She leant weakly against the wall outside. What little progress she had made with Marcus today had been wiped out by those few hurtful words she had just hurled at him. Her only excuse was that he had been hurting her too, and she had needed to hit out in her defence. But that wasn't really an excuse at all; she was a nurse, Marcus was her patient, she should have had more control, should never have allowed herself to lose her temper in the way she had.
Was it possible that Marcus did still remember her, somehow in his subconscious mind know that he had touched her that way before? If he should ever remember just how and when he had touched her…! She would have no choice but to leave then. Six years ago she had loved Marcus, and he couldn't help but have known that. But he had made his choice, had chosen his wife, and for her to be here now, working with him as she was, would show him that the love she had thought dead long ago was still very much alive. Tonight, as he made love to her, as he kissed and touched her, had proved that she still loved Marcus Hamilton!
CHAPTER FIVE
Sybil was at her most cutting during dinner, although Sally seemed unaware of it, and chattered happily throughout the meal, obviously more relaxed about her father now that Olivia was here to take care of him. Olivia just wished she could have the same confidence; she had no idea how she was going to face Marcus on a professional level after the way he had kissed her.
The housekeeper appeared in the doorway as they sat in the lounge drinking coffee. 'Telephone for you, Miss King,' she smiled.
Olivia frowned. 'For me? Are you sure?' She hadn't even written to tell her parents where she was yet, let alone anyone else.
'I'm sure, Miss King,' the housekeeper nodded.
Olivia followed Miss Podmore out into the hallway, sitting down in the chair there to take the call, absently watching the housekeeper as she went upstairs to collect Marcus's tray.
'Miss King?' an unfamiliar male voice queried at her softly spoken hello.
'Yes?' she replied in a puzzled voice.
'Simon Brooks here, Olivia,' he explained lightly. 'I may call you Olivia, I hope?'
A mental picture of the doctor came to mind, pleasantly attractive, charming too. 'Of course,' she acknowledged smoothly. 'I couldn't think who was calling me for a moment.'
'I'm not interrupting your dinner, am I?' he asked worriedly.
'Not at all,' she dismissed, relieved to have an excuse to leave the tense atmosphere between herself and Sybil Carr, if only for a moment. 'I've already eaten.'
'So have I. Which is perhaps as well, because I— we—What I'm trying to say, and not very well,' he said self-derisively, 'is that I would like to see you tonight.'
'Oh.' Olivia swallowed hard. Simon Brooks might be all the things she had thought he- was, but after the discovery of her love for Marcus, she really wasn't interested in dating another man. 'I—well—'
'I think we should talk about Marcus,' Simon added, sensing her discomfort.
'Of course,' she realised with relief. She and the doctor had had little opportunity to talk extensively about Marcus's long-term recovery, merely discussing the medication and the mental anguish he was suffering now. 'Where shall we meet?'
'I'll call for you,' he told her briskly. 'I'm leaving the hospital now, so I should be with you in about twenty minutes. Okay?'
'Fine,' she agreed.
'How are you bearing up after your first day?' Simon sounded amused.
'Exactly as you might have expected,' she said dryly. 'Barely.'
Simon laughed softly before ringing off. Olivia was still sitting in the hallway as Miss Podmore came down with the tray.
'How did he do?' She raised her brows.
'Not very well,' the housekeeper frowned. 'He asked for you, by the way.'
She stood up smoothly. 'I was just going up to him.' She went slowly up the stairs, not looking forward to facing Marcus again, not after what had happened between them earlier this evening. But she had stopped being shy little Olivia King long ago; she was a competent and successful nurse, and she had decided she would continue to treat Marcus as she would any other patient in her care.
The sight that met her eyes as she walked into the room banished any such thoughts. Marcus was just emerging from the adjoining bathroom, his hair still damp from the shower he had just taken, his only clothing a pair of black silk pyjama trousers that rested low down on his lean hips. Olivia stood transfixed in the doorway, her gaze drawn again and again to the wide expanse of his chest, to the dark wiry hair growing there, his shoulders broad and muscled, his stomach taut and flat.
