“I want her back. I miss her.”
“You have Tori now. She loves you very much.”
“She’s my new mommy. I miss my old one. I don’t want her to be in heaven.”
He knew only too well how the little girl felt. “My mommy is in heaven, too. And I miss her every day.”
“Do you want her back?”
“Sometimes. But I know she’s happy with Jesus, and I want her to be happy.”
Lily started to cry, and Reid instinctively lifted her onto his lap. She shifted and wrapped her arms around his neck as she cried. “It’s okay to miss her, Lily. Why don’t you tell me about your mommy and I’ll tell you about mine?”
The little head nodded. Reid pulled a napkin from the holder and wiped her tears.
“Lily, it’s time to get ready for school.”
Reid glanced up and met Tori’s concerned gaze. He dabbed at Lily’s tears and gave her a little squeeze. “We’ll talk about our moms after school. Okay?”
Lily nodded, then reached her arms out for her mother. Tori gathered her close. “I love you, Lily.”
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
Tori caught his eye and mouthed, Thank you.
He had the oddest sense of accomplishment. He’d helped Lily and pleased Tori. Maybe he could handle this family-man thing after all.
After Lily left the room Tori faced him, her blue eyes filled with worry. “What happened?”
“No idea. She was eating her breakfast, and suddenly she stopped and wanted Judy.”
Tori nodded. “I never know what will trigger her sadness. For a while it was rain. She’d cry and huddle in my lap until it stopped. It was raining the day Judy died, so I guess in her mind there was some kind of connection. Poor little thing can’t understand death. I wonder if I should have stayed in California, where things were familiar to her. I thought it was best to start over, and I needed the help of my family. But now I’m wondering.”
Reid sat down. “You’re being too hard on yourself. You’re doing a great job. You just need to trust your judgment.”
“That’s what scares me. My judgment hasn’t been very good over the years.” She stared at the countertop, idly rubbing a spot on the surface. “I didn’t want to become Lily’s guardian. I tried to tell Judy it was a bad idea, but she insisted. How could I refuse her dying request?”
He hadn’t expected that. “Why didn’t you want to be her guardian?”
“Because I didn’t want to let Judy down, or Lily. You know my track record, three failed relationships and a string of unrelated careers.”
Was she saying she wanted out of her guardianship? “Do you still feel that way?”
“No. I love Lily. But at the time, the responsibility of raising her was terrifying, and I didn’t feel I could handle it.”
He’d heard this song before. The tune was familiar. “I imagine my brother felt much the same way when Judy told him she was pregnant. The responsibility of parenthood and being a husband must have been overwhelming to a man who’d been aimless most of his adult life.”
The stunned look in Tori’s eyes revealed his remark had hit home. He had no desire to hurt her when she was feeling vulnerable, but he had little time left to give Eddie what he wanted most. The glare she sent in his direction burned all the way to his soles. He watched her walk away, stiff-backed and hands fisted at her side.
He was out of ideas on how to make her see. The only thing left was heartfelt prayer.
* * *
Reid’s truck was missing from the driveway when Tori returned from taking Lily to school. She’d lost her irritation toward Reid, and even had to admit his comment had been painfully true. She had wanted to run from responsibility the same way his brother had. The difference was, she’d stepped up despite her fears. Eddie had turned tail and run. Sadly, though, she now had insight into Lily’s father, which rounded off another of his hard edges.
Tori welcomed the silence of the old home. She needed time to think. About Reid, about herself and about how to resolve their impasse. A glance at the repair list suggested Reid had probably gone to the hardware store. It had become an ongoing joke. He made at least three trips daily to the store and was on a first-name basis with the owner and the employees.
An unfamiliar ringtone rose into the air. Reid’s phone was on the counter. It wasn’t like him to forget it. She debated whether to answer it or let it go to voice mail. But what if the call was important? She glanced at the name on the screen—and winced. Eddie. Reid’s brother. Maybe she should answer in case something was wrong. Scooping up the phone, she hit the accept button. “Hello.”
Silence hung heavily on the other end. She waited a moment longer.
“Is this Miss Montgomery?” The voice was soft and a bit shaky.
“Yes.”
“This is Eddie, Reid’s brother.”
“I know who you are.”
“Yes, of course. I’m glad to have a chance to talk to you.”
Here it comes. The plea for her to change her mind.
“I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate you taking care of my little girl. It’s a wonderful thing you’ve done, becoming her guardian. Reid has told me how devoted you are to her. It gives me tremendous peace knowing she’ll be raised by someone who loves her as much as her mother did.”
Not what she’d expected. She sank onto the kitchen stool. “Thank you. She’s a very sweet child.”
“I’m sure. Her mother was a sweet woman.” Muffled coughing broke his speech. “I want to thank you for allowing Reid to take pictures of my girl. She’s a real beauty.”
Tori didn’t want to hear this. She steeled herself to remain detached. “Can I take a message? Reid ran to the hardware store. He should be back any moment.”
“No. I just wanted to hear his voice. I get lonely sometimes. He’s always a great comfort. Just tell him I called.”
