Never a Perfect Moment

by Cathy Cole

  Eve’s eyes were narrowing to slits.

  “Who wants food?” Polly said brightly, keen to avert a fight.

  Lila groaned and clutched her stomach. “I’ve eaten a horse today already.”

  “It was probably a cow,” said Josh. “Although I wouldn’t ask that burger van too many questions.”

  “It really was a great night,” Lila sighed.

  Josh raised himself on his elbows. “Earlier it was the worst night ever, and now it’s the best? That’s impossible. Have you ever considered a career in politics, Lila?”

  Lila made herself more comfortable. “If I were prime minister, I’d ban school and make festivals compulsory,” she said dreamily.

  “What useful citizens that would produce,” Polly pointed out.

  “No lessons at all?” said Max.

  “Maybe I’d teach fun,” Lila said. “Half the world doesn’t know how to have it.”

  “That’s a lesson I’d pay good money to attend,” said Ollie.

  “Pose for me, Lila?” Josh suggested, pulling out his sketchbook.

  Lila arranged herself on the rug, fluffing her hair out. “How’s this?”

  “Gorgeous,” said Josh. Polly could see that he was blushing.

  It was great that Josh and Lila were getting along so well today. After the awkward scene at the wedding, Polly had feared all hope of romance between them had been ruined. Now she wasn’t so sure. Josh was just what Lila needed. Calm, steady, kind.

  Someone somewhere was playing the guitar. The notes floated in the still afternoon air. Polly closed her eyes, imagining a world where Lila and Josh got together. Where she and Ollie finally kissed each other.

  “Stop pawing me, Max,” Rhi snapped suddenly.

  Polly opened one eye to see Max lifting his hands in the air. “I thought boyfriends and girlfriends held hands,” he said. “My mistake.”

  “That wasn’t my hand,” said Rhi coolly.

  “Whatever. You need to chill out, Rhi.”

  “And you need to keep your hands where I can see them!”

  Max got up and dusted down his jeans. “I can tell when I’m not wanted,” he said a little sourly. “I’m going to get a burger. Anyone joining me?”

  Ollie shook his head. Josh was too busy sketching Lila even to reply. Max shrugged and jogged away down the field.

  “Max is really getting on my nerves today,” Rhi burst out. “He doesn’t know when to stop, you know? I wish I hadn’t called him last night.”

  Polly sat up. “If you hadn’t called him, Ollie and Josh wouldn’t have come either.”

  “Good to know we’re appreciated,” Josh murmured, not looking up from his sketchbook as he drew the outline of Lila’s eyes.

  “Max is an idiot,” said Eve as she admired her hennaed hands. It was the first thing she’d said since Max’s misguided crack about her sense of humour. “You’re too good for him, Rhi.”

  Polly felt a fresh prickle of hope. Lila and Josh getting together and Rhi and Max splitting up? she thought. That would be a dream outcome to this weekend. She wondered briefly if it was bad to wish heartbreak on people. Then she decided Max’s heart was probably made of rubber, and unlikely to break at all.

  “Everyone could see how much you loved your little motorbike tour,” Lila murmured from her position on the rug.

  Rhi laughed. “I would have preferred to do the henna thing with Eve. But when Max gets an idea into his head, it’s difficult to shift.”

  Polly glanced a little awkwardly at Ollie.

  We shouldn’t be talking about his best friend like this, she thought. Not in front of him.

  “I’m not listening,” said Ollie, catching Polly’s worried glance. “Girl talk brings me out in a rash. Hey, Max! Wait up!”

  “Ollie has a very nice shape,” Lila remarked, tilting her head to watch Ollie as he jogged easily down the field after Max.

  Polly felt a stab of jealousy deep in her belly. She didn’t think she could bear it if Lila got interested in Ollie again.

  “I told you not to move your head, Lila,” Josh said a little sharply.

  Rhi pushed her cloudy hair off her face and sighed. “I’m starting to think you guys are right,” she said. “Max isn’t the guy for me after all. It’s just … we’ve been together for such a long time, and—”

  “And he cheated on you,” Eve added. “With me.”

  “I don’t need reminding, thanks,” said Rhi a little drily. “Let’s just say that at times like this, the single life looks … very appealing.”

  It was funny how things could change, Polly thought. One minute Rhi and Max were loved up and she was as far away from dating Ollie as it was possible to be. The next, Rhi was thinking about dumping Max, and Ollie wanted to be with her.

  “Come on,” said Rhi, getting to her feet as Josh put the finishing touches to his sketch and told Lila she could move. “Let’s go see what’s going on down by the main stage.”

  “Ollie and Max might not be able to find us again,” said Polly, feeling a little worried. She had to talk to Ollie, to tell him she was ready to try again.

