I gaze down at him and have a sudden desire to climb on top of him. I decide to put a little distance between us, so I sit opposite him on the other wall.
He laughs. “Are you avoiding me?”
“You’re a furnace. I can’t be near you.”
“What I just heard is I’m making you hot.”
I roll my eyes even though I know he can’t see me. “Here we go. I wondered how long it would take until cocky Hogan came back out. That’s got to be a new record for you.”
“Cocky Hogan? I guess I should be thankful you still remember my name.”
“I remember you.”
“So I’ve made myself unforgettable somehow?”
“Meh, I don’t know. Sometimes I forget all about you.”
“You do huh?” He grabs my foot playfully and I shrill pulling back. “Something I didn’t know. You’re ticklish.”
“Stop!” I laugh, kicking him. He won’t, so I kick harder.
“Oww!”
I can’t see his face clearly, so I crawl toward him on my hands and knees. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” I laugh even though I feel bad. I move my hands up his calves to his thighs, leaning over him now and he’s smiling. “You don’t seem to be in pain.”
“I never was. You were just too far away.”
My breath hitches and I shift my weight to remove my hands. He places his hands over mine. “Leave them.”
His eyes smolder as he stares up at me. I glance down at his hands over mine and notice how strong his thighs feel under my fingertips. Wanting to feel more, I flex my fingers then gaze back up into eyes that make me want. I want him so much. He’s staring at me the way I’m staring at him.
“I made a promise to you. I don’t break my promises,” he whispers.
“Are you saying you want me to kiss you?” I ask.
He leans forward, closing the gap between us. “We shouldn’t.”
“No, we shouldn’t,” I agree as my hands shift higher on his legs. He groans and removes his hands from mine, cupping my face instead. “Why are you so fucking irresistible to me?” His voice cracks like he’s in pain. I shift my body until I’m sitting on his lap. He curls his legs under me to offer more support and wraps his arms around my waist.
I’m panting. I want to say something—anything—but I can’t speak. I touch the stubble along his perfect jaw. I bend my head and kiss his cheek. He moans and traces my spine. I smell his breath, his cologne. My senses are flooded with everything about him, and I can’t resist.
I slowly lick my lips and touch them ever so gently to his. My God in heaven. His lips. He kisses me back with a tenderness I’ve never experienced before. We both keep our eyes open. He’s so much like me, it’s as if I’m staring into a part of myself.
We take our time. Lips touching lips, enjoying the softness and curves of each other. He touches my face and I place my hand on his neck. And then it happens. Almost immediately we decide to take it further. His tongue touches mine and then slides into my mouth. I welcome him and melt into him. Inching myself closer to him, I can’t get close enough. I close my eyes and let go. Passion invades us. There’s no holding back. His hand is on my back, unzipping my dress.
I shift again to straddle his waist and he straightens his posture to accommodate me. I can feel the bulge in his jeans. I need him now. Our mouths never part. It’s as if the days of waiting for his kiss were more like years. It feels like I’ve been waiting for him for my entire life.
I slide my fingers inside the back of his shirt, and he pulls my dress down over my bustier. In perfect time we break our kiss and gaze into each other’s eyes. Heat and desire pour off us. We smile and then his mouth is on my neck and shoulder. I grip his hair and drop my head back to give him greater access.
The elevator jolts and purrs to life. He reacts immediately, hitting the stop button. We bolt up as the lights flutter on. I quickly stand, adjusting and zipping my dress. He rises and reaches out to help me, but I’ve already put myself back together. He picks up the camera and gazes at it as if he’s never held it before. His eyes flicker to the camera on the ceiling and then to me.
We stare at each other as if we’ve just met, uncertainty clouding our vision. He picks up my heels and hands them to me. Our hands touch briefly and he pulls away. He pushes the stop button again and within seconds the doors open to a crew of utility workers. The fresh air hits me full force and creates an awareness in me that wasn’t there before. There are voices all around us, asking if we’re okay, if we need water. I manage to nod and shake my head in response even though I don’t hear a word they say. All I sense, all I see, are his worried eyes gazing at me. He knows we’ve made a mistake.
