They all ducked as the Chinook landed, and once more Kate found herself running back to the helicopter alongside the stretcher, yelling stats and instructions at the crew.
“Keep him alive, guys!” was the last thing that she said to them, and one of the medics on board gave her a thumbs up and a confident grin.
Then she got blasted with debris and mud again as the Chinook took off hard and disappeared, and silence followed.
For the first time then things calmed down a little and Kate realised that it had started to rain. Pretty soon the weather was so bad she could barely see five meters in front of her. She could make out Tyler and Collins not too far away, deep in conversation. Everybody else had gone firm in a circle around them, and every single marine in the troop looked alert and ready to fire. The rain made no difference to them. One of their people had been hit, and their collective anger was palpable in the air.
Kate realised that she had never felt so tired. Belatedly she remembered that Tyler had shoved a Powerbar in her jacket pocket before they left, and she reached for it and started eating. It tasted like cardboard, but she had to keep her strength up. When Tyler’s voice came on the radio she felt a sudden urge to cry. She wanted her near. She wanted to be able to touch her and know that she was okay. She did not know where those feelings were coming from, but she felt overwhelmed by them. Kate brushed at her eyes, and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself.
She had to stay focused. Now was not the time to fold.
“Guys, we’re leaving,” Tyler announced suddenly. “Keep your eyes open and cover your arcs. Let‘s go.”
Kate stood up and prepared to move off. It was freezing cold and after just about five minutes she found that she was struggling to keep up with the pace. She wished she had stayed in bed now instead of going running earlier. Tyler was up in front, just ahead of her, and she was crashing through the fields at a crazy sort of speed. Everyone was struggling.
It took them only thirty-five minutes to get back, five excruciating miles zigzagging through a maze of flooded fields. They could not use proper paths, or roads, for fear of stepping onto an IED. Similarly, they could not go back the exact same way that they had come in the morning.
It was as if Tyler had chosen the most difficult, treacherous route she could possibly find. But it paid off. They did not encounter any IEDs. And no one took a shot at them.
Kate felt dizzy with exhaustion by the time they made it back. She dropped her Bergen on the ground as soon as she knew she was safe, and she bent over, hands on her knees, struggling to catch her breath. What the hell was wrong with her today, she wondered. She was not a runner all right, but still she could not understand why she was feeling so out of it.
“Kate.”
She looked up at the sound of Tyler’s voice. She smiled weakly, noting that Tyler did not look the slightest bit tired. Soaked to the skin, muddy, cold, yes. But not tired. In fact she appeared to be vibrating with some secret energy, and she looked very beautiful. Her eyes were burning, and when she spoke her voice shook a little. No secret energy, Kate realised then, just too much adrenaline. This was not necessarily a good thing.
“I just spoke to base,” Tyler informed her. “Sam is still touch and go, but he’s a fit guy and they really think that he is going to make it. You did great out there today Kate,” she added with feeling.
“Thanks…”
Tyler frowned.
“Are you okay? You look really pale.”
“Fine,” Kate reassured her quickly. “Just hungry I guess.”
“Right. I need to speak to the guys before they stand down and I have to go through debrief. You go take a shower, get into some dry clothes and warm up. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Kate nodded, too tired to talk, and Tyler was gone in an instant.
Chapter Eight
Two hours later it was her turn to face the dreaded shower. Solar panels or not, the water these days was pretty much always cold. At least they had some, she reflected, as always trying to focus on the positive. She stood under the icy trickle of water and gritted her teeth, her thoughts on the events of the last few hours.
She was feeling hot, burning rage at the thought that one of her men had nearly been killed again. Somehow she would have liked nothing better than if the Taliban had tried to attack them on the way back. She had been ready for a fight, desperate for one even, and the run back had not even made a dent in her. She was still consumed with adrenaline, and as she stared at her hands she realised that she was shaking. Suddenly concerned, she took several deep breaths, closed her eyes and concentrated on calming down.
Get a grip Tyler, she thought angrily. No time for panic or nerves out here. She was angry with herself enough as it was, having lost it in front of Kate the other day.
She washed herself and washed her hair, twice, getting rid of mud and blood in record time. Once she had put on clean fatigues and a warm, thick fleece she started to feel better. She put on clean socks and her boots back on, glad that it had stopped raining. She needed a
hot drink, and to find Kate.
Kate, who had been on her mind all day.
Tyler walked quickly toward their tent, reflecting on how quickly she had gotten used to having the medic around with her, pretty much all of the time. She felt a little bit out of sync when she could not see her, when she did not know where she was. She felt incredibly easy around Kate, and she was getting used to the way the woman always seemed to want to touch her, hold her, as if just being close was never enough. She was doing it too much. A few times Tyler had caught her eyes on her, seen tenderness reflected in her expression. If she could see it then everybody else probably could as well. And Tyler knew she had to be careful.
As for herself, she liked the way Kate behaved with her a little too much. She could not afford to get used to it. If nothing else, Kate would be gone soon.
