'I haven't finished—'
'Oh, I think you have!'
'No,' she said firmly, 'I haven't. Sally's been concerned about you, and I can see why now. When are you going to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start to live again?'
'For what?' he bit out curtly.
'For Sally, for your mother-in-law, just for the hell of it! You're a gifted man—'
'Oh, they've started employing blind surgeons now, have they?' he rasped, a muscle jerking erratically in his throat. 'I think not,' he derided. 'You may not always be blind.'
'And in the meantime you think I should keep my hand in? Would you like to volunteer to be my first patient?' he sneered. 'Would you?' he repeated harshly. 'I know which part of you I would like to cut out,' he taunted hardly.
'I can guess,' she said dryly. 'But surely you can see—'
'No, I don't see, that's the trouble.' He stood up in his agitation, stumbling over the chair as he turned.
Olivia moved instinctively to steady him, her hands on his arm as she felt him tense, instantly regretting her action as he went white with rage.
'Get your hands off me!' he grated through clenched teeth, pushing her away. 'Don't touch me!'
'Would you rather I'd let you fall?' she shouted back at him, two bright spots of angry colour in her cheeks as she glared at him, able to see the many scars that had been left on his face by the deep cuts now that she was so close to him. Some of them would always remain and some of them would fade altogether—but none of them mattered as much as his blindness.
'Maybe I would!'
'I'll remember that next time!'
'There won't be a next time for you! Get out of here!' He was shouting loudly now, groping his way over to the bed. 'Get out!' he repeated vehemently as he slumped down weakly on to the bed.
'Marcus—'
'What on earth is going on here?' A concerned Simon Brooks came into the room, Sally standing slightly behind him. 'I could hear shouting,' he frowned.
'Get that girl out of here,' Marcus told him through gritted teeth, his face averted.
'But—'
'Don't worry,' Olivia choked, 'I'm going. But if I were Sally,' she spoke to that averted face. 'I would tell you to go to hell!' With that she ran out of the room, leaning weakly against the wall outside, dry sobs racking her body.
'What on earth happened after I left?' Sally's concerned voice broke into Olivia's distressed state.
She straightened, calming herself with effort. 'Just your father losing his temper. Not for the first time, I'm sure,' she attempted to smile, although she was still shaken by the encounter.
'But it is,' Sally said eagerly. 'Usually he just sits there, hardly saying a word to anyone.'
'He certainly said a few to me,' Olivia said ruefully.
'I heard most of them,' Sally nodded. 'I could hardly believe it when he flew into a temper like that, it isn't like him at all.'
'It isn't like me either,' Olivia grimaced. 'I don't ever remember losing my temper like that before.'
'But it worked, don't you see?' Sally said excitedly. 'Your arguing with him brought him out of his apathy.'
'Perhaps,' she nodded. 'I have to go now, Sally. I have a patient to take care of—my own patient.'
'But—'
'I'm sorry, Sally, but I have to go,' she insisted jerkily. 'I—I hope your father feels better soon.'
She was in such a hurry to get away that she almost ran. Seeing Marcus again had been a mistake, one of many she seemed to have made lately.
And if she thought she had escaped the Hamilton family now she was mistaken. Sally called her every day for the next week, pleading with her for the two of them to meet again. Olivia always refused. And yet the memory of Marcus groping blindly in the darkness stayed with her. He was the proudest, most self-assured man she had ever known, and his anger at his blindness was all the stronger because of that. It was a pity he couldn't direct that anger at something other than himself.
Then to her surprise and dismay, Sally arrived to see her at Mrs Jenkins' house one afternoon—an act of desperation, she assured Olivia. 'I need your help,' she said quietly.
Olivia drew in a deep breath. The two of them were alone, Mrs Jenkins once again taking her rest. 'The last time I agreed to help you your father chewed me to pieces,' she reminded her.
'Exactly,' the girl nodded her satisfaction. Olivia's eyes narrowed frowningly. 'Exactly…?' she repeated warily, feeling as if she were being drawn into something that she may not get out of.
