by Risk, Mona
To think of it, planning to be part of his grandsons’ lives had an advantage. He had a perfectly good reason to often fly to Kentucky and visit Barbara. Would Barbara ever accept him as he was?
The sixteen-hour drive turned into a two-day trip, encompassing countless breaks every two to three hours on the road, and a ten hour overnight at a motel.
“You see, it wasn’t that long,” Barbara said when he finally pulled in the driveway of her imposing two-story brick house.
Lou remembered his company policy and kept his tongue in his mouth.
“Honk, Lou. I see lights in the house. My daughter and son-in-law must be here. They’ll come and help us.” Relief and joy rang in her voice, and pinched his heart.
Granted she was pleased to be home after the long trip, but didn’t she have fun with him? At least in Paris. Hmm, they had another pair of twins to drag along over there. One day, he promised himself, he’d take her on a real vacation—by herself— and he’d make sure they both forget their phones.
Lights illuminated the driveway and front of the house and a young couple came out of the door. “Mom, so glad you’re finally home.” The young blonde woman threw her arms around Barbara’s neck. “We all missed you so much. The boys can’t wait to see you.”
“Heather darling, I missed you all. And you too, Jeff.”
Barbara hugged the tall man who kissed her on the cheek. “So good to have you back, Mom.”
Lou stood next to Monica who’d climbed out of the van and observed the reunion. It was her first experience of a real family bonding. She leaned against him and he wrapped his arm around her back. “I hope they accept us, Dad,” she whispered, once more expressing his own worries.
“They will.” I hope. He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “But you have your own family, honey, your dad and your sons. We are a real family too.”
Barbara turned toward them. “Lou, Monica, I want you to meet my daughter number three, Heather, and her husband, Jeff. Their boys are home with the other grandparents.”
Heather came forward and hugged Monica. “I can’t wait to see your babies.” She smiled at Lou. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Roland.”
Following Barbara’s good example, Lou hugged Heather and shook hands with Jeff. “I’ll take the luggage,” the young man said.
“And I’ll take a baby,” Heather added as she opened the door of the van, and unbuckled a crying baby. “You’re so cute.”
Barbara freed the other twin and carried him against her chest, and then she clasped Monica’s hand. “Come, sweetie. Come and discover your new home.”
Chapter Thirteen
A moment later, Lou had the pleasure of seeing the picture he’d imagined a hundred times—Barbara in her warm cozy kitchen.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee or a drink?” she asked when the noise around them abated. Each carrying a screaming baby, Heather had ushered Monica upstairs to help her settle. Jeff kept going back and forth to the van to bring in the luggage.
“A Scotch would be great.”
“Help yourself. This is my bar.” She motioned to the granite isle separating the kitchen from the family room. “You’ll find Johnnie Walker, Chivas Regal, J&B. I’ll have a glass of Vermouth. The glasses are in the glass-door cabinet.”
He fixed both drinks and handed her the sweet wine.
“So how do you like my kitchen, Lou?”
“I love it and I love seeing you in it.” He raised his smart phone and clicked a picture.
“No fair. I’m a mess after the long trip.” She chuckled and combed her hair with her fingers.
“You’re always lovely, my darling. And I really like your kitchen.” His gaze surveyed her cozy haven of maple-colored cabinets, huge extra-deep sink, elaborate faucets, and everywhere the fancy gold and brown granite countertops. “Actually it’s more modern than I assumed, with the middle isle and the bar.”
“I had it remodeled a year after David passed. It was one of Roxanne’s crazy ideas to distract me when Dr. Madelyn declared that I was becoming depressed. Heather and I spent months touring stores to find exactly what would suit me. Anyway I was so busy with the mess the workers created that I forgot to cry.”
An incredible peace settled in Lou’s heart. Thanks to Roxanne he’d be able to enjoy Barbara’s haven without being reminded that her late husband had dwelt there. “I always said Roxanne is my smartest employee. Even when I feel like throwing her out of my office for her sharp tongue.”
