Relative-ly Speaking

by Karen D. Badger

  Jen squeezed Billie's hands. "Well, sweetie, I don't think you'll have to go quite that far," Jen said.

  A glimmer of hope shone in Billie's eyes. "I hope that means you have some good advice for me," she said hesitantly.

  "I have some advice. I don't know how good it is, but I do have some advice," Jen replied.

  "Well, spill it," Billie demanded anxiously.

  "Billie, how many of the late nights were spent at the office finishing up paperwork? How many of those nights could have been spent finishing up paperwork at home instead of in the office?" she asked.

  Billie met Jen's raised eyebrows with a pair of her own, a smile breaking out on her face. "You might have something there," she exclaimed. "You know, now that I think about it, most of the late nights were spent doing just that…filing motions in the computer, transposing notes from meetings with clients. Jen, you're right. What's to stop me from doing those things on my laptop at home?"

  "Bingo," Jen said. "You see, I don't think Cat is envious of your promotion, and I certainly don't think she'd want you to give it up. But I do think she is concerned about the time your promotion is taking away from her and the family. So, doing some of the follow-up work at home might be a good compromise. Sure, you'd be focused on your job, but you'd be there, available to them if they needed you. You know, sometimes Fred and I can be in the same room for hours without saying a word to each other, but just being there together is enough. See what I mean?" she asked.

  Billie grinned ear to ear. "How'd you get so smart?" she asked her friend.

  "It's about time you noticed, Big Guy. Now be a good girl and pay the check. It's time you head home to your family. I'm sure Cat could use a big hug right now," Jen said.

  "Now that's the best advice I've heard yet. Let's go," Billie exclaimed as she rose to her feet.

  Moments later, they pulled into the driveway of Jen's house. As Jen made a move to get out of the car, Billie reached for her arm. Jen looked at her friend and watched as she struggled to find the right words to properly thank her for what she had done.

  Jen touched the side of Billie's face with her free hand and whispered, "You're welcome."

  "I love you. You know that, don't you?" Billie asked spontaneously.

  Jen placed a quick kiss on Billie’s lips. "Ditto, Big Guy. Ditto," she replied. She climbed out of the car and closed the door then leaned down to look into the open window. "Now go home before I kick your ass," she said.

  "Oh, I'm scared," Billie joked as she shifted the car into reverse and pulled out of the driveway.

  ***

  Billie pulled into the driveway exactly one hour after she had left. As she entered the kitchen, she was nearly run down by an eight-year-old bundle of energy.

  "Mommy, you came back," Sky screamed excitedly as Billie lifted her into her arms. Skylar proceeded to wrap herself around Billie, hugging her tightly.

  Hearing the commotion from the living room, Cat walked to the doorway separating it from the kitchen, and leaned against the doorframe.

  Billie looked around the human octopus that was clinging tightly to her to cast a questioning glance in Cat's direction before addressing her daughter. "Of course, I came back, rugrat. What made you think otherwise?" she asked.

  Skylar finally released Billie's neck and leaned back so she could see her mother's face. "I thought you went to live with Uncle Art again," the child explained.

  Billie's eyes filled with tears. Trying desperately not to cry, she forced a smile onto her face and calmed her daughter's fears. "Sweetheart, I just needed to go out for a while. In fact, I went to have a cup of coffee with Aunt Jen, that's all. Honey, I love you, and Seth, and Tara, and Mama. Why would I want to leave?" she asked.

  Sky shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," she replied. "I just remember before when you went to live with Uncle Art, and I was really, really sad," she explained.

  Billie pushed an errant lock of hair behind the little girl's ear. "Well, there's no way you're getting rid of me, partner. I'm here to stay. Don't you worry about it anymore, okay?" she asked.

  Skylar grinned from ear to ear. "Okay," she said, hugging her mother once more. "Mama said not to worry too. She promised you would come back, and you did," she exclaimed, hugging Billie once more.

  "Yes I did," Billie said. "Mama's pretty smart, isn't she?" she added, looking over Skylar's shoulder at Cat, who stood there with tears running down her face…very much reflecting the ones in Billie's eyes.

  "Yep. Mama is the smartest person in the world," Skylar agreed.

