by K. J. Dahlen
“I know how to fucking spell. I don’t care if he thinks I’m the enemy, my father didn’t do shit.” I was astonished. After everything, I was still sticking up for my father. I mean, he wasn’t here trying to figure out where his fucking daughter was.
An evil laugh left the masked man’s mouth, and I narrowed my eyes at him. From this distance, I couldn’t make out his height to weight ratio, and even if I could take him, I didn’t have the slightest clue on how the fuck I was going to get out of this hole.
“You know nothing about your father, do you?” He wasn’t really asking a question. I knew he was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.
“I know he’s my dad and that’s all that matters.” I had nothing more to say, so instead, I looked at my feet covered in dirt from the ground. I felt dirty, used, and abused, even though no one had touched me. Yet.
“You hear this…” I rolled my eyes. He must be talking to the other masked man who occasionally delivered shit for this nob job. “Little ole bitch here thinks her dad is the good guy in all of this.” I could hear his gruff laughter even though I was trying to block it out. I need to find a way out of this mess, out of this god for-fucking-saken hole.
“Is there a chance I could possibly get a shower someday… like soon… maybe?” I goaded, completely unfazed by their need to instill fear in me. I wasn’t scared of them. I knew I should’ve been, and there was probably something seriously fucked up in my brain for me not to be, but they hadn’t done anything other than belittle me.
“A golden shower maybe?” the man joked, even though I was sure he wasn’t kidding.
“No thank you, asshole…” I muttered under my breath throwing myself against the dirt covered wall. Where were we exactly? There was no way they could keep me in here forever. Someday, I would have to be released, right? Or would they keep me down her? Would they kill me? Anxiety crept up on me fast. What if I was really down here forever?
I dug my nails into the dirt as if to root myself into the wall. I would be okay. I could do this. I was strong. I knew what I was up against. My breaths were coming in and out at an outrageous pace, my chest heaving with every inhale as I sunk to the ground. My chest felt as if at any second, my lungs were going to collapse, the dirt surrounding me becoming the last thing I would ever see.
“Calm down, Piccolo.” I heard those words every time I closed my eyes. His deep voice basked me in a river of heat. Just thinking about him caused my heart to beat erratically.
I could do this—I had to do this. Standing up, I paced the small hole. How the hell did I get down here anyway? They probably fucking threw me… wouldn’t put it past them.
I needed to find a way out. I needed to do something even if it was dangerous, even if it provoked them to take action. If I didn’t, I surely would die down here.
Quietness surrounded me. The only sounds heard were the chirping of the birds and my own heartbeat. Where the hell did they go? No fucking way would they walk away leaving me here.
“Hey, fuckers, let me out of here,” I screamed. It wasn’t useless really. Yeah, my voice might hurt, but talking would annoy the fuck out of them, and eventually, one of them would have to come down here and do something about it. Then again, maybe all the noise would get someone’s attention.
“You are all a bunch of cowards. You think you are a man because you can keep me in this hole?” I continued on, my voice holding so much anger and hate, if I didn’t know I was the person screaming, I would think it was someone else.
Silence loomed, and instead of it doing something to calm me, it just pushed me closer and closer to the edge of boiling.
“Answer me, cowards. I’ve taken on bigger fucking men than you. You’re all sad excuses of the Mafia, FBI, or whatever the fuck it is you do…” I was really fucking close to kicking rocks, which was great since that’s all I could fucking kick—rocks or dirt.
More silence, great. I huffed out a breath just before I heard his disgusting voice. “You are really fucking mouthy…”
He had no clue. “Come down here and say that. We’ll see how mouthy I can be…” I was baiting him, and though he had the mask in place, and I could hardly make out his eyes, I knew there wasn’t much of a chance he would take the bait.
“Now I understand why your dad and Alzerro wanted to get fucking rid of you.” His words hit me harder than expected. I loved my dad more than anything. He was the last person alive I could run to if I needed something. I kept telling myself maybe he just screwed up and found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. The truth of the matter though—I knew he was the problem. What I didn’t know was if my father was in the FBI, and no one was giving me answers.