IT’S ONLY DAY four and I’ve barely slept at all. I tossed and turned all night, dreaming of Hogan, or maybe just thinking of him in a dream-like state. Surprisingly, Brenda slept just fine. I guess she isn’t as confused as I am. I try to think of anything other than him, but I can’t. I swear I still smell him on my skin and it makes the memory of his touch flood my mind once more. I turn off the alarm before it sounds and decide to attempt to wash him away.
I know we crossed a line we shouldn’t have. He didn’t film anything in the elevator and I’m worried he’s going to end up in trouble. I begged him not to, so everything that happened between us was basically my fault. As I shower and dress, I plan what I could say to Herman on Hogan’s behalf. I could tell him I freaked out in the elevator and Hogan had to put the camera down to calm me. I wonder how quickly the camera in the ceiling turned on and how much it recorded of us.
I leave the room an hour early for breakfast. As I’m heading toward the dining room, I’m reminded that Carmen is gone and I won’t be seeing her for the rest of my stay. I wrap my arms around myself. I’m a mess today.
I hear Hogan’s voice before I see him. I recognize the deep tone even though I can’t make out what he’s saying. Sticking my head into the dining room, I see Hogan standing with crossed arms in front of a very angry Herman Mathews.
“I’m sorry, okay? There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
I turn my back to the door. Hogan is in trouble. I don’t want them to see me and since I’ve been filmed since I stepped off the elevator, I decide it would be best if I stayed away from them while they fought. The bar hasn’t opened yet and I’m at a loss about where to go.
I sit down on a bench in the lobby where I can still see the dining hall doors. Kicking the toes of my Chucks together, I pray Hogan doesn’t get in too much trouble because of me. Ten minutes later, he rushes out and slams the door behind him. He stands there for a moment and appears to be trying to calm himself. I decide it’s not a good time to speak to him, so I leap up and head back to the elevators.
He notices me and discreetly motions for me to follow him. He enters the ladies’ room, and I follow, knowing my cameraman won’t be joining me.
I slowly push open the door, afraid to see just how angry he is with me.
“Hi,” he whispers softly, his hands stuffed into his pockets.
“Hi,” I respond. “Hogan, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine. Everything that has happened here has been because of me.”
“How bad is it?” I flinch.
“With Herman? He’s pissed I turned the camera off and I was stuck in the elevator and not downstairs trying to solve the problem.”
“Um, how can he be pissed? You were doing your job!”
“Well, apparently he thinks I should be two places at once.”
A part of me wants to rush into his arms, but that would make things worse, so I refrain. “Would it help if I told him I asked you to turn it off? I was thinking I could tell him I was freaking out so you put it down to try to keep me from having a panic attack.”
“That’s really nice of you, Sam, but no. I already told him I forgot to switch cameras and the battery died. He wanted to fire me, but he can’t because he knows this whole ship will fall apart w
ithout me. I’m the only one who knows anything around here.”
“Well, that’s job security, I suppose.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “About last night…” he begins.
I don’t know what I expect him to say, but judging by the expression on his face, I know it can’t be good.
“It was a huge mistake. It can never happen again.”
I nod, but my heart hurts and I drop my eyes drop to the floor. He adjusts his stance and then takes a step toward me.
“Please look at me.”
Lifting my eyes to his, I see just how worried he is.
“I am so sorry.”
“Hogan, no. It’s my fault. If I hadn’t begged you to turn off the camera, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t be in trouble and you wouldn’t be filled with regret.”