  Billie reached a free hand toward Cat, who took it instantly. She embraced both her wife and child, laying her cheek on top of Cat's head and rocking her bundle back and forth. The trio finally broke apart wiping traces of tears from their faces.

  Skylar quickly grew bored with her parents and wiggled free of Billie's arms. She scrambled to the floor and ran back into the living room to watch cartoons again.

  After watching her daughter go, Cat wrapped her arms around Billie's waist. "So you went for coffee with Jen?" she asked.

  Billie flashed a crooked smile then lowered her forehead to meet Cat's. "Yeah," she replied. "I swear we're gonna owe her a fortune for psychiatric visits," she joked.

  "So, did Dr. Swenson give you any good advice?" Cat asked softly.

  Billie placed a light kiss at the end of Cat's nose. "Yes, she did." Billie paused for a moment before continuing. "Look, Cat, I know I've been neglecting you and the kids by staying at work late into the night and neglecting my responsibilities here at home," she began before Cat interrupted her.

  "Billie, please," Cat sputtered.

  Billie placed a silencing finger over Cat's mouth. "Shhh. Listen to me, Cat. I know what the problem has been over the past month. It's a clear as day now that Jen has opened my eyes," she said.

  Billie released Cat and paced around the kitchen while Cat followed her movements with her eyes.

  "Cat, I thought it was my promotion. I thought you were angry or jealous about it, but I was wrong."

  In three long strides, she crossed the room and stood in front of Cat.

  "I was wrong, Cat. It's not my promotion that's upsetting you, it's the effect my promotion has had on this family."

  Cat grinned as she watched her Billie fall into lawyer mode while she paced across the room.

  "I was so blind. When I actually took the time to look at what was upsetting you, I was sick with self-loathing. God, Cat, do you realize that in the past month since my promotion, I have been late nine times? And that includes three dates that I canceled on you. Damn, no wonder you've been upset with me." Billie stopped in front Cat. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat if I thought I was losing you," she added.

  Cat's eyes flew open. "Don't you dare give it up. Are you out of your mind? Billie, you've worked so hard and have made so many sacrifices to get where you are. Don't you dare give it up. Do you hear me?" she admonished sharply.

  Billie drew Cat into an embrace and held her close. "Jen said you would say that," she said, her voice thick with emotion.

  "Well, Jen was right," Cat replied, clinging desperately to her wife.

  "I won't give it up, Cat. I promise, but I do need to make some changes. I need to be home more often," Billie explained. "Jen suggested that I do more of the follow-up work here at home, on my laptop. I'd still be working, but at least I'd be here with you and the kids," she finished, scanning Cat's face carefully for her reaction.

  Cat's face was suddenly lit by a smile that completely filled her eyes. She nodded her head vigorously. "Billie, that's a wonderful idea," she finally said, stepping into Billie's embrace.

  "Yeah, I thought so too," Billie agreed. "I'm actually looking forward to bringing work home on Monday. It's so damned lonely there at night…all alone after everyone else has gone home to their families. Geesh. I don't know why I didn't think of this myself," Billie admonished.

  Cat placed her hand on the side
of Billie's face. "Well, love," she said. "Sometimes, it's difficult to see the forest through the trees."

  Billie smiled. "Sky-baby was right. You are the smartest person in the world," she exclaimed.

  "No, love, that would be Jen. That would definitely be Jen," Cat replied as she and Billie laughed.

  ***

  "All right now, everyone come over here and sit in the first two pews. Good. Thank you for joining us. Dylan, is everyone here?" asked the elderly priest.

  Dylan looked around at the group that had gathered. "Everyone except Bob," Dylan replied, sitting back down.

  "He'll probably be late for his own funeral," Cat whispered to Billie.

  Billie furrowed her brow and looked back at her wife. "What do you mean?" she asked.

  "He was late for dinner the other night too. He made quite a grand entrance if I remember correctly," Cat explained.

  "I swear he'll be late for his own funeral, Padre. Let's get started without him," Dylan instructed the priest.

  Cat and Billie smiled at each other when Dylan repeated Cat's thoughts.

