Baby.
She whispered it in his mind like the stroke of her fingers along his skin. Teasing. Loving. Their own private world.
Julian swallowed hard. His face was a mask of indifference, aloof, his hard, watchful eyes surveying the crowd mercilessly, yet inside he was melting with the warmth only she could produce in him.
Chapter Fourteen
Julian took Desari’s hand and walked her out into the forest. The concert had seemed endless, and there had been so many people to talk with after the performance. Well-wishers, reporters, fans—far too many people for Julian’s liking. It went on for most of the night. Now he allowed the peace of the mountains and the night breeze to push away the sounds of the crowd and the crush of so many humans pushing close to his lifemate. He was not altogether certain he would survive this life she insisted on. It was so foreign to the nature of a Carpathian male to allow so many near her, yet Desari took it for granted that he would just accept it.
“I do not, you know. I have never taken anything for granted,” she protested, sharing his thoughts. “I know how difficult this is for you, and I appreciate the way you support me in my choice.”
His dark eyes swept over her sincere expression, his eyebrows raised slightly. “You do, do you? Appreciate the way I support your choice?” He said the words softly, a hint of laughter in their depths. “And you look so perfectly honest and genuinely earnest with your far too beautiful eyes.”
She tightened her hand around his. “I am completely sincere, Julian. I know this is hard on you, but it truly is my way of life.”
“This century,
cara.
For only this century will I allow it.” She laughed softly. “You think.”
“I know. My heart cannot take the constant strain of worry. So many males hanging around you with not-so-pure thoughts. It sets my teeth on edge. And we are not even counting the vampires who appear to be stalking you and the other female at every turn.”
“Syndil,” Desari corrected softly. “Her name is Syndil.”
Julian heard the reproof in her voice, felt the tears in her mind. She loved Syndil as a sister, loved her and missed their close camaraderie. Even Julian filling her life could not take away the sorrow of what had happened. She wanted Syndil back again, whole and healed. Even her voice could not undo the brutality of what Savon had wrought. Syndil wouldn’t accept her aid. Desari felt helpless and could only watch as Syndil seemed to withdraw more and more into herself.
He caught glimpses of Desari’s memories. Syndil laughing, her eyes alight with the sheer joy of living. Syndil hugging her close, whispering womanly nonsense after they had teased Darius to distraction. The plots they hatched to attain a few hours of freedom. Secretly laughing at Barack’s anger with Syndil and Darius’s lectures when they were caught. They had had centuries together, so close, the only two females, with no other friends or confidantes sharing their innermost thoughts, fears, and joys.
Julian bent his head and rubbed his chin in the silk of Desari’s hair. He loved her.
Love.
It was so small a word, and people seemed to use it for everything. To him it was sacred. Desari was joy and light. Truth and beauty. She was love itself. She was the world and what it should be. He felt complete and at peace with her, even when she was driving him crazy. It amazed him, her cool confidence and tremendous gifts. Of course their women would have extraordinary gifts. Why hadn’t any of them realized? They had been so arrogant in their beliefs that the men had the powers, yet in truth, the males held only dark powers. How could that possibly compare to the gifts women brought to their world? Aside from the creation of life, obviously they had other things to offer, blessings of nature and peace, healing gifts far beyond the scope of the males.
Julian let his breath out slowly. “Syndil will be whole again,
piccola,
whole and happy once more. Time can heal where other things cannot. I feel it. I know it will happen. Do not continue to know such sorrow. She will return to you in a way totally unexpected. I do not know how I know this, but I do.”
Her large eyes searched his face before her long lashes veiled her expression. “You are not just saying this to ease my mind?”
“I do not say things to ease anyone’s mind. You should know that about me by now. Lifemates cannot tell an untruth to one another. Seek the information in my mind, Desari, and you will know I believe in what I say to you. And I will call her Syndil as you wish me to. If it is your desire that she be a sister to me, then it will be so.”
“Why do you never speak her name?”
