Love Notes (Rocked by Love #1)

by Susan Scott Shelley

  He followed her. "Wait."

  She climbed inside the car. If this was it, he might as well know the truth. "For what it's worth, I love you too."

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  She loved him too. Zander grabbed hold of the cab door. "We're not done."

  A car behind them honked. The cabbie glanced over his shoulder. "Hey man, are you getting in or not? If not, you gotta get away from my door."

  "Fine. Jayne, I'll come by tonight after the show."

  "No. You can't. Staying apart is what's best for both of us." She closed the door and the cab zoomed onto the street.

  The skies opened. Rain fell in large splotches. The sidewalks emptied as people hurried for cover. He stood staring at the cab as it grew smaller and smaller, a yellow dot disappearing into the horizon, leaving him in a world of cold and gray.

  Luke was the reason. As the rain cooled his skin, rage heated his muscles, poking the fire, unleashing the beast.

  This ended now.

  Stalking through the halls, he made his way to the stage. His sister stood in his place, gripping his guitar. He held out his hand. "Give me that before you hurt someone."

  Irisa handed it over. "Are you all right?"

  He strapped on the guitar. "No. But I'll play. You'd better go. This place is about to explode."

  They opened with "Temperature Rising", then rolled into "Cut Down". While Luke talked to the crowd, Zander kept to his side of the stage. Anger simmered and he replayed the conversation with Jayne over and over. Her tear-stained face, the quaver in her voice, the gut-punching words. He wasn't going to lose her just because his band mate was an asshole.

  He played the opening riff of "My Fist, Your Face." The heavy, volatile song, matched his mood perfectly. Zander moved closer to the fans, ready for his guitar solo that followed the last chorus. But instead of backing away from the front of the stage when the solo began, Luke kept singing, improvising lyrics and stealing the spotlight. His fuck-you glare when he met Zander's gaze set off the spark waiting to ignite.

  Zander kicked him and glared, playing even faster. Luke's fist slammed into his shoulder and the asshole kept singing. Zander swung his guitar behind him and then shoved at Luke's chest with both hands. The singer stumbled backward a few steps. Damn, that felt good. The drum beat and Landry's guitar fell silent.

  "What's with you? Have a fight with your girlfriend?" Eyes flashing blue fire, Luke lunged at Zander with a punch.

  He ducked and countered with his own. "Fuck you. She left me because of you, asshole."

  The drums resumed, and fueled Zander's punches with a rapid-fire melody.

  Hands pulled on his shoulder, separating him from Luke. Landry shoved in between them. "What the fuck, guys? Stop. You're not doing this now."

  Breathing hard, Zander glanced at the bass player, then at Luke, and finally at the crowd. He'd never lost control on stage. But then again, he'd never lost anything as important as Jayne.

  Landry pushed Luke toward the left side of the stage, then pointed Zander to the right side. "Stay the hell away from each other until the show's over."

  He grabbed the mic and said something that made the crowd cheer. Zander couldn't make out the words over the blood rushing in his head. He slipped his guitar strap over his head and launched into the next song.

  Landry stayed in the middle of the stage for the rest of the show. Whenever he turned toward Zander, he shook his head—disapproving, angry, and ready to fight.

  As soon as the show ended, Zander grabbed hold of Luke's shoulder. "Right now. You and me. The dressing room."

  Luke shoved away. "Fine."

  Zander looked over his shoulder at Irisa, Landry, Brendan, and the crew. "No one else comes in."

  He followed Luke and then slammed the door at his back. "What the fuck is your problem with Jayne?"

  "Forget it."

  "No. She left me because of you. She said she wouldn't stay and be the reason the band breaks up. She wouldn't let me choose her over you because she thinks our friendship means too much to me. But you know something? It doesn't. Nothing means more to me than her. So you'll answer my fucking question or we're done as of right now and the band can be fucking finished too. I don't care anymore. So, I'll ask again, what is your problem? Why do you care if I'm in love with Jayne? Do you want her? Is that it?"

