by Nicole Casey
“What is it?” she demanded. “Did you forget something?”
I shook my head slowly.
“I have no idea who else will be there,” I said, the realization filling me with worry for some inexplicable reason. “Maybe no one.”
Who else could there be? Both our parents and Charlie’s parents were also deceased. Charlie was an only child and I was Jocelyn’s only sibling.
Unless there was someone on Charlie’s side whom I did not know…
“Evan? Are you all right?” Vyolet asked, stepping toward me and placing a hand on my bicep.
I looked at her pleadingly.
“I don’t want to go in there alone,” I whispered, hating myself for confessing such a thing to her. It made me feel weak and inept.
A look of understanding crossed over her face and she shrugged nonchalantly. I wondered if she could read my inner thoughts.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replied sweetly, slipping her hand into mine. “You’re not alone. I’m coming too.”
She led me toward the offices and in that moment, I knew that it did not matter whose daughter she was or what the age difference; there was a yearning in me to know Vyolet Viera in the most intimate way.
And I feared that no amount of suppressing that feeling would prevail.
4
Vyolet
I did not join him inside the lawyer’s inner office but instead waited in the small outer lobby under the unusually watchful eyes of a middle-aged receptionist.
As I sat there, I wondered what she was thinking.
Does she wonder who I am, waiting on this handsome man? Is she jealous? Does she think I’m Evan’s lover?
A part of me hoped so and I reddened at the idea.
This is how Maya thinks. She is rubbing off on me, I thought, dismayed with myself.
As he had feared, Evan found he was the only person in attendance for the reading.
I felt as if I was in the office with him, my nerves slightly shot as I tried to sit still and resist to urge to pace about the office.
I had made plans to meet a friend for lunch but as I remained in the firm, I texted Josie and told her I had a headache.
I don’t know what inspired me to lie. Josie wouldn’t have cared if I had simply canceled without explanation but a small, guilty part of me wanted to keep my newfound connection to Evan a secret at all cost.
It’s because you know whatever attraction you have toward him is wrong and you’re trying to hide from your own guilty conscious, I thought, annoyed with myself for indulging in such a childish crush on my father’s friend.
Evan had been conferring with the attorney for just over two hours and when he finally came out, I could read the exhaustion on his face.
I jumped up eagerly as he shook hands with the lawyer and walked toward me.
Offering him a timid smile, I looked at him expectantly.
“Was it as bad as you expected?” I asked softly.
He glanced over at the nosy receptionist who seemed to be leaning forward to listen to the details.
Grabbing my hand, he led me outside into the bright July sunshine without a word and I found myself clinging to his hand as if savoring the feel of his skin against mine.
“Let’s get out of here,” he sighed, unlocking his car with the key fob.
I did not hesitate to climb into the passenger seat, despite the fact my car was still parked in the lot.
It seemed natural that I would go with him.
He squealed out of his space and I could clearly read the tension on his face.
“I just need to go for a little drive and clear my head before I pick up Alex,” he told me, eyeing me through his peripheral vision.
“Sure,” I replied. “You were in there for a while.”
Evan was quiet for a long while and he followed the roads down toward Whittaker Point along the Neuse River.
I didn’t push the issue, sensing he didn’t want to talk about it.
“They left me everything,” he said finally as the car slowed to a park near the tip of the point.
No one was around but the screeching gulls who dove around almost maniacally as they taunted one another.
“The house, the cars, the insurance money, their savings. They have some money put aside for Alex’s school but they have entrusted everything to me.”
I waited for him to continue because I could see there was so much more he wanted to say.
His breaths seemed to be coming out in short rasps and I longed to look inside his mind for just a moment to see what it was that tormented him.
“I am so torn,” he said woefully. “Should I stay in the house and ensure that Alex gets it when she’s old enough? Should I sell it and put the money aside for her to use?”
“Have you spoken to Alex about what she wants?” I asked simply.
He scoffed and I felt myself tense slightly.
“She’s six, Vyolet. What does she know about long term planning?” he demanded and I felt myself bristle at his tone slightly.
“Just because she is young does not mean she doesn’t have feelings,” I replied quietly. “Maybe she feels the same way as you and doesn’t want to live in the house because it is too painful for her. Maybe she would like a change, even if it’s the next town over.”
I hated that I sounded like I was selling Oriental to him but I could not help but get excited at the idea of having him living so close to me.
Even though nothing can ever happen between us, I thought hastily, lowering my eyes.
I felt him staring at me, his smoky irises burning into me and goosebumps pricked my skin as if he had brushed over my arms with his fingertips.
“Look at me,” he ordered and I felt as if his words magnetically drew me to his face.
“Yes?” I whispered, my insides quivering as his hand reached up to cup my face.
“You are so beautiful,” he murmured but as I tried to shift my gaze away, his fingers tightened around my chin and he held me firmly in place.
“Don’t look away,” he instructed. “Look at me.”