“My dad never wanted to get rid of me, and even if Alzerro doesn’t come for me, I’m going to get out of this fucking hole, and when I do, you better be running.” I knew, when faced with danger, being fearless was what I needed. If I were anything but fearless, I would grow weak, my mind would enclose on me, and the worries and doubts would eat away at anything left.
“That’s great and all, but until the moment comes, do you think you could possibly keep your yap shut?” Was he seriously asking me that?
“Fuck no, I can’t.” I all but snarled, and then I started screaming random words, names, lyrics, you name it and it was coming from my mouth in a haze.
“Shut the fuck up!” he growled. I could hear him rustling around with something, and I truthfully hoped he was going to let me out.
“Nope. I think the world would love to hear my voice.” I spoke loudly just to push him over the edge he was barely hanging onto.
“Fuck…” he growled. I jumped back as a ladder tumbled down the side of the hole. Was this real? Was he really giving me a way to get out?
I hesitated knowing it could be a trick, and now that I had what I wanted, what was I supposed to do… I had no weapons, and my self-defense moves looked like a toddler walking with an open cup.
Walking toward the ladder rope, I tugged on it roughly, making sure it was secured and in place.
“You coming up to show me your kick-ass moves, or are you staying in the hole?” He was giving me a choice? These fucking kidnappers or keepers were fucking dumb.
Instead of saying anything, I gently tugged on the rope again. This time to make sure it was safe. I mean, you could never be too cautious.
Small step by small step, I came to the top. The brightness of the sun consumed my eyes for a moment, black spots clouding my vision as a ball of anxiety rolled around in the pit of my stomach.
As soon as my hands touched the topsoil, I allowed a sigh to escape my lips as if I might finally be free. Free. I wanted to snort. As if I had really known what that ever felt like. It was such a dumb thought though because who knew what lie ahead. This could very well be some sick fucking trick. A game of sorts.
“She arrives…” asshole in a black mask says. His feet were mere millimeters from my hands. Fear gripped me by the throat as my mind worked through every scenario possible. What if he pushed me? I clamped my jaw closed forcing the thought away. If this fucker pushed me, I would end him. Whenever the fuck I got up. If I got up.
Gripping the topsoil and feeling the grass blades against my fingers sent a shiver down my spine. I felt as if I could finally breathe. The man stepped back allowing me to move upward on the ladder until I was almost out. Leaning forward, I pulled myself out of the hole and through the dirt and grass. As relieved as I should have felt, my muscles ached as I found myself in a compromising position on all fours. I pulled myself from my knees, getting my footing ever so slowly.
“Oh, no you don’t….” Asshole smirked as his hand landed on my shoulder like a heavy weight. My knees wobbled as his hand came down hard on my shoulder to keep me in place.
“Let go of me,” I said through gritted teeth. I was so over being treated like dirt. Kneeling down on his heels so we were eye level, I took in his face. Most, if not all of his olive skin was covered in
clothing, except his hands and the skin surrounding his eyelids. His eyes were a deep green, and within in them were the answers to the questions I longed to know.
His lips were thin and tilted down in a frown as if something about the predicament didn’t sit well with him. His other hand reached out and his thumb grazed the bottom of my chin. As if on reflex, I flinched away, turning my head away from him.
“I know why he wanted you… Your defiance can be smelled from miles away.” His breath is cool against my face, and I wanted to turn and spit right into it. My emotions were all over the place, but one thing was still true—I was mad as all fucking hell.
“I’m not defiant, asshole. I’m just not one for being held in a hole in the ground, having buckets of water thrown on me, and being talked down to like a fucking dog. Defiance isn’t even the word... to describe how you make me feel.” I was seething.
I watched as the side of his lips lifted into a half smile, as if what I was saying made him happy. It would. It would make him happy to see someone like me in this situation.