  "Fuck. No." Luke paced the room like a caged tiger. Restless and ready to pounce. "It's Audrey."

  Zander frowned, searching his brain until the name clicked. The clothing designer who'd helped out on their last few East Coast tours. He'd suspected something brewing between Luke and Audrey, but when the band left New York, Luke hadn't mentioned her again. "That still doesn't explain why you've been a class-A dick to Jayne."

  "She doesn't look a damn thing like Audrey, but the way she talks and moves is the same. And that gold pendant she was wearing every day is one of Audrey's designs. Every time she touched it, it hurt me. And the way she sneaks looks at you—like Audrey used to do at me. Being around her is hard. I couldn't deal so I'd leave, but if I couldn't get away, then I sent her on errands to keep her away from me. I guess I hoped she'd get tired of it and quit."

  "Are you fucking serious?"

  "I'm not proud of it, but yeah."

  Rage fired his blood. How could Luke be so self-absorbed? And so damn mean? He'd lost Jayne all because Luke was acting like nothing more than a teenager. Well, they were through. His whole life trashed. He grabbed his guitar by the neck and swung it over his head.

  An unexpected force caught and prevented him from slamming it into the concrete floor. He tugged again, but it was yanked out of his hands. He whirled around.

  Luke held the blue Gibson in a protective hug. "You can't break this, man."

  "Why? Does the band really matter to you?"

  "Of course it does."

  Seething, he shoved a chair out of the way. "I should rip your fucking head off. Do you know what you put Jayne through?"

  "Yeah. I'm sorry. I was being an asshole. I wasn't thinking clearly." Voice calmer, he paused and for the first time, Zander saw the pain in his eyes. And actual contrition. "She's engaged now, you know. Audrey, I mean."

  "Is she?"

  Luke nodded. "To some New York suit. Found out about that today. Found out she was seeing him the same day we met Jayne."

  "The day you were arrested. Damn it. You should've said something when we hired her."

  "What the fuck was I supposed to do? Cry and talk about my feelings?" He snarled the word, lip curling as though he'd tasted something sour.

  "Maybe if you'd talked more about them, Audrey wouldn't be engaged to that suit." Expecting the punch, Zander braced and then countered with his own hold. "And, Jayne wouldn't have had the worst experience of her life."

  Luke slowly shook his head and backed away. "I know I fucked up."

  "You better sort out your shit over Audrey because I'm not letting Jayne go. If you can't, then this tour is it for me and The Fury can find another guitarist. Or, I really will kick you the hell out of the band." And the blue guitar would no longer matter.

  "Understood." Luke rubbed his forehead. A stab of sympathy welled in Zander's chest. They'd been friends for years, as close as brothers. He'd never seen Luke like this.

  The door slammed open and Brendan and Landry pushed their way into the room. Brendan spoke first. "In case you forgot, we're part of this band, too. No one makes decisions about kicking people out without all the band weighing in, but as far as I'm concerned, both of you are on notice."

  Landry nodded. "I'm getting really tired of the drama. This has been going on the entire tour. Your shoving match on stage tonight was the last straw."

  "We're all a little burned out," Brendan added, "but you don't see Landry and me running our mouths or getting into fights."

  "You will be in one if you throw one more goddamn gummy bear. This isn't just on Zander and me." Luke aligned himself by Zander's side.

  Landry jumped to
Brendan's defense. Battle lines were drawn, new grievances aired, and long-dead issues revived. The dressing room seemed small with all of their voices. Anger and frustration ran hot in Zander's blood, tempered only by guilt when a remark rang true. His band was a bleeding wound and he didn't have a clue how to stitch it back together.

  "Stop!" The word exploded out of his sister.

  They all turned toward her, the silence glaringly loud amid the pulsing emotions and absence of heated words.

  Irisa stood in the middle of the room, hands clasped to her chest in entreaty. "Just stop. This isn't helping. You're friends. Remember that before you say anything else."

