“Yep,” Gabe confirmed.
“You always light up when you talk about her,” Bea said with a smile. “I know you really like her. Are things going well?”
If Gabe had scripted this and given these people exactly the right words to say to hit Addison directly in the chest, those would have been them. He’d not only talked about her but lit up when he did? They could tell he really liked her? Sure, that was going to be easy to ignore. Clearly, Addison needed to stop coming to this group immediately.
Gabe nodded. “I do really like her.”
He hadn’t looked directly at her yet, and Addison was grateful for that.
“And now she’s moved here.”
“Oh, honey, that’s great,” Bea said enthusiastically. “I’m so happy for you.”
Gabe gave her a smile that was sincerely affectionate, and Addison had to swallow hard. He was such a great guy. Dammit.
“Well, it’s kind of a problem, actually,” Gabe told her.
“Come on, don’t be that guy,” Austin said. “Just let it get serious. Give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen?”
Caleb and Corey both nodded their agreement.
“Well, thanks for automatically assuming I’m the one who’s commitment phobic,” Gabe said drily.
Addison frowned. She wasn’t commitment phobic, if that’s what he was insinuating. Which, of course, he was. She was just having-another-kid phobic. Okay, so maybe that was a little commitment phobic.
Caleb gave a short laugh. “Dude, you are commitment phobic. That’s not an assumption.”
Addition looked at Caleb. Okay, that was interesting. Not only that Gabe didn’t commit easily but that it was a well-known fact. Because the guy at lunch talking about getting their kids together and kind of joking about long engagements sure as hell hadn’t seemed allergic to getting serious. Quite the opposite.
“Yeah, okay, maybe I have been. But not now. Not with her.”
Her heart fluttering, Addison looked back at Gabe to find him staring right at her.
“Well, good for you,” Roxanne said. “So what’s the problem?”
“Her,” he said, still looking at Addison. “She’s intimidated by the fact that I have a kid.”
“She’s not intimidated,” Addison blurted out. Then realized that she’d just made a potentially huge mistake. She glanced around. “I mean, are you sure that’s what she’s feeling? Is that what she said?” Because it was definitely not what she’d said. “You’re assuming she’s scared of the idea of a kid, but maybe that’s not really it.” She would not label her feelings as scared, exactly. Exhausted, stressed, and overwhelmed were much better descriptors.
“Okay, maybe that’s not the right word,” Gabe conceded. “But she broke things off when she found out about Cooper.”
“Oh man,” Roxanne said sympathetically.
“Wow. That sucks,” Austin agreed.
“Well, honey, Cooper is a part of your life, and if she feels that way, you’re better off,” Bea said gently.
Addison nodded. Yeah, he was better off without her. But damn, her chest suddenly felt tight.
“Maybe,” Gabe said with a slow nod. “I mean, I get that’s how it seems. But I can’t stop thinking about her.”
His eyes were on Addison’s again, and she was having trouble swallowing.
“I want to be with her. And I just want her to give Cooper a chance.”
“Maybe you’re taking it too personally,” Addison said, again before thinking about the fact that she should just stop talking.
Gabe sat up straight, his expression one of disbelief. “I’m taking it too personally that the woman I’ve been dating—”
“You’ve seen her once a month for six months. That’s like, what, twelve days?” Addison interrupted. “You consider that dating?”
Everyone else stayed quiet. Addison didn’t look around to see their expressions—because she couldn’t stop looking at Gabe. And, interestingly, at the moment she didn’t care what everyone else thought of this.
“We’ve spent a lot of time in bed,” Gabe said, his gaze intense. “A lot of time. But we’ve also gone out and had fun and laughed and talked. If it had only been sex, I might have agreed with you. But it was more than that.”
He emphasized the word more, and Addison felt the butterflies take another swoop around her stomach. She cleared her throat. “But if she didn’t even know about Cooper until recently, how much did you really talk? How much do you really know about her?”
