“I’m feeling less fatalistic, thank you. I’m glad you had a safe journey home.”
“It was pleasant enough.”
The conversation was stilted, and Tina hated it. She wanted the Max who would tease her out of her mood, argue with her, and seduce her with his tongue. This Max seemed to be channeling her with his cool aloofness. She didn’t like it.
“Is something wrong, Max?” She wasn't in the mood for games this evening.
“No. Why do you ask?”
“You seem somewhat aloof. Are you punishing me for something I did wrong?”
Tina knew she was spoiling for a fight, and the logical side of her brain knew it was just so she would have something to occupy her mind other than the sorrow she was so busily trying to avoid.
Max chuckled, which pissed her off even more. “I don’t know. Did you do something wrong?”
She chose to ignore the question, saying instead, “You’ll be pleased to hear that Seth and Mark agree with you, so it looks like I’ll be coming to Lauenstein after all.”
The pause before he answered her was full of meaning, but she was too distraught to try and figure it out.
“How do you know where you’re going? I haven’t sent you the particulars as yet.”
“No, you haven’t, have you? I had to hear it from my friends who for some insane reason happen to know all about this country I've never heard of. What’s with all the cloak and dagger stuff, Max?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t mention it before. As you know, we were sidetracked a number of times. And after yesterday I didn’t think it would be appropriate to mention it until after the funeral.”
“Well, your secret’s out now, so you might as well give me the details. I’ll need to put it in my calendar.”
“Will you let me book the flights for you, and arrange accommodation? You can always pay me back when you get here.”
“That’s no good. What if you book me on first class and I can only afford economy?”
“I’ll bear the difference,” he said. “It’s just that it would set my mind at ease if you let me make these arrangements for you. Consider it my gift to you.”
Tina sighed. “Oh Max, I’m the one who owes you gifts. What have I done for you lately?”
“It’s not a gift for what you’ve done for me. It’s a thank you gift, for agreeing to come during your period of mourning.”
“You’re a smooth one, you know that? I’ll think about it.”
“You have until the day after the funeral to do so. If I haven’t heard from you by then, I’ll go ahead and make the arrangements.”
She thought about it for a second. “Fair enough. It seems like there’s so much to be done, even for an old woman who had no family other than me and no assets to speak of, so I’ll probably be run off my feet for a few more days.”
“You should get some rest,” he said. “If I remember correctly, you have to go and see the urn and headstone you’ve chosen tomorrow.”
“You were paying attention, I see.” It pleased her that he had. “That’s in the morning, and then I have to make sure they have the correct flower order. I know the funeral home is responsible, but I’d like to reconfirm. Then I have to do some work with her lawyer…well, my lawyer helping me with her legal stuff. It might take a few days.”
“So I will leave you to rest, then.” Max sounded almost as reluctant to go as she was to have him leave. “I may be out of touch for a few days, but I promise to call you as soon as I can, and definitely before the funeral.”
“Thank you. Take care yourself,” she said.
“I always do. Goodnight, milaya.”
“Goodnight, Max.” She made a mental note to ask him what that word meant.
Chapter 11: Passion Unleashed
Max stood at the back of the small chapel and watched as the service of farewell for Tina’s grandmother proceeded. Tina did not know that he was there. He had instructed his security detail to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible, so as not to give away the secret he still kept from her. He could not stay for long, but he had been determined to return to be with her when she said her final goodbyes. The service was almost over and the pastor was declaring the final blessings on the bereaved and the departed.
Max moved back into the shadows as the pallbearers lifted the beautiful teak coffin and carried it forward, placing it on the runner that would take it into the burning heart of the furnace. Then the mourners left, all except for Tina, who remained standing in the first row, her friends on either side of her, as the great maw opened and her grandmother’s coffin was engulfed in the flames. No one moved until the doors slid down. Then she turned and walked out a side door, unaware of his presence.
He returned to his vehicle, where his bodyguard and Peter sat waiting. “I expect she is making arrangements for the disposal of the ashes. I’ll give her a few minutes and then go to find her. Wait for me here.”
After five minutes, Max could wait no longer. It had been two weeks since he had last seen Tina, and they had only spoken once in all that time, because the planning for his coronation was in full swing, and there was still the business of state to attend to. He had had two meetings out of state, one with the King of Bahrain, the other with the Sovereign Prince of Monaco. He had to return to Lauenstein the next day to prepare for a reception to end their annual weeklong Winter Festival.
He met her as she was walking out into the cold December afternoon. She was alone, for which he was grateful. Her head was bowed, so she did not see him.
