by Shan
“I love you, too, Tangie. You know that I don’t know where I would be sometimes if it wasn’t for you,” Cuba said before she sighed and then took in a deep breath. She slowly slid out of my arms and sat back into the bed before placing her hands over her stomach. “I’m supposed to be happy, but now I’m worried if my baby is gonna come into this world with issues, addicted to drugs, or just all fucked up. I can’t believe that hoe man. I knew all those passes I kept giving her on the strength of Khi and the fear of me getting locked up was gonna catch up to me, but I swear, once I see her, I’m gonna murder her. This bitch was the one that poisoned me, Tangie. She did all this shit to Khi and them ducking and dodging bullets because of her. She is so foul. All the shit that had been going on was because of her.”
“Wow, are you serious, Cuba? What did Khi say? Does he know?”
“Fuck Khi! I’m done with his ass. As matter of fact, take this shit off my fuckin’ finger. I tried to tell him that his baby mama was no good, but he kept bringing her up into my space and around those kids. She done hurt not one, but two of our damn kids, and I can’t be with a man that allows that shit. If he wants his baby mama, then he can have that bitch!” Cuba ranted, as she tossed her ring to the side, and I watched as it nicked the side of the nightstand and then rolled onto the floor.
Cuba sat up in bed, pulled the dress she was wearing over her head, and tossed it to the floor. She then climbed out of bed and sighed as she walked over to the dresser with her back turned against me. I felt bad for her. Damn, it was just so much. Here I was whining and complaining about my nigga doing me dirty when, in reality, I hadn’t been through anything.
Cuba had a man that allowed her to do his time only for her to leave him alone and fall in love with someone that seemed like he couldn’t or just refused to make her priority in their relationship. Because of that, she had suffered a miscarriage the last time she was pregnant, and now this shit.
The thought of Briana purposely pumping drugs into her body was some sick ass shit. More and more, all I could think about was something needed to be done to her, and Cuba should be the one to do it. I would definitely have her back. I had never killed anyone before, and I was sure that Cuba hadn’t either, but some things just couldn’t go unnoticed; this was one of those things.
I felt so bad. So hurt for my cousin, and I went to say something in an attempt to make her feel better, but once I noticed Khi standing in the doorway, I knew then that it was best for me to just be quiet. I wasn’t sure how much he had heard, but the look on his face told me that he’d heard enough. I had never seen him look so pissed a day in my life.
“Hey—“ I started, but Cuba had cut me off.
“Khi, ain’t gonna be satisfied until I start popping my pussy for a real nigga. I guess then he’ll keep his punk ass baby mamas away from me,” Cuba said, as she turned around with a pair of panties in one hand and bra in the other.
I looked at Cuba, and her face was suddenly flushed. I brought my hand up to cover my face and lightly shook my head. Shit was about to get ugly, and I didn’t even know if I should stay or go. I knew Cuba was a big girl and could handle her own affairs, however, I knew that her state of mind was all fucked up, and I could only imagine that Khi’s was too.
No matter how he did my girl, I could tell that he loved her. That was without a doubt. I had never seen him love anyone the way that he loved Cuba, and although Briana got away with shit here and there, he didn’t love her the way that he loved Cuba. I was sure about that.
“What’s up, bro,” I said, cautiously.
I watched as he inched his way into the room with his hands tucked deep into his pockets. His jaw clenched before he looked down at me and nodded his head. I wasn’t sure, but I could swear that I had seen splatters of blood around the collar of his shirt and the rim of it. What the fuck was he doing, I wondered, as I looked over at Cuba.
I walked over to her once I saw that her face was covered in tears. Wrapping my arms around her, I allowed her to cry on my shoulder.
“Let me talk to her, Tangie,” Khi said, and I nodded as I pulled away from Cuba and kissed her on the forehead.
“No, you can say what you have to say in front of her,” Cuba boldly stated, and I shook my head letting her know that it was cool.
Khi sucked his teeth, and I knew what that meant. I dated a Prince brother so that nigga was angry and was doing his best to hold his tongue. I looked back at him then back at Cuba before I kissed her once more.