Within a blink of my eye, he was standing again, his voice raised as he laughed at me. Confusion settled into my bones. What the hell was he doing?
“I make you feel something? That’s hilarious.” I listened to him talk while coming to a stand as slow as possible. Could I make a run for it? No. They would shoot me.
“Do you even know why you’re here?” Asshole asked again as if I was actually listening to him. Since Zerro, I stared danger right in the eyes and laughed—something I could always thank him for, I guess.
“I think we went over this already, but let me tell you why I think I’m here.” I pause a moment surveying the land. There was a clearing with trees on all sides and we were deep in the woods. My breaths came in as pants as my eyes caught on an old rotting stump off in the distance.
“You were saying…” He mocked his eyes glittered with amusement, and though I could see he found something funny, there was a darker secret being kept in his eyes.
“You know something…” I growled, not even caring if my accusation got me thrown back in the hole. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down at me.
“And you know nothing…”
“Tell me.” I refused to allow him to taunt me. I need answers if he knows what happened to Zerro, and he knows what happened to my father then he’s more useful than I ever thought.
“Tell you what? That Zerro is dead and your father is hiding you in a hole near your own home?” My eyes grew big, and my heart raced as I took a step back. Did he say Zerro was dead? Wouldn’t I know? Wouldn’t I have felt something? But that wasn’t what shocked me the most. Oh, no. What shocked me most was the fact he said my father was hiding me.
“It’s shocking to see someone pulled from your life, isn’t it? Shocking to know your dear ole daddy isn’t the person you thought he was.” I don’t even notice the tear that escapes my eye. One single tear. One single fucking tear defines my life.
“He wasn’t pulled from my life. You know nothing about him as a person. As for my dad... he would never.” The words slipped from my mouth with ease as if I was meant to say them. Zerro had been an evil man, killing countless people. People who may or may not have deserved to die.
He was dark, cruel, and sometimes I hated him…. but something inside of me loved him, too. Then there was my dad. The only person I had left, the only man who would always love me.
Could he be capable of the accusations everyone seemed to want to accuse him of? Something inside me told me he was still the same person who held me every night as I cried because I had lost my mother. Something inside of me wouldn’t fully allow me to believe he would do such things.
Asshole smirked, his body eating up what little space separating us. He was a foot’s distance away from me once he spoke.
“I know he has more blood on his hands than anyone I know. I know he’s vindictive and willing to do anything in his power to seek revenge. I know, no matter what you think or want to believe, he isn’t coming for you. I know he doesn’t love you and it was all a game—”
“Stop.” I could barely get the one word out as a cascading waterfall of tears fell from my eyes. I was strong until the moment he told me my dad didn’t want me anymore until I heard the words come from his mouth.
“Why? Because you know it’s true, and it might actually pull you from whatever delusional place you are in your head?”
“Stop. You know nothing!” I yelled, reaching out to push him away with my hands.
“I do know something…” he barely whispered as he gripped my wrists stopping my attack on him.
“I know I was given direct orders to let you rot in this hole. To let you die.” What he said hits me straight in the chest as if someone had just knocked the wind out of me and my mind begins to reel. Would my father really put me in a hole to die? Would he allow others to torment me and treat me like shit?
“Liar,” I said between clenched teeth and with narrowed eyes.
“You know I’m not lying. You know this is your property. You know your father put you here... and now I’m letting you go.”
“Letting me go?” I whisper, taking a couple steps back. He was letting me go? This must me a joke. He would never let me go. Would he?
“Yes. Letting you go, but first, you have to do something for me.” If he couldn’t tell I was shocked, there was something wrong with him.
“I’m not doing anything for you.” My voice squeaked with anxiety.
“Yes, you are…” he yelled, his hands biting into my shoulders
“Get your fucking hands off me,” I yelled.
“Hit me,” he growled.
