by Susannah Nix
“I was afraid to. I knew I was leaving.”
“Not for months.” Her fingers tightened in his hair as her chest clenched. “We could have had so much time.”
She felt him hesitate. “I was sort of seeing someone last year.”
“Sort of?”
“We were…let’s say engaged to be engaged.”
Swallowing an irrational flare of jealousy, she lifted his head to look in his eyes. The pain she saw in them made her throat burn. “What happened?”
“She didn’t like where I got into med school. She’d been hoping for somewhere a little more exciting than Jackson, Mississippi.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shrugged like it was all water under the bridge. Que será, será. “In retrospect, I dodged a bullet there.” His mouth dropped to Penny’s shoulder and she let her eyes fall closed as he kissed his way to her cleavage with intense concentration. “I thought about doing this, you know. Every day you came into the shop I thought about it. You have no idea.” His index finger trailed down her chest and settled in the crevice between her breasts. “But then you started flirting with that guy Kenneth.”
“Only because he flirted with me first. It could have been you.” She lifted a hand to Caleb’s face. “I would have preferred you.”
He leaned back and gazed at her with eyes that had turned to dark, inky pools. His pupils were so wide she could barely see the gold in his irises anymore. “And now it’s too late.”
“It’s not,” she said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.
“I’m trying to warn you off me, and you’re not making it easy.”
She clenched her thighs around his. “I like being on you.”
His eyes closed and he let out a low groan. “You know what I mean.”
She bent her head toward him, her lips just barely brushing against his. “You like it too.”
His eyes opened and locked with hers. “I do.” His hand dropped to her hip. Yes, she thought as it slid down the outside of her thigh. More of that. His fingers ceased their journey and tightened on her thigh. “That’s why I should go.”
Just like that, her happy bubble burst. Again. “No, you shouldn’t.”
“I have to.” His hands clenched around her waist and he moved her off him like she weighed nothing.
“Why?”
His eyes avoided hers. “I have somewhere I have to be tonight. I’m sorry. I can’t stay.” It sounded like a lie. He stood up, wincing as he adjusted his pants.
Serves you right, she thought vindictively. She hoped he ran into her elderly downstairs neighbor, Mrs. Jourgensen, on his way out.
“I’m sorry,” he said again as he put on his shoes.
Penny nodded and stared at the floor. The words please don’t go hovered on her tongue, but pride prevented her from saying them aloud.
When he had his shoes on, he came back to the couch and stood in front of her. “Penny.”
“What?” she said without looking up.
“Penelope.” He caught her hand and pulled her into his arms.
She lacked the fortitude to resist him. Her arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed her face into his chest, breathing him in. Change your mind, she thought fiercely. You don’t want to leave. Stay with me. Kiss me. Make love to me.
He held her tightly. Then he kissed the top of her head and gently extracted himself from her grasp. “I’ll see you Monday,” he said, and let himself out of her apartment.
Well, crud. She’d gotten close this time, but still no cigar.
And, man, did she want his cigar. She wanted it bad. She was starting to feel like Charlie Brown. Lying in the grass after Lucy had yanked the football away yet again, wondering why this kept happening.
Something was holding him back. But was it really just his fear of hurting her? Or something else?
She felt like she was wearing him down though. He’d wanted her. That much she was sure of. Maybe if she’d been a little more aggressive. Maybe if she’d come right out and asked him to stay…
Next time.
Next time she’d have more courage.
She just had to make sure there was a next time.
Chapter Twelve
“How do you seduce a man?” Penny asked when she went for coffee with some of the women from her yoga class the next morning.
Melody shrugged. “I honestly haven’t the faintest idea.”
Tessa reached for her coffee, shaking her head. “Definitely not my area.”
They both turned to look at Tessa’s girlfriend Lacey, who had the body of a female wrestler and a face that could be on the cover of Vogue.
“Why is everyone staring at me?” Lacey asked. “Just because I’m bi you assume I’m some kind of loose woman? That’s a vicious stereotype.”
Tessa’s eyebrows lifted in amusement. “A ‘loose woman’? Did we time travel back to the Jazz Age?”
“Come on,” Melody said, poking Lacey in the arm. “I know you’ve dated more men than me.”
Lacey shook her head. “I’ve slept with more men than you. Sex isn’t the same thing as dating.”
“But that’s exactly what I want,” Penny said. “I don’t want to date him. I just want to sleep with him.”
“Wow,” Lacey said, looking surprised.
“What?” Penny could be a loose woman if she wanted to. There was nothing wrong with being a loose woman. It was called being in charge of your own sexual desire.
“I thought you were off men,” Melody said.
Penny shrugged and sipped her latte. “I’m off relationships. Meaningless sex is still on the table.”
“Who are you trying to have meaningless sex with?” Tessa asked, resting her chin in her hands.
“It doesn’t matter,” Penny said. “It’s just this guy.”
“I’m going to need more details if you want my advice,” Lacey said, letting her long, black hair out of its ponytail. “Spill.”
