Then he suddenly realised that he had lost sight of Tyler, and he got onto her frequency immediately.
“Boss?” he asked.
“Be there in a minute,” Tyler answered, and she sounded keyed up to the extreme.
Collins frowned, and he turned back to Kate.
“Nearly done there, Kate?” he asked.
“Yes, he’ll be fine now,” she answered.
She had cleaned the wound thoroughly, stitched him up, and wrapped his arm up in a thick bandage. All in record time. The boy was grinning a little, obviously enjoying all the attention.
Kate ruffled his hair and stood up.
“Where’s Tyler?” she asked, tension returning as she scanned the males faces around them, looking for her friend who seemed to have disappeared.
Collins looked toward the far side of the compound, and nodded at one of his men as he started walking.
“Lenster, you’re with me. Kate?”
“Yes, I’m coming.”
Kate was worried now, and Collins‘ tense demeanour did nothing to reassure her. It was very unlike Tyler to go off on her own like that. Her fingers tingled and a wave of apprehension and adrenaline shot through her. She could hear crying and loud women voices coming from a little way away. She swore under her breath. This did not sound good at all.
“Boss?” Collins asked again on the radio.
They got nothing but static this time, and Collins picked up the pace. He was about to call for more backup when Kate grabbed his arm and stopped him.
“There she is,” she said, pointing to their left.
A group of women were huddled together in a corner of the compound. A few of them were crying loudly, holding on to each other and rocking. Kate’s heart jumped in her chest when she spotted Tyler, kneeling on the ground in the middle of them. For a crazy second she thought that she might be hurt, and she found it hard to breathe. Then she realised that she was holding a small child in her arms, and as they got closer she recognised the little girl from before, the one who had sat on Tyler‘s lap and dozed in her arms. She did not need to ask to know that she was dead.
Collins exhaled sharply and stopped dead in his tracks.
“Ah, shit, they got a kid,“ he murmured under his breath. “Fucking bastards.”
“What do we do now?” Kate asked tightly.
She was not looking at him. Her eyes were on Tyler.
“You go on,” he told her. “But we have to leave soon. Is that clear, doc? Don’t get caught up in this.”
Kate met his eyes at last and nodded her understanding. She walked quickly up to Tyler, really not liking the fact that she had been on her own for some time. She squatted next to her, and when Tyler did not look up she rested a firm hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, Ty,” she said softly. "Are you all right?”
Tyler glanced at her. She was pale and she seemed to struggle to find her words. When she did, her voice was huskier than usual, and her tone was bitter.
“RPG. Almost cut her in half," she said tersely.
“Bloody hell. Why did they aim at the compound?” Kate asked in disbelief.
Tyler just shook her head and did not reply. She stood up abruptly and faced the small group of Afghan women.
“I’m very sorry,“ she said.
An older woman walked up to her and started to talk quickly, crying all the while.
“I am sorry,” Tyler repeated, and Kate narrowed her eyes at her, alarmed to see that she seemed close to tears.
But the Afghan woman only waved her arms and started yelling, and Kate grabbed Tyler by the wrist and pulled her away firmly.
“That's enough. It‘s time to go now,” she said urgently, echoing Collins’ earlier words.
But he was right. They had been static in the compound for too long now, and they needed to move. Tyler was well aware of this. She gripped her rifle and shook the woman off, not enough to hurt her but hard enough that she did not attempt to grab her again. She followed Kate without allowing herself another look back.
She became aware of a familiar tightening in her chest, just as she picked up the pace, heading back toward the troop. Surprised, she tried to take a deep breath, and found that she could not. Not now, damn it, she thought. She focused on her breathing and tried to slow it down, but it was too late, and she stumbled heavily on a rock. She would have hit the ground for sure if Kate had not grabbed her by the arm and held on to her.
“Just hang on a minute,” she instructed, and she pulled Tyler with her against a mud wall, just before they made it back into full view of the platoon.
“There's no time,” Tyler just managed to say.
“This won’t take long,” Kate interrupted.
She rested her hand flat on Tyler’s chest to keep her in place, and she met her eyes.
“Just take a minute, and breathe.”
She had noticed how pale Tyler had become, and how short of breath she appeared to be. She could recognise the early signs of a panic attack when she saw them, and there was no way Tyler was moving again until she felt certain that she was okay.
Under normal circumstances Tyler would have argued, but it was getting even harder to breathe, so she did as Kate ordered and she stayed put.
"I'm okay," she murmured for her benefit, although she was clearly not.
"Be quiet. Just breathe," Kate repeated calmly, reassuringly. "We’re just going to take a minute; it's okay."
Tyler’s normally laser bright eyes had turned hazy, and she realised she was having trouble focusing. She feared what was coming.
"Shit..." she murmured.
She swiped at the sweat on her brow, dipped her head slightly and breathed out. When she started to slide down against the wall Kate quickly stepped forward to support her. She slipped an arm around her waist, braced herself against the wall.
