by Shelly Davis
I looked at him, and he almost seemed happy. How could he be happy doing such mundane domestic work? He must have someone at home to do those daily activities for him, to take care of such tasks. “You didn’t have to do all of that,” I said quietly as I wrapped my sandwich and stood, Julius took it and placed it in my refrigerator. I didn’t know how to handle him doing these things for me. I wasn’t used to anyone doing anything for me. Even my dad didn’t completely do things for me. We worked together, but I did most of the cooking and cleaning. Julius doing things for me and taking the control was just weird. “I can do those things myself, you know.”
He grinned at me. I loved and hated that crooked smile of his. It made me feel things that I shouldn’t have been feeling, especially for him. His smile was sexy and conceited and promised all kinds of things that I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow myself to have. Even if he made me want to take a chance, I knew I couldn’t.
“You’re not used to people doing stuff for you, are ya?” he asked. “Let me guess, since your momma died, you’ve been takin care of your dad, right? And I bet you take care of Jake and Cade too.”
I stared at him. I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t. I looked away from him and didn’t respond. I always did kind of take care of Jake and Cade. My dad worked so much and so hard, I felt like he should never come home to a cluttered house. It was the least I could do to help him. I glanced back toward him and that damn smirk had taken residence on his face once more.
“That’s what I thought, Toni. Anyway, I know you can do things for yourself. But we’re friends, and friends help each other out, right?”
There was that word again—friends. Were we friends? Co-workers, boss and employee, maybe even racecar driver and mechanic. But friends?
“Are we friends?” I decided to ask. I didn’t want to sound so naïve, but he made me all kinds of unsure and nervous.
He smiled a little wider; his eyes sparkled with amusement. “Yeah, Toni. We’re definitely friends.” He took my hand and pulled me from the table. He moved us to the living room area. He sat on the couch and pulled me down to sit with him. He turned his body so he was facing me, “Friends talk and learn about each other. So talk to me, tell me about yourself.”
“Jules please,” I sighed. “I told you, there’s nothing to know.”
“Somehow I doubt that. How about telling me about your dad’s shop, or your hometown. Maybe other family. Do I need to worry about your dad coming to hunt me down for being in your apartment with ya? Do I need to worry about Bobby?”
I laughed. “No,” I said through my giggle. “Uncle Bobby wouldn’t have let you in here if he had a problem. He woulda made us eat at the bar. Daddy will follow Bobby’s lead since he knows you, so you should be safe there too.”
“What about the other stuff?”
“My dad’s shop is the best. It’s just a little place in Shady Falls. He has four bays with three lifts and up until I walked into Fuller Enterprises, he had the most tools I’d ever seen. It’s my favorite place in the world.”
“Where is Shady Falls? I never heard of it.”
“It’s northeast of here, it’s a little unincorporated town near Greensboro. No one ever seems to have heard of it, but that’s okay. We like it that way. What about you? Where’re you from?”
“I’m from Tennessee. A little town near Seymour.” He paused a moment and smiled. “You’re not gettin’ off that easily. How about tellin’ me something a little more personal?”
How could I go into personal? I could just see it now … Hey Jules, you know that nightmare I had in Florida, it was about my ex-boyfriend who used to get off on abusing me and he, basically, raped me every time he wanted sex. Oh and I’m screwed in the head because of the prick … Yeah, I don’t think so! “There’s nothing personal to tell.” I said. There was no way I was sharing any of that crap with him.
“The more you say there’s nothing to know, the more I’m sure there’s lots to know. But it’s okay.” He stood and grinned at me. “I think it’s time for me to get goin’. I’ll pick you up in the mornin’ about seven o’clock, sound good?”
I stood and followed him to the door. “Yeah, I’ll be ready. Are you sure it ain’t too much trouble? I could always get a cab or have Uncle Bobby take me.”
“Absolutely not!” he exclaimed. “I’ll be here in the mornin’.”
