“We all love because we are lonely, darling. We love because we need, not because we want. She loves you.”
“And you think I love her.” Oksana turned back to where Annie’s Prius had just been.
“I know you do. I know you should go, yes.”
“I was afraid you would say something like that.”
*
Oksana bobbled the potted plant Scooter shoved in her hand.
“You sure you don’t want to sign the card?” he asked as she slammed the Charger door.
“No. I’m good.”
“What kind of guest are you? You’re supposed to bring something to a housewarming, you know, to warm the house.”
“She asked me to come and I’m here. That’s all the warming she gets.” Oksana tried not to punch Scooter when he laughed at her. She shoved the plant back into his hands and slapped him in the back of the head instead.
Scooter howled even louder. “You’re not fooling anyone.”
“Shut up and walk.” Oksana followed Scooter up the front steps of the narrow gray apartment building. The large front door was propped open. Inside they could hear the commotion of the party four stories up. They walked up the stairs, and as they got closer it became clear the real party was on the roof. A sign outside of apartment 308 confirmed it. When they reached the very top, a girl who introduced herself as Annie’s coworker, Esther, pointed them toward a table set with wine and finger foods. Beside it stood Annie. The white Christmas lights lining the railing made her blond hair glow.
“You ready, Iron Woman?” Scooter teased.
“I said, shut up and walk,” Oksana replied.
They picked their way through the guests, over the uneven rooftop. Annie looked amazing. The bandage was gone. Oksana tried not to notice.
“Hey!” Annie hugged Scooter, but when she pulled back, she looked at Oksana with a huge smile. “You came.”
“I wanted to see if you followed any of my remodeling tips,” Scooter said. That he had any part in Annie’s move was news to Oksana, but she didn’t say anything.
“You’ll have to wait. I’m giving tours on the hour.” Annie chuckled.
“Besides, you haven’t kissed me yet.” Megan appeared at Scooter’s side and pulled him down for a few moments of awkward spit swapping. Oksana and Annie looked nervously to each other.
“Hey,” Oksana said,
“I’m glad you came too. Can I get you some wine?”
“Sure.” Oksana tried to be cordial, but as soon as she took the glass Annie handed her, she panicked and took off into the small crowd.
And that was the start of an uncomfortable night. Annie’s new building was actually pretty cool though. Old, maybe built in the forties or so. The roof offered the perfect view of Dodgers Stadium and almost a whole look at the surrounding neighborhood. Oksana did the delicate dance of socializing with Megan and Scooter while Annie entertained her other guests and always found a way to disappear before Annie made her way back to them. The more people Oksana met the more she realized that she was some sort of guest of honor. The way their eyes would light up when she would mention her name. She wondered just how badly Annie had wanted her to show up. The attention made her less eager to want to talk to Annie, but Annie Collins wasn’t one to be ignored.
Finally, she cornered Oksana by the roof door.
“It’s time for the next tour,” Annie said, nodding toward her imaginary watch. “You want to check out my new apartment? You’re the only one who hasn’t seen it.”
A familiar feeling came over Oksana as she looked down at her. The same nervous excitement she’d felt that night in the Hilton Checkers Hotel. The same feeling she felt the first time Annie had smiled just for her. She tamped the emotion down so it was more of a simmer than a boil and then she nodded.
Annie’s place was small, but perfect for Annie. The walls had been painted recently, a great aqua blue in the front room, which also served as the kitchen and the living room and the dining room. Somehow, they ended up in the bedroom. That was painted a lime green. It looked really nice, but the ceiling was oddly low, and dim, golden light from her decorative lamps made the space seem even smaller, more cramped. The lack of AC didn’t help. Annie motioned for her to sit on the double bed that took up most of the room. Foolishly, Oksana sat. Annie joined her.
“Thanks for coming,” Annie said.
“It’s nice.” Oksana looked around, trying to focus on the décor instead of Annie’s breasts or the enormous tattoo that now covered the expanse of her cleavage.
Annie touched her knee. Oksana thought her whole leg would catch on fire. She looked Annie in the eyes instead of checking for burn marks on her pants. Why did Annie have to be so beautiful and adorable and sweet? Why did she have to be everything Oksana really wanted?
“You probably guessed I had a little speech prepared.”
“Actually, no. I was used to the texts.”
“I am a wee bit persistent.”
“You are. So let’s hear it,” Oksana said. If Annie said something crazy, she could just walk out the door and catch a bus back to West Hollywood. The four bus came all the way out to the stadium, if she remembered correctly.
“Okay, here goes.” Annie exhaled. “I’ve never messed up big before. And before all this, I don’t think I’ve ever hurt anyone before either. When you asked me to come stay with you, I love you is what I should have said. And I should have told you that I was embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior. I should have told you that my last few conversations with my parents made me feel like a shitty person, too shitty to be in a relationship with anyone.
“But I should have told you that I need you and I want to be with you. Because I do. I need you. I need Baba Inna, and I need Kat. I had a family with you three and I need that back.”