“You just told her about Cooper?” Caleb asked.
But Gabe ignored him. He answered Addison instead. “I was thinking about that, actually,” he said. “About how we didn’t share a lot of personal details. But the thing is—I do know her.”
He said it with confidence, and Addison had to admit she was curious about how he thought he knew her.
“She’s super organized,” Gabe went on. “She always has wet wipes and lip balm and pens and Band-Aids and stuff in her purse. But she also loves to be surprised. When I tell her I thought of a new place to take her and won’t give her any details until we get there, she gets this look in her eyes that makes me want to give her surprises every day forever. It’s like she has to be so on top of things and organized all the time that when she has the chance to let someone else come up with a plan, she’s all in.”
Addison felt the air whoosh out of her lungs, and she stared at him. Because that was exactly how she felt when she was with him.
“But she loves to surprise me, too,” he went on. “Sometimes it’s with sexy lingerie or edible body lotion.”
His eyes heated, and Addison could feel it even across the few feet that separated them. Her body responded to it, too. As always. In spite of the group of people gathered around them.
“But sometimes it’s with food from New York that she knows I’ve never had, or an I LOVE NY shirt just because it made her laugh to think of me wearing it, or it’s by getting up and singing karaoke in a bar we happen to be passing.”
Addison knew she shouldn’t be staring at him. If anyone in the group was even the least bit insightful, they would be able to figure out that there was something going on with Gabe and her. But she couldn’t look away.
“And I think she likes doing all of that because she doesn’t feel like she can be spontaneous in her regular life. She has to be on and prepared and in charge all the time. But with me, she can let down a little bit, and she’s discovered how fun it can be to make another person smile just for the sake of making them smile. Because you care about them. Because, yeah, the edible body lotion might just seem like it’s about sex, but it happened to be my favorite flavor. Which she discovered by spending time with me outside of the bedroom. And the karaoke might just seem like a fun thing to do on a whim, but she chose my favorite song, which she knew because I told her in passing when we heard it on the radio. But she remembered. And it was almost like she wanted me to think of her when I hear it now.”
Gabe finally stopped and took a deep breath.
“So I guess what I’m saying is that I think she cares about me and what’s going on with us more than she’s admitting, even to herself, and yeah, I think I know her. I know that she has a very put-together side that keeps things running in her life, but that she likes to let go of it a little from time to time and that she feels like she can do that with me. And I wish she’d trust me that just because Cooper might not be something she was expecting, it could turn out to be like one of those surprise dates I take her on—fun and sweet and something that would bring us closer together.”
Addison had absolutely no idea what to say to all of that. None. She couldn’t even make her mouth open. But her thoughts were spinning, and her heart was pounding, and she . . . wanted to hug him.
“Well, holy crap.” Dana finally broke the silence.
“Right?” Lindsey asked her. She looked at Gabe. “So you need to tell her that.”
“Definitely,” Ashley agree
d before Gabe could say anything.
“And you need to send her a recording of you singing that song,” Roxanne told him.
“And some of that edible body lotion,” Bea added. “For sure.”
“Yeah, where do you get that?” Austin asked. “Asking for a friend.”
They all laughed.
“Not sure, but I’ll ask her,” Gabe said, again looking directly at Addison.
The group continued to pepper Gabe with ideas about how to set about getting the woman back.
Getting her back.
Addison sucked in a deep breath.
Holy crap, indeed.
One of the women standing by the coffeepot had a penchant for peach-flavored edible body lotion, looked amazing in purple thongs, and had a spot on her right ankle that, when sucked on, resulted in the most delicious moaning sound he’d ever heard.
And she was now avoiding eye contact with him, pretending they’d just met and that she really had nothing to say to him.
The group was taking their usual fifteen-minute break in the middle of the two-hour meeting, and Addison was chatting with Roxanne as if she hadn’t had his cock in her mouth just a week and four days ago.
