by K. J. Dahlen
Releasing her, I collapse onto her back. I pull myself from her and roll to my side right away, dragging her with me. Her eyes are closed, and her face has this content and blissfully-gone look on it. I smile knowing it is I who has given her that look. It has only been a day, but I feel closer to her now than I had before. I still haven’t opened up about anything, and we haven’t talked about what happened, but words aren’t needed when bodies can do the communicating.
A sigh comes from her lips as she peers up at me, finally opening her incredible eyes. I am certain I will never get used to looking at something as beautiful as she. She has taught me that in the blink of an eye, life can end. Without her yesterday, I would be dead right now. Even though I have killed many people, and I probably deserved to die, I am alive and am grateful for it. I am not saying I am turning over a new fucking leaf because I’m not, but when it comes to her, I will try to be a better man.
“You’re such a dirty talker…” she whispers breathlessly. I smile, laying a kiss against her forehead. She has no idea. At that moment, when my cock met her pussy, there was nothing else that I could say. The words I spoke, though dirty, were true.
“Dirty talking is just another thing I’m good at.”
Her deep brown eyes roll as if to say shut the fuck up. I know I’m cocky, but when you’re me, you have a reason to be.
“We shouldn’t have done that. If Jared finds out you were getting rowdy with me, he’s going to be pissed.” Her concern for me and my safety over Jared has me laughing. She doesn’t know Jared like I do. He is a friend, a very close friend, who I met back in grade school before I knew I had responsibilities before I knew I would be the king of a mafia. That was back when I was normal when I had a mom and did things that were ordinary. “Jared isn’t the big, bad wolf, Bree. He’s just an old friend who also happens to work for me. He couldn’t kick my ass if he tried.”
“Oh really, asshole?” I hear Jared’s voice on the other side of the door just before he walks in. I pull the covers up over Bree, who is still blissfully happy with her post-orgasmic face.
“Call me sir, douchebag,” I smirk at him. He comes to sit in one of the chairs by the door.
“I called Mack. He said he will be up in a few days. He wanted to lay low since you caused a complete shit storm. They were raiding every part of your house looking for you two.” My blood boils as I look down at Bree.
They are looking for her and going through all of my things. My personal fucking things! The very things I have earned and make me the person I am, are probably destroyed. The fucking nerve of these people! Luccio deserved to die. He was going to kill me, so it was either him or me. When it comes down to a bullet, I will always choose to put one in the other person.
“I didn’t cause a shit storm,” I proclaim, pulling myself from the bed and pulling on my sleep pants. Bree is about to doze off again, and I don’t want to cause a bunch of fuss.
I get up, and Jared follows behind me, closing the door. We head into the kitchen where I rummage through the fridge for the juice. Once I find it, I pour a glass and take a long drink from it.
“What the hell happened? I thought you were doing the right things? You had me driving you all over the place. That girl in there told me that you found out who killed your mom. When did you start claiming women? What the fuck happened?” Jared rambles, obviously stressed and confused by what is going on.
“Bree was never meant to be anything. She simply fell into my lap. I did what I had to do. I took her in return for a debt that was owed. She was my indebted, now it is I who is in debt to her.” I slam back the rest of the juice and wipe my mouth.
“So, she’s not yours, but you dragged her into this fucked up, sick, and twisted mess?” The thought of her no longer being mine has my blood boiling. Isn’t she still mine?
“Like I expected this shit to be so out of hand? Luccio was my family. Well, kind of. He took me in when I lost everything, but he put the knife in my back. I had no other option but to kill him. Like I told Bree, it is kill or be killed.”
Jared runs a hand through his hair, looking away from me and up at the ceiling as if he can’t believe the shit I have gotten into. It is fucked up, yes, but it is just the start of the war.
“I’ve known you forever, Zerro. You always told me you had it under control. Now, you have a full on war with another family on your doorstep, and a girl you don’t really know if you can trust or not.” He eyes me.
