by Shan
“That bitch still meddling, huh?” I asked him, referring to that hoe DeeDee.
“She’s the one that sent twelve to the crib and shit. They had her name all over the warrant like they wanted me to know that it was her,” Khi said, and I handed them the blunt and grabbed me a shot glass from the bar area. I picked up a bottle of Cîroc and filled the glass up to the rim. I tossed back the shot and then poured me another one before I walked back to where Khi was standing.
“I don’t trust Tramell,” Khi said, and I had already known that this was coming. That night when we ran up in that spot and bodied them little Jamaican niggas, Khi changed the plan and told me not to let Tramell know. He didn’t tell me why, but it didn’t take shit for me to see that he was feeling some type of way about the goonie. He knew all he had to do was say word with me, and I would knock that nigga off and wouldn’t think twice about it. That was Dae’s friend. Them niggas grew up together, but he wasn’t shit to me.
“What you trying to do? Ain’t no need in thinking on it too long. We got too much major shit coming up to be giving snakes a pass. If you feeling some type of way, then let’s handle now,” I commented, and he passed me back the blunt, and I took a pull.
“Just thinking back about a lot of shit, and I know for a fact that that night if I wouldn’t have changed shit up, we would’ve walked straight into an ambush. Them niggas was waiting on me and you to come through that front door. That’s why them two little niggas ran out the way they did looking all surprised and shit.”
“Fuck it. That nigga ain’t shit to me. I’ll pop his ass the next time I see him.”
“Pop who?” Dae asked, and I turned around to see a frown on his face. He was shirtless with a pair of gray sweats on and some fluffy ass house shoes on his feet.
“I see you back on that drank again,” I said, as I nodded to the Styrofoam cup that was in his hand.
“Not as heavy…but what the fuck y’all talking about? Who you gon’ pop Cass?” Dae asked, and I looked at Khi.
“Tramell,” Khi said, and I took a pull off the blunt and blew a cloud of smoke in the air.
“Fuck you talking about? What the fuck he do to you?” Dae asked getting all hostile.
“I don’t trust him. He got to go,” Khi told him, and I chuckled.
“Why you getting in your feelings and shit? Your mans is a lil’ suspect bruh.”
“Fuck you, Cass. You don’t even know that nigga, but I know he solid. That’s been my homey since middle, and I ain’t never had to question that nigga bout nothing. He been A-1 since day 1, fuck you mean?” Dae said, and I shrugged.
“I don’t know that nigga, and if the bruh say he don’t trust him, then I don’t trust him. You riding with that nigga over us?” I asked Dae, and he tossed his cup to the floor and walked over to me. He stood toe to toe with me, and I handed the blunt off to Khi before I stared Dae down.
“I said he muthafuckin’ solid. It should never be no question about who I’m riding with, but don’t ever ask me to choose between y’all and a nigga I know will take a bullet for every last one of us. He done bodied and buried niggas for the sake of the fam. His bitch got killed behind the fam—”
“Which is why I think he feeling some type of way,” Khi interjected. He took a pull off the weed and pointed to Dae. “That’s your mans, though, so I’ll leave that nigga next to you, but as long as you down with him, then I ain’t fucking with you on a business tip. Shit is hot. Police on me about kidnapping that bitch Briana and shit because of a bitch named DeeDee that I ain’t never even heard of. I’m hearing shit about her still in the streets putting my name out there saying that I did something to her cousin.”
“Fuck that got to do with Tramell,” Dae asked, and I sucked my teeth.
“Nothing, Dae, don’t even worry about it bruh. But you heard what the fuck I said. Keep that nigga away from around here, feel me?” Khi said, and he slapped hands with me before he walked away.
“That nigga is fam, Khi! He solid,” Dae called after him, and I looked him in his face. “Your ass just wanna kill some damn body. Fuck out my face.”
“Nigga, you hopped in my face like you wanted to do something. You know you can’t whoop me,” I told him and chuckled.
“Chmmp, I’m not about to fight your big ass. You and KaeDee always wanna fight and shit,” Dae said and walked away.