“Just call me, okay, if you need me, but I’ll be over here first thing in the morning,” I told her, as I stepped away and turned to leave. I stopped in front of Khi, and although I was mad at his ass for what Briana had done, I knew that he wasn’t the one that had done it to her. I loved him like a brother still. I got up on the tips of my toes and kissed him on the cheek. “You got blood on your shirt.”
“A’ight, tell Cass I’ll holla at him in the morning,” Khi said, brushing over what I had said, but I could tell that what I had said had made him a little nervous. I nodded and looked back at Cuba once more before I walked out of the room. The moment I closed the door, I heard Khi’s voice booming through the walls.
“The fuck did you just say?”
Chapter 3
Cuba
It was funny how Beyoncé’s track “Irreplaceable” played in my head at this very moment while I looked at Khi standing in front of me with tears in my eyes. I didn’t even know why the fuck I was still here with this nigga. I mean, when things were good, they were good, but damn, when they were bad, it really triumphed every good moment we ever had. I loved Khi, I really did, but how much was I gonna have to take from Briana before he finally got the picture that the bitch wasn’t shit.
Everything I had said was true to how I felt. I could get another nigga if I wanted. Sadly, I wanted his ass, but it was nothing for me to walk away and get cuffed by someone else. He couldn’t appreciate me, and apparently, I was never gonna come first when it came to his hoe ass baby mamas. It was all good, though. Sometimes, you had to see what it was like to be treated like shit by a nigga you loved more than yourself just so you could appreciate when a nigga that was willing to love you enough for the both of you came along. Khi better stop playing. If he thought that he wasn’t replaceable, then he had better think again.
“The fuck did you just say?” Khi roared, and I stepped back away from him.
I shook my head and tried to get into the bathroom, but Khi was on my ass, grabbing me, and yoking me up. I looked up at him, and I could see pain in his eyes, but what the fuck was this nigga hurting about? Nobody had done shit to him. I was the one that had heroin pumped in my damn body while I was pregnant with his damn seed. He didn’t have a right to be hurt. He should’ve prevented it, but because he hadn’t, I could never forgive him for this.
“Let me go, Khi! Put me down!” I screamed and tried to fight my way out of his grasp. He held on to me tight staring into my eyes. I averted my attention away from him knowing that looking at him too long would cause me to wither underneath him. I had to be strong and stay strong. Briana had to pay and so did Khi. I didn’t know just yet what I was gonna do to that bitch Briana, but Khi was gonna lose me for the shit she had done. What better lesson could I teach him than to walk away and show him that he had lost the greatest thing that he ever had.
“Don’t fuckin’ play with me, Cuba! Don’t! You say some ol’ disrespectful shit like that again, I swea’ to God!”
“You swea’ to God what? The thought of me giving another nigga my attention bothers you or something? I mean, you don’t think that the fact that Briana always being number one, when it comes to me and her, bothers me?”
“That bitch ain’t number one, and you know that! I been cut Briana off and been making sure she stayed in her fuckin’ place!”
“So how the fuck did she end up there tonight, Khi? Why was she even there? You knew you were gonna ask me to marry you, so why did she have to be there to share that moment with
us only for her to turn around and destroy it?” I said, and Khi sighed and swallowed back.
I took in a deep breath as he loosened the hold that he had around me. My eyes went to his and then quickly to the blood specs that was splattered across the top of his shirt. I didn’t know what that was about, but I quickly scanned my eyes over his body, and he didn’t look to be hurt.
Shit, there you go caring about this nigga; I said to myself, as I rolled my eyes and jerked away from him. Again, Khi yanked me up, and as I tried to get away from him, he grabbed my hand, and that was when he noticed my engagement ring was missing. Shit, fuck that ring. He could go and put it on Briana’s finger. I just bet he didn’t do shit to her but give her a slap on the ass and tell her how she had better not do it again. He was always letting that hoe slide! Ughhh! I thought, as I took in a deep breath and tried to keep from socking Khi in his damn eye.
“Where the hell is your ring?” Khi asked and I ignored him.