After he finished a brief conversation with Corey, Gabe headed straight for her. He knew that she saw him coming in her peripheral vision, because her spine stiffened and the smile she was giving Roxanne wobbled. Just for a microsecond. But he saw it.
He hadn’t intended to talk about her to the group tonight. Certainly not with her sitting right there. He hadn’t even known she’d show up for sure.
But she had. And the second he’d seen her, his heart had slammed against his rib cage, and he’d lost his cool. Again. Not on the outside but definitely on the inside. No woman, no person, had ever shaken him like this one.
And there was no way she was going to stand there and drink coffee as if they were strangers and she didn’t care about the things he’d just spilled.
Roxanne moved off as Gabe approached. He had no idea if that was coincidental or if Roxanne sensed he wanted a moment with Addison, but he was grateful either way. He moved in behind her and reached around her for a cup, brushing his body against hers.
“Pink thong or pink panties?” he asked, for her ears only.
She spun quickly to face him. “What?”
“You always match your underwear with your skirts.”
She stared up at him.
“You wore a tiny cherry-red thong with your red skirt, and a black thong with your black skirt, and blue bikini panties with your blue skirt. Today your skirt is pink. I’m just wondering if it’s a thong or panties.”
She seemed to be searching his eyes. “You remember what skirts and underwear I’ve worn every time I’ve been here?”
“I remember a lot of things, Ad,” he said gruffly.
“Granny panties,” she finally said. “White. Cotton. That’s what I’m wearing today.”
He could tell she was lying. “Doesn’t matter. Still want to rip them off you.”
Her cheeks flushed. “We’re going to talk about this kind of stuff here?”
“Yep. Anywhere, anytime I get a chance to remind you about how things are between us.”
“So one more reason not to come back to another meeting,” she said, crossing her arms while holding her coffee cup in one hand. It was a defensive stance. One she’d never used with him prior to finding out about Cooper. Because she’d never felt defensive or like she had to protect herself.
Gabe’s gut tightened, but he worked on staying calm. He reached past her for a packet of sugar, just for an excuse to brush against her again. “You’re not going to quit coming,” he said as he dumped the sugar into his cup and stirred.
“Oh?”
He took a sip and shook his head, watching her the whole time. “You’ve been doing this all on your own for so long, but now you’ve gotten a glimpse at what it can be like to have people to share it with. You’ll come back.”
He really hoped that she would, anyway. Yes, he wanted to see her, and this seemed one of the few ways to make that happen right now. But he really did think she could use the group. The people here were an interesting mix of backgrounds and ages and situations, but they were bonded by the crazy parenting ride they were all on, and it was rare that anyone missed a meeting.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Seems like the group spends an awful lot of time talking about you and your personal issues.”
He felt his mouth curl. “Not always. But yeah, this woman has me really knotted up.”
“And I thought this was a parenting group. Do you often use this group to talk about your women?” she asked with a frown.
“It’s a single parenting group. Dating and meeting people and having relationships is a big part of being single, right? So yeah, we talk about all of that from time to time. Especially when it’s something directly impacting the kids. Like this woman not wanting to meet Cooper.”
Addison lifted her chin. “She sounds like a heartless bitch. You should just forget about her.”
Gabe shook his head. “Wish it were that easy. But you should see the way she eats beignets.”
Her eyes widened, and she seemed to swallow hard. “Beignets? You’re basing your impression of her character on how she eats beignets?”
He nodded. “I know it sounds weird, but I think there’s something to my theory.”
She pulled in a breath and shook her head. “Yeah, that does sound weird.” She started to move around him, presumably to end their conversation, but Gabe caught her elbow.
“Are you more mad that I got you here with pralines—and knew that would work—or that I talked about how I feel about you to the group and made you feel a bunch of things you don’t want to face?”
She sighed and looked up at him. “Do you still have a son?”
He gave her an eye roll and a nod.