He shrugged with his easy, casual grace, the ripple of power he took for granted, the enormous strength she was coming to know. “Habit. We do not often socialize with unclaimed females of our race, and we do not personalize them. It is a protection for both parties. As males grow close to the end, we would not want any of them fixating on one of our eligible females and perhaps...” He trailed off, suddenly not wanting to articulate it.
Desari swept a hand through her hair. “Attacking her,” she finished for him. “Syndil did not do anything to provoke Savon or lead him on. I know she did not.”
“It never occurred to me for one moment that she did such a thing. A female does not have to do anything to entice a vampire. The undead are perverted, grotesque, wholly evil. In their warped imaginations, they think that if they find an unclaimed female, or perhaps make a widow of one with a mate, they will find their lost souls. It can never be. Once they have chosen such a path, it is for all eternity, until one of our hunters is able to properly destroy them. Most try at some time to find a mate. They use mortal women and sometimes are even able to turn them without killing them. But the woman becomes deranged and feeds on the blood of children. It is a terrible burden to be forced to destroy such a victimized creature. That is the worst of all our jobs.” He stated it matter-of-factly, without looking for sympathy.
Her head brushed his shoulder, their bodies close as they walked together through the forest, winding their way aimlessly through the trees and brush. It was a small gesture, but the touch sent little shock waves through his body. She took away his distress. She gave him so much pleasure. Just being near her gave him pleasure. Breathing in her scent gave him pleasure.
“Julian, you give me the same feeling,” she assured him, pleased she was able to lift his spirits.
“You are a miracle to me,” he said. “You have no idea what you mean to me, what you are to me, and I can never find the words to tell you.”
But she was in his mind. She could feel his emotions, and they were overwhelming to her. To be thought of as he thought of her! It was a powerful weapon the men of their race wielded. How could a lifemate possibly refuse to comfort and love such a man? She wanted this for Darius. She wanted a woman to love him the way she loved Julian. She wanted someone for Syndil and Barack and Dayan, as well.
Julian laughed and curved his arm around her, sweeping her beneath the protection of his shoulder. Of course Desari would think of all the others, wanting to share her joy. It only made him love her more. “Look at the stars tonight, Desari. Tomorrow night there will be a storm. I feel it closing in around us. But tonight we walk together in the open and have time to enjoy ourselves.”
“It is nearly dawn,” she reminded him, a little smile creeping into her voice.
“It is a few hours until dawn,” Julian replied. “More than enough time to accomplish my task.”
“You have a task?” she asked, her dark eyes dancing at him.
“Absolutely. I have to convince you completely that I am the only man you will ever want or need in your lifetime.”
“My lifetime could be quite long,” she pointed out in warning.
“It will always be my first duty in life to ensure your safety at all times,
cara mia.
I want you to live with me a very long time.”
She turned to him, her body pressed close to his, her arms sli
ding around his neck. “How long is a
very
long time?” she murmured, her teeth nibbling at the strong line of his jaw.
His arms closed around her tightly as joy swept through his soul and a tidal wave of need consumed him. Julian bent his head to find her mouth with his. The sweet perfection of it. Velvet fire swept over him, through him, electricity arcing between them so that flames danced up their skin and through their bodies. A low growl escaped his throat, a soft sound of possession. Desari responded by moving even closer to him, her smaller frame molding itself to his.
A sound intruded. It was barely discernible, the rub of fur against a leaf, but it was enough to elicit a frustrated groan from Julian. He leaned his forehead against her crown. “This family unit you have is driving me over the edge. We have no privacy,
piccola,
none whatsoever.”
She laughed softly with the same frustration. “I know, Julian. But it is one of the small sacrifices we all pay for caring for one another. We help each other through any crisis.”
“Who is going to help me through this one? Believe me,
cara,
I am definitely having a crisis. I need you before I start to go insane.”
“I know. It is the same for me,” she whispered, her lips against the corner of his mouth, teasing, tempting. There was an ache in her voice, an answer to the ache in his. “We will have our time.”