“That’s what I thought. Pussy!” I called out before I turned around to leave. I took my phone out to see that it was a little after 4 pm. Tangie usually left her shop around 6, so I still had time to swing through and holla at her before she went home.
***
When I walked into She is Beauty, I looked around and spotted Tangie at a shampoo bowl washing one of her client’s hair. She brought her head up and our eyes met. I shook my head, because I still got that feeling when I looked into Tangie’s eyes like she was the one for me, but I knew that we would never work. I felt like I would never be able to be myself around her. Tangie stayed in my shit about every damn thing. If she wasn't bitching about me doing time in the streets, then she stayed accusing me of fucking around with some slut.
Now that Tamar had plugged us in heavily, I knew that my time away from home was about to increase more than ever right along with my pockets. With more money, came more bitches, which added more problems. Tangie wouldn't be able to handle it, and I wasn't about to let her drive my ass crazy. Now that I think back on the past, and why I stayed in another hoe’s bed, it was because I couldn't stand coming home.
Don't get it twisted, I loved the fuck outta my shawty, but her need for me to be this perfect guy for her led me to other bitches. None of the other hoes I fucked with required shit but a hard dick and for a nigga like me, I enjoyed the simple things in life. Simple is what led me to Jourdin. All she wanted was time and for me to fuck her good every now, and then and she was straight. Jourdin took me how she could get me, and she never complained when I came up short of her expectations. I wasn't glorifying the side chick life, because it would hurt me like hell to see my daughter in that role, however sometimes chicks like Jourdin was needed.
Niggas wanted to feel appreciated, even with all the bullshit we bring, but I never felt that I was appreciated with Tangie. She thanked me for gifts and shit like that, but never thanked me for getting out here and risking my life.
Always complained about why I was in the streets, but never complained about the streets taking care of her. I could go on and on, but I wouldn’t, cause that shit was only causing me to heat with anger. Shit had me hot that the woman I wanted to be with, I couldn’t, because she consistently pushed me the fuck away.
I walked into Tangie’s office and sat down in the chair that sat in front of her desk. I wanted to come here to apologize to her face about me missing her appointment, but I knew that, once she found out that I had missed it to spend time with my daughter, that apology wasn’t going to mean shit to her. But fuck it though, Cassie was going to be in my life, and so was her mother. Thinking about Jourdin had me wondering if I was wrong about Tangie. When I looked into her eyes today, it was something there that had me rethinking what I ever saw in Tangie. Let me find out I had spent all these years giving my thoughts to one woman, when all along, I had a jewel in my baby mama.
I had grown up since prison and was mature enough to not give a fuck about what Jourdin had once done to get money. The same way I had looked at her differently because of her lifestyle was the same way Tangie had looked at me. It took Jourdin speaking on that shit for me to realize it though.
“Hey,” Tangie said, as she stepped inside of her office and closed the door behind her.
“What’s up, Ma? How are you?” I asked her just, as she sat down behind her desk. That baby had thickened her short ass up making her butt poke out a little more. I licked my lips and tried to stay mad at her.
“I’m good. Sad that I didn’t see you today. What happened? You promised you would be there.”
“Sorry. I had
scheduled some other shit at the same time, and it just slipped my mind. It won’t happen again. What did they say?”
“They said that everything is good. I’m further along than I thought and he or she will be here this summer. I’m excited…I wasn’t really before.”
“What? Why not? I’ve been excited since I realized your ass was pregnant. You not happy to be carrying my seed?”
“Knowing that I was gonna have to go through it alone caused all the excitement to leave, but I guess I’m getting over it,” Tangie said, and I sucked my teeth.
“Why you do shit like that? Why the fuck you gotta try to make me feel bad about every little thing. I missed one appointment and you trying to make it like I’m gonna miss all of them, or if I ain’t even gonna be in its life, period.”
“That’s not what I said, Cass,” Tangie said and I sighed.