“Ty. Do I need to call for help here?” she asked anxiously.
“No, don't," Tyler panted, feeling her panic increase.
“Are you sure?”
Tyler could only nod. She was shaking, and sweat was literally pouring off her. Kate bit her lip, watching intently as the younger woman concentrated on taking deep, controlled breaths, her eyes shut tight. They were still alone. Kate would not deliberately go against Tyler’s wishes, but at the same time she was prepared to call for help if the situation started to get really out of control. As it was, she was well aware that if it had been anybody else, she would have called for backup already.
She waited a little bit longer.
"Tyler," she warned then. "We need to move, now."
"Yeah..."
Tyler straightened up as she spoke. Her eyes had cleared up but she was still deathly pale. She met Kate's gaze and held on to her for a few more seconds. She found if she simply focused on Kate, if she kept her mind on her and nothing else, the panic started to recede. She stared into her dark, reassuring eyes for what seemed like an eternity, until her heart stopped its crazy beat and she was able to take a deep, full breath again.
"All right," she murmured.
Kate relaxed only a fraction. She could see in Tyler's eyes how hard it had been to regain control, and she did not want to let go of her just yet. At the same time, she knew that they had to move, and make it quick.
“You’re good to go?” she simply asked.
“Yeah.”
“Okay then. You lead.”
Chapter Five
Later on that evening, back at base, Kate pulled a small mirror out of her medical bag and surveyed the extent of the damage. She’d live. There was a small cut, right above her eyelid, but it had not required any stitches. She would have one hell of a shiner for the next few days, but she could see okay, so she could still work and she could still go out on patrol with the teams. It was the only thing she really cared about.
Relieved as always to be back at camp, with everybody safe and well, she joined a group of young marines cooking dinner and prepared to add her own ration to the pot. The
guys in the platoon often threw a few ration packs together along with a few staples, and made one big stewing pot of everything.
She sat down on a bench and smiled at a couple of them, busy sorting through a box of supplies.
“What have you got cooking tonight?” she asked.
“The boss won at cards,” one of them told her, grinning. “So it’s mainly chilli. With spaghetti. Again.”
Kate gave a soft laugh. She could live with that.
Collins came to sit next to her, and she was glad when he put a friendly arm around her shoulders. He asked her how she was, making small talk, cracking jokes. Kate knew that the events of the afternoon had shaken him as much as they had her. It was hard when people died, even harder when kids got hit. It was nice to goof around with him for a while.
Then Tyler showed up, and Kate forgot all about the food, and all about Collins. She watched her intently as the woman made her way toward them slowly, stopping to chat and joke with some of her guys along the way. To everyone looking she looked the same as she always did, relaxed and happy, enjoying the moment, having fun with the troops.
But Kate could spot the difference a mile away.
It was not very cold, and yet Tyler was wearing a thick black fleece. Kate thought she looked a little bit pale still, and tired, and she suddenly wished they could be alone so she could find out exactly how the captain really felt. After the patrol she had disappeared inside the Ops room for the rest of the afternoon, and Kate had not had a chance to talk to her yet.
She was about to ask if she could have a quick word, when she saw Tyler bend down to retrieve a box from under a bench. She gave a quick smile when she saw that Kate was watching her, and she nodded toward the marines gathered around them.
As Kate looked up, all the guys started to sing Happy Birthday together.
Kate burst out laughing, delighted. Looking up, she accepted the box of freshly cooked pancakes from Tyler, noting the look of satisfaction in her eyes. Clearly she had wanted this to be a complete surprise, and she had definitely achieved her goal. Kate had had no idea this was coming, and she was touched that they had thought to do something to celebrate.
“How did you know it was my birthday?” she laughed.
“Asked the Intel guys, they always know everything that matters,” Collins said loudly. “And here’s some maple syrup to go with them. Canadian. You gonna share, right doc?”
“Of course,” Kate shot back with an amused grin.
Tyler stood next to her, smiling.
“That’s to make up for the black eye I gave you earlier,” she said quietly.
“Thank you. And you are completely forgiven.”
Tyler handed her a shoebox decorated with a little red ribbon.
"Here you go Kate. We all got you a few things."
Kate opened the box and burst out laughing again. It was full of ration pack essentials. Oreo cookies, a bar of soap, some mosquito repellent, peanut butter. Her eyes grew wide when she spotted the little bottle of Body Shop lotion.
She looked up at Tyler, who grinned and tried to look like it was nothing.
"Where did you get that?" Kate asked, amazed.
"I've been doing contraband with Bastion. Don’t tell anyone."
Kate beamed at her, and she held her gaze for slightly longer than necessary. Tyler nodded, not breaking eye contact, but she took a little step back.
“I have to report to the Ops room again in five minutes, so I’ll see you later okay? Enjoy your birthday treats.”
She walked away quickly, ignoring Collins’ knowing smile and leaving Kate to stare thoughtfully after her.
