"She was." I squeeze her closer. "I told her I was her son and she looked at me. She saw the resemblance then. I saw it immediately when she opened the door."
"What happened then?" Her voice is strong and calm. She's everything I'm not right now.
"I offered to buy her dinner but she wanted food from the grocery store, so we went. I had a rental car."
She runs her fingers through my hair. "You took her home after that?"
Swallowing hard, I go on. "We had bags of food and a bottle of cheap booze. I got her the cigarettes she wanted and the lighter she needed."
She taps my shoulder. "I understand."
She does, but she doesn't. It's not as simple as a person dropping a lit cigarette onto a tattered old chair when they're in a drunken haze.
"I asked what else I could do to help her." I stop to kiss her shoulder. She let me dress her in one of my T-shirts and my sweatpants after we made love. I pulled on a pair too before I brought her out here.
"What did she say?" She pulls back to look at me.
"Money. She wanted money."
There's no surprise in her expression. How could there be? I wasn't shocked by the request when it left my birth mother's lips. "What did you tell her?"
"I told her I'd arrange for her to fly back to New York to enter a treatment facility." I look over at my kitchen, where I keep my courage in an aged bottle of scotch that I'm craving. "I promised her a job and a place to live if she cleaned herself up."
Her hand finds my face. "She didn't want that."
"She didn't want that or me," I correct her. "She told me that I should be grateful that she didn't terminate her pregnancy and that she deserved everything I owned for having to put up with me for three years. Then she threw me out and told me to go to hell."
Tears well in the corners of her beautiful blue eyes. "That's so wrong. It's so wrong."
"She died that night," I say matter-of-factly. "In a fire set by a lit cigarette that had fallen onto the chair she was sitting in."
"That's not on you, Crew. You gave her a chance. She didn't take it."
I know she's right. Nolan has drilled the same words into my brain for years. I held out a hand to the woman who gave me life, she slapped it away and wishing it was different, won't make it so.
Chapter 46
Adley
I want to smash my hands against something to redirect the pain that I'm feeling. How the hell do people do this? How do they have a child and then treat them worse than a pile of dirt? I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it because my parents have given me nothing but their love and support.
I listen as he talks on the phone to Kade. I can hear the sorrow in his voice, and now I know it's not all about Eli Benton. He's mourning the loss of all of his parents, all of them had a chance to love this incredible man, and they tossed him aside.
I promise myself that the next time I see Pauline Benton, I'm going to hug her and thank her for being exactly what he's always needed.
I saw the affection between them at the hospital the night Eli was admitted. There was as much love in her eyes for him as there is in my mom's eyes when she looks at me. I'm grateful he has that, and I'm glad she has him to lean on.
He ends the call with a brusque, talk to you later .
He and Kade have never been close. Their father's death won't change that.
"They'll be a service next week." He tosses his phone on the sofa. "You'll go with me."
It's not a question. He knows I'll be there next to him, holding his hand, holding him up emotionally if need be.
"I need to stop drinking." He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. "I've done it before. I'm going to try again now."
I'm relieved. I've watched him drink so much scotch in one night that it would level any other man for a week. I've joked about him cutting back in the past, but he's always laughed off those remarks.
"I'll stop drinking too," I offer with a wink. "We'll do it together."
He nods. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'd go cold sober if that's what you want me to do."
I want him to be healthy and happy.
"We'll replace the liquor with sex." I wiggle my eyebrows. "Whenever you feel the urge to drink, we'll fuck."
He's on me in a flash, his hands tugging down my sweatpants. "I'm thirsty, Ad."
"Me too," I whisper into the stubble on his chin. "From behind? I love it like that."
"Strip now."
He leaves the room on a jog, his heavy steps disappearing down the hallway. I step out of the sweatpants and tug the T-shirt over my head.
"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He stops in place as soon as he's back in the living room with a condom package in hand. "My breath literally fucking stops when I see you like this. Why did I waste so much time not chasing you?"
I laugh through my tears. He can't know how deeply those words touch me. I'm still reeling from yesterday. The words of the man in the clinic, mixed with what Damaris said have played over and over inside of me all day.
I need to tell Crew. I have to hand him my secret the way he handed me his.
He moves closer, shedding his sweatpants with ease as he approaches me. His large hand fists his swollen cock. "From behind and rough, you said?"
I watch as his hand moves to my body, sliding down my navel before it disappears between my legs. "Yes, behind and rough."
He glides his hand over my core. "Your cunt is perfect. You're perfect."
I moan when he slides a finger inside of me. "Like that."
He adds another and then a third as he ups the tempo. I reach back to grab onto anything, but his arm is already wrapped around my waist.
"I'll get you ready like this." His hard cock pulses between us.
I want it now, but he wants more from me first. I drive down onto his hand, circling my hips, taking what I need.
"That's it, beautiful," he whispers against the skin of my neck. "Fuck my hand. Fuck it until you come for me."
I do, and then I bend over the arm of the sofa and come again as he pummels his sheathed length into me with words of love falling from his lips.
