutely petrified of heights, freezes up like a statue. It took Kev over an hour to coax her down from a high-ropes course once.”
“Why was she doing a high-ropes course?” Jody was horrified.
I shrugged. “She was trying to conquer her fear. Didn’t work.”
“Obviously.” Jody huffed out a short, dry laugh.
She still looked pretty damn pale. It made the smudges under her eyes that much darker. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can stick around if you need me to.”
“Oh, no, that’s fine.” She waved her hand in the air. “I’m just gonna put Angel down for a nap and get cleaning.” Her cheeks splashed red as she pointed to the kitchen and then over her shoulder to the living area. I think a whirlwind must have passed through. “I’m a little behind today.”
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