Sally sighed. 'After Daddy lost his temper so badly with you that afternoon I had high hopes of him coming out of his lethargy, of him starting to fight back. But that's remained the only time he's shown any reaction to anything. He just sits in a chair all day, all night too sometimes, answering us in that dull emotionless voice, as if he has no interest in anything. I thought he might be different when he came home—'
'He's home now?' Olivia couldn't help her interest. 'Yes,' the girl nodded. 'For the last four days. And he's stayed just the same. I just can't get through to him!'
'You will, in time.'
Sally shook her head. 'The doctor doesn't seem to think so. He says—he says Daddy is going into himself more and more each day. He thinks my father might have a complete nervous breakdown if something isn't done soon.'
Olivia swallowed hard. 'Psychiatric help—'
'Daddy won't let any more doctors in the house.'
She could see how her father's behaviour was affecting Sally; her pallor was even more noticeable, her look of defeat almost as pronounced as Marcus's himself. 'And Simon Brooks can't do anything?' she shook her head.
'He's tried.' Sally's hand trembled as she pushed her long hair back from her face. 'He's been a very good friend to us both, but he can't force Daddy to respond. But something you said the other day at the hospital gave me an idea.'
'Something I said?' Olivia's eyes were wide, deeply green, the lashes long and thick.
'You're a nurse, you have private patients—'
'Oh no, Sally,' she refused urgently even before the other girl could put her request into words. 'I already have a job. Besides, your father doesn't need a full-time nurse,' she added desperately.
'He does,' Sally nodded. 'We have one now.'
'Well, then…'
'And Daddy treats her as coldly as he does everyone and everything else,' the girl sighed.
Olivia frowned her puzzlement. 'I didn't realise he would have a nurse, I thought you said he was physically well?'
'He still tires very easily, and he's still under medication, sleeping pills mainly.' Sally drew in a deeply ragged breath. 'Mr Brooks doesn't think that he should have access to them.'
The colour drained from Olivia's face, leaving her very pale. 'He surely doesn't think ? I'll never believe that of your father!' she denied firmly.
'I wouldn't have done once either,' Sally said shakily. 'I wouldn't have believed it now if he hadn't told me himself that he wished he were dead.'
'It's a normal reaction—'
'Nothing about my father is normal at the moment,' the other girl told her heatedly. 'He's always despised weakness in others, especially when it comes to the taking of a life, and for him to even talk of wanting to die tells me he means it.'
'And what do you want me to do?' Olivia sighed.
'He's different with you, he fights back. And if he fights back then he won't break.'
'He fought back once, Sally,' Olivia reasoned. 'That doesn't mean he'll do it again.'
'Come and see him,' Sally suggested eagerly. 'Then we'll know for sure.'
'And if he doesn't respond that will be the end of it?'
'Yes,' Sally nodded, 'I promise. But if he does respond…?'
'I'm accompanying Mrs Jenkins on a cruise next week—'
'Oh, I see.' Sally had stiffened, standing up. 'I didn't realise a cruise would mean more to you than Daddy does!'
'It doesn't! Sally—'
'I
t sounded like it to me.' Sally's eyes glittered angrily. 'My father needs you.'
'You don't know that,' Olivia shook her head.
'And you obviously aren't willing to find out.' Sally gave her a disgusted look. 'If I offered to pay for a cruise for you after you've taken care of Daddy would you change your mind?'
Her breath caught in her throat at the desperate anger in the other girl's face, at the insult she had just given her. 'I'll come and see your father,' she told Sally coolly. 'See how he reacts to me. And then I'll talk to his doctor before I make any other decisions.'
Sally's face lit up. 'I can't thank you enough!'
'I haven't promised anything,' she warned. 'And, Sally…'
'Yes?' Sally looked at her eagerly.
'If you ever talk to me again the way you did a few minutes ago I'll slap you,' Olivia told the other girl quietly. 'Understood?'
Sally blushed, looking very young and unsure of herself. 'I'm sorry. But I'd do it again,' she added with a certain amount of defiance, 'if I thought it would help Daddy.'
Olivia gave a rueful smile at the other girl's honesty. 'I'm sure you would. But the only reason I mentioned the cruise was that it means that I could be free as from next week if I have to be. I'm sure Mrs Jenkins could get someone else to accompany her on the cruise. But if your father's reaction to me is as verbally violent as before I can't really see any doctor recommending that as being good for him,' she teased lightly.
