Dad takes Mr. Knight’s hand and shakes it. “Good to see you, Derek. Good game.”
“Eh, it was a mess. My son knows better than to play the way he did.”
“You bulldozed him though.” Dad tries to make light of the situation, but it doesn’t seem to go over well.
“How are you doing on that show? I saw you’re a supporting role. Better hope you don’t get killed off or anything. You already spent too many years chasing after auditions.”
Mr. Knight’s words are said in empathy, but they’re laced with just enough of a dig that Dad’s jaw tightens.
I know he doesn’t like to argue with people, so I step in. “No worries for this guy. He signed a huge contract with CBS. They have big plans for this one.”
I honestly have no idea what my father’s contractual obligations are, but I refuse to have a man like Derek Knight look down on him in any way.
Dad puts his hands on my shoulders. “Have you met my daughter, Stacey? She’s living with Wes and Chad this year. Just transferred.”
“What’s the matter? Couldn’t make the grade before?” Mr. Knight asks, and my eyes widen at what a dick he is.
“Wow. You have no filter,” I say, and my father gives me a scolding grip of the shoulders that pretty much lets me know it’s not worth my energy. Too bad he and I are the opposite when it comes to backing down from a fight.
Mr. Knight laughs this deep, booming laugh that reminds me of Wes. “You’re feisty. Wes could use a girl like you.” He looks down at the green-and-white crocheted quilt in my arms and scowls. “What is that, your grandmother’s quilt?”
He’s joking, but Dad and I aren’t laughing.
“It is actually,” I say with a bite.
“Jesus, Shane. Now that you’re making money, get your kid a Cal Berkeley throw.”
“Why would I waste money when I have the best thing right here?” I ask emphatically.
There’s a crease in his forehead. “Because, sweetheart, money buys happiness.”
“That’s funny because you seem pretty miserable,” I say, and my father pulls me back.
“That’s enough, Stacey.”
Mr. Knight’s brows rise. “No, it’s okay. I want to hear this. What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Your son played an amazing game today, and all you can comment on is how he got you out with a legal play.”
He smirks. “You’re defending him all too nicely. Are you two dating or something? Trust me when I tell you, my son needs to get his priorities in check.”
“Your son is an amazing man. One who happens to value family and friendship. The kind who rides his bike ten miles to see his grandmother in a nursing home and moves her closer to him in college. Why would he do that when he has parents who should be caring for her? Maybe you’re the one who is useless.”
I want to say more, but there’s a halting energy, something that keeps me from uttering a sound.
Wes is standing in front of me. I don’t know how long he was listening, but from the look on his face, he’s been here a while.
I sheepishly look down. I’m not embarrassed by what I said. I meant every word. What I am is annoyed that he heard me say them. I don’t owe Wesley Knight any favors.
Dad pulls me away and over to where Mom, Chad, and Nicole are now standing by home plate, talking to some of the other players and parents.
I swiftly walk with him and apologetically look at my dad. “I’m sorry if I was out of line. I hope I didn’t mortify you.”
“Mortify? Are you kidding? I couldn’t be prouder. I’m the nonconfrontational type. You are so much braver than me.”
“Really?”
He kisses the top of my head. “Yes. Just don’t say anything to your mom. She’s hated that man for years, but we all know how she feels about a scene.”
I grin and hug him while we walk.
Because I’m a glutton for punishment, I chance a glance behind me and see Wes watching me. His father walks away in the other direction, yet his stare is burning in my direction, and I have a feeling I just made things between us a thousand times worse.
Chapter Fourteen
After the game, we all go to dinner. Matt and Adam have their parents come out while Nathan’s go back home.
Wes is a no-show.
The guys tell a ton of off-color jokes, and the parents tell embarrassing stories about the guys. Nicole and my mom are so deep in conversation that I’m afraid to dive in, and Amanda is playing footsie with Adam under the table.
“I didn’t know there was something going on between the two of you?” I ask her quietly.
She grins. “There’s not. But it’s so much fun to turn a guy on when he’s sitting right next to his mother. The guy’s getting a stiffy from my toe on his thigh. Watch this.” She looks over at Adam. “Do you mind getting me a drink from the bar? The waitress is taking forever.”
Adam glances down at his crotch and then up at her with wide eyes. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Adam, don’t be so rude. The girl asked you for a drink. Be the gentleman I raised and fetch her one,” his mother says and then goes back to talking with Matt’s mom.
“You weren’t lying when you said you loved the drama,” I jokingly scold her as I get up. “Stay seated, Adam. I’ll get it for her.”
He gives me a thankful grin as I get up and walk over to the bar. I’m getting her gin and tonic when my phone buzzes. I take it out and see I have a text from Wes.
Meet me down the street.
Why?
Because I’d like to talk to you. Please.
No.
There is nothing for us to talk about.
I’ve wasted so much time on Wesley Knight, and I’m not only talking about the past few months. The man has been destroying my life since I was twelve years old when he kissed me in a closet while playing Spin the Bottle. Only a guy like Wesley Knight would kiss a girl, find out it was her first, and then make her promise not to tell anyone, or he’d tell the school she still played with Barbie dolls.