“That’s what it sound like you trying to say to me and that shit pissing me off. It don’t matter about all the good shit I muthafuckin’ do, but the minute I fuck up, you gotta make sure to point that shit out. Your ass is ungrateful. You don’t appreciate shit, and that’s why I just don’t give a fuck no more.”
“I appreciate everything that you do, Cass. You—”
“Like what? Name one muthafuckin’ thing you appreciate ‘cause you don’t do shit but fuckin’ whine and complain,” I told Tangie, and she looked sad as she stared down at her desk.
“Why are you cussing at me? You know I hate when you do that.”
“Cause your ass be pissing me off. I just came to tell you that I was sorry for missing your appointment. I fucked up. It won’t happen again. Just let me know when I need to be there the next time,” I told her and stood up from the chair. I stretched my arms and yawned and then walked towards her door. “I met my daughter…the one with Jourdin. Her name is Cassie.”
“Wow, so she is yours? When did you find this out?”
“A few days ago…I’ll see you later, a’ight,” I said, purposely, not mentioning taking Cassie and Jourdin to Chuck E Cheese today. Some things were better left unsaid, and I knew that it would only hurt Tangie and have her thinking I had intentionally missed her appointment to be with the kid.
I walked out of the shop and all the way down the block to my truck. This fucked up parking Tangie had going had me wanting to find her a new location that came with better parking. She had a lot of damn business coming in and out her spot for shit to be as hectic as this. I guess, at the time she got her shop, she didn’t know how big it would grow and had only gotten what she could afford. Shawty was doing her thang though, and I could never discount that.
When I made it to my truck, I walked around to the driver’s side and was ready to hop inside until I spotted the Jamaican flag that sat underneath my windshield. I pulled my pistol from my back, cocked it back, and looked around. The shit wasn’t there before I had gone in, and I wasn’t even inside that long, so whoever had dropped it off could still be in the area.
I took my cell phone out my pocket while still checking my surroundings. I hopped out of the street and back on the sidewalk while bringing the phone up to my ear.
“Hello,” Tangie answered.
“Keep the door to your shop locked at all times, and don’t let nobody in if you don’t know them,” I told her.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, her voice panicky.
“Yea, straight. Let me know when you get off. I think I’m gonna start taking you home, too.”
“Okay, I leave here around six.”
“Cool, I’ll wait,” I said and hung up the phone. I leaned against the brick of Tangie’s shop and waited until she got off. Yea, they caught my attention. I was on alert now. I dare a nigga to try me.
Chapter 12
Cuba
1 week later…
“Okay, that one is bad Cuba,” Tangie said to me, as I stepped out of the dressing room and up onto the little stage-like stool they had in the middle of the room. The stage was directly in front of a mirror, and I stared at it with my back turned to the ladies. I couldn’t help but blush as I looked myself over in the pretty whisper pink wedding dress that hugged my body from head to toe, except for the train that flowed at my feet. This one was bad, and I was almost sold on it.
Khi gave me a month to get our wedding together saying that he wanted to have it done as soon as possible, because he was eager for me to be his wife, and because he knew that, if we waited too long, my stomach would be huge, and I would be complaining about having nothing to wear. I had to admit, the nigga was right though, because at only two months along, I was already feeling bloated and like a form-fitting dress was probably not a good idea.
“Turn around and let me see it from the front,” Tangie said, and I slowly turned in their direction.
She and Amber sat in the viewing area with drinks in their hand, Amber with a glass of wine, and Tangie with Cider. I had never really hung with Amber before and had only had brief conversations with her whenever Khi and I would go over to KaeDee’s. Khi had suggested that I spend more time getting to know her and even wanted me to ask her if she wanted to be part of the wedding party. I thought she would refuse and look at me funny considering me and Dae’s history, but she was really open to it and had even cried a little. She said that she had been lonely since Deonna passed away and wanted to reach out to me, but didn’t know if I hated her, because of Dae.
