Naturally the dowager duchess had disliked having such an ill-bred beast at Swindon, but she couldn’t order the dog out of the house when Justin approved. The dowager had resorted to mumbled comments that it was natural for Sunny to want a mongrel, since Americans were a mongrel race. Sunny ignored such remarks; she'd become very good at that.
As always, Daisy’s desire to play fetch exceeded Sunny’s stamina. Abandoning the game, they strolled to the little Greek temple, then wandered toward the house while Sunny thought of changes she would make in the grounds. A pity that nothing could be done at this time of year, for gardening would cheer her up.
In an attempt to stave off self-pity, she said, “I’m really very fortunate, Daisy. Most of Katie Westron’s dire warnings haven’t come true. Justin is the most considerate of husbands, and he is making the house very comfortable.” She glanced toward the palace, where men labored on the vast roof despite the weather. “My ceiling hasn’t leaked since before Christmas.”
She made a wry face. “Of course, it might be considered a bit strange that I talk more to a dog than to my husband.”
One of Katie’s warnings haunted her—the possibility that Justin might have a mistress. Could that be the real reason for his business trips? She loathed the thought that her husband might be doing those intimate, dark-of-the-night things to another woman. She tried not to think of it.
The dull afternoon had darkened to twilight, so she summoned Daisy and headed toward the house. If the best part of the day was riding with Justin, the worst was dining with the dowager duchess. Familiarity had not improved her opinion of her mother-in-law. Most of the dowager’s cutting remarks were directed at Justin, but she also made edged comments about Alexandra’s lack of looks and dim marital prospects. She usually spared Sunny, rightly suspecting that her daughter-in-law might strike back.
Sunny wondered how long it would be before she disgraced herself by losing her temper. Every meal brought the breaking point closer. She wished that Justin would tell his mother to hold her tongue, but he was too courteous, or detached, to take action.
When she got to the house, she found that her husband was in the entry hall taking off his wet coat. She thought his expression lightened when he saw her, but she wasn’t sure; it was always hard to tell with Justin.
“Hello.” She smiled as she took off her mackintosh. “Did you have a good trip to London?”
As the butler took away the coats, Justin gave Sunny a light kiss on the cheek, then rumpled Daisy’s ears. He was rather more affectionate with the dog. “Yes, but I’m glad to be home.”
He fell into step beside her and they started up the main stairs. The thought of a possible mistress passed through Sunny’s mind again. Though she knew that it was better not to probe, she found herself saying, “What are all these trips about, or wouldn’t I be able to understand the answer?”
“The Thornborough income has traditionally come from the land, but agriculture is a chancy business,” he explained as they reached the top of the stairs. “I’m making more diverse investments so that future dukes won’t have to marry for money.”
She stopped in mid-stride, feeling as if he had slapped her. When she caught her breath, she said icily, “God forbid that another Aubrey should have to stoop to marrying a mongrel American heiress.”
He spun around, his expression startled and distressed. “Sunny, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
Her brows arched. “Oh? I can’t imagine any meaning other than the obvious one.”
When she turned and headed toward the door of her suite, he caught her arm and said intensely, “You would have been my choice even if you weren’t an heiress.”
Her mouth twisted. “Prettily said, but you needn’t perjure yourself, Justin. We both know this marriage wouldn’t have been made without my money and your title. If you invest my money wisely, perhaps our son, if we have one, will be able to marry where he chooses. I certainly hope so.”
Justin’s hand fell away and Sunny escaped into her sitting room, Daisy at her heels. When she was alone, she sank wretchedly into a chair. She had been better off not knowing what Justin really felt.
Before she had wondered if he had a mistress; now, sickeningly, she wondered if he had a woman who was not only his mistress, but his beloved. There had been a raw emotion in his voice that made her think, for the first time, that he was capable of loving deeply. Had he been forced to forsake the woman he loved so that he could maintain Swindon?
