“Since it is only eleven a.m. on a work day, I’ll go with that.”
When Val was seated once again, Paige said, “There’s more.”
Val raised an eyebrow and sipped her water.
“That day when you took Ian to the doctor, Lily told me that Sheryl spilled the beans about them living with her.” Val flinched but didn’t speak. “Lily also told me that she wanted to stay here. She thinks if she tells that to the judge, it will happen.”
“That’s so not good.” Val rubbed the back of her neck, hard.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but with Ian sick and then you…”
Val waved her off. “I get it. It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming, but if Lily really feels that way, it’s going to be difficult. Does Ian know?”
“I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure.” Paige blew out a frustrated breath. “For the record, I’m not any happier about this than you are, but I don’t have a choice.”
“I know. You have to do your job, and everyone’s intentions are good. It’s just that, when you’re the foster kid, none of that matters.”
Paige watched Val’s expression change, could actually see the mask of indifference slip into place.
“I’m sorry, Val. Do you want me to tell them?”
Val shook her head firmly. “No. I’ve got this. I’ll do my best to prepare them.” She stood and shoved her hands in her pockets. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ve got some things to do, so…”
Paige felt the dismissal like a slap. She stood quickly. “Yeah, I’ve got to get back to work. Call me if you need anything.”
Val simply nodded, then walked over and opened the front door.
* * *
Val was torn. Should she tell the kids now and give them time to get used to the idea, or should she wait until the weekend so they didn’t have too much time to dwell on it? Neither option was ideal, as she knew only too well. As she sat ruminating, her mind wandered back in time.
“Girls, I need to talk to you. I’m afraid I have some bad news,” the foster mother had said.
Val was ten when she’d been placed with Mrs. Croft along with Mary, who was two years younger. They had liked it there, and Val had finally begun to feel comfortable, but everything had changed that night. Mrs. Croft’s mother was ill and needed to come live with her. She’d told the girls that she had to give up foster parenting and that they would be moving on in just two days’ time. Val had never forgotten the look on Mary’s face.
“But we’ve been here a long time,” Mary had said, her lip trembling. “Aren’t we going to stay together?”
“That’s not up to me. You’ll go with whoever can take you,” had been the reply.
Val remembered storming off to the room she shared with Mary, the girl she would ultimately never see again. On that day, she had learned that nothing good ever lasted. On that day, the shutters that had hovered uncertainly around her heart had slammed shut.
Val rested her head on the back of the couch, willing herself to breathe deeply. The memory had spiked her anxiety but had also made up her mind. She would tell Lily and Ian tonight.
* * *
Val took her time washing the dinner dishes, letting the warm water soothe her while she steeled herself for the conversation to come. Finally, she called the kids to the living room.
“Come here, both of you.” Val sat on the couch and gathered the kids to her, one on either side. “I’d like to tell you a story. Did you know that I was also a foster child?”
The children shook their heads, looking at her with the same rapt attention they used to give her at story hour. God, it seemed like forever ago.
“When I was just a little older than you, Lily, I was also taken from my mom, for much the same reason you guys were.”
“She crashed a car?” Ian whispered.
“No, buddy, but she used drugs and made bad decisions that kept her from being a good mom.” He nodded.
“See, I didn’t have any family members who could take me. My grandmother had died, so I went to a foster home.”
“Just like us,” Lily chimed in.
“Right. But because I didn’t have family, I got moved around a lot, from home to home. I lived with seven different foster families up until I graduated from high school,” Val said.
“Why didn’t you just stay at one?” Lily asked, frowning.
“There were lots of reasons, too many to explain. But see, with you guys, it’s different. The foster care people, like Miss Paige, have a rule they have to follow. They have to try and keep families together. For you, Aunt Sheryl is family.”
A frown, followed by a flash of understanding and a stubborn lift of her chin told Val the exact moment Lily figured out what she was getting at.
