She looked shocked. “Of course not! I pledged my word today, and that can’t be undone. I will do my best to be a good wife to you—but I don’t know if I will succeed.”
Some of the pain in his chest eased. As long as they were together, there was hope for building a loving marriage.
Though he had been counting the hours until they could be together, he said, “We needn’t share a bed tonight, when you’re so tired. It might be better to wait a few days until you’re more at ease with me.”
She hesitated, clearly tempted, before she shook her head. “I think it will be best to get it over with. Waiting will only give me more time to worry.”
He wanted to make love to his wife, and she wanted to “get it over with,” like a tooth extraction. Dear God, this was not what he had dreamed of! Yet perhaps she was right. Once she learned that intercourse was not as bad as she feared, she could relax and find pleasure in physical intimacy.
Yet he could not quite suppress the fear that his wife might never come to welcome his touch. He had been concerned ever since Augusta had ordered him to try to control his beastly animal nature. Obviously Augusta had loathed her own marital duties, and there was a strong possibility that she had passed her distaste on to her daughter.
His mouth tightened. Brooding would solve nothing. If his wife wanted the marriage consummated tonight, he would oblige. Partly because it might be the wisest course, but more because he wanted her with an intensity that was painful.
“Come then, my dear.” He untied the ribbons of her negligee and pushed it from her shoulders so that she was clad only in a sheer silk nightgown that revealed more of her tantalizing curves than it concealed. He drew a shaky breath. It was how he had dreamed of her—and at the same time, it was utterly wrong, for she looked at him with the despairing eyes of a wounded doe.
She colored under his hungry gaze and glanced away. “Could you... would you turn the lamps out?”
Though he yearned to see her unclothed, he said, “As you wish.”
As he put out the lights, she drew the curtains so that the windows were covered and the room became suffocatingly dark. Then she climbed into the bed with a faint creak of springs.
After removing his robe, he located the bed by touch and slid in beside her. He would have liked to take his nightshirt off, as well, but a man’s naked body might upset her more, even in the dark and under blankets.
He drew her into his arms and kissed her with all the tenderness he had been yearning to lavish on her. Though she did not reject him, her mouth was locked shut and her whole frame was tense and unyielding. No amount of patient skill on his part could soften her. In fact, his feather kisses and gentle stroking seemed to make her more rigid. He felt as if he was trying to ravish a vestal virgin.
Despairing, he pushed himself up with one arm and said hoarsely, “This isn’t right.”
“Please, just do it,” she said, an edge of hysteria in her voice.
His better nature surrendered, for despite his doubts, his body was hotly ready, burning for completion. He reached for the lotion he had provided to ease this first union.
She gasped when he raised the hem of her gown, separated her legs and touched her intimately. He hoped that she might respond positively to his sensual application of the lotion, but there was no change. She simply endured, her limbs like iron, her breath coming in short, frightened gulps.
Though his blood pounded in his temples, he forced himself to go slowly when he moved to possess her. Her body resisted and he heard the scratch of her nails digging into the sheets, but she made no protest.
When the frail membrane sundered and he thrust deeply into her, she gave a sharp, pain-filled cry. He held still, waves of exquisite sensation sweeping through him, until her breathing was less ragged.
Then he began to move, and his control shattered instantly. He loved her and she was his, and he groaned with delirious pleasure as he thrust into her again and again.
His mindless abandon had the advantage of swiftness, for he could not have prolonged their coupling even if he tried. After the fiery culmination, he disengaged and lay down beside her, trembling with reaction. He yearned to hold her close and soothe her distress, but hesitated to touch her. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he panted. “It won’t be this painful again.”
“I’m all right, Justin,” she said, voice shaking. “It...wasn’t as bad as I expected.”
It was a lie, but a gallant one. No longer able to restrain his impulse to cradle her in his arms, he reached out. If she would let him comfort her, something good would come of this night. But she rolled away into a tight little ball, and his searching fingers found only her taut spine.
The silence that descended was broken by the anguished sound of her muffled sobs. He lay still, drenched with self-loathing at the knowledge that he had found intoxicating pleasure in an act that had distressed her so profoundly.
After a long, long time, her tears faded and her breathing took on the slow rhythm of sleep. Quietly he slid from the bed and felt his way to the door that led to the sitting room, cracking his shin on a stool as he went.
A gas lamp burned in the sitting room, and he saw his haunted reflection in a mirror on the far wall. He turned away, unable to bear the sight of his own misery.
The suite was the most luxurious in the hotel, though not as richly furnished as the Vangelder houses. A porcelain bowl filled with potpourri sat on a side table. He sifted it through his fingers, and the air filled with a tangy fragrance.
He had reached for heaven and landed in hell. Their disastrous wedding night had not been the result of anything simple, like shyness on her part or ineptness on his part. It had been total rejection. The woman of his dreams couldn’t bear his touch, and there seemed little chance that she would change in the future.
Vases of flowers were set all over the room. Some he had ordered, others were courtesy of the hotel, which was embarrassingly grateful to have the Duke and Duchess of Thornborough as guests. He pulled a white rose from an elegant cut-glass vase. It was just starting to open, at the perfect moment when promise met fulfillment.
