Julian shrugged. “Nothing that makes me nearly as happy,” he said, and resumed another set of reps, granting Luc a moment’s peace.
Not that it would last long. Not that he was really complaining.
He’d gotten to where he enjoyed these early-morning workouts with Julian. It was like old times, save the fact his brother was using specialized equipment to suit his ability, and the unnerving fact that his brother was talking to him much more, though his favorite topic of late was to extol Caprice and her program at every opportunity.
Again, he couldn’t complain or disagree. Julian had made remarkable recovery in such a short time, so much so that the old choking guilt that had held Luc responsible for the crippling accident had begun to wane. But it wouldn’t totally go away, not when the ghosts from his past still hovered about, tossing kindling onto his guilt.
The memories of the accident continually scraped over his emotional wounds, keeping them from healing. Being with Caprice and watching her personal struggle allowed him to realize that flaw in himself.
He’d seen firsthand the welcoming change in her once she’d unveiled the secrets that had emotionally chained her. It was time he came to grips with his past as well, accepting his guilt and moving beyond it.
“Next week Tregore Lodge hosts its grand opening,” Julian said after finishing another impressive workout, his upper body gleaming with sweat, detailing muscles that hadn’t been that well defined since the accident. “Do you plan to go?”
Luc stopped his tenth set of reps on the leg press and gaped at his brother. “I’m the last person she’d want to see there.”
“Why would you think that? She loves you.”
“Perhaps, but she deserves better than me.”
“I was right the first time. You’re an idiot.” Julian shifted from the extra-wide bench he’d been on to his streamline wheelchair before an assistant could reach him, giving the wheel several hard pushes that jetted him across the room.
“Julian,” Luc shouted and his brother stopped and stared at him, his heart in his mouth for what he was about to say. “I’m sorry. So damned sorry.”
His brother wheeled to face him, frown deepening. “For what?”
Luc waved a hand in the air, the movement ponderous under the mountain of guilt he carried. “You wouldn’t be bound to a wheelchair if I hadn’t goaded you into that race. I know you looked back at me out of concern, and that’s why you lost your edge and fell.”
“You can’t believe that.”
“It’s the truth,” he said, the admission taking a long time to sort out. “I was out to prove I could be as reckless as you, but where your bravado was based on talent, mine was driven by guilt.”
Julian sent the chair wheeling back to his brother. “Don’t think that way. I wanted to best you in that race because you were the best in Alpine, winning medal after medal. And for the record, I didn’t look back out of worry but relief. With you down, the win was in the bag. I took my mind and eyes off the game and that split-second error is why I’m resigned to a wheelchair for life. Got it?”
Luc let that sink in, feeling some of the weight lift from him in the process. “Got it.”
“Good.” Julian left again, but stopped at the opening to the massage pod, balancing his chair on its rear wheels and pivoting to face Luc. “It is not your fault that our family is dysfunctional. We are capable of making our own decisions. If they were bad ones, it is our own fault.”
This time Luc cracked a smile. “You’re pretty smart for a little brother.”
“About time you realized that,” Julian teased. “Have I told you lately you are a complete, utter ass for sending Caprice away?”
“That was your parting remark last night, brother,” Luc said, resuming his reps with renewed vigor despite the pain of stretching the injured muscle in his leg. He was driven by anger at himself as he allowed that utilizing Caprice’s program might help him improve physically.
Julian set his chair right and pushed through the opening. “Excellent,” he shouted. “I don’t want you to forget.”
As if that were even possible.
Luc did two more reps, then stopped cold, realization slamming into him with the force of a lightning bolt. His brother was right.
He was an ass. A terrified one.
For years he’d carried the responsibility of all that had gone wrong with those he’d loved on his broad shoulders, convinced that was his burden to bear for life. But Julian had just opened his eyes to the truth.
It had taken him years to see that closing his eyes to his wife’s infidelity would have saved her life then, but it wouldn’t guarantee the same wouldn’t happen in the future. Chances were she would have left him at the first opportunity. Her death wasn’t his fault.
Just as it wasn’t totally his fault that Julian was disabled for life.
It was a hard admission to make, but it was the truth he’d avoided for years, preferring to use his failed attempts at therapy as his excuse to drop out of competition completely. He’d used guilt as the reason to hide from life. To avoid any emotional entanglement with a woman.
Yes, his recovery had been painful, but other skiers with far worse injuries had pushed themselves until they were back on the slopes. None of them had chosen the coward’s way out.
But fear had consumed him, destroying the exhilarating challenge of mastering the mountain again. Not fear of losing, but of winning because he no longer believed he deserved it. Just like he’d convinced himself all women were after him for his money.
So he’d thrown himself into unbelievable challenges in the corporate world, but inside he was little more than a robot, a shell of a man, performing the role of ex-champion playboy without emotion. He hadn’t realized how shallow and lonely his life had been until Caprice had come back into it, and even then he’d denied himself the true pleasure just being with her gave him.