He came to a halt as he sensed her presence in the room, his head tilted slightly to one side as he listened for any sign of movement. 'Who's there?' he barked.
She moistened her dry lips, intending to answer him, but finding difficulty doing so.
'Olivia,' he guessed scornfully, the tension leaving him as he moved confidently about the room. 'Well, come in, for God's sake!' he rasped as she still made no effort to move. 'I wouldn't want Miss Podmore to come back and be shocked.'
'Meaning I'm not?' she quietly closed the door behind her.
'I doubt it,' he drawled. 'I'm far from the first near-naked man you've ever seen.'
'No—I've nursed a lot of men during my training and since.'
'I wasn't referring to nursing them,' he mocked, moving to sit on the side of the bed. 'Where are you going?' he snapped as he heard her moving.
'To the bathroom,' she answered abruptly. 'It's time for your medication. Do you want sleeping pills too?' she paused at the door.
'Yes,' he bit out tersely, lying back on top of the bedclothes. 'What else is there to do but sleep?'
Olivia flinched at the dull bitterness in his voice, going into the bathroom to get his medication. His eyes were closed as she came back into the bedroom, although the lids were raised above intelligent grey eyes as he sat up to take the glass of water out of her hand.
He threw the tablets to the back of his throat, swallowing all the water before handing her back the glass. 'I thought you were going out?' he taunted, propped up by several pillows now.
'I am,' she replied with satisfaction, knowing by his dark frown that he hadn't expected that reply.
'Where?' he demanded to know.
Olivia stiffened at his arrogant tone. 'I haven't actually discussed my duties with Sally in detail yet, but I'm sure she intends for my evenings to be my own.'
'In other words, it's none of my business where you're going,' he bit out fiercely.
'Exactly.'
'Olivia—'
'Do you need anything else before I go out?' she asked briskly.
'I need a lot of things,' he stated coldly, his face averted from her. 'But I won't ask for any of them.'
She frowned at the defeat in his voice. 'I don't understand—'
'I don't suppose you do,' Marcus mocked. 'Why should you? Who is he, Olivia?' he demanded abruptly.
'He…?'
'The man who's going to help ease the frustration I caused,' he scorned.
She blushed as she remembered the claim she had made when he made her lose her temper. 'I don't—'
'Who, Olivia!'
She drew in an angry breath at the fury in his voice.
'Simon,' she told him almost defiantly. 'I'm going out with Simon Brooks.'
Marcus's scowl darkened. 'My assistant?'
'Yes.'
'I see. At least, I think I do,' he added slowly. 'Do you always get this—involved with the doctor concerned in your patient's case?'
His insults were really beginning to wound now, and she knew she had to get away from him, if only for a few hours. But she had no one else to blame but herself for this situation, had known exactly what was involved when she accepted this job, had, known Marcus's antagonism towards her was part of his treatment. If only it weren't slowly destroying her!
'If the circumstances warrant it,' she managed to reply aloofly, preparing to leave.
'If he's good-loo
king enough, you mean,' Marcus taunted.
'Yes,' she snapped, 'that's exactly what I mean!'
His hand moved and his fingers closed about her wrist like a vice. 'Do you make a habit of sleeping with doctors?'
Olivia wrenched out of his grasp, two bright spots of colour in her cheeks as she walked over to the door. 'If I like them,' she replied angrily. 'Didn't you know nurses are notorious for sleeping with doctors?'
His mouth twisted. 'Mine never did.'
'Maybe you just chose the wrong nurses to ask!' She slammed out of the room, surprised to see her hands were shaking. What else would she do or say before this was over?
'Marcus isn't the easiest of men to understand, even when he's well,' Simon smiled his sympathy as they sat together in a secluded booth in a local pub.
'He certainly isn't!' Olivia hadn't calmed down yet, despite the fact that she and Simon had been in this comfortably relaxed saloon bar for the last ten minutes. She had spent all that time telling him how impossible Marcus had been today. Although she told him nothing about the incident just before dinner, that was too private, and illuminating, for anyone but herself and Marcus to know.