Sensing distress, Daisy whimpered and pushed her cool nose into Sunny’s hand. Mechanically she stroked the dog’s silky ears. What a wretched world they lived in! But even if Justin loved another woman, he was her husband and she must make the best of this marriage. Someday, if she was a very good wife, perhaps he would love her, at least a little.
She desperately hoped so, for there was a hole in the center of her life that the frivolity of the Season would never fill.
* * *
Sunny’s depression was not improved by the discovery that the dowager duchess was in an unusually caustic mood. Throughout an interminable dinner, she made acid remarks about the neighbors, the government and most of all her son.
As fruit and cheese were served, she said, “A pity that Justin hasn’t the Aubrey height and coloring. Gavin was a much more handsome man, just as Blanche and Charlotte are far prettier than Alexandra.”
Suppressing her irritation, Sunny said coolly, “I’ve studied the portraits and the first duke, John Aubrey, was dark and of medium build. Justin and Alexandra resemble him much more than your other children do.”
The dowager sniffed. “The first duke was a notable general, but though it pains me to admit it, he was a very low sort of man in other ways. A pity that the peasant strain hasn’t yet been bred out of the family.” She gave an elaborate sigh. “Such a tragedy that Justin did not die instead of Gavin.”
Sunny gasped, stunned. How dare that woman say she wished Justin had died in his brother’s place! Justin was worth a dozen charming, worthless wastrels like Gavin. She glanced at her husband and saw that he was carefully peeling an apple, as if his mother hadn’t spoken, but there was a painful bleakness in his eyes.
If he wouldn’t speak, she would. Laying her fork beside her plate, she said flatly, “You must not speak so about Justin, Duchess.”
“You forget who I am, madam.” The dowager’s eyes gleamed with pleasure at the prospect of a battle. “As the mother who suffered agonies to bear him, I can say what I wish.”
“And you forget who I am,” Sunny said with deadly precision. “The mistress of Swindon Palace. And I will no longer tolerate such vile, ill-natured remarks.”
The dowager gasped, her jaw dropping open. “How dare you!”
Not backing down an inch, Sunny retorted, “I dare because it is a hostess’s duty to maintain decorum at her table, and there has been a sad lack of that at Swindon.”
The dowager swept furiously to her feet. “I will not stay here to be insulted by an impertinent American!”
Deliberately misinterpreting her mother-in-law’s words, Sunny said, “As you wish, Duchess. I can certainly understand why you prefer to have your own establishment. If I were to be widowed, I would feel the same way. The Dower House is a very charming residence, isn’t it?”
The dowager’s jaw went slack as she realized that a simple flounce from the table had been transformed into total eviction. Closing her mouth with a snap, she turned to glare at Justin. “Are you going to allow an insolent American hussy to drive me from my own home?”
Justin looked from his mother to his wife, acute discomfort on his face. Silently Sunny pleaded with him to support her. He had said that she was the mistress of Swindon. If he didn’t back her now, her position would become intolerable.
“You’ve been complaining that the new central heating gives you headaches, Mother,” Justin said expressionlessly. “I think it an excellent idea for you to move to the Dower House
so that you will be more comfortable. We shall miss you, of course, but fortunately you won’t be far away.”
Sunny shut her eyes for an instant, almost undone by relief. When she opened them again, the dowager’s venomous gaze had gone to her daughter. “The Dower House isn’t large enough for me to have Alexandra underfoot,” she said waspishly. “She shall have to stay in the palace.”
Before her mother-in-law could reconsider, Sunny said warmly, “Very true. Until she marries, Alexandra belongs at Swindon.”
“If she ever marries,” the dowager said viciously. Knowing that she was defeated and that the only way to salvage her dignity was to pretend that moving was her own idea, she added, “You shall have to learn to run the household yourself, Sarah, for I have been longing to travel. I believe I shall spend the rest of the winter in southern France. England is so dismal at this season.” Ramrod straight, she marched from the room.