“Tina.”
Her eyes, when she looked up and saw him, told him how deeply wounded she was on this last day with her grandmother. He reached for her, pulling her into his arms and holding her while she sobbed quietly. He had watched her hold herself erect for the entire service, and had listened as she eulogized her grandmother with dry eyes. But he knew the depth of her grief, and he knew that she had built up her walls to help her through the ordeal.
“I am here, little one.”
He stroked her back, loving the feel of her body against his and the cool touch of the elegant black dress she wore. The stiletto heels on her boots brought her up to his chin, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into a secure place to kiss her. But she had responsibilities that he understood only too well.
“I didn't know you were here, Max,” she said at last, raising her tear-drenched face to his.
He extracted a hanky from his coat pocket and mopped up her face. “I didn’t wish to intrude,” he told her, “but I wanted to be here for you.”
“Will you come back to the apartment for the repast?”
“Not for long, milaya. I have to be back in time for a reception tomorrow. But I could not stay away from you today, of all days.”
She reached up to cup his cheeks in her gloved hands. “How many times have I told you in the past month how kind you are?”
He smiled. “Too many to count,” he told her.
“Thank you, Max.” She stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheeks. “You are a very good ambassador for your country.”
He wanted her mouth on his, but she wasn’t ready for him to unleash the passion that had been building from two weeks away from her. They were still only friends. He forced himself to step away from the yielding warmth of her body and said,
“I’ll come with you in the limousine. Were you traveling alone?”
“Yes. I’d appreciate the company.”
“Just let me tell my men. They will follow behind us.”
With new instructions in place, Max led Tina to the limousine, avoiding the small knot of people who were still milling about in front of the chapel. Then he slid in next to her, and they waited while the other mourners found their cars and lined up for the long drive back to her apartment. He drew her into his arms, raising the privacy screen as much to avoid being recognized as to give her room to fall apart if she needed to do so.
“I’ve missed you.”
Three si
mple words, but they struck Max to the core. “I have missed you, too. We have grown close despite your best efforts to slow the process. And I for one am glad of it.”
She smacked him in the arm. “I’m allowed to protect myself from being hurt.”
He grinned. “Yes, you are, little one. But you must know that I will never hurt you.”
She turned to look at him, her brown eyes warm and knowing. “You can’t know that,” she said. “No one can. Sometimes we hurt others without meaning to.”
He nodded. No point in arguing with her when what he really wanted to do was devour her. The black dress was form-fitting, the top of it a tasteful lace that let her dark skin shine through. He could see the valley between her breasts as she leaned into him, and he wondered if she was wearing a bra. She smelled like peonies and sunshine.
“Have you missed our kisses?” he asked.
He tilted her chin up so that she had to look him in the eye. She lowered her lashes after a moment, and he lowered his head and sealed her mouth with his. The feel of her lips beneath his set off sparks in his blood. He followed the line of her lips with his own until she opened to let him in, and then he sucked on her tongue. She moaned and he let her go.
“I’ll take that as a yes. I missed them, too.”
“Will you come up?” she asked when they got to her apartment.
“I will come up later. I have a meeting in the city, but I will return this evening.”
He was glad that he had a ready-made excuse for not going up to the repast until the others were gone. He wanted her alone, and he wanted to ensure that her friends did not get a chance to see him, in case they recognized him and told her before he could who he was. Perhaps he could tell her this evening…he would see.
The meeting in midtown Manhattan lasted for two and half hours, and Max was glad when he could finally relax against the seat on his way back to Tina. His personal guard followed him up to her apartment, then made themselves invisible while Max rang the bell and waited. Tina opened the door, still dressed in her funeral attire, but barefooted.
“Come in. The others have gone.”
He walked in and noted the many cards and bouquets scattered around her living room.
“Would you like some food? Something to drink?”
He followed her into the kitchen and spun her around. “I would like to kiss you again, to feel you pressed up against me. Then, when that hunger is satisfied, I will eat whatever you choose to give me. Unless you have some objection?”
She slid her hands up his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck as he lowered his head for the first of many hot, hard kisses. The small part of him that was still in possession of all his faculties hoped that she would not withdraw after this. He was tired of playing cat-and mouse with her. He wanted to move forward. These last two weeks had shown him that he was ready to take things to the next level. And these wild kisses were a good start.
Eventually, he dragged his lips away from her hungry mouth. His body was hard as stone, and he could feel her trembling slightly from the excess of passion.