Simon shook his head. 'Sally told me you and Marcus knew each other before this.' He sounded puzzled.
'It was a long time ago,' she grimaced.
'Marcus has given no indication that he remembers you.'
'We weren't exactly friends!'
'Oh?'
'No,' she avoided his gaze.
'And yet you rushed to his bedside as soon as you heard about the accident.'
'Sally telephoned me—'
'Olivia,' Simon interrupted her softly, 'were you in love with Marcus in the past?'
'No! Yes,' she admitted huskily at his sceptical look. 'A long time ago I was. Why do you need to know?'
'I'm glad you realise I need to know,' he grimaced ruefully. 'I don't usually pry into the private feelings of people I barely know. But I need to know the extent of your own concern for Marcus.'
She blushed. 'Any nurse would be concerned. He's a brilliant surgeon—'
'I'm not interested in your feelings as a nurse, although that does enter into it,' Simon added with a frown. 'I take it you want what's best for Marcus?'
'But of course!' She sounded incredulous that he should need to ask.
'Even if his best and mine don't coincide?'
Her mouth twisted. 'If Marcus did what he wanted he would waste the rest of his life sitting in a chair by his bedroom window!'
Simon smiled, his brown eyes warm. 'Have you told him that?'
'Among other things,' she admitted ruefully. 'I warned you, we bring out the worst in each other.'
'The only times I've seen him in the least approaching the old dynamic Marcus was after you visited him at the hospital.'
'When he lost his temper,' she sighed.
'But at least then he was fighting back,' Simon .pointed out softly.
She shrugged acknowledgment of that fact. 'So what else do you want me to do to help him?'
Simon sat forward eagerly. 'Jason Fitzgerald is coming over from America on Friday,' he mentioned the famous optic specialist with a casualness that deceived no one. 'To see Marcus.'
'But that's wonderful!' Olivia cried excitedly.
'No, it isn't.'
'Not ? Oh,' she chewed worriedly on her bottom lip. 'There's one person you have yet to tell, hm?' she grimaced.
'Exactly,' he sighed.
'And you want me to do it.'
'Oh, I could tell him,' Simon said lightly. 'Anyone could tell him. But I believe only one person could convince him to see Fitzgerald.'
'Me,' she realised flatly.
'Yes,' he confirmed.
'But I don't understand,' Olivia frowned her puzzlement. 'Marcus wants to see again. Surely he'll let Fitzgerald examine him if it's going to give him that chance?'
Simon sighed, shaking his head. 'Try to understand, Olivia. Marcus is an exceptional man, a genius in his field—and he's frightened.'
'Frightened…?' she echoed dazedly. Fear wasn't an emotion she connected with Marcus, although he had once proved to her very effectively that surgeons and doctors had feelings too. But what could he be afraid of?
'Wouldn't you be?' Simon's expression was intent. 'While he hides himself away in the house, while he refuses to see a specialist, he can tell himself that one day he'll see again, that it's only temporary.'
'But he seems so sure he's never going to see again!'
'No, he isn't,' Simon shook his head. 'Bitterness is just his best form of defence at the moment. If he sees Fitzgerald, and he tells him that the blindness is permanent, then he really will have no hope left. And he can't take that.'
'Then why put him through it?' she demanded to know. 'He's already been through enough. I won't be responsible for making him suffer any more!'
'And if there's a chance he can see?' Simon reasoned. 'It isn't my field, Olivia, and directly after the accident the nerves were too sensitive for a reliable diagnosis. The time is right now. Will you deny him the chance to see again, to go back to being the first-class surgeon that he is?'
'You know I won't,' she choked. 'But I won't be the cause of any more pain either.'
'Fitzgerald may be able to operate.'
She had heard of the famous specialist, knew his reputation, and if anyone could help Marcus then he could. But if he couldn't do anything for him… 'Marcus already hates me,' she said dully. 'If I do this to him I may not be able to continue working with him, he may not let me.'
Simon touched her hand gently. 'Think about it, Olivia. You have until Thursday evening to break it to him. After that I'll have to talk to him.'
'You know he hasn't even been out of the house since he came home?'