Sunny, Justin and Alexandra were left sitting in brittle silence. Not daring to meet her husband’s eyes, Sunny said, “I’m sorry if I was disrespectful to your mother, but... but I’m not sorry for what I said!”
“That’s a contradiction in terms,” he said, sounding sad and weary, but not angry. Changing the subject, he continued, “By the way, I saw Lord Hopstead in London, and he invited us for a weekend visit and ball at Cottenham. I thought the three of us could go, then you could take Alexandra on to Paris for her fittings.”
Relieved that he didn’t refer to her confrontation with the dowager, Sunny said, “That sounds delightful. Are you ready for your first ball, Alexandra? I have a gown that will look marvelous on you with only minor alterations.”
“That’s very kind of you,” a subdued Alexandra said.
For several minutes, they stiffly discussed the proposed trip, none of them making any allusion to the dowager’s rout. It was like ignoring the fact that an elephant was in the room.
Finally Sunny got to her feet. “I’m very tired tonight. If you two will excuse me, I’ll go to bed now.” Her temples throbbed as she climbed to her room, but under her shakiness, she was triumphant. Without the dowager’s poisonous presence, life at Swindon would improve remarkably.
She changed to her nightgown and slipped into bed, wondering if Justin would visit her. Ordinarily he did after returning from a journey, but perhaps he would stay away if he was displeased with the way she had treated his mother.
Though it shamed her to admit it, she had come to look forward to his conjugal visits. One particular night stood out in her mind. She had been drifting in the misty zone between sleep and waking when her husband came. Though aware of his presence, she had been too drowsy to move her languid limbs.
Instead of waking her, he had given a small sigh, then stretched out beside her, his warm body against hers, his quiet breath caressing her temple. After several minutes he began stroking her, his hand gliding gently over her torso.
She had lain utterly still, embarrassed by the yearning sensations that tingled in her breasts and other unmentionable places. Pleasure thickened inside her until she had had to bite her lip to keep from moaning and moving against his hand.
Fortunately, before she disgraced herself he dozed off, his hand cupping her breast. Slowly her tension had dissipated until she also slept.
Her rest was remarkably deep, considering that she had never in her life shared a bed with another person. But when she awoke the next morning, he was gone.
She might have thought she'd dreamed the episode if not for the imprint of her husband’s head on the pillow and a faint, lingering masculine scent. It had occurred to her that people who could not afford to have separate bedrooms might be luckier than they knew.
But she was mortified by the knowledge that she had the nature of a wanton. The next time she saw Katie Westron, she must find the boldness to ask how a woman could control her carnality, for surely Katie would know.
Until then, Sunny would simply have to exercise willpower. She could almost hear her mother saying, “You are a lady. Behave like one.”
Yet still she longed for her husband’s company. She had almost given up hope that he would join her when the connecting door quietly opened and he padded across the deep carpet As he slipped into the bed, she touched his arm to show that she was awake and willing. He slid his hand beneath the covers and drew up the hem of her nightgown.
Perhaps the evening’s drama was affecting her, for she found it particularly difficult to keep silent while he prepared her for intercourse. Those strange feelings that were part pleasure, part pain, fluttered through her as he smoothed lotion over her sensitive female parts.
When he entered her, heat pulsed through those same parts, then expanded to other parts of her body. She caught her breath, unable to entirely suppress her reaction.
Immediately he stopped moving. “Did I hurt you?”
“N-no.” She knotted her hands and pressed her limbs rigidly into the mattress. “No, you didn’t hurt me.”
Gently he began rocking back and forth again. The slowness of his movements caused deeply disquieting sensations. Yet curiously , instead of wanting them to stop, she wanted more. It was hard, so hard, to be still....
His breathing quickened in the way that told her that the end was near. He gave a muffled groan and made a final deep thrust. Then his tension ebbed away.