***
"I have to go to work." I nestle my head on his chest. "I'm sorry I can't stay with you all day again."
I want to more than anything, but I heard him telling Nolan on the phone last night that he'd be in the office today. I have a job to do too.
We made love in the living room before we had a long, hot bath together. I took him in my mouth as he stood up to towel dry and with the steam enveloping us, he shot his release on my lips before I licked it as he watched.
He was desperate for more, but we were exhausted. Our bodies sated, our hearts connected and when we got in his bed together, sleep found us quickly.
"Have lunch with me." He doesn't open his eyes. "There's no fucking way I'm going to get through an entire day without kissing you or copping a feel of your tits."
I laugh. "You're feeling better today."
He reaches down to stroke his fingertips over his semi-hard cock as he cracks open one eyelid. "See for yourself how good I feel."
I lick my bottom lip. "You're insatiable."
"Get used to it, woman." His fingers tap dance on my shoulder. "I need to make up for all the years I wasn't fucking you."
"I need to go." I sigh as I stare at him. "You make it hard to walk away."
"You make it hard, period." He strokes the length of his cock. "Tell me the clinic changed its hours and you're clocking in at five a.m."
I let out a tiny laugh. "It's almost nine."
"For fuck's sake," he says in a rough voice. "What are you doing to me? That's twice now that I've overslept by four hours."
"Maybe your body is telling you that sleep is more important than work." I brush my lips over his. "The world won't crumble if you sleep in once in a while."
"You're more important than anything." He holds me in place. "I'll see you at noon outside t
he clinic."
"I can't today. There's a staff meeting for all the vet assistants at noon." I kiss him once more before I hop out of bed. "I'll see you tonight back here. I love you, Crew."
His hands fist together on his chest. "My heart is yours, Ad. I love you. I always will."
Chapter 47
Crew
"How are you doing?" Nolan waltzes into my office. I've been here for a total of ten minutes. I knew he'd make an appearance within the first thirty. "I'm sorry about Eli."
He's not sorry Eli's dead. He's sorry that my chance to have a father died in the hospital bed with him. "I'm all right."
I'm not. How the fuck could I be?
Damaris, my dad's death and then a confessional to Adley.
I have no idea how the hell I'm still upright.
"Ellie sent flowers to Pauline." He sits in one of the chairs in front of my desk. "She doesn't know the whole story since it's never been mine to tell."
I nod in appreciation. I can count on Nolan to be loyal. He knows I would never betray him either.
Since we met, he's always been my brother. We don't speak of our bond often, but we both understand and value it.
"I told Ad I love her."
He leans back in the chair, crossing his ankle over his knee. "That was quick."
He's wrong. It took too long. I've loved her as a friend for close to two years. I've loved her as more for months. "She feels the same way."
"No surprise there." He blinks." Ellie called it a year after you two met. It was the day you set up that date between Adley and Kade."
"Ellie called it back then?" I'm shocked. The last few weeks I've hesitated to talk about Ad around Ellie. I know how protective she is of her best friend. Ellie loves me, but I never believed she would see me as someone who is good for Adley.
"She did. She said you'd end up together. I didn't agree."
I can’t help but laugh to myself. "You didn't see it written in the stars?"
He slides forward to rest his palm on the edge of my desk. "I've been by your side for years, Crew. We both know she's as far from your type as there is."
He's right. I know it. "It's easy to have a type when you don't know what you're looking for. I never had to put any thought into it. It was all about convenience then. Now it's different."
"You are in love." He raises both hands in the air. "If I were a betting man, I would have lost big. I never pegged you as the type to settle for one woman."
"It's not settling when the most amazing woman on the planet is in love with you. She loves me, Nolan. Me. How the fuck did that happen?"
"You're not half bad." He smiles. "You're going to be good together."
I push back from my desk. "I'm working half a day today. I'm going to drop by the clinic and surprise Ad, and then I'll spend the afternoon with my mom."
"Take all the time you need." He rounds my desk and waits for me to stand before he tugs me into a hug. "I'm sorry again, Crew. I know it was a shitshow with you and Eli, but the pain has to be there still."
It is. The day spent with Ad and the last ten minutes with Nolan hasn't lessened it. Time will do that, I hope. I have to let go of my father and the dream that will never come true.
"You know where to find me, pal." He moves to walk out of my office. "Say hi to Ad for me. Tell her we're happy that you came to your senses."
"You're an ass." I shake my head as he leaves. "Tell the kids I miss them."
***
"Hey." I feel a tap on my shoulder just before my hand lands on the handle to the door that leads into Premier Pet Care. "It's like a fucking reunion here today."
I turn around. The guy staring at me is at least a few years younger than me, shaggy blond hair, brown eyes, completely unfamiliar to me. "Who the hell are you?"
"You're Crew Benton." He shoves a fist into my shoulder in some sophomoric college ritualistic greeting.
I slap his hand away and smooth my suit jacket. "I know who I am. Who the fuck are you?"