“If I lose this baby, Khi, or it comes out with something wrong, then ughhh… she was the one that poisoned me! She was responsible for that robbery… she did all that shit! I told you that hoe was poison, and you let that hoe poison me and kill our baby. Now what? We gonna lose this one, too…because of you?”
“What… how you know she did all of that? Who told you that?” Khi said, as he stumbled over his words.
“Look at you… ready to fuckin’ defend her. Damn! Khi, just let me go. I’m about to shower and leave. I can’t take this. I am done. It’s over. Don’t call me… don’t come looking for me. Just let me go, Khi,” I told him, as I pulled back and went into the bathroom.
I walked over to the shower, pulled the glass door open, turned on the hot water, and stepped out of my bra and panties. I tested the water before I stepped inside and allowed the hot water to penetrate my skin. Without any warning, I just broke down and cried allowing all the pain I felt to escape from my lips. I didn’t understand why bad shit had to keep happening to me. How was I gonna deal with what Briana did to me? Was I gonna be a drug addict… I mean, it was how Briana said she got hooked. Someone had forced her into the shit just like she had forced it into me. I was strong and could take a lot, but damn, could I take this? What about my unborn? Oh my God; so much was running through my mind right now that it just started to feel overwhelming.
I gripped my hands on the walls of the shower and just allowed the water to pour down on me as my tears mixed with the drizzle. I felt the cold breeze as Khi opened the shower door and stood on the outside. I looked at the man that I was willing to love without no limits and was crushed all over again. He didn’t understand that, because if he did, he would’ve made sure that nothing came in between our love.
When Khi stepped into the shower, I stepped away from him, almost as if his touch disgusted me. In a sense, it did. The thought of him touching my naked body caused me to cringe simply because those same hands once touched a woman that had caused me so much misery.
“Put this shit back on,” Khi said, as the water from the shower fell onto his face. He was still fully clothed and looking like a maniac as he stood there getting soak from the hot water. I threw my hands up to let him know not to touch me, but he wasn’t trying to hear that. He snatched me up so hard and forced the ring back onto my finger that I thought he was going to break it.
I started to hit Khi over and over again as more liquid pain spilled from my eyes. The blows I was landing on him wasn’t no weak ass slaps either; I was punching the shit out of him, and he stood there and took it. A few hits landed on his face, and he shut his eyes as I assaulted him, allowing me to release all my anger onto him.
Eventually, I got tired and was about to fall when he reached for me. I didn’t even have it in me to fight him once he pulled me into his chest and covered my body with his. For a moment, he held on to me tightly before he picked me up from the floor of the shower. I wrapped my legs around his waist and just laid my head onto his shoulder.
“Babe, I can’t take you leaving me. Man, I fucked up when it came to Briana, but you know I love you, and I never meant for any of this shit to happen. What the fuck I’mma do without you?” Khi said into my ear, and I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to zone him out. He knew how to get to me, but I couldn’t let him. I needed his ass to suffer on the inside just like I was.
“You need to see what it’s like, so when your next woman comes along, you’ll appreciate her more,” I said, as I sniffed and took in a deep breath.
“Stop talking like that. I asked you to marry me, and you told me yes; you can’t take that shit back. You ‘bout to be my wife…’bout to have my seed, and I’mma make sure you give birth to a healthy baby boy. This shit that happened today is nothing you ever have to worry about. I got you baby. You, Sky, and Bry are everything to me, and I promise you that, from here on out, I’m a live for the three of you and Khian Jr when he comes. You got my word, but I promise you, Cuba, if you leave, I’mma fall the fuck apart, and I know that shit won’t be good for nobody. You the only thing I got in my life that balances me out. You gotta stick by my side. Forgive me,” Khi pleaded. He kissed me on my ear, and I tried to pull away from him again, but it wasn’t like I could go anywhere.
“You ain’t gonna keep that promise, Khi, and why wasn’t you living for us to begin with? I don’t wanna do this no more. I’m so tired. I just want to be happy. I don’t wanna lose no more babies, but truthfully, I don’t know if I even want to keep this one. What if it comes out all fucked up now?” I questioned, and I could feel Khi’s chest rising and falling.
He backed me against the wall of the shower, using the wall to hold me up. He used his hands to grip my face and forced me to look him in his eyes.
