by Susannah Nix
She’d been too upset to properly appreciate the hug Caleb had given her while it was happening. But she could still remember how it felt to have his arms around her. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel them again. The thick firmness of his muscles. The reassuring warmth of his body. The way he smelled: like coffee and something subtly spicy.
The same way his hoodie smelled. She pulled it up over her nose and inhaled. It was almost like having him with her.
Whenever the doors to the cardiac care unit opened, everyone in the waiting room would go silent for a moment, their heads all swiveling to see whose turn it was to be spoken to. Someone had just come out—a handsome Indian doctor wearing scrubs and tennis shoes. He consulted with the volunteer, and then came over to where Penny was sitting. “Are you here for George Simkin?”
Penny swallowed. “Yes.” The doctor was tall and lanky like a basketball player, and he towered over her.
He held out a hand. “I’m Doctor Ramesh.”
“Penny Popplestone.” He had soft hands, but a firm handshake. “I was at the coffee shop when George collapsed. We’re friends.”
Doctor Ramesh sat down in the chair beside her. “I understand his family lives out of town.”
She nodded. “I called his son. He’s flying down from San Jose, but he won’t be here for a few hours. Is George okay?”
The doctor gave her a reassuring smile. “He’s awake and stable. We’re about to take him into surgery.”
“Oh. Okay.” That felt like good news. At least it wasn’t bad news.
“The procedure should take about three hours, but sometimes it can take longer, so there’s no need to worry if it does. As soon as we’re done, I’ll come out with an update on his condition.” He spoke kindly, but with brisk efficiency, like he’d given this speech a thousand times before. “After surgery, he’ll go to recovery for a couple hours. Once he’s awake, he can have a family member come back and see him. Hopefully his son will be here by then.”
Penny nodded, feeling overwhelmed. Doctor Ramesh gave her an encouraging smile and got to his feet.
She watched him disappear through the double doors before she got out her phone and called George’s son. It went straight to voicemail, which hopefully meant he was on the plane already. She left a message repeating what the doctor had said.
When she was done she typed out a text to Caleb with the same information.
She stared at the screen as she waited for him to reply. And waited. And waited.
She was on the verge of giving up when the phone buzzed in her hand with an incoming call. From Caleb.
She went out into the hall to answer it. “Hi,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.
“Hey.” His voice sounded deeper on the phone. Huskier. “That’s good news.”
“It is, right? I thought so, but—”
“No, if he’s awake it’s definitely good.”
Penny let out a long breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Hearing Caleb’s voice made her feel a lot better.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “Just worried. And I hate hospitals.”
“Me too.” She heard the sound of the milk frother in the background.
“You’re at work still?”
“Yeah. Roxanne came in and sent Elyse home. She was pretty freaked out.”
“Poor Elyse.” Poor all of them.
“I better get back to work,” Caleb said. “You sure you’re okay? Is there anything we can do?”
“No, I’m fine. There’s nothing to do right now but wait.”
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you later.”
Penny went back into the waiting room and settled in for the long wait.
Two hours later, George’s son showed up. He was short and wiry, just like his dad, only with a little more hair. He gave Penny a hug when she introduced herself. “My dad’s told me all about you.”
“Really?”
Mike nodded and rubbed his palms on his business casual khakis. “He talks about everyone at that coffee shop like they’re family.”
Penny swallowed around the lump in her throat. “He’s like family to us too.”
The volunteer brought over a clipboard of forms for Mike to fill out. While he was working on them, Penny offered to get him something to eat, and he accepted her offer gratefully.
She came back ten minutes later with a granola bar and a banana for herself and a hamburger and french fries for Mike.
“Thank you so much,” he said. “For everything. It’s nice to have someone here so I don’t have to wait alone.”
While he ate his hamburger, Penny recounted the episode at the coffee shop that morning, telling him how quick-thinking Caleb had been to recognize what was happening, administer aspirin, and start CPR. She also told him what the paramedic had said about it maybe saving George’s life.
They killed the next hour making hushed small talk in the waiting room while they waited for George to get out of surgery. Mike’s wife was staying in San Jose for another two days with their son, but they were coming down Friday afternoon as soon as she picked him up from school. Hopefully George would be well enough to see his grandson by then.
After a while, they ran out of things to say and fell into an edgy silence. Penny glanced at the clock on the wall for approximately the one thousandth time. Any minute now, the doctor might come out with an update—or it might be another hour or two.
She took out her phone and deliberated texting Caleb again but decided against it. If he was waiting anxiously for an update, it would be mean to keep getting his hopes up by texting him when there wasn’t any news.
She’d just put her phone away again when she saw Caleb standing out in the hall.
He was watching her with his hands in his pockets like he was trying to make up his mind whether to come in. When she smiled at him, he nodded in acknowledgement and started toward her.
“Caleb!” She was so happy to see him she almost jumped up and hugged him again, but something about his body language stopped her. “I didn’t know you were coming!”
“I just got off work and thought I’d wait with you.” His eyes flicked over to Mike, who’d stood up when he approached.