Still, Tyler had started to wonder how it would feel to kiss her, and touch her. It was not a side of her life which Tyler normally chose to pay much attention to. She purposely avoided intimate relationships, and as a Marines officer who spent months at a time away from home in war zones across the world, working with men who she did not fancy, she was lucky that her career made being single the easiest option of all.
But with Kate, recently, she had been reminded of these feelings. Sometimes she wanted to hold her, and be held by her. And talk. For hours. Just nothing else. She had not felt that in years, and she did not want to feel those things ever again, despite Collins‘ well-meaning advice the previous night.
Irritated once more for not being able to control her thoughts, Tyler ducked into her tent and found it empty. She walked to the kitchen area and looked around impatiently, frowning.
“Hey Lenster, you seen the doc anywhere?” she asked.
“Hey boss. Not tonight, no. Hey, I was kind of hoping I could dig into your stash of chocolate ,” he added hopefully.
“Knock yourself out,” Tyler muttered, and she started to walk away. Pretty much immediately though she caught herself, and turned back to smile at him.
“How’re you doing buddy?” she asked. “Okay?”
He gave her a grateful smile and nodded.
“Yeah boss.”
“Good.”
“I just hope those guys got destroyed by the jet like you said.”
“I believe he got them. If not, we will. Throw me a couple of Sneakers bars and feel free to share the rest of it with the guys.”
Armed with the right kind of supplies, Tyler’s next stop was the medical tent. She walked in and looked around, instantly worried when she did not see Kate.
“Kate!” she called loudly.
“Right here, Ty…”
Tyler spun around and stared.
“Hey. What are you doing on the floor?” she asked. “It’s freezing in here.”
She walked over to where Kate sat, her back against a row of folded stretchers, paperwork spread out all around he
r on the thick floor cover.
“Just catching up on some work. I was going to come and find you.”
“Found you first. What’s up doc?”
“I need your help with something.”
“Okay.” Tyler nodded and sat cross-legged in front of Kate. “You look exhausted,” she observed.
“I am. I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning. This running thing you do is definitely not for me.”
Kate caught Tyler’s right hand in hers and gave her a small smile. “You, on the other hand, look really gorgeous,” she said simply.
Tyler gazed at her in silence for a couple of seconds, surprised at the unusual compliment and resisting the urge to simply pull her into her arms. She noticed how pale she looked, how Kate seemed to be struggling to keep her eyes open. Something was off. Kate did not just look tired, she looked ill. Then Tyler’s gaze drifted down to her sleeve, and she narrowed her eyes at the tiny droplets of blood dripping from it.
“What the hell… Kate.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you hurt?”
Kate exhaled slowly, and to Tyler’s amazement she nodded yes.
“That’s why I was going to come and find you,” she repeated. “It’s nothing much but it needs stitches.”
Past the initial moment of shock, when her heart nearly jumped out of her chest, Tyler felt instantly angry, almost let down.
“For God’s sake, why didn’t you tell me?” she demanded, her eyes wide in disbelief.
“Because I didn’t know myself,” Kate answered calmly. “Honest. I only realised when I was in the shower. Then I put a bandage on it but it seems to be leaking…”
She tried to shrug it off and winced in pain as she did. Tyler’s anger disappeared in an instant, replaced instead by a low simmering fear, coming from somewhere deep inside her. Earlier on that afternoon she had had her arm inside a colleague’s open neck wound trying to stop him from bleeding to death, and now Kate was bleeding too. That was way too close for comfort. The back of her neck nearly seized up with tension, and panic forced its way inside her chest. She had to take a deep breath to stop herself from getting dizzy.
She had to do something.
“Okay, let’s get you up,” she said quickly.
She leaned forward and wrapped both arms around Kate’s waist.
“Hold on to me,” she instructed.
“Watch your back, I’m heavy…”
“Do I look like I‘m weak? Come on, hold on to me.”
Kate wrapped her good arm around Tyler’s neck, feeling a little bit faint as the captain pulled her up with her slowly. She swayed a little in spite of herself and gritted her teeth. Her arm really did hurt and she was feeling dizzy.
“Okay?” Tyler asked quietly.
Kate nodded at the same time as her legs trembled. For a second she thought she might simply pass out, and she held tighter onto Tyler.
“Are you okay?” Tyler repeated, and her voice was thick with worry.
“A little faint,“ Kate murmured. “Just don’t let go, okay?”
Tyler shook her head and held her harder.
“Of course not,” she said.
She walked Kate to one of the camp beds and helped her to sit down on it. She kept a hand safely on her back in case she should fall.
“Okay, now show me,” she said.
Kate slipped her arm out of her sleeve, again wincing as she moved it.
“It looks a lot worse than it is,” she warned as Tyler slipped on a pair of gloves.
“Sure,” Tyler muttered, unconvinced.
Carefully, she unwrapped the bloody bandage, and Kate watched her expression darken as she saw what was underneath.
“Oh, Kate,” she murmured in dismay.
“It’s all right, Ty.”
“No. No it isn’t. Not even close.”
“I think I got hit just as Collins knocked me to the ground. Might
have been worse if he hadn‘t.”