  Her pale face and wounded eyes cut through his frustration at his band mates. "What's going on? You look like you're about to fall over." Now that he knew about the antacids, he couldn't stop worrying about her. He covered the distance between them in quick strides.

  "I just spoke with Oliver. Excite is demanding that I resign as your manager, effective immediately."

  "What?"

  "They've put a lot of money into you, and given recent events, they feel that I'm incapable of keeping things together." She glanced at each of them. "And after what I witnessed tonight, they're right."

  "Screw them. You're my sister. They can't make you quit." The familiar burn of anger tingled in his blood. Oliver was an asshole.

  Her shoulders sagged. "If I don't resign, they're going to pull you guys off the tour."

  Pulled off? The notion was insane. He shook his head. "They wouldn't kick us off."

  "Is it so hard to believe? Not to me. Not after all that's happened since before it began. The arrest, the bar fight, Luke quitting, Luke and Zander's behavior during the interview, the disaster at the bar, the mess with Jayne, and now a fistfight on stage." She ticked off each instance on her fingers. "I've failed at keeping things calm. Maybe you do need someone else."

  "No way. I lost Jayne today. I'm not losing you, too."

  "The alternative is getting pulled from the tour. You don't want that. I don't want that."

  "It's always been family-first with us, right? That's not changing now." He spoke the words he'd thought his sister wanted to hear and exchanged glances with each of the guys. They were like brothers to him. He missed the closeness, the support, the us-against-the-world bond they'd shared before ego and exhaustion had taken hold. "Maybe we lost focus of that."

  For a long moment, no one moved or offered any encouragement. Maybe they were too broken to mend. The thought gutted him as much as losing Jayne had.

  Brendan moved first. He and Landry had every right to want to walk away. Instead, he met Irisa's gaze. "We wouldn't be the same without you. The band needs you, Irisa." The tentative smile aimed at Zander spoke volumes. "The band needs all of us."

  Relieved, Zander clapped him on the back. "Thanks, man."

  Hands tucked in his back pockets, Landry strolled over and stood next to Brendan. "No one else would fit." His comment seemed to be addressed both to Irisa and to Zander. Hopefully, he meant it.

  Two down, one to go. Zander looked at Luke. Resentment still festered over what happened with Jayne. If Luke joined them, things would have to change because Zander was determined to win her back. But right now, he needed everyone on board to back up his sister.

  The ever-present scowl finally missing, Luke joined them. He touched Irisa's shoulder. "You're as much a part of this band as we are."

  The breath he'd been holding released. It wasn't too late, they still had a shot. For the first time in a long time hope enveloped him like a balm.

  Irisa's gaze jumped between the guys. "You've been at each other's throats, but my problem makes you all come together?"

  Zander rested his hand on Luke's shoulder, then nodded toward Brendan and Landry. "We cleared the air on a few things while you were on the phone."

  "I walked in on the tail end of that conversation, remember? It wasn't friendly."

  "No. Before that…" He raised his eyebrows at Luke. He hated to make the guy relive his pain, but no way would he be the one to share Luke's story.

  The singer nodded. "What happened with Seth was a wake-up call. He went in the back room, and I was so ticked off and caught up in the interview I didn't realize he never came out. I lost focus and blame myself for him ending up in the hospital. I've already apologized to Griffin and his band, and to these guys, but I need to apologize to you. I've been an asshole for a while. I'm sorry."

  "Why have you been one?"

  Luke shoved his hand through his hair. "Audrey Pierce."

  A line formed between his sister's brows. "I don't understand."

  "I thought we had something, but she had other thoughts…" He glanced at Zander, then shifted back to Irisa. "When Jayne laid into me today about not running that errand, some things she said really hit home. I figured out of all people, I could talk to you about it, and about Audrey, so I called you…"

  "And I bit your head off and didn't even listen to you." Eyes widened, she reached for him, but then pulled her hands back into her lap.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Seth stopped by after that and suggested we go to the bar to cool off before the interview, but as I sat there, I got angrier and angrier, and, well, you know what happened then."

  "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. It won't happen again." She grasped his hand.