Caprice. His chest tightened and his sex stirred at the mere thought of her. But it was the warmth in his chest—his heart!—that brought him to his knees.
Julian was right. He was an idiot.
Caprice was unlike any woman he’d ever met, challenging him on more levels than he’d believed possible, challenging him to look at the deeper part of himself that he’d hidden from.
But he’d resisted searching his soul until now and had totally refused to open his heart, so certain that doing so would cause him heartache instead of joy.
And oddly it did just that now.
He ached for Caprice. Wanted her. But by realizing that he wasn’t the bad guy, that he did deserve happiness this late, he’d remained the taciturn machine and had driven her away. He’d let his guilt prevent him from opening his heart to her.
Now he was ready to do just that. But was she lost to him? Did he stand a chance?
He had no idea.
The only thing glaringly clear was the fact he couldn’t let his relationship with Caprice end this way. He couldn’t bear the thought of living without her, even though the prospect of giving his heart to her scared the hell out of him. It terrified him more to think of living like this—without her, without love.
Luc swung to his feet and stalked to his suite. He had one chance to make this right with her. This was the most challenging run of his life and for the first time in years he was ready to do whatever it took to win.
* * *
It took an entire month and one week before she could move back into the lodge.
She stood in the spacious foyer, turning a slow circle, in awe of the changes. Luciano had given her the plans to okay, but she’d never dreamed it would be so massive. So dominating a force perched on this ledge surrounded by denuded slopes where old pistes were being cleared while new alternative slopes for beginners were being formed. It was, in short, a miracle—a work of
art, from the towering vaulted ceilings to a fireplace whose red stones took up a wall yet didn’t overpower the massive room with heavy crossbeams.
All things she’d envisioned in the scant future. Luciano’s largesse had made it all come true.
“Welcome home.”
“Karla?” Caprice asked upon hearing that voice from her past, whirling to the friend she hadn’t seen since high school to embrace her, ensuring she wasn’t dreaming. “What? Why are you here?”
Her free-spirited friend laughed. “Luciano hired me the day I applied for the position of counselor.”
“I had no idea.”
About very little it seemed.
Throughout her stay in Italy, she’d been given updates on the progress in Colorado and asked for her signature regarding legal issues on the employment of “key staff,” as he’d put it. She’d been too involved establishing the program at his lodge and dealing with her own conflicting emotions over him to pay close attention to what she signed.
Not good business sense at all and she wasn’t proud of that admission.
Just how deeply had he dug into her past? Certainly enough to know that she’d been close friends with Karla. That her friend had been interviewed by Luciano—that he’d handpicked a women who’d befriended her when she’d needed it most. “You must be perfect for the position,” she said and embraced Karla, “because Luciano is extremely particular about his employees and mine.”
Karla laughed and gave her a friendly squeeze before backing away. “Don’t I know it! Hey, for what it’s worth he raved about your fantastic program. If I didn’t know better I would have sworn it was his baby.”
His baby...
The thought of having Luciano’s child fizzed through her blood like champagne, leaving her heady and wistful and yet sad. Her time had visited her on the flight back. There would be no baby in her near future.
Caprice shook off the odd melancholy with a smile. “Luciano has a vested interest in Tregore Lodge, so in a way it is his baby. And I don’t mean to be rude,” she added, “but I’ve had a long day finishing details on my therapy unit and need to get some rest.”
“Say no more,” Karla said. “We’ll catch up later.”
“Great!”
Caprice considered it good luck that she made the long walk from the front desk to fetch a key to her rooms without further delay. Sleep. She just wanted to bury her head under the blankets and let this hurt pass her by.
But when she awoke the next morning at 4:00 a.m., she knew quality rest wasn’t in her future. Luciano had tormented her dreams, just as he’d managed to infiltrate those idle moments of her mind during the day while she was in Italy.
Would it ever stop?
It had to. She had to get a grip and move full speed on her lodge—the lodge that he’d poured more than a million dollars into for renovation. But even then, this program wasn’t his baby, it was hers.
Now was the time to prove that.
* * *
Two weeks later she was settled and moving forward with establishing her program here, but nowhere close to feeling settled in her personal life. She missed Luciano. Far too often she’d caught herself reaching for him at night.
She had to snap out of it now. Somehow Luciano had moved heaven and earth to have the mountain and surrounding grounds well groomed before the first snow. Though that was months away yet, she would receive patients for the therapy unit before fall.
That gave her three weeks to have the interior finished and the staff totally ready to perform at top speed. Long, tiring hours were needed with her having a clear head focused on business. It would have been a snap to achieve eight weeks ago. Now?
She took a breath, held it and blew it out in a long, trembling rush. At this moment she struggled to find any peace of mind. Struggled harder to focus on anything besides the man she’d left in Italy, the same man who had made her dreams come true here only to break her heart.