I licked my lips nervously, wanting him to kiss me as I sat staring at him with naked yearning.
His eyes raked over my face, along the lines of my cheeks and finally resting on my lips.
I felt my eyes half closed, my body leaning in to taste his mouth against mine but he kept me waiting.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asked, his voice taking on a tone I had never heard before. It gave me shivers and I tried to nod.
“Say it.”
My voice seemed trapped in my chest as I continued to watch him, his mouth mere inches from mine.
“Tell me what you want,” he said again and I was sure my face was on fire. Never had a man asked me to beg for a kiss but the warmth spreading through my body was too uncomfortable to deny.
I needed his kiss.
“Please kiss me,” I whispered.
“I can’t hear you,” he said, pulling his face back. Instinctively I moved forward but his grip only grew tighter.
I bit on my bottom lip.
“Kiss me!” I cried, wriggling in my seat as I felt a rush between my thighs. “Please!”
He nodded slowly, drawing my cheeks toward his to rub our skin together.
Without warning, he parted his mouth, pushing his lips to mine and a bolt of energy surged through me as if I had been shocked.
He tasted as delicious as I had expected, his tongue exploring my teeth until he grabbed onto my tongue and began to suck on it.
I gasped, my eyes wide as I stared at him in disbelief but he only nursed harder until his teeth nipped down and I yelped, a shock of pleasure coursing down my spine.
I pulled back and he released my face, a long finger trailing over my cheek.
“My God, you are so beautiful, Vyolet,” he murmured, turning the key in the ignition and racing out of the point, pursing his lips together as if to relish the taste of me.
I was s
ilent all the way back to the Starbuck’s parking lot because that was how long it took for my heart to regain its normal rate.
I can’t say for certain when I made the decision to ignore my inner voices warning me to keep my distance from Evan Collier but when I think about it now, I don’t recall them being that loud in the first place.
After the kiss, I could not erase him from my mind.
The attraction I had for him was unlike anything I had ever experienced with another man.
It went beyond his smoldering attractiveness. I could see something dark and tormented in his eyes, something I wanted to ease and comfort.
I assumed that it was a result of his sister’s death as when I saw him with Alex, he was compassionate and kind, a cloud of sadness hovering above his head.
Who better to help him through the devastating loss of his sister and the trials and tribulations of raising a small child than a school teacher with the utmost patience and understanding?
Surely fate had put him on my path for I could not stop images of his ruggedly handsome face from entering my mind at all hours of the day and night.
It was unlike me to entertain the thoughts that were crossing my mind when I looked at his full lips and envisioned them trailing their way down my stomach toward my center.
At night, I lay awake, my fingers gently stroking at the slick cleft between my legs as I pictured him on top of me, thrusting himself inside.
Inevitably, I would release, my face burning with shame but it did not stop me from continuing with the fantasies.
To my chagrin, I did not find myself alone with him again after that day and I wondered if it was by design or bad luck.
I wanted nothing more than to finish what we had started at Whittaker Point but suddenly the fates ceased smiling upon us.
Suddenly I feared that whatever opportunity we had to be together had somehow slipped us by in our caution.
On Sunday dinner, I casually brought the subject of Evan up to dad as we sat outside for a late afternoon barbecue.
“So dad, what has Evan decided about staying in Minnesott Beach?”
“Uncle Evan!” mom scolded me and I swallowed the bile which rose in my throat. I pretended to ignore her.
“Dad?”
“He’s selling Jocelyn’s house,” dad informed me, taking a swig of his beer and I felt my eyebrows raise.
“Oh really?” I murmured. “Where is he moving then?”
“I think he’s going back to Seattle,” mom replied.
I felt my blood run cold.
“What?” I screeched. “What do you mean he’s going back to Seattle?”
Maya glanced up from her spot by the pool, her eyes widening with interest but I paid her no mind.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
He couldn’t go back to Seattle. That was the last thing he had on his mind.
Was he leaving because of me? Had I scared him off somehow?
We had seen each other maybe four times over the past two weeks, twice in Oriental while he had been with Alex and the other times at the house for suppers hosted by my parents.
Not once had he mentioned moving back to Seattle but our conversations had been short and polite.
I had searched his face for signs of the man who had kissed me in the car but he didn’t seem to be there anymore.
Did I turn him off somehow? Or was it just some silly game to kiss me and make me act like a stupid school girl, falling all over myself for my teacher’s attention.
I suddenly felt like such a fool.
Never in my life had I acted so recklessly, especially not with a man who could easily ruin my reputation within the community and my own family.
It was like Evan had a spell on me.
And I had almost allowed it to go too far.
“He’s got a condo there, honey and a career and a life,” mom reminded me. “He probably has a girlfriend too whom he is eager to see.”
As if the wound wasn’t already deep enough, it twisted to the bone with those words.
I could feel Maya leering at me and I clamped my mouth shut before I could say another word which might incriminate me.