'Mr Brooks seemed very interested in the idea when I suggested it to him.'
Olivia sighed, not at all surprised by the young girl's arrogant assumption that she would agree to help; there was more than a little of her father in Sally. 'When do you want me to come over? I have tomorrow off, if that's any help to you.'
'Perfect!' Sally said excitedly. 'Simon—Mr Brooks,' she amended with a blush, 'is coming over to examine Daddy in the morning. You could both stay to lunch afterwards and discuss my idea.'
'If I'm still in one piece!'
Sally giggled, instantly appearing younger. 'Don't worry, we'll pull you out before it goes that far.'
'Thanks!'
Sally moved to kiss her warmly. 'Thank you,' she said huskily. 'I'll see you tomorrow, about eleven-thirty?'
'I'll be there,' Olivia nodded, already regretting her decision.
She had been mad to agree to this. Marcus could hurt her so easily, seemed to take delight in being cruel to her, and it was a hurt she felt much more than he could ever realise. He had forgotten her very existence the last six years, even her name not evoking any memories, but how much more cruel his barbs could be if he should realise she was the young student nurse who had loved him so deeply all those years ago. But she had no reason to suppose he would ever remember that. And perhaps that was as well if she were to become his nurse!
She dressed with care the next day, wanting to look her best even if Marcus couldn't see her to appreciate that. The lemon sun-dress gave her the look of an exotic flower, her make-up was light, the perfume she wore smelled of spring flowers.
Her tension rose as she was shown into the lounge by the housekeeper. Sybil Carr rose gracefully to her feet, more composed today, her make-up and appearance once again perfect. 'Sally is upstairs with Marcus's doctor,' she informed her coolly.
This was the Sybil Carr she was used to, the light jersey dress flattering the slimness of her figure, her hair professionally styled.
'Would you care for tea?' Sybil offered distantly.
'I—'
At that moment Sally came into the room accompanied by the young doctor, both of them looking very serious, although Sally's expression brightened as she saw Olivia had arrived. 'I'm so glad to see you,' she smiled tremulously.
'Your father…?'
'There's no change,' Sally sighed.
'And no change in this case…' Simon trailed off pointedly. 'Nice to meet you again, Miss King,' he smiled. 'Although I wish it could be in happier circumstances.'
'Sally has explained to you why she wants me to see her father?' She was watching him closely, her training as a nurse showing her just how worried he was.
'Yes,' he nodded. 'And I can't see that it's going to do any harm. You'll know when he's had enough?' 'Of course.'
'I'll take you up,' Sally offered instantly. 'I'm sure Grandmother will give you some tea, Mr Brooks. I won't be long.'
Olivia walked up the stairs with the younger girl, too nervous about seeing Marcus again to engage in a conversation. She hadn't slept all night through nervousness about this meeting, and she was as jumpy as a nervous kitten as she stood outside his bedroom door.
'Why isn't he downstairs with the family?' she frowned. 'Surely he doesn't stay up here on his own all the time?'
Sally nodded. 'He refuses to leave his bedroom.' 'Why?'
'He doesn't say why, he just refuses to come down.' She shrugged. 'You know Daddy.'
She had known him, but this didn't sound like him at all. 'Does he eat in his room too?' 'I told you, he never goes downstairs.' Olivia drew in a determined breath, fighting down her nervousness, ready to face Marcus now. 'Does he know I'm going to see him?'
'Are you kidding!' Sally gave a scornful laugh. 'I might have got something thrown at me!'
'Nice to know I induce such a pleasant mood in someone,' she grimaced.
'Olivia, I've spoken to the nurse about the possibility of your coming to work here—'
'You shouldn't have done that,' she said impatiently. 'Nothing has been decided yet.' She made the claim, and yet she was very certain that the decision was being taken out of her hands, that in the end she would have no say in the matter.
'I just wanted to smooth the way if you did decide to come,' Sally explained in a pleading voice. 'She's agreed to leave as soon as you take over.'