He holds one hand in front of him palm down, while the other flies in the air like he's taking an oath. "I solemnly swear not to reveal anything about the club or the identities of any of its members."
"Are you high? Drunk? What the fuck is your problem?"
I step to the side and hold open the door when a woman with a dog on a leash exits the clinic.
She gives me a tilt of her chin in appreciation. I toss her back a smile.
"Take off." I move a step closer to the guy who thinks he knows me. He doesn't. It comes with owning a club. Every asshole who you offer a free drink to thinks you're his best friend. It's called marketing, but this kid wouldn't know a good business plan if it bit him in the ass.
"You're here to see her too, aren't you? Did you find her because she's Hale's babe? That's how I found her."
The hair on the back of my neck stands up. Rage races up my spine. "What the fuck did you just say?"
"Adley works here." He drums his fingers over the window that offers a bird's eye view of the street from the reception desk. "I got her name from the tagged posts online. I brought my neighbor's dog down two days ago for some bullshit check up to make sure it was her."
"Step back," I growl. "Move over there."
He does. He walks backward, the entire time his hands are in the front pocket of his ripped jeans. I could deck him on the spot with little blood and no noise.
"She's so fucking hot." He bounces in his tennis sneakers. "Sooner or later she's got to take a break. I've been waiting for over an hour for her to come out."
"Stop talking." I tower over him. "You're going to walk away and never come back. Do you understand me?"
His expression shifts but in an instant that smart-ass grin is back on his mouth. "There's enough to go around."
"Shut the fuck up."
"Those big juicy tits and that smooth pussy." He holds his hands in the middle of his chest as he laughs. "I've jerked off to the memory of that so many times. She's not the kind of chick a man forgets. I didn't get a taste back then, but she's available now, man, so get in line."
I haul him off his feet with my hands on the front of his sweater, pushing him against the wall. "I will fucking ruin your life if you don't shut the hell up."
"You're still defending her?" He pushes against me, but it's futile. I've got at least six inches on him and a good fifty pounds. "That's what got you kicked out of Skyn, man. No piece of ass is worth that."
I stumble back so quickly that he falls to the ground. My stomach churns, my head spins.
There's no fucking way. No. He's so fucking wrong.
"Stay the fuck away from her or I will rip you apart." I spit the words out, but he's already gone, weaving his way through the mid-day crowds of pedestrians.
I haul open the door of the clinic and step inside.
The smells, the sounds, all of it is way too fucking much.
"Crew? Is that you?" Matilda calls to me from behind the reception desk. "What's wrong? Do you need to sit down?"
"Where is she?" I bark the question out into the air, not bothering to raise my head. "Where is she?"
"Adley?" Her voice nears. I see her white shoes as she steps closer to me. "She's not here. Dr. Hunt told me that she called him and that she wouldn't be in today. That's all I know."
Fuck. How the fuck is this real? She can't be that woman. There is no way in hell Adley is that woman. I would remember her. She would remember me.
Matilda says something else but I'm already halfway out the door with my phone in my palm. I call Ad, it goes directly to voicemail and I curse that fucking club and the arrogant asshole that held her down that night telling her to let herself be used until I smashed my fist through his face.
Chapter 48
Crew
I take another drink straight from the bottle and stare out the window of my apartment at the setting sun. I ran all over this goddamn city for hours looking for Adley. I gave up when I realized that she doesn’t want me to
find her.
I close my eyes again, but the same memory replays itself on an unending reel.
The sounds of music mixed with fucking coming from the room as I approached the door with Damaris by my side. It was one of our regular nights at Club Skyn.
We'd show up late, fuck other people in the back rooms reserved for members only until the club shut down. Then we'd stagger back here, fall asleep in my bed and I'd be up at the crack of dawn ready to bury myself in work.
That night was different.
We were looking for a woman to play with. Damaris had her type. I had mine.
She scoped out the choices. I watched a crowd of men that had gathered around a table. On the table was a woman, on her back.
I stepped closer to get a better look and heard her soft whimpers right away.
"I need more time. I'm not sure anymore."
One guy was wrapping his cock to ready himself to drive into her. The one standing next to her, with one hand on his dick and the other pinning her to the table by her throat, kept telling her to calm down.
"It gets me off. You promised me you'd do this."
She struggled against him, her hands tugging on his wrist, her legs held in place by the guy between them.
I edged closer and looked at her face.
I focused on her eyes. Those goddamn beautiful blue eyes looked at me with a plea I'll never forget.
It wasn't a roleplay. She was terrified.
I pushed the guy between her legs aside before he dove in. He lunged back at me but gave up when I snarled at him. I turned back, and the bastard holding her by her throat told me to fuck off because he was her boyfriend.
He said he made the rules.
" This is my property," he growled at me. " You can go to fucking hell."
My fists flew, his nose broke and his girlfriend slid off the table and disappeared.
I ended my night in the office of the owner, threatening to expose him.
He told me he'd take care of her. He swore he'd change protocol.
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