The string tugged.
Cressida held her breath. She could feel her palms sweating, and she reached out, gripping the bat tightly.
She could hear noise, someone tripping through the room. Cressida started hyperventilating.
“Cressida?” Her mother’s voice, sounding angry. “Where the hell are you?”
Cressida suppressed a whimper. Don’t find me… don’t find me…
“What… is this yarn?” Her mother’s voice raised.
Suddenly, the closet door opened.
Cressida slammed her eyes shut. She was breathing in bellows, puffing like a steam engine. She felt tears squeezing out of the edges of her eyes. She wanted to scream – tried to scream – but it got choked in her throat.
“Cressida? Cressida!”
She felt a shaking, someone taking her shoulder.
“Baby, it’s okay. It’s okay. It’s Noah.”
She opened her eyes, disoriented. “Noah?” she whispered.
In the dim light, she could barely make out his form. He was stroking her back.
“You were having a nightmare,” he said. “A bad one. I thought I’d wake you up.”
She took a big gulp of breath. Then she leaned forward and curled into him, nuzzling against his chest, and shuddered.
Chapter 6
Noah cradled Cressida against his chest, rocking her gently. “Is it another panic attack?” he asked, his voice low.
“No,” she said. “It was just a nightmare. I’m so sorry. Did I wake you?”
“I was having trouble sleeping anyway,” he said, and it was the truth… although, in a roundabout way, she was responsible for keeping him awake. “I heard you thrashing around, then I heard you start to cry out, so I figured I’d come in here and make sure you were okay.”
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “You are amazing, you know that?”
He stroked her shoulder with his thumb. Man, she had some super soft skin. He rested his chin against her head, breathing in the clean scent of her hair. “I didn’t do anything particularly amazing.”
“You’ve done all the driving, you got groceries, you nursed me through a particularly brutal panic attack, and now you’re calming me down after a nightmare.”
“What was the nightmare about?” He felt her tense against him, and quickly changed gears. “You don’t have to tell me. I mean, sometimes it helps to let it out, but if you’d rather not, no worries.”
“It’s… sort of a recurring nightmare,” Cressida finally said slowly. “I don’t get it as much as I used to, but I still get it more than I like. It happens most often after periods of high stress and anxiety, and let’s face it, today counted as that.”
He felt his heart wrench a little for her. “That sucks,” he said, feeling helpless. That sucks? That’s probably the lamest thing you could say to her!
But she didn’t seem offended. “It does.” She paused. “Thanks for not judging.”
“What kind of an asshole would I be if I judged?”
“You’d be amazed at how many people offer suggestions on how to ‘fix’ my ‘problem’,” she said, and there was an uncharacteristic bitterness in her words. She was generally one of the gentlest and kindest people he’d ever met, online or IRL. “I’ve had people tell me I just need to get over my past, just ‘let it go’.”
“I don’t know your past,” he said, “but that has to be the most ridiculous advice I’ve ever heard.”
“I know, right?” She chuckled against him and he felt her shake. He gave her a little squeeze. “Some other people have suggested hypnosis, or meditation, or even changing my diet. I don’t see how going low-carb would stop me from having anxiety attacks, but these people swear by it.”
“I’m not a doctor, I just play one on TV,” he quipped, causing her to laugh even more. “Well, I’m not a doctor…”
“Yet,” she said, and he felt a bubble of happiness.
“Yes,” he amended. “So I don’t know what you need, and I’m not going to be some blowhard and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. You’ve been living with this sickness for a long time, and you’ve got to make the best decisions for yourself. I’m just glad I could help a little.”
“You helped a lot,” she said. “You’re helping me on this, well, adventure of mine. And we’re going to find this treasure, I can just feel it.”
His chest warmed, and he nuzzled the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her. “I can feel it, too.”
Unfortunately, that wasn’t all his body was feeling. It was dark, like three o’clock in the morning. In the close confinement of the RV’s bedroom, on Cressida’s bed, surrounded by her honeysuckle scent, his body tightened painfully.
He wondered if she felt it, too. He abruptly realized they were embracing – what had started as a comfort hug had turned into, well, something else. Something a bit more intimate.
He ought to pull back, he thought. This isn’t what she signed on for. He was about to do just that when he heard her sigh. “Did I mention I’ve never been kissed?”
He chuckled. “Hello, non sequitur.”
She laughed too, a little nervously. “Sorry. It’s just – well. It’s funny to be with a guy in the middle of the night, when I’ve rarely been around guys privately in the middle of the day.”
He hadn’t really thought about that. “You’ve never dated, then?”
“I tried, but it’s kind of hard when you’re agoraphobic.” She sighed again. She was a little more tense against him, he noticed, but she still pressed against him. “Hailey tried setting me up, in high school, but it was just too weird a situation, and I didn’t connect with anyone. By the time Rachel started going to college and Hailey started dealing at the casino, I was just a homebody. I did online dating, and I connected with some guys online, but they just wanted someone to bang, and I wasn’t ready for that kind of leap.”
He felt incensed on her behalf. “Of course you weren’t.”