“Thanks for having dinner with me, Jules.”
He smiled brightly, “Next time, it’s my treat.” He leaned in close to my face. And for the third time tonight, I had to stop myself from trying to close the distance between us. “And I assure you, Antonia, there will be a next time.” Then he kissed my cheek, turned and walked out to the darkened driveway.
I stood by my open door, letting the cold February air chill me to the bone. I wished I wasn’t so confused about my feelings. I used to trust my instincts, but I hadn’t in a very long time. Every instinct told me to run after him and get him to come back, if for no other reason than to talk.
Once the darkness enveloped him and the crunch of his boots on the gravel driveway subsided, I turned and returned to the warmth of my home. I stood by the door, looking around and I could almost see and feel his presence still lingering in the area. His smell remained; it filled my senses with tranquil feelings. Almost as if I was completely relaxed and at ease because I could still feel his presence. It was something I didn’t understand, but I liked how it felt. No, I didn’t like how it felt—I couldn’t. Oh god, what am I going to do? I can’t feel like this just because he was in my house. Damn!
I went to find my phone to text Mia. I wished she was coming home tonight. I wanted to talk to her about this.
Me: I think I like him. What am I gonna do?
I sat and looked at my phone as I waited for her to respond. It felt like forever and I swore my phone was mocking me with its perpetual silence. After a few minutes, my phone finally dinged in my hand.
Mia: What? Who are we talking about because I feel like I’m missing something?
Me: Julius. I think I like him.
Mia: Calling …
Immediately my phone rang, Mia’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hello?” I said, pretending I didn’t know it was her.
“Hello my ass, Toni. What the hell do you mean you like him? Are you freakin’ serious?”
“Yeah, I’m serious. He drove me home and we had dinner here. Mia, it was so nice. I felt so comfortable with him. I don’t ever feel like that with anyone except for Cade, Jake, and you. What am I gonna do?”
“Wait, let me get this straight. He came to our place … with you … alone. You ate dinner together and you didn’t freak out or panic at all?”
She paused and I knew she wanted an answer. I sighed, “It was nice. Different than bein’ around the twins, but kind of the same too. What am I gonna do about this?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, sounding annoyed. “You’re gonna get to know him, and you’re gonna let him know you’re there and interested.”
“Oh, hell no. I ain’t doin’ that!” I exclaimed. “He said we’re friends.”
“Then you’ll do the friend thing. If he’s worth half a shit, he’ll come around.”
“And what if he doesn’t? What if I really do start to like him? Then what?”
“Honestly, honey. I don’t know. But you have to let yourself be in his life and get to know him. You deserve a chance at being happy. Even if nothing comes from it, the fact you don’t have instant fear of this guy is a pretty huge deal. It’s a step forward and it’s important for you to allow yourself to take that step. You can’t let what that asshole did destroy your life forever. You have to learn to live again.”
I knew deep down she was right. Dr. Mathews, my dad, my uncle, and my friends have all been telling me this for years. But until now I never fully accepted how confused and on edge I still felt. When he asked me what I liked to do, the realization that I had no hobbies and I didn’t go out
and have fun with friends anymore hit me. I kept myself so busy; I think I confused fun with relaxing and just hanging out with friends. My idea of fun was working out in a gym and reading, how pathetic was that? I breathed deeply and silently promised to find a way to learn to live again. Maybe with learning to live, I could learn to love too. Without even knowing it, maybe this man could have the power to help heal me. It was a shame he would never know.
Chapter Thirteen
Julius
It took everything in me to walk out of Toni’s apartment when I did. Sitting that close to her, feeling her so near to me, I didn’t think I could continue to control myself. The more I was around her; the more I wanted her. Since meeting her, I’d passed up many opportunities and I had no idea why. It wasn’t as if I’d ever be able to have her. But none of those others compared to what I had in front of me. How could I be with them when they couldn’t compare with her?