“I will.”
“Miss Montgomery, I want you to know I pray for you and for Lily every day.”
“Thank you. That’s very kind.”
“God bless.”
Tori stared at the phone after the call ended. Eddie Blackthorn wasn’t the heartless monster she’d envisioned. He had sounded sincere, kind and genuine. She wanted to doubt his humble words but couldn’t. The man was dying. She heard it in the breathless tone of his voice.
A swell of compassion touched her heart. For the first time, she wondered if there was an expiration date on loyalty. What if Eddie died and then she regretted not letting them meet?
No. She had to honor Judy’s request. She had good reasons. Eddie might seem nice now, but that didn’t excuse what he’d done in the past. So why didn’t she feel the sense of righteousness she normally experienced?
Reid entered the kitchen a short while later with a bag of items he needed to finish the bathroom in the blue room. “There it is. I can’t believe I left my phone here.”
Tori crossed her arms over her chest. “Your brother called.”
Reid’s expression sobered. “Is he okay?”
“Yes. He wanted to talk to you, that’s all.”
“Wait. You talked to him?”
“I thought it might be serious so I answered.”
“What did he say?”
She measured her words. “He thanked me for taking care of Lily. And he said he’d pray for us.”
“He’s deeply grateful for that. No matter what you may think of him, he only wants the best for Lily. He’s not the same man he once was. His faith has changed him. All he’s asking is...”
Tori held up her hand. “Don’t.” She couldn’t look at him. She knew in the back of her mind he was right, but she wasn’t ready to toss aside a promise made to a dying friend.
Reid slipped the phone into his pocket and picked up the bag. “I’ll be upstai
rs if you need me.”
Tori bit her lip. Why had she answered the phone? Lily’s father had always been some distant boogeyman off in the distance, a menace to be avoided at all costs. That image was shattered now. It was easy to hate him and to stand her ground about keeping Lily away. But how could she do that now, knowing the man was showing her more forgiveness and compassion than she’d been willing to give him?
Yet, as Lily’s guardian, she didn’t have the right to override Judy’s wishes. Did she?
Chapter Ten
Tori bit her lip and lifted her hair off her neck, taking a deep breath. Frustration had her clenching her jaw as she scrolled through her contact list for the third time. None of the people she counted on for babysitting were able to help. She should have had someone lined up sooner, but it had never been a problem before. Maybe she shouldn’t have waited until an hour before the meeting to start looking.
Reid stopped at the counter when he saw the scowl on her face. “Everything okay? You look stressed.”
She frowned and held her phone up. “You would think with three brothers and their wives in town, my mother, a neighbor and several close friends, someone could watch Lily today so I can get to the crafters guild meeting this afternoon.”
“Is the meeting important?”
“Yes. I wanted to lay out my idea for the gift shop and get their reaction. If there’s no interest, then there’s no point in making plans.”
He hiked up one shoulder. “I’ll watch her. I was going to work in the yard this afternoon. Lily will be outside playing anyway. What time do you have to go?”
She glanced at the clock. “I have to be there in forty-five minutes. I shouldn’t be gone more than an hour and a half, tops.”
“Perfect. Go. I got this.”
What was wrong with her? She was actually considering leaving Lily with him. “I don’t think so.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you afraid I can’t take care of her?”
“You don’t have much experience with children.” She scrolled through her contact list again.
“True, but Lily and I get along well. And I have first-aid experience in case it’s needed.”
“That’s not reassuring.”
He chuckled and waved her away. “Tori. Go. It’ll be fine.”
If the meeting wasn’t so important she would have simply skipped it, but her business doomsday clock was ticking. “Fine. But promise you won’t take your eyes off her.”
All through the meeting, Tori tried to ignore the anxiety in her chest. Thankfully, the guild members were thrilled with her idea for a gift shop featuring their work on consignment. Her mood floated happily in the air as she made her way home. Things were finally looking up. The house was ready, the repair list was dwindling and she was starting to get inquiries on the website for reservations.
Tori parked beside Reid’s truck and entered the gate to the backyard. Buster didn’t come to greet her, which meant they must be inside. “I’m home.” She dropped her purse and the satchel of folders onto the kitchen table, aware of an odd silence in the house. No TV sounds, no giggles, no sense of life at all. A chill chased down her spine. “Lily! Reid?”
A quick search through the rooms upstairs and downstairs revealed an empty house. Every nerve in her body burned. He’d taken her. All his reassurances had been lies. She fought the urge to curl up in a ball and cry. She didn’t want to believe Reid would take her daughter. She’d come to care for him, more than she’d like, but here she was repeating her old pattern of picking the wrong man.
She had to find Lily. That was all that mattered. She dashed outside, looking at the glider swing and the apartment in case they were there. Empty.
Her throat filled with a scream. Her chest constricted. “Lily!” Oh, God, show me where she is. Help me find her. She pulled out her phone and brought up Seth’s number, her fingers shaking so badly she hit the wrong name twice.
A familiar giggle penetrated the darkness. Hope rose in her. “Lily?”