“Why are you so interested, Vy?” Maya called tauntingly. “Do you have a crush on Uncle Evan?”
I cringed and glared at her as our mother groaned.
“That is not funny, Maya!” mom scolded her. “Have some respect for your elders!”
“Hey!” Maya protested as I continued to glower at her. “I’m not the one asking all kinds of questions about Uncle Evan!”
“He’s not our uncle!” I almost screamed, my head ready to explode.
“Vyolet!” my parents yelled, looking up at me with shock. Even Yvette lowered her cell phone from her ear to stare at me in surprise.
Instantly, I hung my head in contrition.
“I’m worried about Alex,” I babbled, trying to lie as fast as possible. “She has already lost so much and to uproot her from her home after losing her parents…”
I trailed off as I was encumbered by a stab of guilt.
I am going straight to hell, I thought with conviction. That lie was my one-way ticket into the seventh circle.
I looked up tentatively and saw my parents nodding.
“You have a very good point, Vy,” mom agreed. “And you do know children after all. Maybe you should meet with Evan and tell him your fears. I will give you his cell number. I’m sure he will appreciate a supportive ear and some advice.”
My mouth fell open and I gaped at my sister who began to laugh as she rolled her eyes heavenward.
“Oh, Vyolet,” Maya mumbled when my parents were distracted. “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Aren’t you the one who said older men are better at everything?” I snapped back, and Maya groaned.
“I meant for me, not you,” she replied. “You have no idea…”
Maya of all people should have known that I had absolutely no clue.
Of the three of us, I was considered the good girl.
How could I possibly have known?
But the truth was, even if I had known, I would have never stopped it from going where it did.
5
Evan
“Uncle Evan, I don’t want to move to Washington,” Alex protested as she followed me around the house, her dark eyes wrought with sorrow. “I don’t want to leave North Carolina!”
“Alex, we have to go back to Washington for a while until I can figure out what we’re going to do,” I told her for what felt like the thirtieth time that day.
I was trying not to lose my patience, knowing that she was only a child, but I didn’t know how else to explain the change to her.
I felt like I had exhausted all my options and despite Oscar and Amelia’s ever standing offer to help.
I wanted to stay too but my home was in Seattle, along with my condo and any semblance of a life I had once had.
Still, it didn’t seem fair to uproot my young niece from the only world she had ever known.
And Vyolet Viera is in Oriental.
I hated myself for allowing the sweet-faced blonde to haunt my thoughts, the memory of her hot breath against my lips.
I shouldn’t have done that, I thought, trying to forget about the plaintive longing in her face.
How long had it been since a woman had looked at me so innocently?
To make matters worse, she had been calling my cell phone and leaving texts, her compassion driving me to cold sweats.
I tried to do the right thing, keeping my distance and ignoring her calls. Amelia had warned me that she had given Vyolet my cell number but how could Oscar’s wife know what was coursing through my mind every time I saw her daughter’s number on my iPhone?
No, I told myself firmly. It’s for the best. I need to get out of Minnesott Beach and go home. When I get back to Seattle, I won’t even remember what Vyolet looks like and I’ll see her again in another ten years.
“Hello?”
I whirled around, almost tripping on my shadow who stood staring defiantly at me with her arms crossed.
Alex also spun to stare at the woman who had entered the half-packed living room.
“Hi?” I said questioningly. “Can I help you?”
“The front door was open,” she informed me. “So I just let myself in.”
“Who are you?” I asked pointedly, and she turned pink with embarrassment.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, stepping over a box of packing peanuts to extend her hand. “I’m Carla Green. I live across the street. I saw you at the memorial, but I didn’t want to bother you then. Of course, I have seen you around, but it never seemed to be a good time to introduce myself…”
She trailed off, her color reddening and I could see she was ill-at-ease.
I took her outstretched palm, offering her a brief smile.
“Evan Collier.”
“Hi Mrs. Green,” Alex piped up. “Is Maddy home?”
“Can I go play with Maddy, Uncle Evan?” my niece asked imploringly, her brown eyes wide.
I stared at her uncertainly.
“It’s fine,” Carla told me quickly. “Alex practically lives at our house…under normal circumstances.”
I eyed her, my lids narrowing, and she seemed to realize her poor wording.
“I just mean that Maddison and Alex are best friends,” she explained quickly.
I chewed on the insides of my cheeks, unsure of how to respond.
“Please Uncle Evan? I haven’t seen Maddy since – ”
“Yes, go,” I said quickly before she could finish her thought. “Just come back for dinner. We’ll go to Cracker Barrel.”
Alex barely acknowledged me as she flung herself out of the living room, out the back door.
I had almost forgotten that Carla was standing there, half turning to return to the packing at hand when she gently cleared her throat.
“I see you’re selling the house,” she said, and I almost started to hear her speak.
“Uh, yeah,” I replied, biting back a more sarcastic answer.