“You’ve been scowling into your drink since you got here,” Matt explains. “Want to tell me what’s up? Did your meeting not go well?”
“It was fine.” I don’t feel like explaining further. The last-minute meeting was not what I needed today, but I was able to get Dana, one of my assistants, to take Mia home.
Like me, Matt also finds reprieve in this tiny bar. He may not be well-known, but he has a lot of Daddy’s money to blow, and he’s occasionally running from people who want nothing more than to milk him dry.
I sigh and swirl the whiskey around my tumbler. “Kay quit this morning.”
“No surprise there.”
I purse my lips. “Well, I’ve already replaced her, and this one isn’t going to cause any trouble.”
Matt guffaws, his eyes getting wide. “You think the girls are the problem? Maybe you should try not seducing them.”
That makes me bristle. “It’s hard. I don’t have time to date.”
“You’re sitting here with me, having a night cap. If I were a chick, this would be a date. So don’t tell me you don’t have time. Maybe you’re just afraid.”
I fucking hate how right he is.
Luckily, Matt’s not heartless. He knows where to stop.
“So, what about this new nanny?” he goes on. “What’s different about her?”
“She’s a lesbian,” I simply say, unable to stop my grin. “According to the agency, she has a partner at home. There’s no way anything will happen between us.”
“Oh, God,” Matt groans. “This nanny agency actually has their employees’ sexual preferences on the books? You realize how fucked up that is, right?”
“Extraordinarily.” I take a sip of whiskey, enjoying its smooth burn. “But that’s not my problem. I asked if they could provide a gay nanny, and they stepped up to the plate.”
Matt looks uncomfortable, but he shrugs. “All right. So, you hired a butch lesbian that you’ll never be able to get a boner around. I guess that’s one way to plan for success.”
The thought of Jayne makes my blood heat up. She’s anything but butch. In fact, Jayne is the type I didn’t even know I had. With that wavy, red hair, big, blue eyes, tight body, and legs for days…well, I’ve been thinking of her since she left my office four hours ago.
“She’s not butch,” I say, staring at the liquor shelves. “She’s super-hot.”
Matt groans. “Of course she is. All of your nannies are.”
“I don’t pick them that way. That’s how the agency sends them.”
Matt snickers. “Okay. Fine.”
“She’s…” I exhale and look into my drink. I’m only halfway done, but I need to get home. If traffic isn’t too bad, I should be able to make it in time to wish Mia goodnight.
“Never mind,” I say, standing and clapping Matt on the shoulder. “Have a good night, man.”
“You, too. Don’t rub too much skin off tonight.”
In retaliation, I give him a hard pinch on the shoulder as I pass him by.
Traffic is smooth, which means slipping into daydreams about Jayne is way too easy. By the time I pull into the garage, the hard-on I feared is throbbing in my pants.
“Great,” I mutter. “Think sad thoughts. Sad thoughts.”
Seeing Dana helps—she’s nearing sixty, and it definitely shows. I thank her and slip upstairs, all thoughts of Jayne now discarded.
Mia’s nightlight shines through her cracked door. I gently push it open, in case she’s asleep. The second she hears me, though, she rolls over and sits up, the stuffed bunny she’s had since she was a baby in her arms.
“Daddy?”
“Hey,” I say quietly. “You’re not asleep? Didn’t Dana read you your stories?”
“Uh-huh. Four.”
“Four? Wow. That’s a lot.”
I take a seat on the edge of her bed and smooth her hair. It has every color of blond in it, from the platinum streaks in the front to the caramel ones in the back. There’s a frown pulling on her lips, and she’s nibbling on the bottom one in that way that shows she’s worried.
“Why isn’t Kay coming back?”
My heart constricts. “I told you, honey. Kay wasn’t going to be a nanny forever. She has other plans.”
“But she didn’t say goodbye to me.”
