As she rifled through the wardrobe for one of Felix’s shirts, she heard the bedroom door open.
“How are you feeling?” Felix’s voice washed over her, settling her polar bear with his presence.
She turned to look at him. “I’m good. Just hungry.”
“There’s food downstairs,” he told her. “Alex and Leo are here. They went out to the woods but couldn’t find Ryan.”
She nodded. “And Kara?”
“We found her yesterday,” he said. “She’s in the clinic but she’s fine. Tara is with her and will take her home today.”
She sighed with relief. “Thank goodness.”
Safe. Everyone was safe. For now, at least. She looked over at Felix where he stood, just out of arm’s reach, his expression unreadable. He made no move toward her, didn’t attempt to touch her, and she frowned a little at his restraint. Felix had always been careful not to push her, had never forced her to do anything, but he had always been fairly tactile, always touched her in small, reassuring ways. Something had changed and she could feel a distance between them.
“What’s wrong?” she asked him bluntly.
His eyebrows shot up. “What’s wrong?” he repeated.
“You’re being weird,” she pointed out. “Last night you were your usual affectionate self, and now this morning, you’re standing out of reach, refusing to touch me, and barely looking at me.”
“What’s wrong?” Felix repeated again. He took a single step forward, hands clenched at his sides. “What’s wrong is that my mate didn’t trust me. My mate put herself in danger without even telling me where she was going. Anything could have happened to you. Anything. And I wouldn’t have been able to help because I didn’t know where you were!” The last sentence came out in a roar. The murmured voices from downstairs stopped abruptly.
Felix took another step forward. In spite of his intimidating posture, Sara wasn’t afraid. She knew deep down in her soul that Felix would never harm her, no matter what. Still she felt a little nervous at this change in his attitude. This wasn’t the calm, laid-back Felix that she knew. No, he was furious and his anger was directed right at her.
“Felix…” she began.
“Why?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you tell me what was going on? You knew about that text and you said nothing that day or the next. Why?”
She swallowed hard. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”
He glared at her.
“Felix, you’re not a fighter, and that’s okay,” she said, reaching out to touch him. He took a step back and she let her hand fall. “I was trying to protect you.”
His face twisted with disgust. “You think that I can’t protect myself or you. That I’m weak.”
“I know you have a dominant streak,” she said. “Most male shifters do. But you…”
“But nothing!” he roared again. “Have you met my family? Do you think I could grow up with that lot and not learn how to fight?”
“But you don’t fight back with them…”
“Because I am not going to beat up my baby sister!” he yelled. He took a deep breath. “I love my family and I feel no need to prove myself to them. It doesn’t mean I can’t fight, only that I choose not to unless it’s necessary. I protect what’s mine.” He fixed her with a glare. “And I am more than capable.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t,” she protested.
“No, you just didn’t say anything at all,” he retorted. “Because you don’t trust me to be strong enough for you. Because you think so little of me.”
She stared at him. Is that what he thought?
He sighed at her. “It just so happens that I came across Ryan while I was looking for you. We fought and he ran.”
“Ryan ran?” She couldn’t believe it. He had never run from anyone in his life, but he fled from Felix.
“Yes, he did.” He looked at her, his expression sad. “I know you’ve been through hell, and I know he scares you. I have been patient, and I’ve let you take control because it was what you needed.” It was true. Felix had been so understanding that he’d made it so easy to mate with him, to fall for him. She loved him. Completely and utterly.
“I know,” she told him, stepping forward. “And I appreciate-”
“But I need you to trust me,” he continued, taking another step back, maintaining the distance between them. “I know you were hurt, but this mating is about more than just you. It’s about both of us. I’m a part of it too, and I need a mate who believes in me.”
“I do-”
“Your actions would suggest otherwise,” he interrupted. “You put yourself in danger and didn’t even speak to me about it because you assumed I couldn’t handle it. You never gave me a chance. Do you have any idea how that feels?”
The anger was gone from him now, replaced with hurt and disappointment. Sara would rather have the anger. Felix’s quiet pain was much harder to bear, guilt washing over her.
He turned and left the room. Sara stood for a moment, looking at the closed door. What had she done? She had finally realised just how deeply she loved her mate, and now it seemed that she had ruined it all. Yet, what else could she have done? She couldn’t allow him to get hurt because of her. Sure, Felix had won one fight with Ryan, but there were no guarantees that he’d win another.
So, the problem remained. How could she protect Felix without insulting him?
***
Felix knew as soon as Sara had entered the room. His lion sat up within his mind, taking notice. He didn’t turn to look at her, couldn’t look at her.
“Everyone will have to take extra precautions,” Alex was saying. “Just until we find him. Kara will be staying with us. When we’re at work, she’ll be with my mother.”
Felix nodded.
“Can I go see her?” Sara asked.
“Of course,” Alex said. “Any time you like. In fact, maybe you should stay with her and my mother while Felix is at work.”
“You’re going to work?” she asked him, her tone surprised.
“Yeah, it’s time I got back,” he answered. He winced to himself at the awkwardness between them, hating the distance but unsure how to fix it. He didn’t want to fight with her, didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t just accept a mating with someone who refused to see him as he was.
