by Lane Hart
I got out of my car, feeling like I’d aged ten years in the span of four months, and started up the sidewalk. As I approached the front door, Elizabeth walked by the large living room window, taking off her coat. She paused in mid-motion when she saw me standing outside. She looked … her stomach was … oh my God!
I stood frozen even after she'd opened the door. I finally made my legs work to take the few steps to her, then fell to my knees, covering her pregnant belly with my hands.
"Oh God. Elizabeth," I said, knowing and not even caring about the tears running down my face. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, stunned as I looked up at her beautiful, sad face.
She sank to her own knees and wrapped her arms around me.
"I miss you so much it’s killing me. Please, please forgive me, because I can't keep living without you, especially now," I begged her.
"I forgive you. I love you Tom, and I've missed you so much," she said softly, making me sag in relief that my nightmare without her was finally over. I couldn't let her go, and I knew I was probably holding her too tight.
"I've never seen anything more beautiful than you pregnant with my child. How are you feeling? How long have you known?" I asked her, still shocked but happier than I’d ever been in my life.
"About eight weeks, and I've been throwing up almost the entire time, but it's finally getting better."
That would be the first of February.
"So you knew? When I was here on Valentine's Day? Why didn't you tell me then? I would've taken care of you," I pulled her from me just enough to look at her as I asked all the questions running through my mind.
"I don't know. I was afraid I'd give in like I am now, and then you'd hurt me like you did her," she said.
"Elizabeth, I promise, married to you or not, I will never be unfaithful to you. I should've been honest with you, but I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me until the divorce was final. I couldn't wait that long to be with you. I never loved her at all, and I know she didn't love me either."
"Then why'd you get married?"
"My mom planned the wedding with her and told me to be there. I didn't know what I wanted, so I went through with it. The day I saw you that changed. For the first time in my life I knew I wanted to be with you, and nothing else mattered. And I'm pretty sure you felt the same way about me until the day she showed up."
"I did, and I haven't been able to let you go, no matter how hard I’ve tried," Elizabeth said sadly, then rubbed her noticeable bump. "She's a constant reminder of how much I loved and missed you."
"Seeing you pregnant is the most amazing thing," I told her as I continued to rub her belly. "I can't take my hands off of you knowing that's our daughter in there. Kate?" I asked.
"Yes, but it may not even be a girl."
"I'm betting it will be, and she's going to be just as beautiful as you," I told her, then kissed her for the first time in three months. Nothing had ever felt so incredible as that moment with her in my arms.
…
I spent the next twenty-four hours in bed with Elizabeth, holding her and kissing every inch of her, especially her pregnant belly.
"Have I told you how much I missed you?" I asked as I hovered over her.
"Only a few hundred times," she said with a smile. I'd missed seeing her smile more than anything.
"Oh, I have something for you, and I hope you'll keep it," I told her jumping out of bed to find my jacket. I pulled out the ring box that I'd carried around with me every day since she'd mailed it back to me in January, and removed the ring.
"Even though we can't get married until December, I know without a doubt I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you please just consider the possibility of marrying me?"
A tear slid down her cheek but she nodded. "Yes, I’ll marry you. I meant it when I said I forgive you, and I'm not sure I could live without you."
"Thank God," I said, letting go of the last of my worries and concerns. I climbed back up on the bed and slid the ring over Elizabeth's small finger. "Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise you won't regret it. There are no more secrets. You know where I work, and that I'm technically married. I'm not hiding anything else from you."
"So you're still an agent?" she asked.
"Yes. I was too scared to leave. Afraid they'd eventually send someone else for you and Jason. And now, I don't know, maybe it's the best way to keep you and the baby safe, unless you'd rather I quit? I'll do whatever you want me to do.”
"I think you might be right. Hiding us in plain sight is probably easier than having to move and worry all the time. I just can't stand the thought of all the terrible things you'll have to do."
"I'll do what I can to save people while I'm there, and I won't ever kill anyone myself unless it's in self-defense. Shit, sometimes we go months without a case. There really aren't that many supernatural beings left."
"I met two the other day," she said with a smirk.
"What? Where?"
"At the restaurant. Two vampires, Sam and Joselin. They're my regulars, but I didn't know what they were until I was sad and talking about you being a D.R.A. agent. They even told me to give you another chance, and said to let them know if I ever needed anything."
"Wow. I'm glad you listened to them. What were they like? I've only seen one vampire, and he was homicidal and running from us."
"They're completely normal looking, very attractive and really nice."
"Do they eat? Like regular food?"
She laughed. "Yeah, they come in to eat all the time. And no, they didn't have any fangs that I could see."
"Wow, it's amazing that they're able to blend in so well. I wonder how they get blood."
Chapter Sixteen
Elizabeth
Words couldn’t describe how happy I was to have Tom back in my life. Letting go of all the pain his lie had caused me made me feel light enough to float. I knew all along that we loved each other, I just wasn't sure I could trust him again. But I did, and it felt so perfect to be with him again. I know I would have been okay raising our baby alone, but having a family with Tom was a dream come true, and he was just as excited as I was to become a parent.