The pain in my chest increases, and I know it’s my own damn fault. I should have learned from the girl before Kay. Or the one before her. Don’t fuck the nanny. It’s never going to end well.
“It’s not because she didn’t want to say goodbye,” I insist. “She just got a call about a job that she couldn’t turn down. Sometimes adults have to go to jobs right away, and there just isn’t time to say goodbye.”
An idea hits me, and maybe it’s wrong, but I don’t care. I can’t stand seeing Mia in pain.
“You know what I just remembered?” I ask, pretending to get excited.
Her eyes light up and she squeezes her stuffed bunny tighter. “What?”
“Kay sent you an email.”
“She did?” Mia gasps in surprise and anticipation.
“Yeah. Should I read it to you?”
“Uh-huh!” She bounces in bed, and I pretend to read from my phone.
“Dear Mia, I am sorry that I had to go without saying goodbye. It’s not what I wanted to do at all, and I already miss you very much. I heard you are getting a new nanny and that your dad might take you to the arcade this weekend.”
“What?” Mia interrupts.
I wink. “How about that?”
“Are you taking me to the arcade?”
“Yep. Me and you, kid. And maybe the new nanny, too.”
“I want it to be just me and you. You work too much.”
Ouch. As if I don’t already doubt myself enough when it comes to parenting.
“Is there more?” she asks.
“Lay down, and I’ll read the rest to you.”
She scoots under the blanket, and I pull it up to her chin.
“Let’s see…it says, be a good girl and take good care of your dolls. Love, Kay.”
My throat burns as I put my phone away. My daughter is only six, but I still can’t look at her. Lying to get ahead in business is one thing. Lying to your kid because you fucked the nanny and messed everything up?
Not good. Or easy to do.
“She sounds happy,” Mia murmurs. She blinks heavily, which shows how tired she really is.
“She does,” I agree, rubbing my thumb against her chubby cheek.
“Daddy?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“Is a nanny the same thing as a mommy?”
“Um, no. Why do you ask?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just…I want a mommy. A second mommy. Kaitlyn and Rosie have them.”
I have to force myself to not sigh.
Truth is, I want a mother for her as well. I just haven’t done a very good job of finding her one. Not only is there not much time to date, but the women I do meet are never right for me.
Which is why I end up sinking my teeth into whatever is in front of me. But I never saw Kay in the long-term way. I never see any women that way, truthfully.
I’m still thinking of how to reply to Mia when she rolls over and looks at the picture frame on her bedside. “Goodnight, Mama.”
It’s like there’s a vise-grip on my throat. I don’t want to look at the picture of Hayden, but I can’t seem to stop my eyes.
Mia looks so much like her…so damn much.
The picture sitting on the little bedside table is one I took at the beach when Mia was about eight months old. It was her first trip to the shore, and in the shot, she’s sitting in Hayden’s arms, laughing. Her mom smiles as well, looking just as beautiful as she did in the pages of any magazine.
Looking at the beauty in that picture, you’d never be able to guess at all the darkness lying behind the scenes.
“Maybe you’ll have a second mommy one day,” I quietly say.
Mia doesn�
�t answer.
I touch her shoulder and find it slowly moving up and down. She’s fast asleep, the stuffed bunny in her arms. Her lips part slightly, and when I hold my own breath, I hear her exhales filling the room.
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” I whisper, tucking the blankets around her sides before tiptoeing out.
Chapter 7
Jayne
Forget Benjamin Glen’s house. His front gate alone is freakin’ massive.
I sit in my idling car at the wrought-iron gate, waiting for it to open. I’ve already announced myself to whoever it was that answered the intercom, and now I’m studying the brick wall and trees beyond it. Though I’m trying as hard as I can, I can’t see anything beyond the foliage.
The gate smoothly opens, and I put my car into drive, taking it up the hill and around a couple bends. This driveway is more like its own road.
As the trees thin out and the house comes into view, I gasp out loud.
“Holy shit,” I breathe.