Inevitably, he thought of Sunny when he had first seen her at Swindon. Exquisite, laughing, without flaw.
And now she lay weeping in the next room, her bright gaiety gone. He supposed that part of the blame for that could be laid to a false lover, and part to Augusta, who loved her daughter with utter ruthlessness.
But most of the fault was his. By the simple act of wanting to marry her, he might have destroyed her blithe sweetness forever.
He began plucking out the satiny white petals, letting them drop one by one. She loved him, she loved him not, over and over, like a litany, as the scent of rose wafted around him.
The last petal drifted to the floor. She loved him not.
He lifted the vase and studied the artistry of the cut glass. Then, in one smooth, raging gesture, he hurled it across the room, where it shattered into a thousand pieces.
She loved him not.
Chapter 6
Justin glanced out the train window at the rolling English landscape. “We’ll reach Swindon station in about five minutes.”
Sunny lifted her hat from the opposite seat and secured it to her coiled hair with a pearl-headed hat pin. Since they were traveling in the luxurious solitude of the Thornborough private car, she had had ample space for her possessions.
As she prepared for their arrival, she surreptitiously studied her husband. His expression was as impassive as always, even though he was bringing his bride home for the first time. Didn’t he ever feel anything? In three weeks of marriage, he had never been anything but unfailingly polite. Civil. Kind. As remote as if he were on the opposite side of the earth.
Not that she should complain, for his calm detachment had made it possible to reach a modus vivendi very quickly. In public, she took his arm and smiled so that they presented a companionable picture to the world.
Naturally neither of them
ever referred to what happened in the silence of the night. Justin always ordered suites with two bedrooms so they could sleep separately. Every three or four days, with his gaze on the middle distance, he would ask if it was convenient for him to visit her.
She always gave her embarrassed assent, except for once when she had stammered that she was “indisposed.” She would have died of mortification if he had asked what was wrong, but he had obviously understood. Five days passed before he asked again, and by then she was able to give him permission to come.
As he had promised, there had been no pain after the first occasion, and soon her fear had gone away. Dutifully she obeyed her mother’s dictum and lay perfectly still while her husband did what husbands did. The marital act took only a few minutes, and he always left directly after.
Once or twice, she had felt his fingers brush through her hair before he climbed from the bed. She liked to think that it was a gesture of affection, though perhaps it was mere accident, a result of fumbling in the dark.
But her mother had been right; passive acceptance of her wifely role had won Justin’s respect. Besides treating her with the utmost consideration, he also encouraged her to speak her opinions. That was certainly an unusual sign of respect, as well as a pleasure few wives had.
They discussed a wide variety of topics: British and American politics, art and music, architecture and history. Though Justin was never talkative, his observations were perceptive and he seemed to genuinely enjoy listening to her chatter. Best of all, the conversations were slowly building a rapport between them. It wasn’t love—but perhaps someday it might be.
She prayed that that would happen, for living without love was a sad business.
Getting to her feet, she pulled on her sable-lined coat. Though it would warm her on the raw November day, that practical use was secondary. Before they left New York, her mother had emphasized that it was essential to wear her furs as a sign of wealth when she was first introduced to her new home and family. A good thing it wasn’t August. Unable to see all of herself in the mirror, she asked, “Do I look all right?”
Her husband studied her gravely. “You look very lovely. Exactly as a duchess should, but seldom does.”
The train squealed to a halt, and she glanced out to see a bunting-draped platform. “Good heavens!” she said blankly. “There are hundreds of people out there.”
“I did warn you.” He stood and walked to the carriage door. “It’s probably the entire population of Swindon Minor and everyone for five miles around. The schools will have given a holiday so that the pupils can come and wave flags at you.”
“It’s different actually seeing them.” Observing her husband’s closed expression, she said, “You don’t look very enthusiastic.”
“Gavin was much better at this sort of thing.” Perhaps that was true, but when Justin opened the door and stepped onto the platform, a roar of welcome went up. He gave a nod of acknowledgment, then turned to help Sunny step down. Another cheer went up, so she gave a friendly wave.
She met a blur of local dignities, all of whom gave speeches of welcome. Luckily she was good at smiling graciously, and the sables kept her from freezing in the chill, damp air.
The only part that stood out in her mind was the little girl who was pushed forward, clutching a bouquet in her tiny hands. “Give the posies to the duchess, Ellie,” her mother hissed.
Unclear on the theory, Ellie swept the bouquet around in circles. With a grin, Sunny intercepted it, then dropped a kiss on the child’s soft brown curls. “Thank you, Ellie!”
Another cheer arose. Sunny blushed. Her gesture had not been calculated, but apparently kissing babies was good policy everywhere.
The mayor of the borough assisted her into the waiting carriage and Justin settled beside her. However, instead of starting for the palace, there was a delay while the horses were unhitched. A dozen men seized the shafts and began pulling the carriage up the village high street as the church bell began to ring clamorously.
Sunny gave her husband a doubtful glance. “This seems dreadfully feudal.”