“She’s a farm girl. She was away at college, Jared. That’s cause to say she’s dangerous? She was simply paying a debt off that her father owed me,” I growl at him, my grip on the glass in my hand is tense, and I am afraid that if I don’t let it go soon, we will have glass shards all over.
Moving a couple steps forward, he laughs in my face, his expression telling me he doesn’t believe a fucking thing I am saying to him. When did I get off my game so much? When did I start allowing people to act like this?
“Zerro,“ he says my name as if he wants to say something else, so I stand there waiting for him to spit out whatever it is that he wants to say. “You’re right. She’s probably innocent, but that’s not the point. If she is, then you have dragged her into something that is dark and violent. She won’t be able to go back to college for a while, and her life has completely turned the fuck upside down.”
“You aren’t helping…” I mutter, a feeling of guilt washing over me. I am never guilty of doing anything. I have killed hundreds of people, but that woman in there has me feeling guilt. Guilt that is going to eat away at me every time I look at her beautiful face.
“I’m not trying to,” he retorts. My fist unclenches, releasing the glass onto the marble counter. It falls, breaking into a million pieces. The shards scatter in every direction, but I don’t even care as I bring my fist back down onto the counter.
“I won’t feel guilty for anything I did, Jared. It had to be done. I have killed countless….” I pause for a moment, looking him straight in the eyes. “Countless people. I have killed for no reason at all. I feel no remorse for any of it.”
“But you feel guilty for dragging her into this, don’t you?” His voice is quiet, and I can barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears. My heart is pumping at Mach speeds, or at least it feels like it. Do I feel guilty for it? I have held a gun to her head and wrapped my hand around her delicate neck many times. Neither of those things makes me feel guilty, though. Why? Because I knew I would never kill her. The thought enters my mind without resistance. Have I known that I won’t kill her?
I can’t answer Jared even though I know the answer is deep inside of me. I have dragged someone who is, in fact, innocent into my shit hole. The very fact that he is right has me growing angrier.
“It’s not like I meant for any of this to happen…”
“You feel guilt though, don’t you?
I am avoiding his question. I don’t want to admit that I hate what I have pulled Bree into. I don’t want to admit that I have feelings for her. At least not aloud. Caring for someone just means another weakness. Losing my parents has led me to believe anyone you love will be ripped from you. Caring and loving just puts an X on your back. Enemies will know how they can hurt you the most.
“You’re such a fucking hard ass,” Jared mutters, shaking his head in disbelief. “Just admit it. For the first time in your fucking life, you care about someone.”
“Just stop.” My muscles are taut with aggression. I feel the need to kill something or someone right away. Jared is starting to look really appealing on the ground in a puddle of blood...
“It’s not a weakness to care for someone, Zerro. I can tell you right now that when I saw you on the ground, I thought the worst. Then there she was, standing there with a gun trembling in her hands ready to take anyone out who even looked at you the wrong way. She’s stronger than you give her credit for…”
My heart beat speeds up as it fills with adoration and something else—love? It can’t be
. I don’t love anyone. Love isn’t even a word that I know how to say. Still, she saved my life, so I feel as though I am indebted to her. Most people would’ve left me there to fend for myself.
“Fuck. Okay, I feel guilty for putting her in this situation…” My clenched hands unclenched as I think about her lifeless body on the ground, a bullet hole in her head, her body surrounded by a dark rimmed puddle of blood. I can’t handle it. I can’t let her die. Not at my hands. I am a monster, a sick and sadistic one, but when it comes to her, I feel different. It is no butterflies and sunshine bullshit, but it is something that causes my heart to race and my blood to boil. She is becoming something to me.
“I knew it,” he says, smirking at me. I raise my eyes to his. He has a smile on his face. The fucker knows what it takes for me to admit something, and he’s rubbing it in my fucking face?
“Get the fuck out of here before I wipe the floor your face.” I turn on my heels, heading to get the broom.