She felt a corresponding easing in herself, as if her feelings were intertwined with his. She was tempted to slide her arms around him, for she had a most unladylike desire to keep his warm, hard body pressed tightly against her. Perhaps he might fall asleep with her again.
But that was not what men and women of good breeding did. Her parents had not shared a room. After Sunny’s birth, they had probably not even had conjugal relations, for she was the youngest in the family. Once her father had two sons to work in the business and her mother had a daughter for companionship, there had been no need for more babies.
Justin lifted his weight from her. After pulling her gown down again, he lightly touched her hair. She wanted to catch his hand and beg him to stay, but of course she didn’t.
Then he left her.
When the connecting door between their chambers closed, Sunny released her breath in a shuddering sigh, then rolled over and hugged a pillow to her chest She felt restless impatience and a kind of itchy discomfort in her female parts. Her hand slid down her torso. Perhaps if she rubbed herself there...
Horrified, she flopped onto her back and clenched her hands into fists. Her nurse and her mother had made it clear that a woman never touched herself “down there” unless she had to.
She closed her eyes against the sting of tears. She was trying her very best to be a good wife. But from what she could see, a good wife was a lonely woman.
* * *
In a flurry of trunks and contradictory orders, the Dowager Duchess of Thornborough moved herself and a substantial number of Swindon’s finest antiques to the elegant Dower House on the far side of the estate.
Then she promptly decamped to the French Riviera, there to flaunt her rank and make slanderous hints about her son’s inadequacies and her daughter-in-law’s insolence. The one thing Justin was sure she would not say was the truth: that a slip of an American girl had maneuvered the dowager out of Swindon Palace.
Life was much easier with his mother gone. He and Sunny and Alexandra dined en famille, with much less formality and far more enjoyment. His sister was blossoming under Sunny’s kind guidance, and no longer dreaded her social debut.
What wasn’t prospering was his marriage. Ever since his incredibly clumsy remark about sparing future dukes the necessity of marrying for money, there had been strain between him and Sunny. What he had meant was that he wanted financial considerations to be irrelevant.
Unfortunately, she had believed the unintended insult rather than his heartfelt declaration that he would have wanted to marry her anyhow. Because he had accidentally hurt her, she had struck back, hurting him in return when she had u
nderlined the fact that their marriage had nothing to do with love.
Fearing that more explanations would only make matters worse, he hadn’t raised the subject again. Eventually memory of the incident would fade, but in the meantime Sunny had pulled further away from him. She was courteous, compliant—and as distant as if an ocean still divided them.
Sometimes she trembled during their wordless conjugal couplings, and he feared that she was recoiling from his touch. If she had verbally objected, perhaps he could have controlled his desires and stopped inflicting himself on her. But she said nothing, and he did not have the strength to stay away.
As they prepared to go to the ball at Cottenham Manor, he hoped that Sunny’s return to society would cheer her. She deserved laughter and frivolity and admiration.
Yet though he wanted her to be happy, the knowledge that she would be surrounded by adoring, predatory men terrified him. If she was miserable in her marriage, how long would it be before she looked elsewhere?
If you would be troubled, take a wife.
Chapter 8
Cottenham Manor
March 1886
Cottenham Manor, seat of the Earl of Hopstead, was almost as grand and large as Swindon Palace. Lord and Lady Hopstead were famous for their entertainments, and Sunny had spent a long and happy weekend at Cottenham the previous summer. It was a pleasure to return, and as her maid fastened a sapphire and diamond necklace around her neck, she hummed softly to herself.
“Madam is happy tonight,” Antoinette observed as she handed Sunny the matching eardrops.
Sunny put on the eardrops, then turned her head so she could see the play of light in the sapphire pendants. “I’ve been looking forward to this ball for weeks. What a silly custom it is for a bride to rusticate for months after the wedding!”
“But think how much more you will appreciate society after wintering in the depths of the English countryside.”
Weddings of the Century: A Pair of Wedding Novellas Page 14