  "All right then, I'll give you a bit of instruction, then we'll walk through it a couple of times. Okay?" the priest asked. "Now, Dylan, you'll be standing up here at the altar waiting for Drew. Seth, when you see your uncle standing over there," the priest said, pointing to the far side of the altar, "you can walk your grandmother down the aisle and seat her in the front pew next to your grandfather, then go over to join your Uncle Dylan at the altar. At that time, the music will start and the ushers and bridesmaids will begin walking down the aisle in pairs. Be sure to leave adequate distance between you. If you count to ten before starting down the aisle that should be just about right. Is everything clear so far?" the priest stopped to ask, looking around at the nodding heads. "Good. Now…" he began again before being interrupted by a noise at the back of the church.

  "Yo! Sorry I'm late," Bob called loudly.

  Billie and Cat simultaneously looked to the back of the church.

  "Well, the prodigal son returns," Cat said sarcastically.

  "That's Bob?" Billie asked, raising her eyebrows into her hairline.

  "Yep. That's the guy you get to walk down the aisle with," Cat replied, grinning ear to ear.

  "Wonderful," Billie replied sarcastically. "He looks like a little boy."

  "It gets worse, my love. You'll be about a foot taller than him in those heels," Cat said dryly.

  "With any luck, he'll make a Barney remark and I'll have an excuse to kill him," Billie joked, drawing a chuckle and a slap on the arm from Cat.

  "Behave," Cat reprimanded lightly.

  "Well, young man, I'm glad you could make it," interjected the priest. "I'm Father Couture, and I'll be performing the ceremony. If you'd like to join the rest of the folks here, we'll continue our instruction," he concluded.

  "Sure, Father," Bob replied innocently, slipping into the pew next to Cat.

  "Okay, now, where were we...oh, yes, after the three sets of ushers and bridesmaids have started down the aisle, they will be followed by the flower girl. That would be you, little one," the priest said, smiling to Skylar sitting on Billie's lap. "Be sure to throw the rose petals around as you walk down the aisle, okay?"

  Skylar smiled and squirmed at being the center of attention.

  "Mrs. Stafford," he said, addressing Laurel, "When the little one reaches the end of the aisle, she'll sit with you and your husband. After the flower girl, comes the maid of honor, then the bride, escorted by her father. Drew and Mr. O'Grady, be sure to leave a substantial amount of space between you and the maid of honor...at least a twenty-count. The bride and her father will be followed by the train-bearer, who I believe is this young lady over there. Tara, is it?" he asked, drawing a nod from Tara. "You'll need to be sure you keep up a steady pace behind your aunt so as to not tug on her gown. When they reach the altar, you'll need to arrange her train neatly to one side, then go to stand next to the bridesmaids. Okay, that's about it. Let's take it through a dry run to see how it goes," he finished, prompting everyone to take their positions.

  At the back of the church, chaos reigned until Cat stepped in and decided that they should walk down aisle in age order, placing Amy and Joe first, followed by Bridget and Kevin, then Billie and Bob. Once that was decided, they quickly organized and began the rehearsal.

  "All right, the guests have been seated and the time is approaching to start the ceremony," the priest began.

  "Seth, the wedding starts promptly at ten, so at three minutes before ten, you'll walk your Grandma down the aisle, then stand by your uncle. All right. Let's begin."

  Offering his arm to Ida, Seth slowly walked her down the aisle and seated her in the front pew.

  "Very good," Father Couture said as Seth joined Dylan. "Now, the first set of attendants," he directed as Joe and Amy walked in step, followed ten seconds later by Bridget and Kevin.

  As Bridget and Kevin began the descent, Billie positioned herself in the center of the aisle and waited for Bob to join her. Looking around for her partner, she noticed that he was engaging Cat and Drew in conversation.

  "Ahem, ah, Bob, let's go, it's our turn," she called over to the group.

  Bob immediately left the two ladies and joined Billie in the center of the aisle. "Sorry about that," he said, looking up at her and rocking back and forth on his heels before heading down the aisle. "So, you're Billie, huh?" he asked.

  "That would be me," she replied, allowing an uncomfortable silence to settle between them as they made their way slowly toward the altar.