“I’ll remember that at your wedding, asshole.” His words stop me in my tracks. Wedding? I hear the front door slam and know he has taken my advice on leaving, although not before leaving me with the thought of marriage. Can I ever get married? Can I commit to someone? Will Bree even be able to handle someone like me?
She is strong, given everything that has happened in the past twenty-four hours, but to have to go through it every day for the rest of her life… Can she do it? The better question is, can I let her?
I walk around the house aimlessly, going stir-crazy. For the first time in my life, I have no answers as to what to do. If the FBI is on my ass, there isn’t a lot that can be done. Hiding is all that can get them off your radar for a while. Then, the second you fall back into the limelight, they will be on your ass again.
Bree has slept the whole afternoon, and though I want to wake her, every time I walk into the room to do it, I can’t. She looks so at peace in bed and I know if I wake her, the peacefulness that resides within her now will be gone.
Instead, I sit in the chair across from the bed and watch her delicate body. I appreciate her plump lips, the slope of her back, and the way her mouth parts as she allows a sigh to escape her lips as she sleeps.
She is magnificent, and she is mine. No longer able to hold back, I slip back into bed beside her. I need her to wake up. I need to talk to her, tell her how much her life has changed. The moment she saved my life is the moment she became a part of this war.
“Piccolo…” I whisper in her ear. She doesn’t move, and for a moment I think she doesn’t hear me. That is until my eyes sweep across her face. Her big, brown, doe eyes are wide open, peering up at me.
“What time is it?” she asks, her voice full of sleep. I smile at the sound.
“It’s late. I just figured after letting you sleep all day you would want to get up.” She rolls over, stretching. My dick automatically awakes, rising to the occasion. Of course, the fucker wants to interfere right now when I have business to talk about.
Her eyes roam the room as if she is looking for something. I wonder what she is thinking. Is she scared, worried, afraid? Does she think I will kill her after everything that has happened between us?
“What is going on in that head of yours?” I ask, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. I have never been the type to caress, touch, love. There isn’t a bone in my body that is made for such simple touches.
“I’m just thinking how much things have changed. When I woke up, it took me a second to realize where I was and what was going on.”
Sighing, I look deeply into her eyes. “Things are going to change. Whatever life you had before this is gone. You and the person you used to be are gone. The second you saved my life is the second that everything changed for you.”
A smile pulls at her lips as her brown eyes sparkle brightly in the light. “My life changed the moment you took me…”
“I know that, but I mean it will never be the same. Ever. Whatever freedoms you had before, you don’t have now. I know I promised you that you could leave, and you can. I swear to God, when all this is over if you want to run, you can. You can go wherever the fuck you want to go, but just know that while you’re here with me, you’re mine.” I am being possessive, and I don’t even fucking care. What Jared said to me hit a nerve.
“Yours.” I kind of like the sound of that.” She laughs softly.
“Yes, mine. Now, I have a plan, and it’s going to involve us staying in hiding for a while.” I am never one for running and hiding, and if I didn’t have someone I actually cared about for the first time in my life beside me, I wouldn’t be hiding now either.
“What’s your plan?” she asks, genuinely curious about what I am going to say.
“Mack is coming…” She cringes slightly at the sound of his name, and I am still wondering why. Did he do something to her?
“Great. What else?” She sounds completely displeased with the idea of Mack, and I can’t help but ask her what the problem is.
Moving closer to her, I rest my hand on her shoulder. “Is there something I should know about? Did Mack do something to you?” There had been so many times when I allowed him to go downstairs and check on her without my knowledge of what took place.
How could I be so fucking dumb? She is a beautiful woman, of course, he did something. Any man would.
“No…” Bree’s voice shakes as the lie escapes her lips. Anger rushes through me as my hand slips from her shoulder and up to the back of her neck where I grip her tightly, pulling her face into mine. Our lips are almost touching when I speak.