He lifted his hand in response to a group of exuberant uniformed schoolchildren. “This isn’t really for you, or for me, either. It’s a celebration of continuity. Of a life lived on this land for centuries. Swindon Palace belongs as much to the tenants as it does to the Aubreys.”
She supposed he was right, and certainly the crowd seemed to be having a very jolly time. Nonetheless, her democratic American soul twitched a bit. Trying to look like a duchess, she smiled and waved for the slow two miles to Swindon Palace.
Another crowd waited in the courtyard. After the newlyweds had climbed the front steps, Justin turned and gave a short thank-you speech in a voice that carried easily to everyone present. Gavin might have had a talent for grand gestures, but the tenants had had more daily contact with Justin, and they seemed to heartily approve of him.
After one last wave, she went inside with her husband. The greetings weren’t over yet, for a phalanx of Aubrey relations waited with a sea of servants behind them.
As she steeled herself for more introductions and smiles, two huge wolfhounds galloped toward the door, nails scrabbling on the marble floor. The sight of the enormous dogs charging full speed at her made Sunny give a small squeak of alarm.
Before the beasts could overrun them, Justin made a quick hand gesture and commanded, “Sit!”
Instantly the wolfhounds dropped to their haunches, though they wriggled frantically for attention. Justin stroked the sleek aristocratic heads, careful not to neglect either. “These were Gavin’s dogs. They miss him dreadfully.”
To Sunny, it looked as if the wolfhounds were perfectly satisfied with the new duke. It took a moment to realize that Justin’s comment was an oblique admission of his own grief.
She was ashamed of the fact that she had not really considered how profoundly he must feel his brother’s death. Though the two men had been very different, the first time she had seen them they had been standing side by side. They must have been close, or Justin would not have chosen to manage the family property when he could have done many other things.
While she was wondering if she should say something to him, the relatives descended. First in consequence was the dowager duchess, Justin’s mother, who wore mourning black for Gavin. Her forceful expression reminded Sunny of her own mother, though Augusta was far more elegant.
After a fierce scrutiny of the colonial upstart, the dowager said, “You look healthy, girl. Are you pregnant yet?”
As Sunny flushed scarlet, Justin put a protective arm around her waist. “It’s a little early to think about that since we’ve been married less than a month, Mother,” he said calmly. “Sunny, I believe you already know my older sisters, Blanche and Charlotte, and their husbands, Lord Alton and Lord Urford.”
Sunny had met all four in London during the season. The sisters were in the same mold as Gavin: tall, blond, handsome Aubreys whose self-absorption was tempered by underlying good nature. They examined Sunny’s furs with frank envy, but their greetings were friendly. After all, it was her money that would keep up the family home.
Next in line was Lady Alexandra, the Gargoylette. She hung back until Justin pulled her into a hug. It was the most affectionate Sunny had ever seen him. “I don’t believe you’ve met my little sister, Alexandra.”
He accompanied his introduction with a speaking look at his wife. Sunny guessed that if she was dismissive or abrupt, he would not easily forgive her.
Alexandra stammered a greeting, too bashful to meet her new sister-in-law’s eyes. Dark and inches shorter than the older girls, she looked very like Justin. There was nothing wrong with her appearance except that her mother dressed her very badly.
Following her instinct, Sunny also hugged her smallest sister-in-law. “Thank you so much for your letter!” she said warmly. “It was good to know that I would find a friend here.”
Alexandra looked up shyly. Her gray eyes were als
o like Justin’s, but where he was reserved, she was vulnerable. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said simply. “I saw you when you came to the garden fete last spring, and thought you were the loveliest creature in the world.”
A little embarrassed at such frank adoration, Sunny said lightly, “It’s amazing what a good dressmaker can do.”
Then it was onward to sundry Aubrey cousins and shirttail relations. After that, the butler and housekeeper, two very superior persons, welcomed her as their new mistress and presented her with a silver bowl as a wedding gift from the household.
While Sunny wondered how much the poor servants had been forced to contribute, she was paraded past ranks of maids and footmen as if she were a general reviewing troops. Finally it was time to go upstairs to prepare for dinner.
Justin escorted her to her new rooms. The duchess’s private suite was rather appallingly magnificent. Eyeing the massive, velvet-hung four-poster bed, Sunny asked, “Did Queen Elizabeth sleep there?”
“No, but Queen Anne did.” The corner of Justin’s mouth quirked up. “I know it’s overpowering, but I didn’t order any changes because I thought you’d prefer to make them yourself.”
Sunny thoughtfully regarded a tapestry of a stag being torn apart by a pack of dogs. “I don’t care if it is priceless, that tapestry will have to go. But I can bear it for now. How long do I have until dinner?”
“Only half an hour, I’m afraid. There’s more to be seen, but it can wait.” He gestured to a door in the middle of one wall. “That goes directly to my bedchamber. Don’t hesitate to ask if there’s anything you need.”
“I’m too confused to know what I need, but thank you.” Sunny took off her hat and massaged her throbbing temples. “Should you and I go down together for dinner?”
Weddings of the Century: A Pair of Wedding Novellas Page 12