“I already told Miss Paige that we want to stay here with you. Family is people who love you. She said so. You love us, right?”
God, please get me through this. “Yes, honey, I do, but I don’t get to choose. I have to do what the judge says, and so do you.”
“No. Emma’s here, and school, and…and…everything! I don’t want to go.” Lily pulled away and stood up, tears streaming down her face.
Ian had pressed himself close to Val’s side, and she could feel his little body trembling. If she looked at him now, it would be her undoing. She pressed on.
“Aunt Sheryl can give you guys a good home, and you’ll make new friends. It’ll be fine there.”
Lily shook her head vehemently. “I’m gonna tell the judge no.” She stood there, arms crossed and eyes flashing.
No more explanations. Just let them feel. “I know this hurts, honey. You’re angry and sad. So am I, and that’s okay.” She hugged Ian tightly with one arm and held out the other to Lily as her own tears began to fall. Lily crumbled, allowing herself to be held. The three of them cried until no more tears would come.
* * *
“Ms. Cruz, this is Mrs. Ryan at Park Street Elementary. I got your message, and I’m so sorry to hear that Lily is leaving us.”
“I know, I am, too. How’s she doing?”
“Well, we’ve had some tears, but her friends have been trying to cheer her up. She’s doing okay, considering. So Friday will be her last day?”
“Yes.”
“Well, we’ll be sure to give her a proper send-off,” Mrs. Ryan said.
“Thank you. Lily has really enjoyed being in your class.”
“And we’ve loved having her. I appreciate you letting me know what’s going on.”
“No problem. Thanks again.”
Val hung up with the teacher. She was worried about the kids. She’d already spoken to Ian’s kindergarten teacher, who reported that he hadn’t smiled or spoken a word all day. He’d come so far, and she was afraid this move would undo months of progress. And there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it.
“You okay, Val?” Linda asked, for the hundredth time. Val had filled her in, and Linda had been overly attentive. She was sweet, but she was driving Val crazy.
“Yep. I’m going to run up to the book depository and see if we have any returns. Be right back.” Val was doing everything she could to stay busy, leaving the bulk of customer interactions to Linda. She didn’t think she could conjure up a cheerful smile if she was Dumbledore himself.
It was a slow and tiring journey to three o’clock, but Val was out the door like a shot once it arrived. She had plans to do something special with the kids tonight, and she wanted to make it fun. She got home with fifteen minutes to spare before the school bus arrived. Grabbing the bag of craft items she’d purchased on her lunch hour, she went inside.
Val quickly changed her clothes, then laid out the craft project on the kitchen counter. Donning her coat, she went back outside to wait for the bus, letting the cold winter breeze clear her head. Moments later, she heard the familiar rumble coming down the street.
Val’s heart constricted as she watched the kids get off the bus. Lily held tightly t
o Ian’s hand, leading him across the street and slowly up the driveway. Gone was their usual after-school exuberance, and their grave expressions mirrored her own emotions. Val smiled broadly, determined not to let them all wallow in sadness. Time was short—she would make it count.
“Hi, guys,” she greeted, giving them each a hug. “Go on in. I’ve got some cookies waiting for you.”
The kids perked up at that and made quick work of shedding their outerwear and backpacks. When they were both seated at the table with peanut butter cookies and some milk, Val asked about their days.
Ian just shrugged and focused on his cookie. Lily frowned.
“I told Emma I was leaving. She cried.”
“Aw, I bet she did. You’re a good friend.” Val saw Lily starting to tear up. “Hey, would you like to make her a gift?”
“A gift?” Lily sniffled.
“Yep. Check this out.” Val showed the kids what she had purchased. “You could make a card, or a picture, or whatever you want.”
Lily fingered the colorful papers, sparkly stickers, and new set of markers. “Can I make it now?”
“Absolutely. How about you, buddy?” Ian came over to investigate, wearing a milk mustache and peanut butter cookie crumbs. Val chuckled. “Let’s clean up your face first, little man, then I’ll help you make something, too.”