He takes another step toward me, pauses, and crosses his arms for a moment. They drop to his sides as he speaks. “I don’t have regrets. I don’t do them. There’s a reason for everything and life’s too short to worry about the past. Should I have crossed that line with you during the game? No. Should I have done my job and filmed you whether you wanted me to or not? Yes.” His eyes lock with mine. They’re so intense I couldn’t look away if I tried. “Do I regret for one minute knowing your kiss is even sweeter than I imagined? No. Do I wish the elevator would have stayed out for hours so I could know what it feels like to bury myself inside you?” He pauses and I can’t breathe. “Yes. But it didn’t and now, knowing the consequences, we need to learn from it and not let it happen again. You and I can’t work. Right—”
“So that’s it then? It was fun, but it’s over?”
“It has to be that way. We both have too much at stake.”
I nod repeatedly and press my lips together into a fine line. “Okay. Got it. Let’s just stay away from each other for the rest of the game and when it’s over we can pretend we never even met.”
He shakes his head in frustration. “That’s not what I’m trying to say.”
“Well that’s what I heard and that’s fine. At this point, the way I feel, I wish I’d never met you. Then I’d still be the Sam I was before this fucked up game instead of the Sam who feels shit she never thought was possible.”
I need to get away from him. I pivot and blast through the door. He doesn’t follow me and it speaks volumes.
The minute I exit the bathroom, the camera is back in my face. I hate the camera right now, and if I could sit in the bathroom all day to avoid it, I would. I pass the dining room and note it’s empty. I enter and pour myself a much needed cup of coffee. I sit at the table and glance down at my hands. They’re trembling. I want to throw the coffee at the wall, but I can’t be that girl. How did I let anyone get to me this much? What’s wrong with me?
“Good morning.”
Maria is standing in front of me and her smile turns into a frown the minute she sees my face. “Whoa. You look like you battled a demon in your dreams last night.”
Chuckling lightly, I reply, “That would mean I’d actually slept.”
She regards me sympathetically. “I know last night was hard on you, but there’s still a lot of game left, and you’re doing really well.”
Last night… Do people know about Hogan and me? I pause to collect my thoughts. She means Carmen. How could I forget about my best friend? “I can’t believe Courtney is here and Carmen had to go home.”
Maria shakes her head. “I know, it’s ridiculous. She’s so mean-spirited. I’ve met a lot of nasty people in my life, but she’s just hateful.”
“I need to start playing this game smarter. She and Carter are up to something, I just don’t know what.”
“I’ll keep my eyes and ears open.”
“Thanks, Almighty.”
She smiles and I start to feel better. I can do this. I have to.
After breakfast we gather in the boardroom again. Two of the cameras aren’t working properly and we wait for the crew to switch them out. Hogan is all over the room, but I won’t even acknowledge his presence. Bending down, I lift my water bottle from the floor and take a small swig. I replace it as Bryce speaks.
“We’ve almost got it together. Why don’t you take fifteen-minute break and then we should be ready to go.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. I rush out, thankful for the extra time to clear my head. Am I paranoid today, or is everyone cringing when they see me? Do I look that bad? I decide I’d better check out my reflection. Rubbing my face and turning without looking, I walk straight into Carter.
“Watch where you’re going, bitch.”
He doesn’t want to mess with me today. “Fuck off, Carter. Stop being such a fucking baby.”
“You look terrible. Like maybe you lost your best friend in the world.” He laughs.
“You’re going to get yours. Don’t you fucking worry your ugly-ass, little beady head.”
Something appears to distract him and he races away from me. I shake my head and make my way into the bathroom. I do look like hell. I’ve gone without sleep before, and I know I’ll be fine, but damn. I pinch my cheeks and splash water on my face. Drying my hands, I return to the boardroom but remain outside. The only person inside is Carter. I won’t go back in there until I absolutely have to.
When Bryce calls for us, I step into the room with new purpose. There are a couple of empty chairs, but I’m too tired to recognize who’s missing. Bryce is speaking to the crew and everyone else is bustling about, making final preparations. I reach down for my water bottle and unscrew the cap. As I lift it to my mouth, a hand comes crashing down on my face, smacking it out of my hands.