“Mike, this is Caleb,” Penny explained. “From the coffee shop.”
Mike stepped forward and hugged Caleb. “Thank you. Penny told me you saved my dad’s life.”
“I didn’t do that much,” Caleb muttered as Mike clung to him. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
Mike let go of him and reached up to rest a hand on his shoulder. He was at least five inches shorter than Caleb. “I’m so glad you were there. I can’t even imagine what might have happened if Dad had been at home alone.”
“Don’t think about that,” Penny said, shuddering at the thought of George lying on the floor of his house alone, possibly for hours.
Caleb shifted his weight, looking uncomfortable. “Is there any word yet?”
“Still in surgery.” Penny sat down again. After a moment’s hesitation, Caleb took the chair next to hers.
“You know, Dad talks about you all the time,” Mike said, sitting on Penny’s other side and leaning forward to talk to Caleb across her. “I feel like I know you. Both of you.”
“We see George practically every day,” Penny said. She darted a glance at Caleb, who was staring at the floor, and nudged him with her elbow. “Don’t we?”
He looked up and nodded. “Yeah. He comes in every day for his bottomless drip coffee.” He was doing that monotone thing he used to do to her before he’d started being friendly.
She couldn’t tell if he was upset or just shy, but obviously she was going to have to carry the conversational baton alone.
While Mike and Penny chatted, Caleb sank into silence beside her. It felt weird to have him sitting right next to her. She was pretty sure they’d never been this close for an extended period of time before. At the coffee shop he was always standing, usual
ly with a counter between them. Now he was only inches away. Sharing an armrest. Their knees side by side.
His fingers drummed a nervous beat on his thigh. He must be worried about George. Penny wanted to reach over and take his hand in hers, as much for her own comfort as his, but she wasn’t sure he’d like it. Instead, she stood up and asked if anyone wanted any coffee.
Mike requested cream, no sugar, and when she looked at Caleb he mumbled a half-hearted, “Black, thanks.”
She went to the coffee pod machine and made two styrofoam cups of coffee.
“Thanks,” Mike said when she brought his coffee to him.
She held out the other cup to Caleb. “This is a switch, isn’t it? Me bringing you coffee instead of the other way around.” His fingers brushed hers when he took it from her, and their eyes met and held.
“Penny’s been great,” Mike said. “Keeping me company and bringing me food.”
“She’s good people,” Caleb agreed, and Penny felt herself blush.
At five thirty, Dr. Ramesh came through the double doors. He was wearing one of those patterned surgical caps like they wore on Grey’s Anatomy. His had dolphins on it.
Penny introduced him to Mike, and Dr. Ramesh told them that George had come through surgery like a champ. He described in detail the procedure they’d done, and said George had a long recovery ahead of him, but he should be just fine. Mike hugged the doctor and then hugged Penny. He was a hugger.
Dr. Ramesh said the nurse would come get Mike in a little while and take him to see his dad. He shook Mike’s hand, and disappeared into the back again.
“I’m going to call my wife,” Mike said, pulling out his phone.
Penny turned to ask Caleb if they should go and realized he’d already left.
She caught sight of him heading for the stairs at the end of the hall and hurried after him. “Caleb,” she called out as she followed him into the stairwell. “Wait.”
He stopped on the landing below her and turned around.
“Where are you going?” she asked when she drew even with him.
He shifted his feet but didn’t say anything. His chest rose and fell like he was breathing hard.
She edged closer, peering into his face. “Were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?”
He pressed his lips together and looked down at his feet.
“I don’t understand you. How can you be so sweet one minute and so remote the next?”
When he looked at her, his eyes were dark and intense.
Penny froze, every nerve in her body on high alert. “What is it? What’s wrong?” His expression shifted like he was deliberating something. “You can talk to me.”
He let out a deep breath and moved closer, lifting a hesitant hand to her face. She opened her mouth in surprise as his fingertips caressed her cheek. His eyes drilled into hers. Hypnotizing flecks of gold danced in the depths of his irises. His eyelashes lowered as his fingers slid into her hair. He tilted her head back.
“Penelope.”
The sound of her name on his lips sent an electric ripple through her body. She felt faint. Oxygen was a distant memory.
He let out a rough breath and pressed his mouth against hers.
Penny’s brain short-circuited. Hottie Barista was kissing her. Kissing! Her!
Fortunately, she didn’t need her brain for this. As his lips moved over hers, her body reacted instinctively. Her fingers curled into his arms and her mouth opened, angling against his. Lapping him up.
What had started out slow and careful quickly intensified into something much deeper. Hungrier. Teeth grazed her lips and she shuddered a sigh.
Caleb pulled back, his eyes searching her face like he was asking for forgiveness—or permission.
She answered by pulling his mouth to hers again with a hand curled around the back of his neck. His body pressed against hers, warming her from tip to toe. They were both panting and breathless. Gulping for air as their mouths melted together. She was dimly aware that he’d backed her up against the wall. That they were in the stairwell of a hospital that smelled like antiseptic. That someone could walk in on them any second.