“It had better be soon,” he growled, meaning it. There was a hidden laughter in her, one he felt in her mind, in her heart. She found humor in the situation yet wanted him with the same urgent need. Julian found he was smiling in spite of his body’s demands. There was something contagious about Desari’s laughter, whether it was in her mind or aloud. It was joy. Pure and simple. There was joy in him now where there had never been before.
Desari kissed his hard jaw, his stubborn chin. “We cannot desert Syndil at this time.”
“It is rather difficult to help her when she spends all her time in the form of a leopard.”
“Shh. There is nothing wrong with her hearing,” Desari cautioned, rising on tiptoe to kiss his eyebrow, rubbing at his frown with her cheek. “If she is willing to reach out for just a moment and talk to me as we used to, then I must be here for her.”
“Fine,” Julian agreed grudgingly. “But if that idiot Barack happens by with his hangdog look, tell him to keep going.”
“He seems to be strutting around these days with a rather macho look,” Desari pointed out. “He has gotten progressively worse since Savon’s attack on Syndil. He has appointed himself her personal bodyguard, and he is not very nice about it. Julian,” she added, her dark eyes lighting up with her brilliant idea, “maybe you should tell him to quit being so bossy. She needs him to be more gentle.”
Julian snorted inelegantly. “As if that will happen. I absolutely refuse to interfere with anything Barack is choosing to do. Carpathian males cannot do such things. We believe in allowing one another to work things out alone. Especially anything that might have to do with a woman. Now that I am thinking about it, perhaps I should go and leave you two females to talk privately.”
“Coward,” she whispered, her teeth nipping his ear. “Do not go far, as I have great need of you.”
Julian’s tall, muscular frame shimmered, then became transparent in the night air. He was smiling down at her, that little smirk that always got under her skin. Desari felt her heart take wing, soar, even as he disappeared, becoming part of the night itself.
Desari turned as the female leopard burst out from the brush, shape-shifting as it did so. “Desari.” Syndil’s voice was a mere thread of sound. “I am going to go away. I need to be far from these overbearing males. I do not wish to leave you, but it is necessary.”
Syndil was upset. Desari knew her so well, she knew every nuance of her voice. Yet, as always, Syndil appeared calm and unruffled. Desari reached out and took her hand. “It never bothered you before to have the males beating their chests like cavemen. We have always laughed together over their silly ways. Why are you allowing them to get to you now? If Darius has upset you, sister, I will speak to him myself.”
Syndil pushed impatiently at the long strands of hair framing her face. “It is not Darius, although he is bad enough. And Dayan, too, watches me all the time. But at least he does not say anything annoying to me. Barack, however, thinks himself my boss. He is rude and obnoxious all the time. I do not wish to put up with his arrogance one more moment.” She ducked her head so that her silky hair fell around her like a cloak, hiding her expression. “He denied I am his sister.”
Desari felt Syndil’s pain. Barack had really hurt her with that denial. They had been family, closer than family for centuries. How could Barack have said such a hurtful thing to Syndil? Desari had an unfamiliar urge to strike him. She put her arm protectively around Syndil’s shoulders. “I do not know why he would say such a thing, but you know he cannot mean it. He must be so worried about you that he says things without thinking.”
“Things to punish me because he thinks I, in some way, am responsible for what Savon did. Perhaps he wished Darius had killed me rather than Savon. He always looked up to Savon; you know that.” Syndil shrugged painfully, staring up at the darkened sky. “Who knows, maybe I did do something inadvertently to provoke Savon.”
“Absolutely not!” Desari denied adamantly. “You do not believe that, Syndil, and neither does anyone else. Julian says that the males turn after so many centuries without finding their other half. He says they have a choice, to meet the dawn or choose to lose their souls. Obviously Savon chose the latter. You cannot in any way believe you are responsible for anything that has been happening to the males of our race for hundreds, even thousands of years.”
“They all treat me differently now, but Barack is the worst.”