“What are your intentions with my niece?” a deep rumbling voice echoed around me, jarring me out of my musings. I turned to see a huge man standing on the front stoop of the bar. Through the shadows, I could see Bobby standing there, staring at me. He was an intimidating man, one I didn’t want to piss off. I wasn’t a little man, but this man could probably break me in half. Being around his niece should have intimidated me, but it didn’t. She was worth his scrutiny.
“We’re friends,” I said instantly. I had nothing to hide from anyone. The truth was we were friends. I would like more, but friendship was what she was giving me.
“Is that so? Why do I think you’re lyin’ to me?”
“I’m not. We’re nothin’ but friends, Bobby. Ask her.”
“Oh, I intend on it. I just wanted to see if you’d man up and tell me yourself.”
I took a deep breath, as much as I avoided any kind of connection or relationship since Anna, I did want something with Toni. I just wasn’t quite sure what I wanted yet. It was impossible not to see how special she was. And just as Marg had hoped, even as just friends, she was doing something to my heart. My old scars were starting to fade. I was returning to whom I once was, before Anna’s betrayal. It had nothing to do with her beauty, her talent, or her body, which were all astonishing. It was the person she was. She genuinely cared about everyone she allowed into her world. I think that was the reason I pushed the friends issue. If I couldn’t have her body, I wanted everything else. I wanted her to trust and need me as she did with her friends. It might not be everything, but it was all I could have at that moment. “We’re friends, Bobby. But that isn’t so much my choice as what I can see she needs. She don’t need some guy pursuin’ her. Tryin’ to push her into somethin’ she ain’t ready for.”
He came down the steps, talking as he walked. “Actually,” he said quietly, “I think that’s exactly what she needs.” He said the words at such a whisper I almost thought I heard him wrong. But his next words solidified his meaning. “She had a shitty experience with a boyfriend. He couldn’t have gotten any worse than what he was. And the prick never even saw jail time for what he did to her. She hasn’t let anyone close since.” He stood in front of me and looked me dead in the eye. I could feel his anger toward the man who destroyed his niece. I thought about what I knew about Toni, the nightmare, and the way she flinched sometimes. Adding what Jake told me and now Bobby’s words, I feared finding out what exactly happened to her. “If she’s let you get close, Jules, there must be something there. She doesn’t trust many and she’s never brought any friends here, other than Jake and Cade of course. She’s a good girl.”
I felt like he was admitting something to me without actually saying the words, I just hoped I understood what he was driving at. But his comment about the guy deserving jail time for what he did to her set alarms blazing in my head. I have no idea what exactly happened to her, but I sure as hell knew it must have been horrific. “I won’t let anything happen to her. I know she’s special.”
He nodded, seeming happy with what I said. “Good. I wouldn’t want to have to kill you if you hurt her. And I will protect her. I don’t mind going back to jail.”
I looked at him, shocked. “Back?” I questioned.
He smirked, but didn’t say a word. Like it was his little secret and he wasn’t sharing. He strode back across the yard toward the bar on the other side of the property. “Nice talkin’ to ya, Jules. I’m sure I’ll see ya around.”
“Yeah, Bobby. Night.”
~oOo~
“I’m loose goin’ into the turn, and tight comin’ out,” I said, reporting what I could feel the car doing as I raced around the track during the second race of the Duel races.
“All right, Jules,” her sweet voice surrounded me as I drove. Since we had dinner together, she’d taken to calling me Jules. I liked it, a lot. “When we stop, we’ll make a track-bar adjustment and do a four tire change.”
“Are you sure, I’m leadin’ the race. I don’t want …”
“Julius, you need to try to trust me. Remember that Kyle is sittin’ here right by me. We’re discussin’ everything. Four tires, track-bar adjustment, fuel. Got it?”
I grumbled, but didn’t argue. She hadn’t made a bad call yet, I came in second in the All-Star race and now I was leading the second Duel. I was on my way to a pole or second position to start the Daytona 500.