* * *
When Paige picked up Emma from the after-school program, her daughter had a scowl the size of Texas on her face. Opting to tread lightly, Paige said, “Hi, baby. How was your day?” That was it. The dam burst, the heavens fell, and her child dissolved into a blubbering mess in the back seat.
When Emma had stopped wailing long enough to speak, she said, “Lily’s moving. A judge is m-making her leave.” She said the last word in a drawn-out moan.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Paige figured she’d better not cop to having known all along. I’m a terrible mother. Should have seen this coming.
“She’s my best friend. She can’t leave,” Emma cried. Suddenly, her little tear-stained face brightened. “Mommy, you can fix it! You know the judge. You can tell him Lily wants to stay.”
Oh, my achin’ ass. “Honey, I can’t. The judge won’t keep Lily and Ian in foster care if they have a place to go. That’s the rule.”
“Well it’s a stupid rule,” Emma shot back, angry now. “They’re happy here. Nobody ever listens to kids.”
The child’s kinda not wrong. “I’m sorry you’re upset, honey. Want to go get a hot chocolate and talk about it?”
“No.” Emma sat in the back seat, arms crossed, scowl firmly back in place. She didn’t say another word all the way home.
Later, after they’d eaten a quick dinner in near silence, Paige had an idea. “You know, I could make sure I get Lily’s new address so you can keep in touch. You could be pen pals.”
“What’s a pen pal?” Emma asked, intrigued.
“It’s when two people who live away from each other send letters or cards back and forth. Back before cell phones and Skype, it’s how friends communicated sometimes.”
“Oh,” Emma said, brightening. “So we could keep sharing our drawings, and I could tell her about school and everything?”
“Yep.”
“That would be awesome,” Emma said, smiling broadly.
Paige had another thought. “Emma, would you like to give Lily a going away gift?”
Emma jumped up, eyes wide. “Could I?”
“Uh-huh. Grab your coat. Let’s go see what we can find.”
Chapter Twenty-five
Val filled the weekend with as much fun as she could, both to keep the kids busy and to make memories. They went to the bouncy house place at the mall, saw a movie, and went sledding on the big hill behind the high school. She took tons of pictures and had prints made of the best ones. They all had a wonderful time together, but that time was fleeting. By Sunday afternoon, the weight of their impending good-bye lay heavily on their hearts.
Paige was scheduled to pick up the kids at nine in the morning, so all their packing needed to be done by bedtime. Val had washed all of their clothes and laid out clean outfits for tomorrow. Lily’s new purple suitcase lay open on her bed next to Ian’s red one. Val was helping them pack their clothes, along with the toys and books they’d accumulated in their time with her. The energy it took to stay positive for the kids was taking its toll on Val.
Lily laid Emma’s gifts of a mermaid stationery set and a stuffed unicorn on top and zipped her suitcase closed. Ian grunted as he tried to force his soccer ball into his.
“Hang on there, Ian. Gotta move some stuff around.” Val helped him rearrange until everything fit. When he was done, the only thing remaining was Coqui. Ian picked him up, then looked at Val, uncertain.
“Coqui’s yours now, buddy. Will you take good care of him for me?”
Ian nodded, and his bottom lip started to quiver. Lily sat on her bed, her head hanging.
“I’ve got something for you both. Wait here, okay?” Val went to her room and retrieved a bag from her closet. Inside were her parting gifts for the kids. She stood in her room for a moment, taking deep breaths and willing herself not to cry.
“Come out here to the living room,” she called, and she sat the kids down on the couch. From the bag she drew two wooden boxes and handed one to each child.
“Ooh, what is it?” Lily asked, tracing her fingers over the flowers carved into the lid. Ian’s box was carved with sailboats, and he turned it round and round in his hands.
“They’re keepsake boxes. Here, lift this latch and look inside.” Val said.