“Stop! Don’t do it!”
MY SHIRT IS wet and everyone appears to be moving in slow motion as I try to understand what just happened. Carter is being pulled away from the table by security. Maria is bent down next to me. Her lips are moving, but I don’t hear a sound. I close my eyes to regain my composure. I hear her voice as I stare at her large, nervous eyes.
“Sam, did you drink the water?”
“I was going to, but then…”
My head turns from left to right. My fellow contestants have bolted out of their chairs, their faces depicting worry, shock, and horror.
Turning to Maria, I ask, “What the fuck just happened?”
She smiles. “I think she’s okay.”
I push up from my chair and hear Carter speak. “It’s a game. He said we could do whatever it took to win. I was only trying to get her out. You don’t understand.”
Hogan rushes over to me with a towel. “Sam, step away from the table.” He hands me the towel, then leads me to the front of the room.
Within a few minutes, the police arrive and Maria is speaking with an officer and pointing at me. Carter is placed in handcuffs and appears to be resisting arrest. The cameras are rolling, but Hogan isn’t filming. He’s staring at me with a look I’ve never seen before. I don’t know what to make of it, or anything else for that matter.
The other players are asked to move to the dining room. Bryce, Herman, Lori, and the other producer, whose name I don’t know, are speaking with each other and the police.
I shout, “Will someone please tell me what’s going on?”
An officer uses gloved hands to pick up what’s left of my water bottle. Some fluid still remains at the bottom.
A female officer stomps toward me with a robe. “Ms. Wittaker, I’m going to need your shirt for evidence. Could you please come with me to the bathroom?”
“I’m not going anywhere or doing anything until someone tells me what the fuck just happened!”
“Sam, please. I’ll tell you everything I know as soon as you come back,” Hogan insists.
I unbutton my shirt. I refuse to leave until I know what happened. For all I know, they won’t let me in here again. The officer holds up the robe and Hogan turns away as I remove my blouse. “Do you need my bra too?”
The female officer replies, “Just your shi
rt.”
The officer wraps the open robe around me, then places my clothing into a see-through bag.
Tying the robe around my waist, I turn my attention to Hogan with questioning eyes.
“All I know is we were setting up to film. I heard Maria yell ‘Stop! Don’t do it!’ and when I turned, she smacked the water bottle out of your hand. You seemed to go stiff for a moment. Then she said, ‘He put something in her drink. I saw him,’ all while pointing to Carter.”
“I must have been in shock. I didn’t hear that part.”
He faces me directly. “Are you sure you feel okay? Did you drink any of it at all?”
My brain searches through my memories of the day. “I remember having some before the break.”
Hogan waves his hand to an officer. “She had a sip before the break.”
The officer says, “From what the eyewitness is telling us, the drugs were placed in your water during the break.” Before walking away, she adds, “The EMTs are on their way to check you out, just to be sure. We’re going to need a statement from you as well.”
I nod and Hogan seems appeased. Placing one hand on my back and motioning with the other, Hogan commands, “Sit.”
“I’m not a dog, Hogan. You can’t tell me to sit. You can’t tell me to do anything. And get your fucking hands off me!” I whisper forcefully, gritting my teeth.
He rolls his eyes at me.
“You said you were going to stay away from me. Why are you talking to me right now? Aren’t you afraid of crossing another line?”
“I didn’t say I would stay away from you. You said that. And for the record, what just happened scared the shit out of me. I need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” I mumble as I sit and wave at him carelessly. “Go back to pretending I don’t exist.”
“Dammit, Sam. You have no idea how hard this is for me.”
He sighs loudly as he glances around to make sure no one is watching. He crouches down next me and whispers, “Do you really think for one moment I could ever forget you? That I would want to?”
He’s confusing me even more and he can tell.
The Fabulist Page 19