by R. McGeddon
Oh no, wait, that is pretty bad, isn’t it?
But have no fear! You’re not alone. Many of your friends, neighbors, and loved ones will have gone through exactly the same thing as you have. That’s probably why you don’t have any fingers on your left hand anymore, and why you have that bite mark on your forehead.
The trick is not to worry about it. Oh sure, you may have eaten old Maude from next door and you haven’t seen your beloved pet hamster since you changed back, but that’s all in the past. Put it behind you and move on. Just be sure to really clean your teeth before you do.
* * *
Read on for a sneaky look at the disaster-defeating wisdom we have coming up for you in the next book.…
Disaster Diaries: Aliens!
Sam, Arty, and Emmie have barely gotten over a recent zombie infestation when their sleepy little town finds itself the victim of an alien invasion!
But the aliens are very small and kind of, well, cute—how dangerous can they be?
SPOILER ALERT: They’re VERY dangerous. And when they disintegrate the mayor with their ray guns, it’ll be up to Sam, Arty, and Emmie to save the day. Again.
* * *
Defend Yourself From an Alien Sneak Attack
So aliens have invaded your planet? Bummer. Don’t worry, I’ve put together this list of techniques you might want to put into use should one of those pesky invaders try to kill you in unpleasant ways. Be aware that some of these techniques will only be effective against specific alien races. While it is possible, for example, to tickle a member of the Fluffpuffle race into submission, this strategy will be somewhat less effective against the captain of a Venusian Death Fleet.
• Tie up its tentacles when it isn’t looking.
• Shoot it with a ray gun (note: requires ray gun).
• Stuff cotton wool in its gills.
• Tell it a difficult-to-understand joke.
• Impale it on a massive spike (note: requires massive spike).
• Bamboozle it with mirrors.
• Feed it peanuts and hope it’s allergic.
• Pretend you can’t see it and hope it goes away.
* * *
DISASTER DIARIES
Zombies!
Aliens!
Brainwashed!
About the Author and Illustrator
R. McGeddon is absolutely sure the world is almost certainly going to probably end very soon. A strange, reclusive fellow—so reclusive, in fact, that no one has ever seen him, not even his mom—he plots his stories using letters cut from old newspapers and types them up on an encrypted typewriter. It’s also believed that he goes by other names, including A. Pocalype and N. Dov Days, but since no one’s ever met him in real life, it’s hard to say for sure. One thing we know is that when the zombie apocalypse comes, he’ll be ready!. You can sign up for email updates here.
The suspiciously happy, award-winning illustrator Jamie Littler hails from the mysterious, mystical southern lands of England. It is said that the only form of nourishment he needs is to draw, which he does on a constant basis. This could explain why his hair grows so fast. When he is not drawing, which is a rare thing indeed, he spends his time trying to find the drawing pen he has just lost. He is down to his last one. You can sign up for email updates here.
Create a Disaster Survival Kit
What would you put in your own Disaster Survival Kit?
Maybe, like Arty, a Bristly Brain Basher (aka toilet brush) is all you need to keep enemies at bay?
Can you invent a more sophisticated form of weaponry using a toilet roll or an empty cookie tin?
Or do you really just want some sweets and a clean T-shirt?
Pack your bag for the apocalypse and keep it by the door in case of disaster!
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Excerpt from Disaster Diaries: Aliens!
Other Books in the Disaster Diaries Series
About the Author and Illustrator
Create a Disaster Survival Kit
Copyright
Special thanks to Barry Hutchison
Text copyright © 2014 by Hothouse Fiction Ltd.
Illustrations copyright © 2014 by Jamie Littler.
Imprint
A part of Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010
mackids.com
All rights reserved.
Beware the curse upon this book
If from the rightful owner took:
A plague of undead ghouls unleashed
On thieving little fingers feast!
Imprint logo designed by Amanda Spielman
First published in Great Britain in 2014 by Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
Our eBooks may be purchased in bulk for promotional, educational, or business use. Please contact the Macmillan Corporate and Premium Sales Department at (800) 221-7945 ext. 5442 or by e-mail at [email protected].
First hardcover edition 2016
eBook edition May 2016
eISBN 9781250090850