'Yes.'
'Just getting him to go out would be an achievement,' she frowned, shaking her head. 'Getting him to see a specialist… I don't think I could do it even if I tried.'
'All I'm asking is that you try.' Simon squeezed her hand. 'Now that's enough business for tonight, let's talk about something else. I'm a very interesting subject,' he told her teasingly.
His derisive conceit made her laugh—as it was meant to do—and for the next hour they discussed their respective careers, Olivia finding that she liked this young surgeon more and more as the evening progressed. He had a good sense of humour and a charming manner. He also had a great respect and liking for Marcus, tremendous admiration for him as a surgeon.
'The highlight of my career was becoming his assistant,' Simon told her somewhat bashfully. 'It's an honour to work for him.'
'But who is in charge there now?'
'Me—temporarily,' he stressed the last. 'As soon as Marcus is well enough to return I'll gladly step down.'
'And if he never is?' she voiced the question neither of them wanted to.
'I refuse to think in the negative,' Simon said briskly. 'I think one of us doing that is enough—and I mean Marcus, not you,' he added hastily. 'I can't begin to thank you for the difference you've made in him already.'
Olivia's mouth twisted ruefully. 'It's the first time I've improved a patient's condition by making him hate me. It doesn't do much for my ego as a nurse.'
'And as a woman?' he prompted gently.
'To Marcus I'm not a woman,' she avoided. 'I'm his tormentor.' And he had become hers too! Marcus enjoyed mocking her, took a perverted pleasure from tormenting her. And the way she had responded to him earlier this evening could have done little to improve that, had merely given him another weapon to use against her.
'I'm sorry,' Simon said with compassion. 'It can't be pleasant for you.'
'If it helps Marcus…'
'Oh, it will,' he nodded.
She looked at her wrist-watch, surprised to see how late it was. 'I have to get back,' she said with genuine regret; she had enjoyed Simon's company, had found him intelligent and charming. 'I'd like to check on Marcus,' she explained.
'Of course.'
He rose easily to his feet, holding out her lightweight jacket for her to slip her arms into; she had discarded the halter-necked dress from dinner in favour of fitted brown trousers and blouse, her jacket a cream linen. 'I'll come in and see him myself on Thursday. Perhaps we could have dinner together that evening?'
'I'd like that,' she accepted lightly. 'Thank you.'
It was after eleven when she let herself into the house with the key Sally had given her; Marcus should have been asleep hours ago. There was a message from Sally on the hall table telling her that she and her grandmother had gone to bed, but that there was coffee made in the kitchen if she wanted it. After pouring away the coffee Olivia made her way slowly up the stairs.
A light still showed under Marcus's door, and she opened it quietly. He lay sprawled out on the bed, the bedclothes on the floor, the perpetual frown he had when awake erased in sleep. Olivia couldn't resist the impulse to stand at his bedside, able to feast her eyes on him without earning his derision. He was very pale in sleep, the scars he had acquired from the accident more livid, his cheeks lean, his mouth, the mouth that scorned her so cruelly, was partly open, as if waiting for a lover's kiss.
Olivia brought herself up with a start, knowing she was on dangerous ground. Since the early days of her training she had schooled herself to care for, and about, her patients, but never to become that emotionally involved again. With Marcus she was breaking all her own rules.
She gently smoothed the hair back from his brow, loving the clean, crispness of it beneath her fingertips. Tomorrow they would be back to hating each other, but for this moment she allowed her love for him to flow, allowed herself to indulge in a little daydreaming where he loved her too. How wonderful if Marcus were her husband, if she could climb into this bed beside him and wake him in the most pleasurable way there is between a man and a woman.
'You can if you like,' he murmured suddenly, the grey eyes looking directly at her as he turned his head, making it hard to believe he couldn't see her.
Her hand moved away jerkily, deep colour flooding her cheeks. 'I just came in to see if you needed anything. I—I thought you were asleep.'
His mouth twisted as he raised himself up on the pillows, the skin on his chest dark. 'And do you usually touch your patients when they're asleep?' he taunted.
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