She didn’t care. All she cared about was the feeling of his lips on hers. The hardness of his body. The heat building inside her.
Her fingernails scraped over his scalp and he made a huffing sound into her mouth. She kissed him harder, rising up on her toes. His hands clutched her hips, his fingers digging into her flesh.
A door slammed overhead and they jolted apart. They stared at each other, frozen, as footsteps echoed down toward them. There was a creak of a door being pulled open. Another slam. Silence.
Caleb’s face was flushed, his expression grave. Penny reached up to touch his cheek.
His long eyelashes fluttered closed. He caught her hand. Moved it off his face. “I should go.”
He started down the stairs without a backward glance. She wanted to go after him, but her legs were so wobbly she wasn’t convinced she could manage stairs. She was shaking. In shock. Her mouth opened but all that came out was a ragged gasp. She couldn’t even make herself call out after him.
Her chest heaved as she listened to his footsteps pounding away from her. All the way down, three flights of stairs to the ground floor. He must be sprinting. A door finally slammed at the bottom, and Penny was alone in the stairwell.
What just happened?
The cold cinderblock wall behind her started to seep into her bones, jerking her back to reality like a splash of ice water. Shivering inside Caleb’s hoodie, she pushed herself upright and ran a hand through her bedraggled hair, smoothing it back down where his fingers had been only moments ago.
His nearness had intensified his scent on the hoodie. She felt like she was drowning in it.
She wanted to drown in it even more.
Why did he kiss me?
More importantly: How can I get him to do it again?
Chapter Nine
Penny went back to the waiting room in a daze and made both her and Caleb’s goodbyes to Mike. As she rode downstairs in the elevator, her mind replayed the kiss with Caleb on an infinity loop.
That was…wow. Caleb had kissed her.
And it had been hot. Super hot.
Except then he’d just…left? Which sucked.
Was he repulsed? Embarrassed? Ashamed?
Penny felt herself getting a little mad. He was the one who’d kissed her. It wasn’t like she’d been throwing herself at him. In fact, she’d been doing pretty much the exact opposite of that. If he hadn’t wanted to kiss her, why had he?
Had the kiss been that bad? Penny didn’t think so. She was a habitual overachiever, which meant she’d worked hard to perfect her kissing technique and had received a lot of compliments in the past. She felt pretty confident she was a good kisser. Caleb had sure seemed to be enjoying himself in the moment.
Could he have a girlfriend?
It was possible, she realized as a sinking feeling formed in her gut. He’d never mentioned one, but he’d never mentioned a lot of things. It was only recently he’d started opening up about himself at all. Maybe he’d been hiding a girlfriend all this time. Penny felt sick at the thought. And even angrier.
By the time she got home, it was seven o’clock and she’d missed a half day’s work. She should probably try to make up some of the hours now. Those technical specifications weren’t going to read themselves.
Instead, she called Olivia.
“What’s up?” her friend said when she answered.
“So many things.” Penny sank back into the cushions of her couch. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“Chronological or ascending order of importance. Pick one.” Olivia had a direct and ordered approach to everything, which was exactly what Penny needed right now.
“Chronological.” Penny couldn’t even begin to rate the day’s events according to importance, so she started with George’s heart attack and the ensuing hours waiting around th
e hospital for him to get out of surgery.
“Oh, wow, Pen.”
“That’s not even all of it,” Penny said, squeezing her eyes shut.
“What else?”
“Hottie Barista kissed me.”
“Whoa,” Olivia said. “Back the fuck up. When did he do that?”
“At the hospital.” Penny realized she was starving and went into the kitchen. “When Mike went to call his wife, Caleb tried to sneak off and leave.”
“He pulled an Irish goodbye,” Olivia said knowingly.
“Exactly!” Penny grabbed a container of leftover beef stew out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. “So I went after him and followed him into the stairwell.”
“And?”
“And he kissed me,” Penny said, feeling warm again at the memory.
“Just like that? Without saying anything?”
“Practically. It was definitely out of nowhere. One second he was trying to sneak away and the next he was staring at me really intensely and then…he pushed me up against the wall and kissed me.”
It must have been a moment of temporary insanity. That was the only explanation Penny could think of. A stressful day, emotions running high. The two of them alone together in an unfamiliar environment. Maybe he’d forgotten who she was for a second and mistaken her for someone he was attracted to.
“Huh,” Olivia said. “What’d he say after?”
“Nothing! He just ran off.” Her stomach twisted. That part of it had been sort of humiliating.
“He kissed you out of nowhere and then ran away without a word?”
“Pretty much. All he said was, ‘I have to go.’ And then he literally sprinted down the stairs to get away from me. It’s weird, right?”
“Yeah, it’s weird. How was the kiss?”
Penny touched her lips, smiling. “Outstanding.”
“Nice. Congrats, I guess.”
“But what do I do now?”
“What do you want to do?”
Penny thought about Caleb’s fingers sliding into her hair. The gentle scrape of his teeth on her bottom lip and the taste of his tongue. “I want to kiss him again.”
“I thought you swore off dating?”