Olivia shook her head in exasperation. 'We'll see,' she sighed. 'And if you hear me scream—'
'We'll come running,' Sally grinned. 'Good luck!'
'I have a feeling I'm going to need it!'
She heard Sally giggle behind her as she opened the door and softly entered the room. It was a large room, mainly in brown and white, the carpet a deep rich brown, as was the quilt cover on the double bed, the paper on one wall in a small brown and white pattern, several paintings on the other white painted walls, mainly seascapes.
But these were all trivialities to Olivia, it was the man sitting in front of the window that once again held her attention, his face turned sightlessly up at the sky, dark glasses shielding his eyes this time, the rest of his face harshly composed. She didn't like the dark glasses, she felt as if part of him was hidden from her by them.
He turned as he heard the door close with a firm click. 'Anna?' he barked.
She assumed Anna must be the nurse. 'No,' she denied huskily.
His face tightened. 'Who is it?' he rasped.
Olivia walked slowly across the room, her dress moving smoothly against her body before she stopped next to the window. 'It's a lovely day,' she told him softly. 'You must have a wonderful gardener, he's managed to get a beautiful display of flowers and still leave them looking wild, not set in those neat little rows. Oh, and there's a dog in the garden,' she had just seen the Golden Labrador chasing a butterfly. 'Is he yours?' she asked interestedly, unwillingly noticing how attractive he looked in brown trousers and tan-coloured shirt.
'What are you doing here?' His tone was savage. 'Have you come to tell me again to stop feeling sorry for myself?' His mouth twisted with derision. 'To start living again?'
He remembered her from last time! 'Did you recognise my voice?'
'Did you think I wouldn't?' he mocked harshly. 'That hard little voice that told me to live again when there is nothing to live for.'
Olivia bit her tongue to stop her angry retort. 'There isn't when all you do is sit in that chair and brood all day, no.'
'What else should I do?' Marcus rasped bitterly. 'Read a book? Watch television?'
'There are plenty of things a bli
n—you can do,' she bit her bottom lip as she saw the way he had flinched. 'A blind person,' he finished for her savagely. 'Name one?' he challenged harshly.
'You could go out for walks, sit out in the garden, go out for drives, eat with the rest of the family. That's plenty of things to be going on with,' she said briskly. 'Until you get your strength back.'
'I don't think so,' he refused hardly. 'There's no reason to walk in the garden when you can't see it, the same goes for sitting in it. As for driving, I hate being driven by someone else. And as far as eating with the rest of the family goes,' he derided, 'what happens when I spill my food down my shirt-front, or knock wine over someone? Do we just laugh it off, Miss King?' His voice was harsh. 'I think not. As for the dog—yes, he's mine. Unfortunately he doesn't happen to be a "seeing" dog. Do you have any more bright ideas?' he taunted.
'Plenty,' she nodded. 'You certainly can't stay in this room for the rest of your life.'
'Why can't I?'
'Because—Because you just can't. Your blindness may not be permanent—'
'I've never lived on false promises before, and I'm not about to start now!'
'But you've too active a mind to want to sit here for the rest of your life!'
'Have I?' he scorned.
'Yes,' she bit out, his apathy angering her.
'And how would you know that, Miss King?' he taunted. 'You don't even know me, you met me only a week ago. You're a friend of my daughter, nothing more, and I don't have to take this well-meaning advice from you.' He turned away dismissively, the sunlight highlighting the sharp angles of his face.
He really didn't remember her from six years ago, his words of just now more than proved that. 'You're wrong, Mr Hamilton,' she told him with renewed confidence. 'I'm more than just Sally's friend, I'm also a nurse. Your nurse,' she added softly.
'Like hell you are!' He turned on her savagely, his fingers tightly gripping the arms of the chair, his knuckles white.
'Oh, but I am,' she said with breezy assurance. 'As from Monday morning you will have this "hard little voice" telling you night and day to start living again.'
Marcus stood up, moving surely across the room, evidence that he had Brailled it meticulously the last five days. He wrenched open the door and stood back pointedly. Olivia made no effort to go through the open doorway, and it became a battle of wills to see who would give in first. She had no intention of being the one to give in, if she did she would never win against him again.
Everlasting Love Page 6