“Never. I mean never lie to me. Tell me whatever it is that you have to, but never lie to me. Dishonesty will get you killed faster than anything in this world. Even if it hurts to tell the truth, say it anyway because at least you said it.”
My eyes dart over her succulent lips, and the thought of taking her tongue into my mouth is sending my thoughts to all the wrong places.
“Now tell me what he did.” I try to hide to need from my voice and the fact that I want to take her against the wall right this second and forget about all the shit in our lives. The problems will still be here when I get done with her, right?
Her eyes gaze down and away from mine as if she is ashamed to speak. My heart starts beating out of my chest. If she has been with him, I don’t know what I will do. Will I kill her right here? Right now? That is the ultimate betrayal.
Her lip quivers, and I swear I see tears swimming in her eyes before she blinks them away.
“He got a little grabby and rough with me. I don’t like him and given the chance, I would stab him in the heart. Better yet, I might just shoot him.” She sounds vicious and sexy as hell when she is angry.
“When did he touch you?” I ask, withholding my rage. There is no point in showing her my anger. It wasn’t her fault. What am I supposed to do, though? I still have to somehow work with Mack. I have to find a way out of this, but he is my main man.
“That night he got me out of the basement, the night you came home with that girl,” Bree replies. Fire builds in her eyes when she says that girl. Who did she think I was bringing home? I don’t bring women to my private home.
“What did he do to you?” I clench my teeth, not wanting to hear what he did. Her eyes glaze over, and it is as if she is reliving the whole scene. Her body shakes as a single tear escapes her eye. Had I been that dark and uncaring that I hadn’t noticed someone who is mine, and mine alone, had been violated?
“He just wouldn’t leave me alone. He touched me and pushed me down on the stairs in the basement. He told me I was a distraction for you…” She sounds hurt as if she wants me to contradict what Mack said. Except he is right, she is nothing but a distraction. She wove herself deep under my skin and somehow made her way into my black heart, causing it to beat again.
“Did he…?” I can’t even say it. If he touched her like that, my patience for anything would be gone. I will kill him. I will rip him to shreds, detach his limbs, and fee
d him his dick.
She shakes her head no, her dark hair cascading into her face. My heartbeat stops, and I suck a breath in between my teeth.
“I’ll make him pay… I promise. The second I’m done with needing him, he will die.” I say softly, placing a kiss against her warm skin. In this crazy ass shit hole, she is the one thing holding me together. Without her here, I would shed more blood. I would be bathing in my enemy’s blood.
“Why do we need him?” she squeaks out, my lips still against her skin. I peer down at her. “He’s our ticket out of here…” I mumble.
“Can’t we just run?” she asks.
“No. Running is for the weak. We will hide, and when the time is right, I will strike, killing every single one of them.” The need for vengeance can be heard in my voice, and I don’t even care if it scares Bree. What they have done to me is something they will pay for.
“So we hide until the time is right and then you kill them all?” she inquires, tipping her head sideways. I release her head and sink back onto the bed.
“The only option is death, Bree. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but that’s how things are paid for. If they can so easily attempt to kill me, they should die for trying. It has always worked this way.” Frustration fills my body to the brim. How badly I wish I didn’t have someone whom I care about!
“You act like I don’t get it…” she whispers, getting up from the bed. Does she get it? I am not sure she understands the danger that she put herself in. Saving me should’ve been the last thing she ever did. She should’ve run when she got the chance.
“Saving me put you here. If you didn’t want this, then you should’ve run when you had the chance.” I don’t mean to sound like an asshole, but she has to know what will come from this.
She stops dead in her tracks just inside the bathroom door and turns to face me, her face a pure mask of anger.
“I saved you because it was the right thing to do. I saved you because, even though you’re a ruthless killer who has threatened to kill me on more than one occasion, I have grown to want you. I have grown to feel for you. Now, saving your ass by killing that fucker has put an X on my back too.”