Penny stared at her coffee. “He kissed me the other day, so I know he’s attracted to me, but I’m having trouble getting him off first base.”
“Maybe he’s trying to be a gentleman,” Melody said.
“But that’s the whole problem. I don’t want him to be a gentleman, I want him to bang me like a screen door.”
Tessa’s eyes widened. “Penny!”
“What? What’s wrong with that?”
Lacey grinned. “Nothing’s wrong with that. High five, girl.” Penny reached across the table to slap her palm.
Melody frowned. “But maybe he’s taking it slow because he wants more than just meaningless sex.”
“Not an option,” Penny said. “He’s moving away in a few weeks.”
Lacey nodded. “You want a goodbye bang. One for the road.”
“Yes!” Penny leaned forward excitedly. “That’s exactly what I want! How do I get him to do that?”
Everyone looked at Lacey again. “Seriously?” she said.
Tessa smirked at her. “Everyone at this table who’s successfully seduced a man into your bed, raise your hand.”
Lacey lifted her chin in Melody’s direction. “You. Raise your hand.”
“Nope.” Melody shook her head. “My seduction technique amounts to following a man around like a lovesick idiot for months hoping he’ll notice me eventually. I don’t recommend it.”
Penny looked hopefully at Lacey. “Come on. You’ve got to have some wisdom you can give me.”
Lacey rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. Here it is: men are dogs. They don’t need to be seduced.”
“How does that help me?” Penny asked, confused.
Lacey knocked back the last of her coffee and pushed the cup away. “You’re overthinking this. Men’s brains are in their dicks. If you try to be coy or subtle about it, they won’t catch on. You want this guy to sleep with you, just be direct. Come right out and ask him to.”
“You mean like one of those survey memes? ‘Do you want to sleep with me? Yes or no.
’”
“Exactly like that. Men are always looking to get off. If he’s even the least bit interested in you, he’ll say yes. He won’t be able to help himself.”
Penny felt like Caleb had been pretty good at helping himself so far, but maybe Lacey had a point. Maybe she’d been holding back too much. Waiting for him to take it to the next level instead of grabbing the reins herself.
Maybe instead of trying to flirt with him, she should just proposition him. Point blank.
After coffee, Penny went home and took a shower. As she stood under the hot spray, she contemplated the best way to implement Lacey’s advice. Waiting until Monday was out of the question. Not only would she likely combust with unrequited desire long before then, it was too difficult to talk to him when he was at work. Too many distractions and avenues of escape presented themselves at the coffee shop. It needed to happen someplace private where they could speak alone. Preferably somewhere they could immediately act on their urges, should he accept her offer.
What Penny really needed was a do-over of yesterday’s encounter. She needed to get him back in her apartment, where she just happened to have plenty of privacy, a bed, and a generous supply of condoms.
That was a booty call, right? When you issued an invitation for the express purpose of having no-strings sex. That was what she wanted.
Penny tried to imagine herself calling Caleb on the phone and saying the words aloud. Her stomach quaked in fear at the mere thought. She knew herself well enough to know she’d never be able to blurt it out. Once she had him on the line she’d almost certainly chicken out.
But she could send a text. That way, there’d be no getting tongue-tied or weaseling out. She could take her time composing it, considering her words carefully, and send them into the ether without having to hear his voice or look him in the eye. Perfect.
But what to say? Penny had never composed a booty call text before—she’d never even had a booty call.
As soon as she finished drying her hair, she did what she always did in a situation like this: she got on the internet and did a search for “best booty call texts.”
The results were…eye-opening. And not entirely helpful. No way in heck was she typing anything as openly filthy as a lot of what was in the listicles she found online.
But it helped her familiarize herself with the etiquette, at least. The general pattern seemed to consist of an innocuous opening salvo inquiring as to your intended partner’s present availability. If that was answered in a promising manner, an invitation followed. Whether that invitation included sexually explicit specifics or a transparent offer to participate in a sex-adjacent activity like pizza and Netflix seemed to be a matter of personal preference. Either way, the goal of meeting up at a time and place conducive to sexual activity was achieved.
Penny considered her opening salvo. She and Caleb hadn’t done any casual chatting via text, which meant they didn’t have an established rapport in the medium. She was charting new territory.
First things first: establish his current availability.
Are you working today? she typed and hit send.
That seemed innocuous enough. If the answer was no, she could implement phase two.
The three little dots appeared that meant he was typing a reply, and Penny’s heart leapt into her throat as she waited for them to materialize into an answer.
No. I’m off until Monday.
Whew. That was the first hurdle cleared.
Now came the hard part: the actual proposition.
She held Lacey’s advice firmly in her mind. Be direct. If she equivocated by inviting him over for pizza and Netflix, he might come up with an excuse to decline. But if she came right out and invited him over for sex, he wouldn’t be able to say no. Theoretically. According to Lacey’s hypothesis, if he wanted to sleep with her even a little bit, he wouldn’t be able to help himself in the face of such a bold invitation.