“That said, Hailey has offered to pay for an escort if I ever want to, erm, lose it.”
He gaped, pulling back a little. “You mean she’d pay for you to lose your virginity?”
“She’s a problem solver,” Cressida said, tongue-in-cheek. “Anyway, I didn’t feel comfortable giving out our address. I’ve flirted with a few customers, but nobody ever connected with me enough for me to want to kiss them.”
“Huh.” I volunteer as tribute!
She let out a low breath. He could still smell the mint of her toothpaste. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m bringing this up.”
“I’m a little curious.”
“I feel super comfortable with you,” she said.
“Comfortable.” Well. That was the near occasion of “nice.”
“More than comfortable,” she admitted, squirming a little. “Attracted. And I was wondering…”
“Yes?”
He could make out the features of her face, barely, by the light coming in from the main compartment’s windows. “Would you kiss me?” she asked.
His blood roared.
“I don’t mean to impose,” she added quickly. “If I’m overstepping my boundaries here… I mean, I guess it’s kind of stupid to ask, since we’re doing this quest together and everything, and we’re going to be splitting money. Actually, it’s probably really not a great idea. It’s a bad idea. Forget I said anything.”
Immediately his body protested, and he tensed. Everything she’d said was valid: they were on a road trip, they were going to be splitting four million dollars if everything went as planned. Adding romance to the mix was probably a stupid idea, all in all.
But it didn’t have to be romance.
“You’ve just told me you’ve never been kissed, and you’re comfortable with me,” he said, forcing his tone to remain reasonable. “I’d say we could just chalk it up to experimentation. Doesn’t have to mean anything. We’ll keep it to one kiss, and then I’ll go back to bed and you’ll go back to sle
ep. Deal?”
He could make out her smile. “Okay. One kiss. That would be awesome.”
He’d never been someone’s first kiss before, that he could remember. He realized that there was a lot of responsibility here. He wanted it to be memorable – wanted her to feel good.
He tilted his head towards hers, cradling the side of her face with his hand, then pressed his lips against hers.
Oh hot damn.
Her lips were satin-soft and tentative. He wanted to devour her in big bites, but he knew that was the last thing she needed. Instead, he brushed his mouth over hers, stroking slowly, gradually increasing pressure.
She made a low sound in her throat, somewhere between a purr and a sigh. Her hands went to his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.
The leash on his control slipped a little. He couldn’t help himself. He nipped at her lower lip until her lips parted, then he brushed his tongue against the tender skin of her inner lip. He waited until her tongue tentatively moved out, tickling his.
That’s it.
He wanted to lose his mind, and lose himself in her, as the kiss turned hotter. She was a quick study, clutching him. He moved his hands to her waist, pulling her flush against him as his head angled to get the best access to that delicious mouth of hers. She was kissing back, her hands clutching at his shoulders, then scooting up to tangle in his hair.
After a long moment, his body was ready to explode. He wanted to stretch her out on the bed and move from kissing to something else. He wanted to peel the nightgown off her body and feast on the creamy-smooth skin of hers. He wanted to cover her, enter her, pleasure the hell out of her.
And that’s exactly what she said she wasn’t ready for.
It was like a slap from his conscience. She was vulnerable. She’d had a hell of a day. She was attracted to him, yes – but the bottom line was, she was comfortable with him. She trusted him.
He needed her to keep trusting him. And he needed to be a good guy.
With Herculean effort, he pulled himself away. He could see her eyes were dazed, and she made a sharp sound of protest. “Noah?” she asked, with obvious disappointment.
“One kiss, remember?” he said, out of breath.
“Oh.” She was panting a little, too. “I’m sorry. That was probably more than…”
“Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry,” he said. “I just… we’re better off not rushing anything, right?”
“Right.” But she didn’t sound convinced.
He wondered if he’d screwed up. “Cressida…”
“No, you’re right. Well, I’m going to get back to sleep.” He could hear the undercurrents of sleep, the way she shut herself off.
“It’s not like that,” he said. “If I stay in here, I’m going to want to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you!”
With that bomb dropped, the air between them was suddenly electrified.
“I’m assuming you’re not ready for that,” he continued.
“N-no,” Cressida stammered.
“No. So we’re not going to push our luck, not with everything else going on.” He got up, clambering for the door, then turned. “But once everything else is out of the way – lady, you and I are going to have a talk, and then some.”
He thought he saw her smile again. She snuggled under her blanket. “Goodnight, Noah.”
“Goodnight,” he said, then closed the door to the sleeping compartment. He marched back to his own sleeping area and climbed onto the bed.
Damn it. Good luck getting to sleep, he thought, and grumbled his way under the covers.
The next morning, most of the anxiety that Cressida had been feeling was burned away by the wash of emotions she was still experiencing from her encounter with Noah.
Did I really tell him I’d never been kissed before?
On the one hand, she was gripped by sheer mortification. What the heck had she been thinking? In the most passive way possible, she’d thrown herself at the guy. It wasn’t even a daring, femme fatale sort of come on. It was playing the V-card – I’ve never been kissed, I’ve never done anything, help a girl out, would ya?