“Well, we should get out of your hair,” Leo said, standing up.
Alex checked his watch. “Kara should be with my mother by now. Do you want me to drop you off?” he asked Sara.
She looked at Felix, questioning.
“Yeah, that’d be good,” Felix told Alex. “I need to go get ready, so I’ll see you later.” He addressed the last bit to Sara and she nodded.
Alex, Leo, and Sara left, and he sat in silence for a moment. This wouldn’t hurt so deeply if he didn’t love Sara so much. It was fast, but it was often that way with shifters and their mates. She was the most important thing in his world, which was why it was so painful that she saw him as less than he really was. Would he ever be enough for her? Or would she constantly be trying to protect him? His lion snorted at him. They didn’t need protecting. If only his mate understood that.
***
Sara curled up in the back seat of the car, miserable and heartbroken. Her polar bear was sulking in a corner of her mind, unable to understand what was going on but sensing that all was not well with their mate.
“He was worried about you,” Leo spoke up. She looked up to see him twisted around to watch her. “He had no idea where you were and he was terrified he’d lose you.”
“I know,” she murmured. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. The plan was to get back before he knew I’d gone.”
“It never occurred to you to tell him?” Alex asked, eyes on the road as he drove. “If Tara sneaked off like that, I’m not sure I’d handle it as well as Felix.”
“You didn’t,” Leo pointed out. “You tried to hit me, but Tara wouldn’t l
et you.”
Alex snorted. “I still want to hit you and Tara’s not here right now.”
“Just as well you’re driving then,” Leo pointed out. He turned back to Sara. “Felix didn’t know how to find you and it scared him. He’ll get over it. As long as you don’t do it again.”
She sighed, unable to promise that. “I can’t put him in danger, Leo. He’s not a fighter and I won’t let him get hurt.”
Leo snorted. So did Alex.
“What?” she asked, confused. What was she missing?
“I keep forgetting you haven’t known Felix that long,” Leo said. “He does tend to give off this vibe of being a big, goofy teddy bear, and then people assume that’s all there is to him.”
“He’s not a big, goofy teddy bear!” she protested.
Leo fixed her with a serious look. “No. But he’s pretty, and he’s a nice guy, gentle, and not easy to annoy. So easy going that it’s easy to dismiss him as a pushover.”
She blushed a little. Was that what she was doing?
“Last time I did that, he broke my nose,” Alex added with a laugh. “I’ll admit, I totally had it coming, but I hadn’t expected him to do it. I’ve never underestimated him since.”
“Remember Harry Wentworth?” Leo said, laughing. “He made my cousin Ellie cry, and Felix went after him. Took us a week to persuade Harry to get out of that tree.”
“Ryan is a polar bear,” she pointed out.
“Harry was a Kodiak bear,” Alex told her. “And a really mean one at that. It still didn’t stop Felix.”
Leo sighed. “Look, Felix is easy going and it’s easy to underestimate him. He’s not naturally aggressive, doesn’t go out of his way to pick fights, but there’s more to him than that. He chooses not to fight when he doesn’t have to because he’s a nice guy. It doesn’t mean he can’t or won’t fight when he feels it’s worth it. He fights for his family, for the people he cares about. We’re a big family but we’re close, and we all know that we can count on Felix if we need help. Even for the more violent stuff. Don’t mistake his self-control for weakness.”
She stared at him. “I didn’t realise. Felix said something similar, but I assumed he was just trying to make me feel better.”
“I’m sure you like him,” Leo said. “Everyone likes Felix. But he needs you to respect him too.”
She nodded.
“Excellent,” Leo said. “Then you need to let him know that, and it’ll be fine. He’s not one to hold a grudge.”
“Has he ever hit you?” Sara asked, curious.
Leo laughed. “No. I’m family, so I get a free pass. He won’t fight women, kids, or family. No matter how much we annoy him. Take Katie. I love my cousin but she’s a massive pain in the ass. No one could possibly provoke Felix more than her, and he has never retaliated once.” His tone became serious. “You’re his family now too. Which means that he’d never hurt you no matter what, but he would do anything to protect you. Anything. And he’s more than capable.”
He faced forward again, leaving her to her thoughts. She had misjudged Felix. Badly. She had seen signs that Felix was strong, but hadn’t truly considered it, too afraid of losing him. Mostly seeing his warm, caring side, she hadn’t had his more aggressive nature directed at her. Of course, as his mate, she wouldn’t have been on the receiving end of it, particularly with him being so careful with her because of her control issues. Her mistake had been in assuming that if she didn’t see any aggression, then there was none. She’d been wrong.
Her polar bear snorted at her inside her mind, pointing out that she would never have accepted a weak mate. Her bear had trusted Felix while the woman had doubted him. She had to let him know that she wouldn’t make the same mistake again. There had to be a way to make this right.
Chapter 20
“No.” Kara folded her arms, jaw set stubbornly.
Sara sighed. “Please, Kara. You know that shifting will heal you faster.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need healing.”
“You’re inside,” she pointed out. “No one will see.”