What the hell? Were Annie and Baba connected at the brain? Obviously not, but she hated when her grandmother was right.
“What is this?” she asked, pointing to the ink on Annie’s chest. All she could make out was the head of a bird. Annie pulled down the collar of her shirt, but the fabric wouldn’t give enough to show Oksana the whole piece.
“Crap.” Annie reached for the bottom hem of her shirt. “Is it okay?”
“Yes. I’m able to resist you.”
Annie pulled her shirt over her head and Oksana immediately ate her words. Annie’s bra was light blue, the same shade as her eyes, and sheer. Oksana could see her large, hard nipples through the material. She licked her lips to contain the drool.
Above the bra was the real spectacle. A large depiction of what looked like a traditionally small bird was centered over Annie’s breasts, its wing spread over the width of her collarbone. Intricate designs filled in the space around the animal, and in the center of its chest was a large heart. And in the center of that heart was the silhouette of a bear.
“It’s a black-capped chickadee,” Annie said.
Oksana couldn’t stop her fingers from moving. Softly, she traced the bold lines of the tattoo: the wings, the beak, the bright red that shaded the middle. The body of the grizzly bear.
Her gaze flickered to Annie’s eyes then back down to her chest. “What if I leave right now and I don’t come back? What about this?”
“You’ve changed me. You’ve made me see myself. You’ll always be here.” Annie caught Oksana’s hand over her heart. “No matter what happens, you’ll be here.”
She let Annie hold her in place for a moment, but soon she stood and put some space between them.
“This place is small,” she said.
“Like me.”
“Just like you.” Too small for us.
Oksana sat back down on the bed, and before she talked herself out of it, she kissed Annie. She felt Annie’s shock immediately, followed by her relief. They melded together, lips pressing harder and soon tongues searching. When she pulled away, Oksana stopped thinking about emotional bruises that had already healed and started thinking about a future that coul
d be filled with a love they both wanted and needed. A place where both their giggly butterflies could roam free. She didn’t know when, but she’d forgiven Annie. The cheesy metaphors for mythical creatures were proof of that.
Oksana touched Annie’s hair, the way she’d been wanting to all night. “We want you. We love you. You have a family with us. We don’t want you to run away.”
“I know.” Annie sighed and looked around her lime green bedroom. “This time has been really good for me. I did figure a lot of stuff out, and I saw how empty things are without you.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way again.”
“I was hoping you’d say that. I love you.” Annie kissed her this time, the same soft, sweet kiss Oksana had grown to love. A kiss that always promised so much more. “I kind of like this part of being independent, though. I earned this little rabbit hole”
“How long’s the lease?” Oksana asked.
“A year.”
“Let me know if you want to sublet. I’ll call Ronnie. She always knows someone.”
“I think I might take you up on that,” Annie said softly.
“I hoped you would.”
The End
About the Author
After years of meddling in her friends’ love lives, Rebekah turned to writing romance as a means to surviving a stressful professional life. She has worked in various positions from library assistant, meter maid, middle school teacher, B movie production assistant, reality show crew chauffeur, D movie producer, and her most fulfilling job to date, lube and harness specialist at an erotic boutique in West Hollywood.
Her interests include Wonder Woman collectibles, cookies, James Taylor, quality hip-hop, football, American muscle cars, large breed dogs, and the ocean. When she’s not writing, reading, or sleeping, she is watching Ken Burns’s documentaries and cartoons or taking dance classes. If given the chance, she will cheat at UNO. She was raised in Southern New Hampshire and now lives in Southern California with an individual who is much more tech savvy than she will ever be.