“Syndil,” Desari said gently, her voice soothing and gentle, “you
are
different. We all are. It is a change we have to go through just like any other, but as always, we go through it together. Barack may be having a difficult time adjusting to what happened to you. He may even feel responsible. Maybe he noticed Savon pulling away from us and did not say anything. Who knows? I believe he is simply trying to protect you. Perhaps he is going a bit overboard, but it might be that we should cut him a little slack.”
Syndil’s perfect eyebrows shot up. “Cut him some slack? He should cut me some slack. You do not see how he is with me. He is rude and abrasive and totally out of line. Even Darius does not speak to me as he does.”
Desari sighed and shoved a hand through her hair. “Do you want me to speak to him, Syndil?”
“I do not think it will be necessary. I meant what I said. I will be taking a vacation. It is time I went my own way for a while.” Syndil’s voice was defiant.
“Darius will never allow you to go away unprotected,” Desari reminded her gently. “He would send one of the men to look after you.”
A male leopard, large and well-muscled, moved out into the open and leapt with casual ease onto a low tree branch. It stared at the two women, its eyes unblinking, its sides rippling with power as it breathed steadily. Syndil glared at the animal. Desari shook her head.
Barack, you must stop pushing her so hard. She is going to run if you keep this up.
She used their common mental path, trying to convey the desperation Syndil was feeling.
She will go nowhere without the consent of Darius. And if he were to give it, there would be nowhere she could go that I would not follow.
The voice was arrogant.
Without warning, Julian shimmered into solid form beside Desari, his arm dropping protectively around her shoulders. His eyes, molten gold filled with menace, were fixed on the leopard above them. The disturbance in Desari’s mind had brought him instantly to her side. In that moment there was nothing easygoing about him, only a hard, implacable warrior honed by a merciless life.
Do not drive
her away from us,
Desari pleaded,
I beg you, be more gentle with her. You do not understand what has happened to her. She needs time to recover. I understand far more than you think, Desari. She is no longer living. She is merely existing. I cannot allow it to continue.
Barack sounded cold and distant.
Desari’s dark eyes filled with tears. She turned her head into Julian’s shoulder. “Please, Syndil, do not leave me. Not now. I need you here with me. Everything is so different.”
Syndil reached out and touched her hand. “If that is so, then he will not force me from my own family. I am strong enough to stand up to him.” She glared at the leopard, who simply watched her without so much as blinking. Nodding at Julian, she moved away from them, disappearing into the trees. The leopard jumped soundlessly from the branch and padded after her.
Desari glanced up at Julian. “Do you realize how really intimidating you can look when you want to? What did you think Barack was going to do?”
He shrugged with his casual grace. “It did not matter,
cara
. I did not like the way he made you feel. These other males seem to think they have the right to interfere with you women. Only your brother, as the acknowledged leader, has such a right and duty. The others can do no other than protect you, as Barack has tried to do with Syndil. He cannot chastise you. You are my lifemate and answerable only to me and the Prince of our people. In your case, perhaps to Darius as well. But not to Dayan. Not to Barack. Only to the leaders and your lifemate.”
Her dark eyes flashed with fire. “I am answerable to you?” Her voice was even softer than usual, a velvet volcano waiting to erupt.
Julian rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to allow the smile creeping up from his heart to show in his mind or on his face. “As I am answerable only to you, my lifemate, and to the Prince of our people.”
She studied the sensual beauty of his face for a long time. He was amused by her flares of feminism, she could clearly read that, although he wisely attempted to cover it up. Yet she found herself appreciative that Julian cared enough to try to put them on the same footing. Whatever rules he deemed necessary in his mind for his lifemate, he attempted to be fair enough to place the same on himself. Julian was in many ways a chauvinist, like most of the males she had encountered, yet he was at least attempting to make their relationship an equal partnership. She caught at his arm and slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow. “I seriously believe that I am beginning to fall in love with you.”
Dark Challenge (Dark Series - book 5) Page 26