I got used to him and Chad being the kind of guys who ruined my days. Mom said they were protective, and while I believed that about Chad, I never fully understood Wes’s intentions. He’s just plain old ornery.
Until he’s not. He has this uncanny way of luring you back in. Sometimes, he lets me feel like I am part of his crowd, only to push me away by denying me for being too young, annoying … Squid.
One day, we’d be in my kitchen, laughing over bowls of Frosted Flakes, and the next, he’d be walking by me in the halls, pretending I didn’t exist while making sure every other guy treated me the same way.
Parties, jokes, and tickets to summer concerts were what made Wes the life of the party. He was the star ball player who everyone wanted. Sometimes, we’d talk outside on my porch when everyone was asleep. The next day, he’d pretend it never happened.
And then he kissed me. On the eve of his departure for Cal Berkeley, Wesley Knight kissed me with a searing passion that knocked me off my feet. I nearly fainted from how good of a kiss it was, and when I opened my eyes, it was to him cursing at himself for being so dumb, mad at how he couldn’t control his liquor and made out with the girl who was practically his little sister.
He acted like I was gross and unworthy. I swore he’d never know how he broke my heart that night.
I knew not to get involved with Wes, but I did it anyway. Like a fool, I lured him in, and once again, he hurt me.
The worst part is, he doesn’t even know the depth of his actions.
I bring Amanda’s glass to the table and join everyone. When dinner is over, Mom and Dad go back to the hotel, and Chad and Nicole go back to her place. Knowing Wes is going to be home, I drive around for a few hours, hoping he’ll fall asleep and not still want to talk.
I know we have a living arrangement to uphold and will have to make peace of some sort while I’m still living there. I’ve already taken action to search for a new place, but noth
ing is as cheap as Chad’s third bedroom. I want to save money, but I also need to save my soul.
My 4Runner shows signs of starting to overheat, so I head home and park in the lot next door. The apartment is dark, which means either Wes is asleep or he’s out.
I grab my grandmother’s quilt and lock the car. In the building, I climb the stairs and unlock our apartment door, turning on the hallway light. That’s when I spot Wes sitting in the darkened living room.
His legs are spread wide with his elbows resting on his knees. The throw pillow I added to the couch is sitting on his lap. His head is down, but when I step in, he lifts it and seems relieved to see me standing there.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” I ask as I place the quilt on the back of the couch.
“Thinking.” Sensing I’m still waiting for an answer, he adds, “Why did you defend me to my dad today?”
“Because he’s an ass. You are, too, but no one deserves to be treated like that by their parent.”
My words seem to be hard for him to hear.
He swallows and nods his head lightly. “You brought up my grandmother.”
“He insulted my blanket. Turns out, I’m oddly defensive of it.” And you too, I could add, but I won’t. Instead, I shrug off my coat and hang it on the hook.
“No one’s ever spoken up to him on my behalf before.”
That makes me sad, and I have to smash my lips together as I comprehend that statement. He’s luring me in, and I can’t let him. I know where this leads, and it’s deadly for me.
“Good night, Wes.”
I’m almost through my bedroom doorway when he calls out, “I didn’t want anything to do with her, okay?”
I turn around, confused.
He adds, “The blonde at the bar. I threw her number out as soon as you walked away. I didn’t even show the guys I’d gotten it.”
I shake my head and lift my shoulders. “You want a medal for that?”
“I want you to know that I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Everything.”
His statement is bold and way too broad.
“I need specifics.”
“For accusing you of playing a game. For calling you some girl. You’re not just any girl. I know that.”
My heart is loving the words coming from his mouth, but my head knows better than to fall for it. “No. I’m so much more than some side piece.”
“You were never a side piece.”
“I was fine for hooking up with. You asked to keep it a secret, and I agreed. What boggles my mind is why you had to flip the switch on me.”
“I’m not perfect, Stacey.”
“Clearly.”
“Fuck. Will you just let me apologize and stop making this so hard?”
“No.” I raise my chin. “Why the change of heart? For a week, you acted like I didn’t exist.”
“You gave me the cold shoulder first.” He rises and runs his hands through his hair.
“Cut the shit, Wes. It’s me. The girl you have pushed away since grade school. I’m getting used to you breaking my heart.”
“This isn’t about the Barbie thing, is it?”
I gasp in annoyance. “Of course it’s not, but way to go on ruining a girl’s first kiss, by the way. No, this goes back to the other kiss. Your graduation-slash-going-away party. Or did you forget?”
He looks at the ground, as if trying to search his memory for what on earth I could be talking about. “I kissed you that night?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “It’s official. You’re an even bigger asshole than I thought.” I march into my room, but Wes is quick behind me, grabbing my forearm and spinning me around.
“I thought that was a dream,” he says with glassy eyes, as if he can’t believe it to be true.
“It was real, and it meant something to me, but then you pushed me away afterward. You baby-sistered me and broke my heart. You’ve been breaking my heart since I was twelve years old, and yet I still fight for your attention. I know why I do the things I do, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why you torture me so. Why you go from hooking up with me, having secret sharing in laundry rooms and late-night rendezvous, to tossing me aside at a bar. Why the hell do you hurt me the way you do?”