“Then it doesn’t matter how I feel.” She pulled her arm free and headed back for her chair.
Gabe watched her go, his heart squeezing with every step she took away from him.
“Ah, so the woman you’re in love with is Addison.”
Gabe looked over at Bea, who had come up on his side without him noticing. He sighed. “That obvious?”
She laughed. “Um, yes.”
“I don’t know if I’m in love. But yes, Addison is the woman I’ve been—was—seeing.”
“Well, you are in love,” Bea informed him.
Gabe didn’t argue. It wasn’t like the notion hadn’t occurred to him. But since he’d never been in love before, and the woman in question wanted nothing to do with any of it anyway, he’d been ignoring it, for the most part.
“And she’s a mom,” Bea added. “I can see why you’re frustrated with her not wanting to meet Cooper.”
Gabe nodded. “Any advice?”
Bea glanced in Addison’s direction. “Keep after her,” she said. “You might have to make her face whatever she’s afraid of.”
Gabe thought about that. Then he said to Bea, “Cooper is fascinated with alligators. I’m debating about taking him on a swamp-boat tour. He wants to, but he’s also nervous about the idea. It’s like he wants to know about alligators—the cool stuff, the interesting stuff, the fun stuff—but he wants nothing to do with the real-life, possibly dangerous stuff. My mom thinks I should just make him go. Logan thinks I should just leave him alone. What do you think?”
Bea gave him a smile. “Tell you what, ask the group. I’ll give you my answer in front of everyone.”
Gabe frowned but nodded. “Okay.”
Bea went back to her chair, and Gabe rejoined the circle as well, and for the second hour, everyone brought up a parenting challenge they were facing. They covered everything from teething for Ashley to rules for borrowing the car for one of Bea’s grandsons. Frustratingly, Addison didn’t share much about Stella. Just that she was excited about her new house and room, but that she was missing New York as well. Gabe found h
imself dying to know more. He wanted to ask all about Stella: What was her favorite color? Did she like sports or music or books or all of the above? What was their morning routine like? But that was all way too much. Not only would it completely scare Addison off, but it would raise eyebrows around the circle. And Caleb and Austin, at least, wouldn’t hesitate to corner him later with a What the hell, man? But speaking of being scared, Gabe really wanted to hear Bea’s advice to him about Cooper and the alligators. As he had when he’d first asked her, he sensed that there was something applicable to Addison in there somewhere.
So, when they got to Gabe, he told them about Cooper’s new interest and his hesitation about the swamp boats. He told them his mom’s and brother’s feelings on the subject and asked what they all thought.
The group was pretty well split on the whole push-him-to-try-something-new versus the you-shouldn’t-make-him-do-it-if-he-doesn’t-want-to thing. And Addison didn’t give an opinion at all.
“But I think he does want to do it,” Gabe said, catching Addison’s eye. Just like he really thought Addison wanted to have a relationship. But the reality of it was unknown and a little scary. “So at what point do I trust that I know him and want what’s best for him and will keep anything horrible from happening and push him to let me prove it?”
Yep, there was definitely a secondary meaning to his words. He knew her. He wanted what was best for her. And he definitely wanted to prove to her that he wouldn’t let anything horrible happen.
And he thought maybe Addison picked up on all that.
“Well, I have a thought,” Bea finally said. “Nearly every situation in life has a positive side and a negative side. Staying home and just reading about alligators will keep his shoes dry and clean and all his fingers intact, but he’ll also never know what it’s like to touch an alligator. And until he actually touches one, he won’t know if he likes it or not.”
Gabe looked at Addison. Yeah, not getting involved with him and Cooper would keep her heart intact and her life clean, but there was a lot she was going to miss, too.
Finally, Addison spoke. “You don’t think that a person, even a little boy, can know that he doesn’t want to do something without doing it first and having a bad experience? We can’t just sometimes know that something doesn’t fit us?”
Going Down Easy (Boys of the Big Easy) Page 9