“He’s not gonna come out fucked up so stop thinking like that. You’re gonna keep my baby. Stop fuckin’ playing with me. You not done, and you not going nowhere. Ain’t gonna be no more of that shit, Cuba. You can’t fuckin’ run away from me and be living all in a separate spot every time we have problems.”
“The only problem we have is the same damn problem!” I yelled and tried to turn my head away from him. He was pissing me off acting like I was overreacting or some shit.
“Which I fuckin’ handled. Like I said, you ain’t gotta worry about nothing. You good. Get them thoughts out your head. You hear me?” Khi asked, and he leaned in to kiss me when there was a knock at the bathroom door.
He gently placed me on the floor before looking over his shoulder and then back at me. He signaled for me to stay put as he pushed the shower door open and stepped out. Treading water everywhere, Khi walked over to the door that led to our bedroom and opened it up.
“Bruh, the kid is woke,” I overheard Cassidy say, knowing that he was referring to Dae. “But that nigga Tae’s little sister called and said that Tae locked he and Dae into the room, and she thinks Tae is about to kill that nigga.”
“Fuck! How the fuck did he even get in the damn room? They was supposed to make sure nobody got inside his fuckin’ room!” Khi yelled, and his voice boomed, practically causing the glass of the shower to vibrate. I quickly turned off the water and tried to exit before Khi had left, but it was too late. He was gone, leaving me behind just so he could tend to other people’s problems. Khi was gonna learn, because when he came back, I wasn’t going to be here.
Chapter 4
Daelan Prince
Shit. Last I remembered, I went out not even fighting for my life. I took them blows and welcomed death into my heart. I no longer wanted to be here. Fuck did I have to live for. My seed that was mine didn’t even know me, and the little nigga that I raised as my own for years wasn’t even mine but belonged to a sucka ass nigga that violated me as a youngin’. Shit, the kid was fucked up in the head. My mind was always on one hundred, and those constant thoughts kept me into some shit. As crazy as it might sound, the fucked up shit I did to someone else always made me feel better about the fucked up shit that was done to me.
That was th
en, though. I don’t know what the hell happened, but all I know is that, not long ago, I woke up, and for the first time ever, I had a clear conscience. It was like I had the best sleep of my life. My mental had always felt restless on a regular. I would wake up from a sleep with a pistol in one hand and reaching for a cup of lean with the other. I stayed tilted, leant as much as possible, because it was just easier to cope that way.
This time, the moment I opened my eyes, I was looking for my fam. The kid was on my mind something heavy. Seeing DJ and his mama, Amber, was tugging at my heart something serious, and I would’ve preferred seeing them standing in front of me rather than that nigga Tamar.
I could see the heat in this cat’s eyes as the muscles in his neck flexed. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed the IV pole and flung it in his direction. It clipped him, giving me time to climb out of the bed. Surprisingly, I wasn’t in any pain, which was weird considering I remember the fire I felt each time that nigga shoved that makeshift shank into me.
Tamar and I stood toe-to-toe in the middle of my hospital room giving each other death stares. Not even gonna lie, if this had been back then, I would’ve let this nigga take me out. I knew he was the one that sent them pussies after me when I was locked up, and I guess being that it didn’t work, he was here to handle me himself. I was gonna give him that action though.
I swung on Tamar first, and he dodged the fuck out of it and popped me two times in my rib cage like he was a professional boxer. That shit had me out of breath, instantly, but I threw a few back, with only two connecting with his jaw line. Tamar was quick with his comeback, hitting me a few to the face, and I could feel my shit instantly swelling up. I started going crazy on his ass knowing that, if he caught me slipping, he was gonna handle the fuck out of me. He had the kid fucked up though.
That nigga was still salty about his sister. Hell yea, I was wrong, but shit, I was a fucked up ass nigga back then. I had love for Taylana for reasons that didn’t even have anything to do with her. Now, she was pregnant with the kid, and at this point, I didn’t even want nothing to do with her. She had held a nigga down when I was running from this punk ass brother; even when I was locked up for that little bit of time, she stayed sending me care packages. She was a down ass chick, but I was good on her.