“Because I’m scared,” he says, surprised by his own admission.
I let his words sink in before asking, “Scared of what?”
“That I’ll mess it up.”
“Mess what up? This? Us?”
“It’s more than that. It’s you. It’s Chad. It’s your parents. You guys have been my saviors. I don’t know what I would ever do without you, without your family.”
“But that’s what you’re already doing by pushing me away.”
He looks straight into my eyes, and I swear I see him blink away tears.
“I’ll never be good enough for you.” He steps away from me, rubbing his chin. “Did you not see my dad today? That was nothing compared to how he’s treated me my entire life. Grades are never high enough. Runs on the score board aren’t good enough. I’m too heavy, too slow, unambitious, and lazy. Top that off with the fact that my parents are horrible people. My dad openly cheats on my mom, and she keeps her lover in the pool house year-round. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I was a mistake. A drunk night that shouldn’t have happened. Don’t you ever wonder why I don’t have any siblings? I’m a mistake.”
“Wes, you can’t honestly believe that—”
“It’s hard not to believe it when you’re told that your entire life. Why do you think I spent so many nights at your guys’ house? My family had all the money in the world but no love. Yours had love and little money. I much preferred the latter.”
My heart breaks for this man in a way I wasn’t prepared for. “Fuck them. You don’t need them, and while I hate them for you, I don’t understand what this has to do with us. Why you hurt me.”
“Because I want you, Stacey. I’ve always wanted you, and it scares the shit out of me.”
“If that’s the case, then be with me. Stop being an ass and just be with me. Tell Chad. Hell, tell the world.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. I made a vow I would never settle down. That I would never fall in lust and that I would never let someone trick me into marrying them because if she got pregnant, I wouldn’t be able to walk away.” His words cut through me like Cupid’s evil twin.
I step back and place my hand on my chest as I take a deep breath. “Do you think I’m trying to saddle you down with kids? Is that why you won’t have sex with me?”
“Fuck. No. I’d never think that about you. It’s just …” He closes his eyes and tilts his head up to the ceiling, seeming defeated. Once he gets his bearings, he takes a deep breath and starts to pace.
It all hits me. Why he’s like this. Why he’s so scared.
I reach out to him, crushed from what his parents did. It all makes sense now. “You’re not your parents, Wes. You won’t be like them.”
He stops pacing and turns to me. “How are you so sure?”
I lay a hand on his face and bring his gaze down to mine. “Because I would never have fallen for a guy who wasn’t absolutely capable of redemption.”
“But it’s too late. The damage is done. Your brother has been my best friend for practically my entire life. He’s heard my inner thoughts when I had no fucks to give. He wants better for you. You deserve better.”
“He doesn’t get to decide that.”
I rise to my toes, and with his face cupped in between both of my hands, I do my best to show him what I mean. Not with my words, but with my body by kissing him with everything I have to give. Words are only syllables. Letters strung together to hopefully mean something to the person they’re being said to. Showing someone how you feel through your touch, your kiss, your body can heal a person when they feel all hope is lost.
He surrenders into my emotions that are begging him to see the
truth inside him that I’ve seen for years. He’s a good guy, no matter what’s on the exterior, no matter what he tries to hide from the world. I know the Wesley Knight who likes to put ketchup on his macaroni and cheese and is still afraid of clowns because of the movie It.
He has an old soul that has been trampled on by parents who didn’t deserve him. Now, I need to prove to him that he deserves better.
When I pull back, I check to see if I’ve made a breakthrough.
His eyes soften as they stare into mine. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
I curl up to his chest, and his arms instantly wrap around me, holding me tightly.
“That’s what you’re doing. So, stop it already. Don’t keep putting up these walls. Let’s see where this goes. If it doesn’t work out, fine. At least we’ll know we both tried.”
He leans back and cups my face in his palms. “I want to try. I do.”
I step out of his grip and take his hand in mine, leading him to my room. He follows, as no other words need to be said.
As we stand mere inches apart in the middle of my room, I slowly start to unbutton my shirt until it falls off my shoulders and falls to the floor. Wesley takes a deep inhale, seeming unsteady, but by the darkness that’s clouding his eyes, I know he won’t stop me.
I slide my leggings down my legs, yanking them off by stepping on them with my feet. As I stand in front of him in only my bra and panties, he keeps his eyes glued to mine, so I go a step further.
Reaching behind me, I unhook my bra and let it drop to the floor. I hook my fingers under the straps of my panties, but he stops me by placing his large hands over mine.
He shakes his head, and for a brief moment, I think he’s going to stop me, but to my surprise, he says, “I get to remove those.”
He drops to his knees, working his finger under my lace thong, and moving them down my legs, helping me step out of them completely.
Now, I stand here, naked and baring my entire soul to the boy I’ve known almost my entire life, and I don’t have one doubt or fear of what I’m doing. I want this man, and he needs to know just how bad.
Rebel Roommate: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 13