“Yes, I know the feeling.” Barbara chuckled. “Actually your Monica has the same character.
“You think so? I’d be delighted if Monica turns half as contented with her life as Roxanne.”
“Give her time. Eventually she will change.”
“Under your influence, I’m sure something good will come out.” He raised his glass again. “To your kitchen and our beautiful hostess.” How he loved sharing a drink in her haven.
“This is my desk with my laptop on it, and above it a few shelves with cooking books. As you see, I practically live here. If the weather is good I open this glass door that leads to the patio.” She pushed a switch and lit the whole backyard.
“You also have a Jacuzzi on the patio? Great idea.”
“The patio and hot tub were added during the remodeling.”
“Wonderful.” Lou had another satisfied smile. “Next time I come to visit, I’ll bring a bathing suit.” Sharing a drink and a relaxing moment with Barbara in the hot tub would be a piece of paradise.
“That’d be lovely. Let me give you a tour of the house.”
He followed her to the family room. His gaze scanned the room and rested on the framed picture of David and Barbara in formal attire, and another in bathing suits at the beach, and another of their whole family at one of the girls’ graduations.
“Nice family pictures.” He averted his eyes and walked straight out of the room with too many memories of the man he wanted to replace in Barbara’s heart.
She showed Lou the dining room and living room on each side of the foyer, and a closed French door. “This is the office. The girls used it as a study place.” Ah, David’s former office. She didn’t open the door and he followed her upstairs.
“What a big house. How many bedrooms?” he said for the sake of saying something and pushing David’s ghost out of their thoughts.
“We have six bedrooms. The master bedroom and formal guest room have their own private bathrooms. The other rooms shared two bathrooms.” They paused at the first door near the stairs. “This is the guest room. It used to be Roxanne’s room. Heather has prepared it for you. You won’t be surprised to find a map of the world on the wall, a big rotating globe, and an Atlas. My daughters like to use their former bedrooms when they come home.”
Chatting and laughter emanated from the hallway. Barbara preceded him to the room where Monica and Heather were changing the babies.
“We’re done here. Mom, the dinner is warm, but Jeff and I have to leave right away. My in-laws are babysitting.”
“Heather, Jeff, thank you so much for all the help,” Lou said. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning.” He shook hands with Jeff and kissed Heather on the cheek.
“But we’ll see you soon I hope,” Heather said with a glance toward her mother.
“Yes, Lou will be back for our Mother’s Day’s celebration. All my kids and grandkids will be here, and my sister and her family. It’s a fun day with a lot of delicious food. You’ll meet everyone.”
“I won’t miss it for the world. I haven’t celebrated Mother’s Day since my mother died twenty years ago. When is it exactly?”
“Second Sunday of May,” Barbara supplied with a happy smile.
Lou checked the calendar on his smart phone. His heart sunk and his smile disappeared. It was the day before the PM’s interview. He’d be in Israel from the Thursday before for meetings and official dinners.
“Any problems?” Barbara asked with a weak voice.
“It’s the s
ame weekend as the PM’s interview. I can’t postpone it again.” He clutched both hands around his phone, ready to smash it on the floor.
“No, you can’t.” Her wide eyes riveted on his, begging him to deny his previous words.
Silence hovered in the bedroom. Even the babies abstained from crying as if they too were shocked by their grandfather’s desertion on such an important family reunion—Lou’s first taste of a real, big loving family.
Her face blank, Barbara stared straight ahead.
“I’m so sorry. You know how much I wanted to be present.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” Her voice quivered and she sighed.
“Can he take a rain check?” Monica suggested. “Maybe we can repeat the celebration for Father’s Day in June.”
“We stopped celebrating Father’s Day seven years ago,” Heather snapped and Lou felt bad for his daughter’s gaffe. David Ramsay was still honored in his home. His daughters wouldn’t insult his memory by celebrating the day for an intruder who couldn’t make an effort to please their mother.