“Perhaps I should eat something now,” he whispered, kissing her hair before stepping away from her.
He watched her prepare him a plate of food, and settled into a chair in the living room when she brought it in on a tray with a bottle of wine and two glasses. He ate everything she set before him, and sat back at last to sip his second glass of wine.
“The food was delicious,” he said. “My compliments to the chef.”
“I’ll pass them on to Mark,” she said with a smile. “I’ve already told him that I want him to cater my wedding. He’s an amazing cook.”
“How did you meet him?” He was curious about her life before they met.
Tina told him all about the museum showing of Seth’s work, and how she had bought one of his prints after they had been talking about it and she had discovered that he was the artist. And afterwards, he had invited her to dinner with his husband and the professor who had curated the exhibition.
“They are two of the best human beings I know,” she said. “Quiet, unassuming, but with huge hearts and great wisdom and intelligence. And they share a wicked sense of humor.”
“They sound like a wonderful couple. Is that what you admire about them?”
She looked over at him with a smile. “Yes. They are nothing like people stigmatize gay people to be. And it distresses me to know that they are still subject to prejudice and vulnerable to attack in some circles.” She paused, and Max had the feeling that she was about to tell him something important. “I thought, for a while, that you were a part of that circle.”
His eyebrows rose in shock. “What? Why would you think so ill of me?”
“Well, I had led you to believe that Seth was single, and then when I mentioned his husband, you seemed to grow distant. It upset me to think that you had feet of clay, after all.”
He sipped more wine. “I freely admit to being clay-footed,” he said, thinking of the secret he still kept from her, “just not in that regard. You sound as though you would have ended our friendship over my possible homophobia.”
“I would have. I’ve only known you a month, and while I’ve learned a lot about you, there’s a whole lot more that I don’t know. I’ve known them for eight years. Time trumps all.”
“Fair enough. Hopefully when you come to Lauenstein, we will be able to make up for lost time.”
Max stood up and cleared away the tray, leaving the wine on the coffee table. When he returned, Tina was sitting in his chair.
“Isn’t there a fairy tale about a little girl with golden locks and three bears and furniture?” he asked with a grin. “Have you found the chair that fits you just right?”
She looked up at him from under her lashes, a coquettish move that he would never have expected from her, and replied,
“I see a chair that will fit me right if the owner is in it with me.”
Max grinned and went to pull her out of the chair, settling her in his lap when he sat down. “Better?”
“Much.”
He stroked her back when she lay her head on his chest. “What happened to the buttoned-up, controlled woman who refused to let anyone breach her walls?”
A protracted sigh escaped her. “Her Grannie died, and she feels lost.”
Max did not reply. He would take this new Tina no matter how she came to be where she was. He kept stroking her back, her arms, her sides, letting his thumb skim the curve of her breasts, delighting in the shivers that grew more pronounced the longer he caressed her.
“I’m forty years old, Max. Why do I feel so lost? It’s humiliating!” The words burst from her, an angry confession and a judgment.
“I am thirty-six, and I often feel lost. It’s part of being human, isn’t it? We do not always know our way. Why should you feel humiliated?”
“I’m an adult. Grief is supposed to be more…dignified, more refined, more grown-up than this terrible gaping wound that hurts no matter what I do. I knew Grannie was going to die. Her death should not have been such a surprise, and definitely not such a blow to my sense of security.”
“Each person in the world is different, Tina. You know this. You write about them all the time. We process our stresses differently. For example, would you ever have thought that you would be processing your grief by trying to seduce a man you think you should be more wary of?”
“Is that what you think I’m doing?” she asked in a horrified tone.
“It is exactly what you’re doing. You need a distraction from the confusion of your feelings. Grief is like that, and how we cope depends on what our deepest needs are.”
She leaned away from him to stare into his eyes. “So you’re saying I need to sleep with you as a distraction and a way to process my grief?”
“Something like that, yes.”
This talk of seduction was not helping Max’s case, and in a moment more, if she kept up the subtle swaying of her hips that she seemed
not to be aware that she was doing, she would notice his interest as it rose to the occasion. She moved against him suddenly, as though she were searching for something. Max knew what she was looking for, and it swelled as she slid backward against his thighs.
“We were here once before,” she reminded him, sliding her hips forward. “Remember?” Backward slide. “You stopped me.”
Max fought to remain calm. He wanted to give in to her seduction, but he didn’t want her to want him merely so she could wear herself out enough to forget her pain. He wanted her to want him so she could enjoy the passion they would stir up between them.
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