I didn’t hate anyone affiliated with Dae. Shit, that would mean I had to hate my nigga, and we all know that I loved me some Khi. I just disliked Dae, and it pissed me off that everyone was acting like I was supposed to just accept him with open arms after what he had done to my sister. They all should be happy that I didn’t turn snitch when it came down to his court case, and just because I didn’t, didn’t mean I wanted to fuck with him. As long as he stayed away from me, then I wouldn’t fuck with him.
This whole thing with him being in his son’s life was just out of line to me, but Khi felt as if BJ needed his father. He had Khi, so he damn sure didn’t need Dae, but whatever. I just know that my baby better not end up hurt or Khi could forget he ever meant anything to me, because the line would have been crossed, and there would be no fixing it.
“That’s the one boo. You need to tell them to alter the front a little in case you grow a pudge between now and the date. I had a homegirl that had little strings added, so she can tighten and loosen it up to fit the way she wanted,” Amber said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked down at my dress and fell in love with it all over again.
“I’m glad you came out with us, Amber. You a really cool chick. We need to do this more,” Tangie told her and Amber smiled.
“I would love that. I can’t wait until I can get out this wheelchair. I hate to be slowing y’all down,” Amber said, and I looked at her and frowned.
“Girl you don’t be slowing nobody down. Shit, we be trying to keep up with you. When do you get out of your wheelchair? I thought Khi was telling me that you were paralyzed,” I said and she nodded.
“That’s what they were originally telling me. I guess to keep me from being disappointed in case I really didn’t get any feeling in my legs back. But over the past few months, I’ve been slowly learning how to walk again. I go to therapy three times a week. It used to take me thirty minutes to take a couple of steps, but now, I can walk a good distance before getting tired. I’m coming along, just slowly,” she said, and I smiled. That was good; shit, I knew being refined to a wheelchair had to be depressing. Amber was a very pretty girl, and after all she’s been through, she deserved to be able to get up and live her life.
“Maybe I can get out the house more and find me a good man,” Amber laughed, and I nodded in agreement.
“Hell yea, a good man will triumph all the bullshit you’ve been through with Dae’s ass,” I told her and watched how her lips curled up.
“Funny, he’s been trying to get back with me. I don’t know how I feel about that. He’s the only man I’ve ever
been with…since I was like a damn kid, and it’s crazy that I still love him, even after all this. I laid on the floor dying because of him, and he walked out on me and my son. I don’t understand how I can still love him after that,” Amber said, as tears slid down her face. I sighed, and Tangie stood up and walked over to her.
“Love will definitely have you turning a blind eye to some of the shit that nobody would understand but you. Trust me, I’ve accepted and turned a blind eye to a lot behind a man that I love too,” I told her, as I turned back around to look in the mirror.
I nodded my head after looking myself over again knowing that this was the one that I was going to choose. I pulled the tag in my hand and looked down at the price, and my eyes bucked open. I knew that Khi said that I didn’t have a price limit, but I wasn’t that type of chick that would suck my man dry just because he said it was okay. Plus, I knew that Khi was only looking to spoil me because he had fucked up when it came to Briana, but he didn’t have to do that. I only wanted to him to do better, and as long as he did, I was a happy chick.
I was so glad that Khi suggested that I start my interior decorating firm. He knew how much I loved decorating, and putting my time into that, along with the wedding and kids, I didn’t have time to think about anything else. I was happy, and I was enjoying my life; as long as it was like this, nothing else mattered.
I looked up into the mirror again to make sure that I was absolutely sure about this dress when I caught someone staring back at me. He leaned against the frame of the door that led to the room that we stood in. I had never seen him before, but the way he seductively stared at me had me wondering who he was. He was tall and well-built from what I could see. His facial features made him a very handsome man to look at; dark chocolate skin, deep brown eyes, a neatly lined goatee, and from what I could see, his teeth were straight. He had neatly tamed dreads that he had pulled back into a ponytail.
Our eyes were fixed on one another. No lie, he was sexy, and I was caught up in his gaze for a long ass time before I started to feel guilty. Here I was, trying a wedding dress, and preparing to marry my soon-to-be husband, and I was lusting after another man. Shamefully, I dropped my head and cursed myself for the thoughts that I was having.