Barbara wrapped an arm around Monica’s shoulders. “Of course, you’ll celebrate your father, sweetie, and we don’t need an official holiday to have fun together.” She hastened to restore peace with her sweet smile. “I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities for a rain check, Lou. Now, Heather and Jeff, you better leave before your kids get impatient. Thank you for preparing supper.”
After they left, she invited Lou and Monica to come downstairs for dinner.
“I’m not hungry. I’d rather sleep right away,” Monica said with her bad-days voice.
“What about you, Lou?”
“Nothing for me.” He couldn’t swallow even a bite.
Barbara and Monica probably resented him at the moment. It wasn’t his fault, but somehow he’d managed to mess up Monica’s happy arrival in a safe home and Barbara’s joy at preparing a special Mother’s Day celebration with him at her side.
How could he explain that he’d be the one suffering hell while they ate, drank, and laughed on that particular day?
He’d wanted so much to be part of Barbara’s family life—without even offering any commitment. Always generous, she’d tacitly agreed and invited him. But their priorities pulled them in opposite directions. You can’t have it all, you bastard. He cursed himself and the job he’d worshiped all his life.
****
Barbara sat at her kitchen desk, sipping her fifth cup of coffee. After briefly carrying each of the twins and declining breakfast or coffee, Lou had given her and Monica the same quick peck on the cheek and walked out.
Life would go back to its normal routine with Barbara back into her little haven. Except that now her kitchen felt empty, boring, annoying, and Barbara herself had no energy to move from her chair.
Babies’ cries poked through her lethargy. With helpless guests she’d insisted must come here for a better life, Barbara couldn’t abandon them now. “I’m coming.” She ran upstairs to help Monica.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I know you’re upset at Dad, but for a change it’s not this fault,” Monica shook her head with a look too serious for the sassy girl she’d been so far.
“No, it’s not his fault. I don’t resent him. I’m just going to miss him a lot.”
“You fell in love with him.” The mischievous gleam danced in the young mommy’s blue eyes.
“Mind your own business, girl.” Barbara carried a baby and slowly climbed down while holding the banister.
Monica followed with the other twin. “I’m happy for Lou, although he doesn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you, either, but we both need you so badly.”
“You’re such a sweetheart, Monica. Things will improve. You’ll see.” Barbara pasted a cheerful smile on her face and prepared a breakfast for both of them.
At night, Lou called just when she’d finally settled in bed, ready to cry. Hearing his dear voice brought such special warmth to her heart, it almost scared her. Would her happiness depend on his calls from now on?
It seemed so. During the next three weeks, she spent her whole day cooking or helping Monica with the babies, and then waiting impatiently for Lou’s nightly calls. As soon as her cell phone rang, she’d set their framed picture on her night table and stare at it while they chatted and laughed for an hour.
“I’m addicted to our talks, darling,” Lou said, reflecting her own thinking. “I can’t sleep without hearing your voice. Do you know I have your picture in front of me? It gives me the impression you’re next to me.”
“Same thing here, Lou.” She didn’t even bother hiding her feelings. Any idiot could see she was in love with Lou.
She caught Heather talking to Madelyn or Roxanne on the phone and complaining that she was worrying about Mom. “She’s not the same any more. She keeps staring at nothing. Madelyn, you should prescribe something for her before it’s too late.”
Too late for what? Did they think she was losing it? That made her laugh.
“Mom, I’m taking Monica shopping tomorrow. She needs a nice dress for our Mother’s Day party.”
Lou had sent his daughter a big check and arranged for baby supplies to be regularly delivered.
“Go ahead, girls. I’ll be happy to stay with the boys.”
At the end of the day, Monica returned jubilant and modeled her new clothes. “Heather talked me into going to college with her, next September. We’ll go together. I want to take journalism and writing courses.”
“Fantastic. I’m so proud of you.”
“She also encouraged me to write an article about surrogate motherhood and send it to Roxanne for evaluation.”
“Well do your best, especially on the first paragraph. Roxanne has mentioned that she judges her trainees’ competence by their first page.”