The house is two floors, but that’s the only modest thing about it. It’s white, with countless windows and a giant front porch. The perfectly-manicured front yard is massive, and there’s a big garage with what looks like an apartment of some sort over it.
There’s so much space in the driveway that I’m actually unsure of where to park. I settle with edging the car in close to the fountain the driveway curves around, and do a makeup check before getting out of the car.
I usually don’t make a habit out of wearing makeup, but I’ve been having some fun with it lately—plus, I want to look good for my first day at my new job.
Right, because you want to impress a six-year-old and not her hot dad.
“Shut up, inner monologue,” I mutter as I get out of the car.
Benjamin Glen is off limits. I’ve repeated that fact to myself a hundred times since yesterday, but it seems it still hasn’t sunk into my psyche.
Trying not to fidget from anxiety, I ring the front doorbell.
Within the space of thirty seconds, the door flies open. Instead of Benjamin standing there, like I expected, it’s an older man. His father, perhaps? The person who answered the intercom?
“Hello.” I smile.
He smiles back and extends his hand. “How are you doing?”
“Well, thank you.” I shake heartily. “I’m Jayne.”
“Eddie. I’m the butler here. Please, come inside.”
I blink, unable to move.
The butler? Do people actually still have those? What does he do, exactly? Answer the door all day long?
“Jayne?”
He’s standing there, holding the door.
“Sorry.” I smile again. “It’s early. I’m still a little out of it.”
He just keeps smiling. I’m compelled to ask him if his cheeks hurt yet.
Inside, a staircase leads to a second landing. The foyer gives way to a hallway that extends to the back of the house, and several doors lead to rooms on both sides. The largest doorway, to the right, goes into some kind of living room.
Living room? Sitting room? Den? Lounge? Parlor…?
The only thing I know for sure is that this place is a mansion, and at least ten of Amy’s apartments could fit in here.
“Here is the coat closet,” Eddie explains, opening up a double-door closet. “There is a bathroom just down the hallway. Bedrooms and the playroom are upstairs.”
I nod, unable to stop my mind from drifting as he goes on, continuing to list the rooms in the massive home. What does Benjamin do with a house this big? Does he have parties?
I imagine the kinds of friends he likely has. Wealthy ones. Hot ones. All of them equally-suave versions of himself. And the girlfriends…
“Everything you need for a swim is in the pool room,” Eddie is saying. “Including towels and Mia’s floaties.”
“It’s a little cold for a swim, though, isn’t it?” I laugh.
“The inside pool,” he corrects himself. “We open the outside one in May.”
Oh. Yes. Of Course.
Heavy footsteps sound behind me, and my heart does a flip. Benjamin?
I turn around to greet him, but instead find myself face to face with yet another male staff member. This one is carrying a couple of cloth tote bags.
“Ray,” Eddie says, “This is Jayne, the new nanny. Jayne, Ray is the chef here.”
“Nice to meet you,” I tell him.
Ray gives me a once-over. He’s maybe than ten years older than me, and heavy-set.
“Good luck,” is all he says before leaving through the front door.
I frown after him. “Good luck?” I dully repeat.
What was that supposed to mean?
I turn to Eddie. “He said ‘good luck’ like I’m going to need it.”
Eddie averts his eyes. “Benjamin and Mia are waiting for you in the kitchen.”
Hmm. Okay.
Why do I feel like I just walked into a gothic romance novel? Like at any moment, ghosts are going to creep out of the walls?
Having no other choice, I follow Eddie through the massive living room—which has a fireplace large enough for me to stand in—and into an equally enormous kitchen. Long, marble island. Shiny, new appliances. Shelves upon shelves stacked with utensils and cooking accouterments.
For all intents and purposes, it looks like a regular kitchen—a regular kitchen fit for royalty.
At the far end of it, at a breakfast table, sit Benjamin and his daughter. The little girl has already clocked me, and she watches me with a wary eye, her spoon held suspended above her cereal bowl.