You can find Rebekah at http://letusseeshallwe.blogspot.com/
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
Burgundy Betrayal by Sheri Lewis Wohl. Park Ranger Kara Lynch has no idea she’s a witch until dead bodies begin to pile up in her park, forcing her to turn to beautiful and sexy shape-shifter Camille Black Wolf for help in stopping a rogue werewolf. (978-1-60282-654-0)
LoveLife by Rachel Spangler. When Joey Lang unintentionally becomes a client of life coach Elaine Raitt, the relationship becomes complicated as they develop feelings that make them question their purpose in love and life. (978-1-60282-655-7)
The Fling by Rebekah Weatherspoon. When the ultimate fantasy of a one-night stand with her trainer, Oksana Gorinkov, suddenly turns into more, reality show producer Annie Collins opens her life to a new type of love she’s never imagined. (978-1-60282-656-4)
Ill Will by J.M. Redmann. New Orleans PI Micky Knight must untangle a twisted web of health care fraud that leads to murder—and puts those closest to her most at risk. (978-1-60282-657-1)
Buccaneer Island by J.P. Beausejour. In the rough world of Caribbean piracy, a man is what he makes of himself—or what a stronger man makes of him. (978-1-60282-658-8)
Twelve O’Clock Tales by Felice Picano. The fourth collection of short fiction by legendary novelist and memoirist, Felice Picano. Eleven dark tales that will thrill and disturb, discomfort and titillate, enthrall and leave you wondering. (978-1-60282-659-5)
Night Hunt by L.L. Raand. When dormant powers ignite, the wolf Were pack is thrown into violent upheaval, and Sylvan’s pregnant mate is at the center of the turmoil. A Midnight Hunters novel. (978-1-60282-647-2)
Demons are Forever by Kim Baldwin and Xenia Alexiou. Elite Operative Landis “Chase” Coolidge enlists the help of high-class call girl Heather Snyder to track down a kidnapped colleague embroiled in a global black market organ-harvesting ring. (978-1-60282-648-9)
Runaway by Anne Laughlin. When Jan Roberts is hired to find a teenager who has run away to live with a group of anti-government survivalists, she’s forced to return to the life she escaped when she was a teenager herself. (978-1-60282-649-6)
Street Dreams by Tama Wise. Tyson Rua has more than his fair share of problems growing up in New Zealand—he’s gay, he’s falling in love, and he’s run afoul of the local hip-hop crew leader just as he’s trying to make it as a graffiti artist. (978-1-60282-650-2)
Women of the Dark Streets: Lesbian Paranormal edited by Radclyffe and Stacia Seaman. Erotic tales of the supernatural—a world of vampires, werewolves, witches, ghosts, and demons—by the authors of Bold Strokes Books. (978-1-60282-651-9)
Tyger, Tyger, Burning Bright by Justine Saracen. Love does not conquer all, but when all of Europe is on fire, it’s better than going to hell alone. (978-1-60282-652-6)
Words to Die By by William Holden. Sixteen answers to the question: What causes a mind to curdle? (978-1-60282-653-3)
Haunting Whispers by VK Powell. Detective Rae Butler faces two challenges: a serial attacker who targets attractive women, and Audrey Everhart, a compelling woman who knows too much about the case and offers too little—professionally and personally. (978-1-60282-593-2)
Wholehearted by Ronica Black. When therapist Madison Clark and attorney Grace Hollings are forced together to help Grace’s troubled nephew at Madison’s healing ranch, worlds and hearts collide. (978-1-60282-594-9)
Fugitives of Love by Lisa Girolami. Artist Sinclair Grady has an unspeakable secret, but the only chance she has for love with gallery owner Brenna Wright is to reveal the secret and face the potentially devastating consequences. (978-1-60282-595-6)
Derrick Steele: Private Dick The Case of the Hollywood Hustler by Zavo. Derrick Steele, a hard-drinking, lusty private detective, is being framed for the murder of a hustler in downtown Los Angeles. When his best friend Daniel McAllister joins the investigation, their growing attraction might prove to be more explosive than the case. (978-1-60282-596-3)
Nice Butt: Gay Anal Eroticism by Shane Allison. From toys to teasing, spanking to sporting, some of the best gay erotic scribes celebrate the hottest and most creative in new erotica. (978-1-60282-635-9)
Worth the Risk by Karis Walsh. Investment analyst Jamie Callahan and Grand Prix show jumper Kaitlyn Brown are willing to risk it all in their careers—can they face a greater challenge and take a chance on love? (978-1-60282-587-1)
Bloody Claws by Winter Pennington. In the midst of aiding the police, Preternatural Private Investigator Kassandra Lyall finally finds herself at serious odds with Sheila Morris, the local werewolf pack’s Alpha female, when Sheila abuses someone Kassandra has sworn to protect. (978-1-60282-588-8)
Awake Unto Me by Kathleen Knowles. In turn of the century San Francisco, two young women fight for love in a world where women are often invisible and passion is the privilege of the powerful. (978-1-60282-589-5)
Initiation by Desire by MJ Williamz. Jaded Sue and innocent Tulley find forbidden love and passion within the inhibiting confines of a sorority house filled with nosy sisters. (978-1-60282-590-1)
Toughskins by William Masswa. John and Bret are two twenty-something athletes who find that love can begin in the most unlikely of places, including a “mom and pop shop” wrestling league. (978-1-60282-591-8)
[email protected] by K.E. Payne. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you’ve never met? Imogen Summers thinks so because it’s happened to her. (978-1-60282-592-5)
High Impact by Kim Baldwin. Thrill seeker Emery Lawson and Adventure Outfitter Pasha Dunn learn you can never truly appreciate what’s important and what you’re capable of until faced with a sudden and stark reminder of your own mortality. (978-1-60282-580-2)
Snowbound by Cari Hunter. “The policewoman got shot and she’s bleeding everywhere. Get someone here in one hour or I’m going to put her out of her misery.” It’s an ultimatum that will forever change the lives of police officer Sam Lucas and Dr. Kate My
les. (978-1-60282-581-9)
Rescue Me by Julie Cannon. Tyler Logan reluctantly agrees to pose as the girlfriend of her in-the-closet gay BFF at his company’s annual retreat, but she didn’t count on falling for Kristin, the boss’s wife. (978-1-60282-582-6)
The Fling Page 24