“The pit window’s open. Come in next time around, get fresh tires, we’ll make the track-bar adjustment, and get fuel. It will be the only stop of the race. You okay with that?” she asked.
“Ten-four,” I said. We cut the radio chatter so I could focus. I always heard the disembodied voice of my spotter in my ears, but hearing hers distracted me a bit.
“There’s a wreck in the back of the pack, you’re comin’ up on it fast. Stay high … Stay high … Caution’s out. Stay high … Clear … Clear … Clear.”
I drove blindly through the cloud of smoke, following my spotter’s instructions, slowing down and making it safely through the jumble of three cars and their debris.
“All right, Jules. As soon as pit lane is open, come in. We’ll follow the same strategy as we decided on before.”
“Ten-four.”
I followed the pace car around the track, waiting for them to open pit lane. It was strange, but I felt oddly at ease. I usually had some nervousness and there was always aggravation with the other drivers, the crew, or the officials, but today I felt none of that. I only felt at ease. It was bizarre. I could tell my pit crew had been hard at work during the off-season. My pit times had been faster than ever. The car was running like a beast and I felt confident about the race Sunday. This was the best start to a season in my entire career. I couldn’t help but take stock of what was different this season compared to others, and she was sitting in my pit acting as my crew chief.
“Pits are open,” Toni announced. “Bring it in this time around.” I followed her instructions and lead the pack of cars through the pits. It seemed that every single leader followed me off the track. None of the normal strategy was being used at the Duel today; this would make getting in and out of the pits more challenging. Sliding into my pit was easy enough, but then I was bookended by the number 123 in front and the number forty-four behind, getting out would be tough.
“Clear …” my spotter said as I pulled out of my pit stall and into the traffic on pit lane. Pulling back out onto the track behind the pace car, I was in third. But Toni’s voice surrounded me again.
“The twenty-two and twelve both took two tires. You’re fresher than they are, you can get the spots back. Two more caution laps and we’ll blow this thing out.”
“Ten-four.” I said. I tried not to focus too much on her voice, but to concentrate on her words. I needed to focus and pay attention to finish this.
We went back to green, only forty-three laps to go to finish the race.
“How’s it feelin’?” she asked after a lap.
“Better, still a little tight.” She didn’t respond, like Kyle, she was probably making no
tes about what needed doing to tune up the car before the 500 on Sunday.
Much like she pointed out, I had better tires and was faster than the two cars in front of me. I easily slipped past number twelve and was hot on twenty-two’s tail. Around turn one; twenty-two went high, so I went low to pass.
“The twenty-two’s fishtailin’. Back off before he takes you out with him. Stay low … stay low …”
I tried to push the car harder to get past number twenty-two before he lost control. But then I saw him shoot up toward the wall and then back down, right toward me.
“Back off … Back off, he’s comin’ down.” I didn’t back off though, I sped up. I wanted past him. I wanted away before he took out my car with his. I knew I probably should have listened to Tom, but I just wanted to finish this damn race before something happened. “Dammit, Jules, I said back the hell off!” his shouts filled my ears.
I flew past, just as the twenty-two hit the wall and ricocheted down the track toward me. I felt a slight tap on the back end of my car as I hit the straight away.
“You’re clear. You lucky bastard. Seems to be some damage to your right rear, but nothin’ the guys can’t take care of.”
I let out a breath, happy that I made it through without a lot of damage. When I came around to the start-finish line, I was leading the twelve by several car lengths. With this win, I would be set for the Daytona 500.
As soon as I got to the pit stall, my team greeted me. I searched the sea of faces, as much as I had promised I would keep a healthy distance from her, I still wanted hers to be one of the first faces I saw when I climbed out of the car. When I pulled myself up to sit on the door, I spotted her. She and Ky were climbing down from the box. She had a smile on her face, but when she locked eyes with me, it turned into a scowl. She and Kyle walked up to me. He was smirking, and I knew something was about to happen, because she looked like she was ready to kill.