On the other hand, once she got past the humiliation of asking a cute guy to kiss her, there was the whole experience of the kiss to think about – something that had kept her up for hours after, and pleasantly pervaded her dreams.
Dear Lord, that man can kiss!
Not that she had any basis for comparison, obviously. But if you just went by sheer results, the guy was a frickin’ kissing savant. One kiss – one long, hot, amazing kiss – and she’d been ready to jump him. Had started to jump him, honestly. Thankfully, or perhaps regrettably, cooler heads prevailed.
Namely, his head.
And we’re back to humiliation.
She put her head in her pillow and moaned. It was time to get up and start the day. As embarrassing as it was, he was right: they had to stay on track. There was four million dollars at stake here. She was doing this to keep her family’s home, the only safe place she’d ever known. Sure, he might be handsome, and kind, and funny, and…
Focus. Remember?
She shook herself. Then she got dressed and opened the compartment door.
He had already put away the bed and cleaned up the main area. “Good morning,” he said, with a drowsy sort of drawl that she felt all the way in her stomach.
Stop being so sexy, damn it. I am focusing here!
“When you’re ready, I figured we’d eat a little breakfast and then hit the road.”
“Absolutely. The sooner the better,” she said, trying to keep her voice brisk and business-like. She went to the bathroom, got cleaned up. When she got out, he’d pulled out cereals that he’d bought, and the milk.
“I’ve already got a route mapped out that’ll get us to California,” he said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“That’s fine. You’re the one that’s driving, after all,” she said.
They ate in silence for a while, and he finally said, “How are you feeling?”
At first, she thought he was talking about last night, and she felt her cheeks heat. “I’m… uh…”
“Still feeling anxious?” he clarified.
The heat of her blush intensified. “No,” she said. “No, I think the worst of that’s behind me. We’ll see how it goes, but I’m feeling pretty confident.”
“So am I,” he said. “It’s only a day or two – we don’t have to push it. And we’ll just, you know, keep an eye out.”
They cleaned up, then headed out on the road. She sat gingerly in the passenger seat next to him. It was weird, looking out the window rather than sequestering herself in the sleeping compartment. It felt good, she thought. The RV felt safe, but she could still see the outside world.
She giggled.
“What’s funny?” he asked, with a smile.
“I feel like Bilbo Baggins, in The Hobbit,” she said, then broke out her best British accent. “I’m going on an adventure!”
He laughed. “Of course you’re a Tolkien fan. I remember you telling me that.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Sure I am,” he said. “Although I liked the first trilogy better.”
“Me too,” she agreed. “My favorite part was Rivendell – and Lothlorien. All those trees!”
“I remember when we first started talking to each other, over the boards,” he said, grinning. “You swore that the treasure had to be in a National Forest somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.”
“And you made fun of me and said that it might as well be on the forest moon of Endor,” she teased back. “Meanwhile, you were convinced it was either in the Rockies or somewhere in Utah.”
“I was right about the desert, it turned out,” he said. “You helped me narrow it down, shifted the focus to the Mojave.”
She hugged her knees to her chest. “We’re close. We’re so close.”
“Yeah, but we’re not in that much of a rush, are we?”
She turned h
er head to stare at him in surprise. “Well… I mean, I am,” she said. “The sooner we get the treasure, the sooner I can buy the house. I imagine it’s going to take some time to get that gold sold, and the jewels and stuff.”
“But a few hours off schedule isn’t going to kill us,” he said. “We’ve got a few days. Breathing room.”
She bit her lip. “You don’t mean – are you talking about our delay yesterday? Because I am so sorry about that. I didn’t mean for you to pull over to take care of me with my panic attack.”
“No. But I do think that not pushing ourselves too hard is going to be the key to doing this right,” he said seriously. “Self-care. Let’s look at it as an adventure. If we give in to desperation, we’re going to be in a world of hurt. Stress creates mistakes.”
“Okay,” she agreed. “You’ve got a good attitude about all of this.”
He turned to her for a second and winked. “I had a lot of time to think about it last night.”
She held her breath for a second. Did that mean – did he have trouble sleeping last night, as well? After their kiss? The thought had her tingling.
Focus!
She swallowed. “So – want to play the alphabet game?” she asked. “I normally don’t play road trip games, because I’m usually drugged if we go long distances.” Then she wanted to face palm. Way to bring up your illness. Are you trying to get him to pity you?
But thankfully, he didn’t. He played the Alphabet game, and then had some riddle games of his own that kept them occupied. The next two hours flew by. She noticed that they had pulled off of the 5 freeway, onto the 199. She wondered why – it should’ve been a straight shot down to California. Maybe he wanted to see the coast, she thought. That’s what he was talking about, plotting the alternate route. Maybe it was less stressful for him, even if it was going to add hours to their journey.
Think of it as an adventure.
“We’re here,” he said, surprising her.
She hadn’t been paying too close attention, trying to figure out his riddle with only yes or no questions: a man who had eaten a bowl of albatross soup then went out and shot himself, and she had to figure out why. “We’re where?” she asked, distracted.
Playing Doctor Page 8