Penny trusted Lacey. She was beautiful and confident and refreshingly frank. And from what Penny had gathered, before Lacey had settled down with Tessa, she’d had a busy and fulfilling social life. Which was exactly what Penny wanted. Especially the fulfilling part.
She took a deep breath and typed her next text.
Do you want to have sex? Yes or no?
She hit send before she could change her mind.
Her heart settled in her throat as she watched the message status change from “delivered” to “read.” What if he said no?
If he did, then at least she’d tried. She wouldn’t have to live with any regrets.
Just crushing humiliation.
But that was fine. She would only have to face him for a limited time. In a month, he’d be gone, and she could forget this ever happened.
The three magical little dots appeared again. Penny waited. And waited.
The dots disappeared.
Her heart sank into the pit of her stomach. What was she thinking? She should have known better than to get her hopes up.
The dots reappeared again. Penny was getting seasick from all the emotional highs and lows.
She watched the dots flicker on her screen, trying not to let herself be too hopeful. He was probably thinking of a nice way to say no. That was why it was taking so long. He was composing some long excuse to let her down easy.
A single word appeared on the screen.
Yes.
Penny nearly dropped the phone in shock. It had worked. She couldn’t believe it.
Her fingers trembled with excitement as she typed her next text.
How fast can you get to my apartment?
His reply was almost immediate.
Give me half an hour.
Chapter Thirteen
She might not have known much about booty calls, but Penny knew enough not to dress up for one. Instead, she put on her most flattering pair of lounge pants—the soft heather gray ones that hugged her butt cheeks just so—and a thin white T-shirt with a deep V-neck that showed off her cleavage and a hint of the hot pink bra she was wearing underneath. She applied some makeup, but not too much. Just enough to bring out the green in her eyes and lend her a little more confidence.
She couldn’t believe she was really doing this! Never in her life had she slept with someone she wasn’t in a committed relationship with. She’d always adhered to the three date rule—at a minimum—because that was what “nice” girls were supposed to do.
Being not nice was a lot more fun.
While she waited for Caleb to arrive, Penny bustled around tidying her already immaculate apartment, because she needed to be doing something or else she’d explode. Cleaning helped keep the nervous panic at a manageable level.
She washed and put away the water glass she’d been drinking out of. Straightened everything on the coffee table so it was at perfect right angles. Fluffed the pillows on the couch and on her bed. Brushed her teeth and wiped down the bathroom sink and counter. Finally, after she’d run out of other things to do, she resorted to pacing aimlessly from room to room.
Exactly twenty-four minutes after Caleb’s last text, he knocked on Penny’s door.
She adjusted her bra and cast one last look around her apartment to make sure everything was perfect. Then she checked her makeup one last time in the mirror beside the door before she pulled it open.
Her heart lurched in her chest at the sight of him standing there in all his beautiful glory. She hadn’t seen him all day, and the sheer force of his attractiveness hit her anew. But it was more than just his physical appearance that affected her. It was his presence—some ineffable quality that seemed to change the atmosphere around him. She didn’t understand it. They barely knew each other. And yet, something intangible clicked into place at the sight of him. A feeling of relief. Of completion.
His hair was ruffled and damp, and he smelled strongly of the spicy soap he used. He must have jumped into the shower before coming over.
Penny froze, suddenly unable to recall whether she’d remember
ed to apply deodorant after her shower. The urge to lift her arm and do a sniff check seized her, and she clenched her hands into fists to keep them pinned at her sides.
Caleb shuffled his feet on her doorstep, his eyes darting uncertainly to the apartment behind her, and she pulled herself together enough to offer him a smile. “You’re here.”
The tension in his shoulders relaxed a microfraction. “I’m here.”
“Come in.” She stepped back to admit him, but as he moved past her into the apartment, she leaned toward him to steal a shameless sniff. She couldn’t help it. He smelled so good. She had to find out what that soap was so she could bathe herself in it every day.
Despite his recent shower, the subtle scent of coffee still clung to him. It must have settled into the hoodie he was wearing. This one was a dark charcoal gray, and it hugged his shoulders and biceps in a way that should be illegal in public. Penny couldn’t wait to peel it off him.
While he took his shoes off, she shut the door and twisted the deadbolt, which slid home with an ominous thunk. They were locked in now. No escape. Like Finn and Poe in the meat freezer, minus the imminent threat of hypothermia.
Penny wasn’t sure what to do next. Her internet search had failed to cover this part, and she was unfamiliar with the standard etiquette. Should they spend a few minutes making small talk, or get right down to business?
She elected to fall back on good manners, which had always served her well. “Do you want a beer or something?” she asked Caleb, who was now standing uneasily in the middle of her living room. Maybe this would be less awkward with a little social lubricant to smooth the gears.
He shook his head. “No thanks.”
So much for social lubricant. Now what? Straight to the personal lubricant stashed in her bedside table? Her mind shrank away from the possibility of an escalation that abrupt.
“Are you as nervous as I am?” she asked, hoping honesty would help break the ice.
His brow creased. “Maybe we shouldn’t—”
“I swear to God,” she interrupted before he could get any further, “if you try to leave again I will murder you.”