Val had very carefully chosen the treasures inside each box, and she watched as they discovered each new thing.
“See those stones?” she said. Lily pulled out three colorful polished rocks, each inscribed with a word. “Can you read them?”
“Special, brave, kind,” Lily read.
“Yes. Ian’s say the same, because I want you both to remember that you are special, brave, and kind. Now take out that little pouch there.” The children each lifted a small drawstring pouch from their boxes. “Open it.”
Inside the pouches were silver eagle pendants, each strung on a sturdy leather cord. Ian’s eyes widened. “Like your bird,” he said.
“Yep.” Val touched her own necklace. “My grandma gave me this when I was little, to always remind me that I am strong. Now you can remember, too.”
The last item in each box was a miniature photo album. The cover photo was their school picture, and inside were photos of each child’s special moments from their time together.
Lily flipped through hers excitedly. “There’s when we went sledding, and there’s us at Halloween. Look, Ian, yours has a picture of you feeding the giraffe at the animal park.” Ian’s face lit up as he smiled.
The final page of each album was a selfie of the three of them that Val had taken at Christmas. Underneath she had written the words You Are Loved.
“You can take these with you, and whenever you find a new treasure, you can add it to your box,” Val told them. If the looks on their faces were any indication, the children loved their gifts, and Val felt a warm satisfaction that she was sending them off in a positive way.
They made mini pizzas for supper, played games, and the kids had a bath. Before they knew it, it was bedtime.
“Mama,” Ian said as he climbed into bed, “who’s gonna sing the coqui song to me?”
Val’s chest ached as she looked at his worried little face. Digging deep, she managed a smile. “We’ve been practicing it every night, so I think you know how it goes.” She had taught them the Spanish words, and Lily especially had picked it up quickly. “From now on, you can sing it together at bedtime. Wanna try?”
Lily climbed onto Ian’s bed, and Val knelt on the floor at its side. Ian held Coqui, and they sang. It was one of the most bittersweet moments of Val’s life.
* * *
Paige’s head was ready to explode, and it wasn’t even ni
ne in the morning. She’d spent a restless night worrying about how the move would go for Val and the kids, then contemplating why she was so emotionally invested. She’d been in plenty of difficult situations where emotions ran high, but so far she’d been able to maintain her professional distance. Until this one.
Maybe it was because Emma and Lily had bonded that she felt more personally affected by this case. Sure, let’s go with that. Paige scrubbed her hands across her face, took a deep breath, and knocked on Val’s front door.
It opened immediately, and Paige’s gaze flew to Val’s face, uncertain what kind of welcome to expect. Val stood tall, resolute. A ghost of a smile touched her full lips, but her dark expressive eyes telegraphed sadness.
“Hey,” Val said. “Come on in. They’re ready.”
Paige entered and saw Lily and Ian sitting on the couch, each holding the handle of the suitcase at their feet. “Good morning,” she said, smiling at them. Lily looked serious but calm, and Paige quirked an eyebrow at Val.
“We’ve talked it out. They understand,” Val said in reply to her unspoken question. “Everything’s going to be fine, right, guys?”
“Uh-huh,” Lily mumbled. Ian shrugged.
“I bet Miss Paige needs to get going, so let’s get your coats on,” Val said, a little too brightly.
The children stood and wheeled their suitcases over to the door. Ian looked up at Val, then dropped his handle and threw his arms around her waist.
“Don’t wanna go,” he mumbled into her shirt.
Val squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip for a moment as she stroked his hair. “I know, baby,” she said, her voice thick. “But remember, you’re going on a whole new adventure, okay?”
Lily stood by, tears streaming down her cheeks. Val beckoned to her, and the three hugged tightly.
Paige had to turn away before she lost it. She felt like the enemy, and though she knew Val didn’t blame her, the guilt burned like acid in her chest. She wiped her eyes, then turned and picked up the suitcases.
Taking Chances Page 14