She was alone when the medic came to find her an hour later, sat in front of a couple of laptops, maps and paperwork thrown all over the table. She looked a little bit tired, seriously bored, but her eyes lit up and she smiled when she spotted Kate walking in.
“Hey birthday girl,” she greeted her warmly. “How are you?”
Kate returned the smile, as always feeling herself incredibly drawn to Tyler.
“Good. What are you doing?“ she asked.
Tyler glanced at the paperwork on the table.
“Sorting out insurance documents for the guys. And I have a couple of reports to finish. I’m behind on all the paperwork. Can you believe I‘m having to do paperwork in a place like Cobel?”
“Well, if it helps, I saved you a couple of pancakes, and I thought you might like some coffee. Is this a good time or are you too busy?”
“Never too busy for coffee,” Tyler said emphatically.
She accepted the pancakes with a smile, and wrapped her hands around the steaming mug of coffee. She took a sip and closed her eyes, sighing with pleasure.
“That’s just what I needed, thank you.”
She opened her eyes again and her gaze was warm when she looked at Kate.
“How is your eye now?”
“Fine. Couple of Ibuprofens did the job, and I‘ve got perfect eye
makeup for Halloween.”
“That you certainly do.”
”Hey. Don’t push it unless you want me to give you the same look.”
“You’d have to catch me first,” Tyler said with a chuckle.
Kate smiled as she said that, and she watched as the handsome captain took another sip of coffee and bit into a pancake. She was laughing, but it looked like a real effort, and the way she kept blinking as if it was too hard to keep her eyes open easily betrayed her tiredness. Kate knew she could not stall any longer. She took a deep breath and asked the question she had been afraid to ask.
“So Tyler, how are you feeling?”
“Fine, thanks.”
The answer was immediate and sharp.
Kate raised an eyebrow and leaned her arms on the table.
“You know I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t ask you about this afternoon, right?” she said.
“No… No, maybe not,” Tyler agreed slowly, almost reluctantly. “But I’m fine, Kate. There is nothing to talk about.”
There was a hint of wariness in her eyes as she held the medic's probing gaze, and she looked uncomfortable. She gave Kate a small smile, almost like a silent signal for her to drop the subject. But, Kate being Kate, she pushed on regardless.
“Have you had panic attacks before?”
“Look, I’m fine. Okay?”
Kate opened her mouth to argue, and then immediately thought better of it. There was no trace of the earlier smile in Tyler‘s eyes now, instead it had been replaced by a silent and very obvious warning.
Kate noticed when her jaw flicked. She spotted the stubbornness loaded there, and the tension in her shoulders, and she realised that she would not win this argument no matter what she said. Tyler would not budge. Incredibly, Kate found that her reaction hurt. Tyler’s unwillingness to confide in her should not have hurt that much, and Kate was disturbed by the unexpected rush of emotion that suddenly made her throat tighten.
She sat back in her chair and said nothing, but her silence spoke volumes.
“So, I‘ve got good news from Bastion,” Tyler said carefully, trying to move over the unusual, awkward pause between them. “We’re getting a supply drop tomorrow night. Fresh food, ammo and
equipment.”
“Are the medical supplies I ordered on that list of things coming as well?” Kate enquired, a little more sharply than she really intended to.
Tyler blinked, once, and her eyes darkened a little.
“I got everything you wanted doc.”
“Right. Well, in this case I guess I’ll see you then.”
She stood up abruptly and started to walk off, but Tyler jumped up and came to stand in front of her, blocking her way.
“Hold on, Kate,” she said. “Don’t go off like that. Not when you’re angry. Not here.”
“I’m not angry. And I don‘t see that it matters anyway…” Kate shrugged, trying in vain to sidestep her.
“It matters to me. I know it matters t
o you, too.”
Tyler’s grey eyes flashed as she spoke. She was wide awake now. She had raised her voice and she suddenly realised how close she was to losing her temper for good. She was astounded. No one ever did that to her, no one. Yet Kate had managed to take her to that place in about two seconds flat. What the hell was going on here? She breathed deeply and got her voice under control.
“Look. What‘s the matter?” she said softly.
Kate took a deep breath. All she had been hoping for was an opportunity to let rip and express what she was feeling, and Tyler had left herself wide open to it.
“What’s the matter is I am a doctor,” she said in a low, urgent tone.
“I know. I’m just…”
“And you had a panic attack this afternoon,” Kate interrupted her sharply. “It is my responsibility to address that, because if it happens again out there on patrol you could be at risk, and marines could be at risk. I don’t like the fact that you are trying to brush it all under the carpet. Me included. I wasn‘t expecting this sort of bullshit from you, Tyler.”
Tyler was silent. She just stood there, staring at Kate with a hard and serious look on her face.
"You don't know me," she murmured eventually.
Kate raised an eyebrow, taken aback by the unexpected and very odd response.
"Well. Then tell me," she said impatiently.
Tyler exhaled sharply.
"It’s nothing," she muttered.
"Come on Tyler, talk to me. Is something wrong? Are you sick?"
"No. I’m fine."
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