Monica was a different person here. No doubt about it. Lou would be pleased whenever he comes. If he ever comes. To forget the deep heartache gnawing at her insides, Barbara threw herself into a frenzy of cooking and baking.
On Thursday night before Mother’s Day Lou called. His stern tone of voice worried her. “What’s wrong?” And then she remembered he’d be traveling soon.
“I’m in the plane. We’ll be leaving any moment. I didn’t want to spoil our conversation last night, but I want to say bye. Have a happy Mother’s Day with your daughters and mine.”
“I can’t be happy without you, Lou.” Why hide her feelings? A woman in love had no pride.
“I’m the most miserable man away from you. I never thought I’d hate my job. This is an interview I’ve dreamed of doing for a long time. But I promise, Barbara, I won’t let work interfere with our relationship after this last trip.” His voice had turned husky. There was a moment of silence, and then he cleared his throat. “I miss you so much. I love you, darling.” Had she imagined his last words?
****
The kids and their families arrived on Friday evening. Tiffany drove in on Saturday evening. Claire showed up last, on Sunday morning. Her fiancé couldn’t come.
“I finally get to know my boss’s bright daughter.” Roxanne hugged the younger woman who stood timidly aside watching her with an admiring gaze. “I heard so much about you.”
“Bad?” Monica’s grimace made them laugh.
“No, a lot of good. Your father who never whispered he had a daughter for years, now can’t stop bragging about his bright daughter and gorgeous grandsons.”
“He does?” Monica’s incredulous smile was priceless but her happiness made up for the rotten feeling roiling in Barbara’s stomach.
“By the way, Monica, I like the article you sent me,” Roxanne said, all professional. “I’ll give you a test now. I want you to rewrite it as if you’re addressing it only to young women between sixteen and twenty-five, and again as if you’re writing it for surrogates’ parents. Can you do that?”
“Yes. I see your point. Yes, I can do it.”
“Of course, you can do it, Ms. Roland. You’re the daughte
r of one of the most brilliant journalists I’ve ever known,” Roxanne said.
Monica beamed and Barbara blessed her daughter for the incentive she’d just given the young woman.
On Sunday, her children and grandchildren, all dressed up for the family gathering bustled in the kitchen, talking at the same time and throwing comments and suggestions.
“It smells so good in your kitchen, Mom.” Tiffany sneaked around and opened the fridge.
“My goodness, you have enough food to feed an army,” Claire lamented. “I’m going to put on ten pounds today.”
“Go to the gym.” Madelyn chuckled and then frowned. “Mom, I don’t understand how you managed to lose weight with all this food around. I’m worried.”
“She’s not eating,” Heather accused. “She keeps saying she’s not hungry.”
“I need to give you a serious checkup, after the holiday.” Dr. Madelyn knew how to annoy her mother with her professional assessment.
“Girls, why don’t you forget about me and mind your business?”
“Anyway, I must say you look superb,” Claire said after examining her mother with a critical eye.
“You’ll look great in the family portrait,” Roxanne added. “The photographer I booked will be here at four o’clock, just before dinner. He’ll take a picture of our happy Mother’s Day celebration.”
“What? When did you come up with this bright idea?” Barbara scowled, not in a mood to smile. This Mother’s Day was one of the worst in her life. Lou was in Israel and hadn’t called since Thursday night. Now she had to make a continuous effort to suppress her tears. How would she smile for the camera when she wanted to curl in her bed and cry?
“We meant it as a surprise. You always said you wanted a family portrait with all our babies. And we’ll include Monica and her twins in the picture. Aren’t you pleased, Mom?” Count on Roxanne to always mess up her mother’s life with her bright ideas.
“You’re all so nice. Like real sisters.” Monica crossed her hands together as the sisters gathered around her and cooed to her babies. Barbara would bet the poor girl had never been in such a joyful gathering before. She herself had always cherished the maddening cacophony bursting around her. But not today.