  "Cat told me you were tall," he said.

  Billie smiled to herself, knowing she was intimidating the guy. "Yep," she replied. Once again, a heavy silence fell between them.

  Billie could feel the relief washing over Bob as they reached the altar and parted ways to stand on separate sides with the other attendants. Bob sent shy, uncomfortable looks in Billie's direction as they watched Skylar walk down the aisle followed by Cat, and finally Drew and Doc.

  After Doc delivered Drew to the altar, and seated himself beside Ida, Tara pretended to arrange the imaginary train around Drew’s feet and then stood beside Billie. Father Couture once again addressed the group.

  "Very good, one and all. Now that we know what we're doing, let's run through it one more time to get our timing down," the priest instructed as the wedding party once more lined up at the back of the church.

  "Amy, Joe. Good! Now, Bridget and Kevin. That's right. And finally, Billie, Bob…your turn. Great," Father Couture commented as each couple started their trek down the aisle.

  "Heh-heh, Billie-Bob. We sound like a redneck," Bob chuckled as they walked side by side.

  Billie narrowed her eyes at the shorter man by her side, causing him to gulp.

  "Ah, sorry about that. Honestly. I didn't mean anything by it," he stammered.

  After the rehearsal, the group congregated outside the church, where Bob quite brazenly flirted with Amy while Joe stood by glaring at them.

  "Don't like him much, do you?" Billie said, coming up behind Joe.

  Joe looked at his sister-in-law. "No, I don't. Can you blame me?" he asked.

  Billie looked at Bob who had his arm around Amy and was whispering something in her ear. "No, I guess I can't. He makes one move on Cat, and he's dead meat," Billie added.

  Joe grinned. "I don't think you have to worry about that. He's scared shitless of you," he said.

  "I can't imagine why," Billie commented innocently.

  "Like hell you can't," Joe chuckled, falling silent.

  "Don't let him do it, Joe," Billie said. "Don't let him take what's yours."

  Joe stood next to Billie, both of them watching Amy and Bob flirting openly. "I don't own her, Billie, any more than you own Cat. She's her own woman. I can't stop her if that's what she really wants," he said sadly.

  "Is it what she really wants?" Billie asked. She turned to her brother-in-law and decided to openly speak her mind. She p
laced a hand on Joe's shoulder and turned him toward her.

  "Look Joe, maybe there's a reason for Amy's behavior. I mean, when was the last time you let Amy know this kind of behavior bothers you?" she asked.

  "Billie, I don't want her to think I'm trying to control her. Our marriage has never been that way. I've always treated her as an equal. I mean, I'm not a Neanderthal like Kevin," he explained.

  "No you're not, but maybe she needs you to be, just this once. Maybe she's trying to get a reaction out of you. Maybe she needs some kind of confirmation that you still love her and are willing to fight for her," Billie said.

  Joe diverted his gaze from his wife to look Billie directly in the eyes. "Do you think so?" he asked.

  Billie shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know for sure, Joe, but my gut tells me, yes," she answered.

  Joe turned his gaze back to his wife and nodded his head repeatedly, remaining silent while he contemplated Billie's remarks.

  "Billie, sweetheart, the kids are getting restless. Maybe we should head home," Cat called to her.

  "I'll be right there, love," Billie replied.

  Sliding her hand from Joe's shoulder, Billie rubbed his back. "You think about it, Joe. I really believe she loves you. It's certainly worth a try," she said before turning to go.

  CHAPTER 19

  "Josephine Wycliffe, you do not need another drink," Alexandra Spirakis scolded from her place in the window seat.

  "Alex, my dear, you forced me to get into this flying bucket of bolts, now you're gonna have to live with it," Jo replied, motioning to the flight attendant. "Another whiskey, please," she ordered.

  "I swear. You act like it's the first time you've flown," Alex exclaimed.

  "It's the first time I've flown in a plane I've had to duck in to walk down the aisle, and I'm only knee-high to a grasshopper," Jo complained.

  Alex gently slapped Josephine on the arm while she straightened her hair with the other hand. "Now, you know that's not true, Josie. What about the time you flew that two-seater all by yerself over Cairo?" she asked.