“Hi, Mommy.”
She spun around to see her daughter waving happily as she walked up the drive with Reid, who had Buster on his leash.
Relief threatened to buckle her knees. Pushing through the gate, she ran to Lily, wrapping her in her arms. Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Mommy, you’re squeezing me too tight.”
“Tori? What’s going on?”
She stood, keeping a hand on Lily’s shoulder, needing the contact to keep her calm. When her gaze met Reid’s, she realized what she’d done. His dark eyes reflected his confusion. “I came home and no one was here. I thought you’d...” She bit her tongue to stop the accusatory words.
“We took Buster for a walk.” Reid’s eyes darkened. “You thought I’d taken her to see Eddie without asking you.”
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“You just don’t trust me. You never will.” He set his hands on his hips, his mouth set in a hard line. “I know how much you love Lily. I would never put you in the position of fearing for her safety. Whether you believe it or not, I love her, too. I want what’s best for her. So does my brother.”
“I know.”
Lily took her mother’s hand. “Buster made a new friend on our walk.”
She squeezed the little hand and smiled. “He did?”
“Uh-huh. Her name is Willow, and she’s little and white and really fuzzy.”
“Her?”
“Apparently Buster has a way with the ladies.”
Reid’s comment eased some of the tension, but she couldn’t ignore the undercurrent of hurt in his tone. “I’ll bet Buster is thirsty after his walk. Why don’t you give him some fresh water in his bowl?”
Lily raced off, dog in tow, leaving her alone with Reid. “I apologize. I overreacted when I didn’t find you here.” She swallowed at the stern expression on his face. This was the old Reid, the hard, closed-off man who’d arrived at her home that first day.
His jaw worked side to side before he spoke. “I don’t know what else I can do to convince you I’m not going to go against your wishes. That doesn’t mean I won’t stop praying you’ll change your mind.”
“I can’t. It would be a betrayal of my friend’s dying wish.”
“And I’m trying to grant my brother’s dying wish. So how do we get beyond this impasse?”
“I wish I knew. I don’t want to be the bad guy in this.”
“Neither do I.” He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to worry about me taking Lily away from you. I’d be a lousy father.”
“Don’t say that. You’re great with Lily, and she thinks the world of you.”
“The truth is, I’ve spent the last decade living among the worst of society. I’m not sure I know how to live with honest, decent people anymore.”
“Is that why you lied to me in the beginning?”
He rubbed his forehead. “When you’re undercover you have to think on your feet, create believable reasons for your actions or words, anything to protect your cover. I didn’t know you or how you were treating my niece. I thought I could get a better read on you if you didn’t know who I was. It was a bad decision and I regret it.”
Reid looked into her eyes. “You’re doing a great job with Lily. You’re an amazing mother. Don’t ever doubt that. I wouldn’t deprive Lily of that for anything. Not even a visit to Eddie.”
“I know. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, but my last relationship taught me a few hard lessons about trusting men.”
“What happened?”
“He turned out to be a phony all the way around. He wasn’t a high-powered executive, he didn’t want a family, he didn’t really love me and he wasn’t a Christian. Oh, he talked the talk, but it was all a lie. Everything about him was a lie.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. Might as well share t
he worst part. “Including being single.”
“Tori, I’m so sorry. I haven’t been lying to you. I didn’t tell you who I was, but I’ve never lied.”
She nodded. “I know.”
Reid smiled at her, then started toward the house. “I have to leave for Dallas tomorrow. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”
“We’re supposed to open in less than two days.”
“I know. And I’ll get back as soon as I can. There are only a few repairs left, and none of them are major.”
When had she started counting on Reid to be at her side for the opening? His time with her was almost up. Her funds were on the way, and there were no more obstacles to her moving forward with her dream. And it was time to cut ties with her handyman. She lifted her chin and gathered her inner determination. “Thank you for your help. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
For all their sakes, she needed to keep a measure of distance. No matter how she might feel. “We’ll see you when you get back. We’ll need to settle up your pay then. I have a feeling I’m going to owe you a lot of money.”
His wounded expression ripped through her. “Sure. Well, I need to pack. I leave early in the morning.”
“Okay.”
She watched him walk away, her heartstrings twisting painfully with every step he took.
It was best this way, keeping it professional. So why did she have tears in her eyes and a feeling she was making a huge mistake?
On the porch she glanced back at the apartment. Did Reid really think he’d be a bad father? His admission had given her a glimpse into his vulnerable side. She could understand how living in a criminal environment could cause him to lose sight of the goodness within him. She wished she could make him see how wonderful he was, how much he’d changed since coming to Camellia Hall.
Day by day she’d seen his hard edges soften, his reserved nature opening up. She attributed most of the change to her daughter. Lily had a way of turning the hardest hearts to mush.
She had to find a way to make up for assuming the worst about Reid. Had she taken a moment to think, she might have noticed the dog’s leash missing from the peg near the back door. And realized that Reid would never take Lily or do anything to hurt her. But she’d jumped to conclusions, hurting Reid in the process and driving a wedge between them, which had only widened their impasse.
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