Kara glared at her. “No.”
“Fine,” Sara said, giving up. “Just don’t complain about anything still hurting.” She knew better than to keep pushing. Kara never shifted unless absolutely necessary. Even then, she only did it when completely alone, never in front of others, not even family.
“So when do I get to meet the mate?” Kara asked, clearly changing the subject. “I mean, I know I technically met him when he rescued me, but I wasn’t really myself at the time and didn’t pay much attention. So when can I meet him properly?”
Sara shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s mad at me right now and he’s not talking much.”
“What did you do?”
“Why do you assume that I did something?” she asked.
Kara raised an eyebrow. “Because I know you. So what did you do?”
Sara looked down at her hands. “I didn’t trust him to be strong enough to protect me. I assumed that he was weak, and he isn’t. He’s so sweet that I didn’t see that he can be fierce when he wants to be. So he’s annoyed because he thinks I don’t respect him.”
“So, say you’re sorry and that you won’t do it again,” Kara said, shrugging. “It’ll be fine.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Just as soon as I can make him listen to me.” She paused. “While I’m being apologetic, I’m sorry that Ryan hurt you because of me.”
“I never understood what you saw in him,” Kara said, pulling a face. “He was always a jerk. Even before he was a psychopath.”
“I know,” Sara said. “I’m sorry you got caught up in it all.”
Kara shrugged. “It’s not your fault. People see me as easy prey, they always have, and everyone knows that you defend me. It doesn’t take a genius to work out how to get to you.”
“Kara, you could defend yourself.” She held up a hand when her sister would have interrupted. “You’re my sister and I love you. I will always stick up for you, but you need to start standing up for yourself. You’re not weak and you know it.”
“No, I’m just a freak.”
“Stop that!” Sara growled. “You’re different, that’s all. It’s not your fault, and it doesn’t mean that people can treat you badly. People are jerks sometimes and that’s their problem, not yours.” She sighed. “I know it’s hard, but you can’t let them get to you.”
Kara simply shook her head. “How long are we staying here?” It was another deliberate change of subject. Tired and grumpy, Sara allowed it.
“Until either Alex or Felix get off work,” she answered. The way things were going, she wouldn’t be surprised if Felix worked late.
***
Finally, the day was over. Felix sighed with relief as he tidied up a little. He’d taken far too much time off lately, between the salon getting trashed and the problems with Sara. Now he found himself working harder than ever to make up for it. He would rather be at home with his mate, but after the last few days, perhaps it was better that he took some time out. Maybe a little space would help.
Locking up, he made his way to Alex’s house, feeling both excited and oddly reluctant to see his mate. Before long, he was standing outside the house, still with no idea what he was going to do or say.
“Ah, good. You’re here.” Alex’s mother let him in. “I need to borrow your mate for wedding business, so you can keep Kara company for a little while. Then I need to be off. It’s poker night with the girls.”
Bemused, he followed her inside, watching as Anna Russell took his mate into the kitchen to talk. Sara had a wary, almost panicked look on her face. No, wait. There was no ‘almost’, it was definitely panic.
Kara sat on the couch, avoiding his eyes.
“Hey,” he said, sitting next to her but leaving plenty of space.
“Hey,” she murmured back.
“Glad to see you’re looking better,” he said. She wa
s looking much healthier than the last time he’d seen her.
“Thank you,” she said. Finally she looked up at him. “For rescuing me.”
“Anytime,” he said, flashing her a grin. “So what’s going on there?” He tilted his head toward the kitchen.
Kara shrugged. “Wedding talk, apparently. I learned not to ask.”
“Ah. I don’t blame you,” he agreed. “Sara gets this weird look every time someone mentions the wedding. A bit like a cornered animal desperate to escape.”
Kara snorted. “Yeah, I’ve seen that look a lot today.” She grinned. “I’ve never seen anyone push Sara around like Mrs Russell does. It’s actually quite refreshing.”
Felix smiled back. “Yeah, I guess Sara was the most confident sister, huh?”
Kara nodded. “She had to be. Tara was always quiet, and I…” She trailed off for a moment. Sighed. “I have issues.”
“Don’t we all,” Felix pointed out.
“Sara knows she made a mistake,” Kara told him. “She knows you don’t need protecting.” She pulled a face. “Sara is not good at apologising, but she will if you give her a chance. She’s miserable that you’re fighting.”
“Yeah, me too,” he admitted. “I just don’t like it when people look down on me. Especially my own mate.”
“Yeah, it sucks.”
Felix looked at her, noting the bruises that hadn’t yet healed. Her scent was a little… off. Not unpleasant, but unusual, a mix of polar bear and mouse trying to blend together.
“You know that it’s their problem, not yours,” Felix told her. Startled, she looked up at him. “There is nothing wrong with being who you are. The people who really matter won’t have a problem with it.”
Kara stared at him.
“What?” Felix asked. “I’m just supposed to ignore it? Tiptoe around and pretend that you aren’t a hybrid? Because, I have to tell you, that would suck. It’s denying a part of you for no good reason. You’re a hybrid and that’s cool with me.”
Polar Opposites Page 14