“Hello,” I say, focusing all of my attention on her. If I look at Benjamin, I might lose it. I only got one quick glance at him, but I didn’t miss the damp quality of his hair or his freshly-shaved, perfect jaw.
Don’t think of him in the shower. Don’t think of him in the shower.
I take a few steps in their direction, and Benjamin stands.
“Mia, this is your new nanny, Jayne. Say hello.”
Mia’s lips twist, and she quickly looks away. She seems more shy than anything else.
“It’s okay,” I tell her. “I feel nervous when I meet new people, too.”
I can feel Benjamin’s eyes on me, but it’s not until I look over at him that I catch the intensity in his gaze. Noticing me looking back, he clears his throat and turns away.
Was he staring at me?
“Well,” Benjamin says. “It’s Saturday, so no school today.”
“My favorite day,” I chime in.
“I do have to work, though.” He ruffles Mia’s hair, and I nod. Somebody has to pay for this labyrinth of luxury we’re standing in the middle of.
Benjamin turns to me. “Eddie is around all day. He lives in the guest house out back, so if you need anything, just let him know.”
I nod. “All right.”
“Other than that…” He looks around, as if searching for something in the kitchen. I can’t help but feel he’s avoiding my gaze due to being caught eyeballing me. “Have fun. I’ll be back sometime mid-afternoon. Numbers are on the fridge. Ray made lunch. It’s on the shelf in there.”
“Great, thanks.”
Benjamin kisses Mia’s head. “Love you, sweetheart.”
“Love you,” she repeats, in a much higher voice.
Benjamin gives me the quickest smile and nod in all of human history before he’s gone. He’s definitely uncomfortable around me…but I can’t figure out why.
Unless it’s because the attraction is mutual.
I clap my hands together. It doesn’t matter. No daydreaming about the boss. I promised myself that.
“What would you like to do today?” I ask Mia.
She shrugs. “I dunno.”
I take a seat next to her. “What do you usually do on Saturdays?”
She sighs dramatically. “Kay takes me to the park.”
“Who is Kay?”
“My old nanny. And Lauren was my nanny before her. And Emmy
was my nanny before her.”
“Oh.” My stomach twists. Mia is only six. How many nannies can someone that young have gone through?
And why has she had so many?
Ray’s “good luck” suddenly makes a lot of sense.
I push the worrisome thoughts to the side. It doesn’t matter that the nannies before me didn’t last. I’m going to rock this job and show both Benjamin and the agency that I’m the best nanny ever. Plus, I’m going to have a whole lot of fun with Mia while I’m at it.
“Hey.” I clasp my hands and put them on the table. “Do you like plays?”
“I dunno,” she mumbles.
“Do you like ballet?”
“I dunno.”
I catch my bottom lip between my teeth, thinking some more.
“Okay. What about making forts?”
She grunts in a way that tells me that’s a negative.
“Sock puppets?”
“No.”
“Biking?”
“No.”
“Staring at the wall?”
Mia’s nose wrinkles. “What?”
“I knew it. I could tell when I first saw you. You’re the kind of kid who just loves to stare at the wall all day.”
“No, I don’t,” she giggles. “No one likes that.”
“Have you ever done it?”
“No,” she carefully answers.
“Then you wouldn’t know, would you?”
She laughs harder. “Yes, I do know. And I’ll show you!”
“Hold on there, little lady. First of all, we’re going to need a completely blank wall. No way do you have one of those.”
“Yes, I do!” Grabbing my hand, Mia pulls me away from the table.
As I let her whisk me through the living room, I press my lips together so I won’t smile too big and ruin the game. Taking me upstairs, she stops in the hallway.
“Here.” Mia proudly points at a blank space on the wall that’s about four feet long, pictures on either side of it.
“Hmm.” I pretend to inspect it. “This could do… This could really do.”
Nanny For Hire - A Steamy Single-Dad Billionaire Romance Page 4