“And you didn’t feel anything?” Tyler asked with a shake of the head.
“Maybe I did... I'm not sure. Too many things going on all at once I guess. But it’s just a graze, nothing serious.”
“It’s deep, Kate,” Tyler stated with a quick glance at her.
Her eyes were dark with concern.
“And it’s bleeding too. Damn! I can‘t believe I didn‘t notice it when we were out.”
“As I recall you had quite a few other things to worry about at the time. Can you stitch me up?”
“I think so. I’ve done it before. But don‘t you want David to do it?”
“No. I want you to do it,” Kate said in a low voice. “Please. Is that okay?”
She did not want anybody else near her right now. Only Tyler. The captain looked closely at her, saw tears shining in her eyes before Kate blinked them away quickly.
“Of course,“ she said gently. “I’ll do it, no problem. Do you need pain killers before I start? A local anaesthetic or something?”
“Already had some of that,” Kate replied tiredly.
Tyler followed her gaze to a discarded syringe set on the table, and she could not help but smile a little.
“You know, Kate, you don’t have to do everything yourself in this place. We‘re a team.”
“I know. You and me. So that’s why you’re going to do the stitching.”
With a quick shake of the head, Tyler set to work. It took seven stitches, and when she finished she exhaled softly and shook the tension out of her arm. She glanced at Kate, whose intense brown eyes had remained locked onto her the entire time that she was working on her arm.
“So what do you think doctor, I have potential?” she asked.
She tried to sound amused but she was feeling way too wound up to succeed.
“You have very nice hands.”
“You mean good.”
“Yeah. Very nice good hands,” Kate repeated with a chuckle.
“You sound a little drunk,” Tyler observed quietly.
“That would be the morphine. I don’t normally take anything, you know... Bandage me up and take me to bed please?”
She gave Tyler a sleepy smile as she spoke, but her eyes told a different story. Tyler wondered if she was aware of how that had sounded, and that every time she looked at her Kate’s eyes gave her feelings away. But one look at her incredibly pale face convinced her otherwise.
Although it was difficult, she kept her emotions firmly under control, and carried on with what she was doing. As gently as she could, she wrapped a thick bandage around Kate’s arm and secured it in place with several strips of tape. Then she threw her bloody gloves in the trash, thinking that she had had quite enough of the sight of blood for one day.
It was pitch black and very cold as they crossed the camp back to their tent, and Tyler kept a firm grip on Kate, who seemed to struggle a little with walking a straight line.
As always groups of marines were milling around, wide awake, busy with a million little tasks. Still unsettled by the afternoon’s events and feeling incredibly restless, Tyler was torn between going out to spend some time with them and staying with Kate. But one look at the injured medic’s pale face was enough for her to decide that she should stay put for the time being.
When they got back to their tent Kate sat heavily on her bed and bent forward to undo her laces.
“Let me do that for you,” Tyler offered immediately.
She helped to take Kate’s boots and trousers off in silence, she helped her to lie down on the bed, and she set a bottle of water within easy reach of her bed.
“Are you warm enough in there?” she asked.
“Toastie…”
As Kate burrowed deeper into her sleeping bag, she reached for Tyler’s hand and drew her close.
“Can you stay a bit?” she asked.
“I wasn’t going anywhere.”
Kate looked unusually small and vulnerable, and Tyler hated seeing her like this. She was reminded of the many
friends she had lost to Afghanistan, and again she felt that low threatening buzz of panic deep inside her heart.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to get David to have a proper look at you?” she asked again, and she was not surprised when Kate shook her head no.
“And you call me stubborn.”
“That‘s cos you are.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes. But I kind of like that about you.”
Tyler shook her head and forced a smile, just for Kate. She felt so on edge. She wanted to stay with her, but she had to find something to do or she feared she might literally start to hover around the tent with all the tension of the day.
“How about a bit of music then?” she suggested.
Kate’s eyes lit up, and she looked so beautiful all of a sudden it made Tyler's heart ache.
“Yes,” she exclaimed. “I haven’t even seen your guitar yet.”
“Well, it’s been a busy few weeks.”
Tyler sat on the side of her bed with her guitar cradled in her lap. She smiled as she looked at it.
“This one’s been with me through Iraq once, and two tours of Afghanistan,” she remarked. “It’s taken a few knocks along the way but all it needs is a new set of strings now and then, and it’s good to go. So, Ms Sanderson, any special requests for you tonight?”
“Melissa Etheridge,” Kate said without hesitation.
“Ha! Good choice…”
Tyler went through the opening chords of several different songs, warming her fingers up. She looked up at Kate, pleased when she saw how attentive she was, yet a little bit uncomfortable at the intensity of her gaze.
“You like this one?” she asked, and she launched into an impeccable version of You Can Sleep While I Drive.
“It’s one of my favourites,” Kate said, beaming.
“Yeah, me too.”
Tyler played for a little while, until she felt the stress of the afternoon begin to fade away, until calm settled inside her heart again. Until she could look at Kate without the thought of her being injured twisting her stomach so hard that she could barely breathe. Music always helped, but tonight it took longer.
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