  A stormy sea of emotions swept across his face. "I know it hasn't seemed like it, but I don't want to hurt the band."

  "We're good now, man." Landry patted him on the back. "We yell, we fight, we throw punches, then it's over and done, until the next one."

  She pressed her lips together and regarded them for another moment. "If I stay, what if Excite makes good on their threat to pull you?"

  Getting kicked off a tour wasn't unheard of, regardless of the size and popularity of the band. Zander smirked to cover the sudden unease skating through his system. "Do you know how much money they'd risk losing if they did that?"

  Luke nodded at him. "I say we call their bluff."

  After all that had happened, and the guys agreeing to stick together and support his sister, he couldn't have their tour snatched away. He'd fight with everything he had before he'd allow that to happen.

  His sister rose to her feet. "So what do we do?"

  "We storm the castle, together." And maybe they'd be able to heal the damage to their bond.

  "You mean show up at Excite? I hate the idea of throwing myself on Oliver's mercy, especially face to face." Irisa's features twisted like she'd downed a shot of bad-tasting medicine.

  Zander touched her arm. He'd get rid of Oliver. "You're not asking that jerk for anything. We're going to the top. We're flying to Vance's house in Vegas." Vance DuBrow, Excite's president, would see them even if Zander had to beat down the old man's door. No one made threats to his sister.

  "Now? It's eleven thirty."

  "Threatening to pull us off the tour was a stupid move, and he's going to see how much." Zander grabbed his phone, hoping to see a text or call from Jayne. Nothing. "I'll make the reservations for the flight and text you. Go home and pack a bag. Get some sleep, or hell, come over and crash at my place. We'll leave from my house in the morning."

  "This is crazy. We're going to show up at his home on a Sunday, uninvited?"

  "He asked for it. Let's get out of here." Zander led the way toward the exit. The Fury was his band. No one else would tell them they were done.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  The guys had taken him up on his offer. Luke sprawled on his couch, Brendan sat on the floor with Shredder, tapping beats against the coffee table, and Landry lounged in his recliner. They were laughing and joking, but more subdued than normal, polite and careful, like they were almost afraid to say something that could be taken the wrong way. Considering how long they'd had problems, he couldn't expect things to return to normal immediately, especially not with their careers hanging by a steel string.

  At dawn, everyone
piled into his car. He hadn't slept well at all. Jayne was being stubborn, ignoring his calls and texts. He'd been tempted to go to her place and break down the door, forcing her to listen to him, but that wouldn't have solved anything. She believed she was doing the right thing for him.

  Damn it, she was the right thing for him. He had to make her understand.

  All during the drive and the flight, his thoughts kept drifting back to Jayne but Irisa's continued silence puzzled him, as well. After arriving at his house the night before, she'd gone immediately to the guest room. He knew she was feigning sleep behind her dark sunglasses during their travels. When they climbed into the rental car in Vegas, he snatched the glasses off her face.

  She made a grab for them. "Hey."

  "What's wrong?" He held them away from her.

  Brendan leaned forward in his seat. "You were too quiet during the trip. What's up?"

  Her mouth tightened. "I told Dom I couldn't see him anymore."

  "Why?" If he had to kick Torres' ass on top of everything else…

  "Because the band needs my full focus. Everything that went wrong happened while I was distracted by my relationship with him."

  Shock straightened his spine. "You're kidding, right? We were fighting before you got involved with him."

  She shook her head. "But all the really bad stuff occurred afterward."

  Luke lowered his sunglasses, blue eyes serious. "We're all adults. We're responsible for our own actions. None of the stupid things I or anyone else did were your fault."

  "But I might have prevented disaster if I'd been paying more attention. I can't help feeling responsible. I could've prevented the bar fight. I would've gone to the interview."

  "Can't guarantee that." Brendan, always the peacemaker, gave her a smile. "You could've been in the restroom when the first fight started, and you could've missed the interview if you'd been sick. No matter what you do, there's no way to make sure everything will be smooth. You're allowed to have a personal life."