It was maddening that she longed for him still and she hated herself for it. She’d known going in that it wasn’t going to last. It couldn’t last. She didn’t want it. Didn’t seek it. So why couldn’t she let it go?
Her cell rang, or more precisely broke into song, a sound she hadn’t heard in weeks while she was abroad. She checked the displayed number but didn’t recognize it.
“Hello,” she said after the sixth ring.
“Caprice, darling, how are you?” came a feminine voice she hadn’t heard in decades.
She shook her head. Was she hallucinating? Her mother? Calling her now?
“Caprice?” her mother asked again.
Her stomach curdled. The last person she wished to engage in even the briefest of conversations was her mother.
Caprice dropped onto her bed. “I’m here.”
“Oh, thank goodness,” her mother said, not the least deterred by her daughter’s abruptness. “The baron and I just bumped into your Italian and discovered you’d been his guest in the Alps for a month. Is it true?”
She shook her head, always knowing her mother would call the moment she learned her daughter was involved with a billionaire. “Yes, Mother.”
“Well, good. I was afraid to hope you were having an affair with a rich man.”
“We’re not involved,” she said.
“Splendid. Darling, take my advice and choose a man with a title and not some sports medal. A woman never goes wrong attached to nobility.”
“I’ll bear that in mind.” She bit her lower lip and gripped the phone, gathering strength to warn her mother about her upcoming announcement. “Mother, I’m giving a press conference tomorrow—”
“Oh, sorry to cut this short, darling, but the baron says it’s time to leave. We’re off to Brazil for Carnival. Do smile when you meet the press. Ta-ta.”
“Right,” Caprice said to a suddenly dead line that ended another typical out-of-the-blue call from her mother.
That was her mother, more concerned about how Caprice would look than what she planned to say. But then if her mother had known what she had prepared, she might have tried to change her mind.
That wasn’t going to happen. It couldn’t, she thought as she paced her office.
Where had her mother run into Luciano? And why was she letting him occupy her thoughts? Wasn’t she nervous enough over the upcoming press conference? Stressed and terrified over what reaction she would receive from her friends and strangers?
As for forewarning her mother, she likely wouldn’t have believed Caprice was attacked, and she certainly wouldn’t have wanted the world to know about it.
But Caprice knew she had to reveal the truth, the whole ugly mess, in hopes other woman would pay better heed to their own vulnerability.
In that regard, Luciano had been right. She realized it now. Knew she couldn’t hide behind silence any longer, even though she no longer had to fear Mario’s retribution.
God, she never should have feared that for years. That error in judgment had vindicated Mario and sentenced her into shamed silence.
That was the one thing she wanted to make sure never happened to another woman. Rape and abuse had to be reported or the victims were sentenced to suffer in silence.
Tomorrow was opening day at Tregore Lodge and she would stay up all night to ensure everything was ready. She desperately needed this premiere to go as smoothly as the one in Italy had. But at Luciano’s lodge, she’d had his support and staff at her beck and call.
Her opening wasn’t as grand or nearly as organized, despite the fact that his crew had done a remarkable job rebuilding the lodge. The timing was crucial. She had competition, and getting the word out that she was here and ready for both adaptive and standard skiers was vital. She had sent grand opening invitations to all the news stations covering the areas around Colorado Springs,
Denver and Loveland, touting the merits of her program and mentioning that a sister facility resided in Italy under the direction of former champion Julian Duchelini.
She was smart enough to realize that name alone could draw skiers to her facility. Plus, having Julian make a surprise appearance tomorrow would make a massive difference. But what would he think of her announcement?
She couldn’t fret about that now!
Tomorrow was enough to worry about. She had to wow the press and potential clients now or she stood a chance of failing. And she had to unburden her soul of the rape.
Her future as a whole person depended upon her nailing both points.
* * *
Luc slipped in the door of Tregore Lodge and took a position along the side of the great hall, pleased by the crowd gathering for Caprice’s grand opening. He looked beyond the attendees to the beauty and integrity of the structure and furnishings and nodded, noting with pleasure the attention paid to detail, right down to the new mantel gracing the massive fireplace.
The entire lodge was impressively massive. Upbeat. Yet a touch of rustic appeal vibrated through it like a favored song, which was exactly what Caprice had wanted and he’d balked at, confident that a departure from original would look far better.
He’d been wrong, much to his surprise.
Now, as he scanned the people gathering for the grand opening, he was confident Tregore Lodge and her program would be a huge success. He threaded his fingers through his hair, fully aware she didn’t need him or any man now.
But did she at least still want him?
He’d soon find out.
Luc slipped from the crowd and made his way to Caprice’s office, wanting to catch her before she met with the press, wanting to see her, hold her, kiss her. He wanted her, and he knew exactly how he was going to win her over this time. Permanently.
“Mr. Duchelini!” Her secretary popped up from her chair, her frantic gaze flitting from him to the closed office door.
He pointed to Caprice’s office. “Is she in there?”
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