“What? No.” Was this guy on crack? His eyes looked fine and other than he had a part in kidnapping me, and in holding me against my will, he seemed, well… normal.
He smirked, and the look alone caused my belly to roll. “I bet I could get you to hit me… All I would have to do is slide my hand between those pretty little…”
“STOP! Leave me alone,” I cried, taking a step away from him. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or baiting me.
“Make me…” His voice held a darkness I wanted to run from. The green of his eyes grew darker in that one single moment. My eyes slid over his body landing on his feet as I watched him advance on me. Every step he took, I matched with a step back.
“Just let me go. I’ll run as fast as I can and you can tell them whatever you want,” I cried, real fear burrowing into my mind.
“Your dad is a fucking monster just like the man you claim to love. Neither one of them wants you anymore. I mean, seriously—if they did, don’t you think they would have come for you already? You are nothing more than a fucking bargaining piece to them. They used you! Used you to bring the other one down... and after I see how sweet that cunt of yours is, you are dead.”
He was lying. Wasn’t he?
“Stop lying to me,” I screamed as I pulled my hair, fighting myself for the last bit of sanity I had left. Before I could convince myself this was a part of his game, I whipped my hand out and slapped him across his face. The instant burn soothed the raging storm inside of me as I watched a smirk come across his face.
“That’s it, darling. Get mad, get fucking angry,” he spewed at me right before he stretched his arms out as if he were the king of the fucking world.
“Look around, take a good look. It’s not a lie. All the proof you need is in front of you, behind you. It’s surrounding you, for fuck’s sake, if you would only open your eyes,” he whispered his breath against my cheek. He was lying. He had to be. What did he know?
“How do I know? Oh, I know everything.” He answered my question as if he could read my mind.
“Stop. Just stop. I’ll do whatever you want…” I held my hands out stopping any further assault by him. His hard chest brushed against my fingers. The warmth of his skin against mine sparked something in me.
“If I threw you on the ground r
ight now and fucked the daylights out of you, what would you do? Would you scream?” He joked with a small laugh leaving his lips. “Better yet, I bet you would love it… You would love my cock.”
My already clenched fist reached out slamming into the side of his jaw. My skin stung with the connection, but I wasn’t sure if I did any good since he was still standing there and looked about ten times more pissed off.
“Kick me…” he gritted out. It was then I knew he had baited me. He wanted to get a rouse out of me. Giving him a you’re-fucking-crazy-and-you-know-it look, I pulled back and kicked him right in the shin. Then I did it again for good measure…
“Fuck…” I heard him mutter under his breath as he grabbed at his leg.
“Now run…” Run? He wanted me to run away? What if they found me?
“But…”
“No buts, fucking run. Run until you get to the house. Tell Zerro he owes me one.” He winked at me as he lay on the ground as if I had actually kicked his ass. Inside, I smiled, but deep in the bottom of my belly, a snake of anxiety slithered its way through me. If he allowed me to go, what awaited me once I got to the house? I didn’t know, but I was about to find out. I took off in a dead run toward the stump. I would find out what my father’s intentions were all along. And that was my final thought as I forced myself to pick up the pace knowing the enemy could be on my heels at any second. The harshness of the air I was taking in almost broke me, but I wouldn’t stop running. No. I couldn’t stop running—not when my life depended on it.
4
Zerro
My body was begging for me to kill someone, something, anything. I wanted revenge, but more than that, I wanted answers. I wanted to know what the fuck happened. Why Mack had betrayed me, where Bree was, and if her father actually killed my mom.
The only way I knew how to get these answers would end up taking me back down a long road to where it all started. John’s house. Bree’s childhood home. As I parked the SUV at the end of the driveway, I looked down the long dirt road. I had asked myself this question a number of times. Would I really be able to kill him? I mean, it wasn’t really a question of whether I would kill him or not. More so, would Bree forgive me if she were still alive? The very fact I was even thinking about it bothering her told me she had weaseled her way deep into my skin.