He immediately put in for a transfer to the Charlotte D.R.A. office. It was approved immediately, as they were in desperate need of agents. Since Charlotte was a two hour commute, he worked longer hours Monday through Thursday to have Friday through Sunday off to be with me.
Jason decided to move out to let Tom and I have the house. I would have protested, but I wanted this to be his chance to get out of this town and live his own life. For some reason, he still refused to leave the city.
Over the next six months Tom and I turned Jason’s old bedroom into the baby's nursery. I wish I knew for sure whether to buy pink or blue decorations, but we’d just have to wait and let it be a surprise. I still thought we were going to have a girl, but I left the room in the neutral yellows and greens just in case. Tom had insisted on buying out the baby section of all the local stores. We’d stocked diapers, wipes, bottles, formula and everything the baby could ever possibly need.
Tom convinced me to stop working at the restaurant and grocery store so I could concentrate on school, and I agreed since it gave me more time to volunteer at the Boys & Girls Club. I even enrolled in Madison's two summer sessions to pick up extra credit hours. I needed something to keep me busy. I was so excited to meet our baby, and couldn’t wait to get to September. We weren’t sure about the due date, but based on the possible conception dates being at the end of December, we guessed the baby would be here sometime around mid to late September.
We enrolled in the new parenting class at the Women's Hospital, and tried to learn as much as possible about the birthing process. We knew we were on our own since there was no way I could step foot in a hospital, or let anyone else help and find out our secret.
During the second week in September I woke up in the middle of the night for the third time to use the restroom
, only when I sat up in the bed blood poured out of me.
"Tom!"
"Elizabeth? What's wrong?" he asked startling awake beside me.
"The baby. I'm bleeding. A lot. Oh God!" I screamed.
"Shit! I'd give anything for a medical degree right now," he said frantically, then the pain started.
"I'm pretty sure I'm having contractions,” I gasped. “So maybe it's just time."
"I'm not ready for this. What if something happens to you or the baby because I don't know what the hell I'm doing?"
"It's going to be fine. You can do this. You have to," I told him, trying to calm him down.
I already knew the outcome when I saw all the blood. I had that strange sense of déjà vu that always occurred when one of my premonitions was coming to pass. There was no way to change it, and I had accepted it, but I hated how tough it would be on Tom. I didn't want to leave him. He was going to blame himself, but he’d have Kate to help him get through everything. It was still so unfair. I’d had dreams of him taking care of her as a baby, and then a little girl, and her all grown up. I was never with the two of them.
At least I’d had some way to see the life she would have. I just wish I could have been a part of it, too. I saw Kate happy with her own family, Tom actually becoming a vampire and finding someone he'd love, and who would love him just as much as I do. He’d never believe me if I told him he was going to become a vampire, so I didn’t even try.
As the hours went by, the worse the pain became, and the more blood I lost. Tom was panicking, and I knew there wasn’t much time left.
“Tom, I already know how this ends, and there’s nothing you can do.”
“No, Elizabeth. Please don’t say that. You're going to get through this and be fine,” he said, sweat pouring from him, and his hands shaking. I knew he was starting to have his own doubts. “It’s almost over,” he assured me, squeezing my hand in his.
I must have passed out because the next time I opened my eyes the bed was soaked in black blood as far as I could see, and I barely had the strength to hold my head up.
“Oh Elizabeth, thank God! The baby’s coming but I think you’re going to have to push. Are you able to? I don’t know what else to do.”
“I'll try,” I told him, and with the next few contractions I pushed with all the strength I had left in me. Suddenly our daughter was out and screaming, and I was fighting the pull of unconsciousness trying desperately to drag me under.
“Oh my God … look at her. You were right, a girl, and she looks so perfect and healthy,” Tom exclaimed in awe.
I watched him as he smiled down at her, holding her delicately as he wiped her off and wrapped her in a towel.
“She’s worth it,” I told him weakly. “Seeing you hold her, makes it all worth it.”
“I know you can’t wait to hold her too. She’s amazing,” he said, smiling as he put her in my arms.
“She’s beautiful.” Kate blinked up at me with eyes the color of mine, and I touched every inch of her perfect tiny body, holding her to me until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
“Elizabeth?”
“You’ll have to take care of her Tom. I can’t hold on much longer.”
“No! You’ve got to. Your daughter needs you. I need you!” he said as he cradled Kate in his arms and tears ran down his face. “I can’t live without you. I’ve tried, and I can’t.”
“You’re both going to be fine. I’ve seen you in my dreams,” I told him with a smile. “You're going to raise Kate into a beautiful woman, and she's going to have her own family. I’ve actually met the two people who’ll eventually love you both. Vampires if you can believe it.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten you pregnant! Damn it, if I’d known-” I stopped him when he started blaming himself.
“I promise you Tom, you two are everything I've ever wanted. She’s worth it. Remember what you told me? Life’s not fair and sometimes it doesn’t make sense. But … fate is fate, and everything turns out exactly as it’s supposed to in the end.”
“You said vampires. Maybe they can turn you, maybe they can save you!” he was growing more and more hysterical.
“I love you, Tom. Tell Jason I love him and will miss him. Tell her … tell Kate how much I wanted her and love her.”
My body felt so light that I couldn’t stop the sleep from taking me under. Thinking about how sweet and right it’d been to see Tom holding our daughter, I prayed I’d keep dreaming of them in my sleep.
“Elizabeth, no! I love you so much, please … please don’t leave me!”
I heard Tom’s heartbreaking pleas, and wanted to stay with him and Kate more than anything, but I couldn’t fight it any longer.
Chapter Seventeen
Tom
I held the baby carefully as I flipped frantically through Elizabeth’s planner. She’d told me months ago she had the number for the vampires she met. What were their damn names? I couldn’t think as I went through it. She can’t be gone, she just ... couldn't be. There has to be something I can do to save her.
Johanna, Joanne, Joselin! That was it. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number, listening impatiently as it rang. Kate was asleep in my arms, innocently oblivious to what was going on around her, and looking like a beautiful tiny angel.
“Hello?” answered a female voice.
“Is this the vampire?” I asked in a hurry.
“What? Who is this?”
“Elizabeth met you at the restaurant, and you told her you were a vampire. Are you one or not?”
“I, well, yes I am.”
“Can you save her?”
“Save her? What’s wrong? Oh no, the baby?”
“I can’t lose her! Can you bring her back?”
“Oh my God! No, I’m so sorry. Witches can’t be turned. I wish I could help but all I can offer is my blood. There’s a chance it might help her heal. How bad is it?”
“She’s, she’s gone. She stopped breathing and- oh God! I can’t do this. She was everything.”
“This is … I’m so sorry. Did the baby make it?”
“Yes, she’s … she’s perfect, and healthy.”
“Then focus on taking care of her. She needs you, and she’ll help you get through this.”
“I can hardly look at her it hurts so much.”
“You’re all she has left. Liz named her Kate right?”
“Yeah…yes.”
“I know she loved her so much, and now you have to take care of her. She’s going to be all that you have left of Liz.”
“I’ll try.”
“Do you need-,”
I hung the phone up and leaned against the wall. I didn’t know what to do. Elizabeth was gone and I wanted to die too. But Kate needed someone, and there wasn't anyone I could trust to take care of her and raise her.
I didn't know anything about babies or how to be a father. Elizabeth would have been a great mother, but now Kate would never even know her. I sobbed as I sank down on the couch, holding her to me, hoping I’d eventually find the strength to take care of her.
A baby’s cry jerked me into consciousness. “Oh shit!” I woke up praying it had all been a horrible nightmare, only to find Kate’s tiny body lying on my shoulder as she cried. I sat there and looked at her a minute before I realized I needed to do something for her. She was probably hungry.
I pulled myself off the couch and headed to the kitchen. Elizabeth and I had bought everything the baby would need months ago. It was just a matter of finding the bottle and reading the instructions on the formula. I could do that. I had to do that.
I never imagined I’d be doing this without Elizabeth to help me. Oh God. The pain in my chest was almost more than I could stand, but Kate was now my responsibility and mine alone. She was depending on me to take care of her, and I was going to do everything I could for her.
After talking to Joselin there was absolutely no one else I could call for help. Shit! I needed to call Jason. I’d been so caugh
t up in my own grief I didn’t even think about him or how hard losing Elizabeth will be for her twin.
I got the bottle fixed and warmed to what I thought was not too cold or too hot, and gave it to Kate while I sat down and dialed his number. I wasn’t even sure if I could form words at this point, but Jason needed to know.
“Hello? Liz? Are you okay?” he asked, still groggy from sleep. I cleared my throat and tried to speak.
“Jason, it’s Tom.”
“Tom? What’s wrong? Is Liz in labor?” his voice spiked with anxiety.
“The baby … the baby’s here.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you call me sooner? How’s Liz?”
“I’m sorry.”
“You're sorry? Tom, you son of a bitch, what the hell is going on?”
“I’m so sorry Jason. She said to tell you she loved you, and that … she'd miss you.”
While I tried to clear my throat and pull myself together I heard a crash on the other line before he spoke again.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Elizabeth, she … she didn’t make it. She was bleeding so much and it wouldn’t stop-”
“No. No way. She was perfectly healthy … she couldn’t be ... fuck! This is all your fault!” he yelled through the phone.
“I know it’s my fault! If I hadn’t … if we hadn’t …” Then there was nothing but a dial tone on the other end of the phone. I knew he was on his way over. Maybe he’d be so angry he’d put me out of my misery. I could probably count on him to take care of Kate for Elizabeth.
The front door burst wide open about five minutes later and Jason stormed through the house, coming to an abrupt halt when he saw me holding Kate. I looked down and noticed for the first time there was black blood all over me, my hands, and the baby’s towel.