  “And that’s a bad thing?” Eve enquired. “Good idea, Rhi. I need some music.”

  The crowds were drifting down the field towards the main stage, as if drawn there by a magnet. There was an energy in the air that Polly wanted to embrace, but she found herself feeling a little freaked out instead. She wished Ollie hadn’t disappeared with Max.

  A fat raindrop suddenly hit the end of her nose, making her jump. The sky had clouded over, she realized, and ominous grey clouds were rolling in from the west.

  “Oops,” said Lila, gazing upwards as they flowed on down the hill in the middle of the crowd. “Maybe we should have stayed in our tents after all.”

  Polly couldn’t tear her eyes from the sky. It was almost impossible to believe the speed at which it was rushing from blue to black. A couple of people whooped, lifting their arms to the sky as the rain fell more heavily.

  “Boy,” said Josh, sheltering his head with his arms. “This stuff is cold.”

  There was a crack of thunder. Someone behind Polly screamed. The rain was really falling hard now, banging into the ground in long silvery nails, and Polly’s feet were starting to slip on the rapidly dampening grass.

  I have to get out of here, she thought anxiously. She had the most horrible sensation that the sky was about to fall on her head.

  She tried to turn round, but there were too many people. As the sound of the drumming rain grew louder, so did the shouts of the crowd. Polly was being bumped around like a pinball. She could feel a wave of hysteria lapping at her, threatening to overwhelm her. She couldn’t see the others.

  “Help!” she screamed, whirling around. “Help! I can’t … I… ”

  Her feet were sliding from beneath her, like an ice skater on a bad day. She hit the ground with a squelch and a sob of panic. Curling her hands over her head, Polly pulled herself into a tiny ball. Feet thundered past her, uncaring, missing her by millimetres. She would die here… She would be crushed into the wet earth and drown in the mud…

  In the depths of her terror, Polly felt a hand grabbing her and pulling her to her feet.

  “Up you get,” said Ollie. “Are you OK? You went down like a bowling pin.”

  Dimly Polly knew there was mud all over her clothes, and on her face, and her hair hung round her face in wet black rats’ tails. In normal circumstances, she would have run away to avoid Ollie seeing her like this. But right now, he was the sweetest thing she’d ever seen.

  “Ollie,” Polly sobbed, and clung to him like he was a life raft.

  His arms came round her, protecting her from the press of the muddy, jostling, shouting, screaming, muddy crowd.

  “Don’t look at me,” Polly wept, huddling in closer to him. “I look
like a freak.”

  She felt Ollie’s fingers beneath her chin, bringing her gaze up to his.

  “You’ve never looked so beautiful,” he said.

  It was as if someone had suddenly pressed a mute button. The noise of the crowd faded to nothing. Polly noticed no one pushing, or shoving, or screaming. All she could see were Ollie’s blue eyes.

  “Oh!”

  Someone had rammed right into her, sending her spinning sideways, back down into the mud. Only it wasn’t mud this time. It was rubbish. Sweet-smelling takeaway boxes, sticky drink cartons, nameless sludge mushed into the ground.

  Panic took full hold, squeezing Polly tightly around the throat. She screamed and screamed until her throat was raw.

  “Urgh!”

  It was in her hair. Vile, stinky goo was dripping down her neck, down the collar of her shirt.

  “Polly, it’s OK, calm down… ”

  Polly couldn’t focus; the feel of the rubbish all over her body made her squirm. Ollie was reaching for her again, but Polly felt hideous. “No!” she shrieked. “Don’t touch me!”

  She had to do something about the grime. She needed to find a shower. “Please,” she said desperately, “I need to go.”

  And she blundered away, half-blind with horror and shame.

  TWENTY-ONE

  In the midst of her panic, something made Polly look back over her shoulder.

  Ollie stood like a statue amid the running, shouting mayhem. His bright blue eyes had dimmed. He wasn’t smiling. His shoulders were slumped and tired, and his whole body radiated with hurt. The rain hammered down unrelentingly, soaking his blond hair flat to his head. He was immobilized, as if his feet were glued to the ground. All around him, the crowd thundered on.

  All of this, Polly glimpsed in an instant. She faltered. She couldn’t do this to him, not again. She yelled his name. “Ollie!”

  Ollie seemed to wake up at her shout. A fresh surge of something flickered in his gaze. He started to run after her.

  “Polly!” he bawled. “Come back!”

  “Polly!”

  Polly tried to turn around but the crowd was stampeding now. She found herself caught up in the middle, running hard in the thick of it all. She wanted to turn back and find Ollie, to apologize for hurting him so badly, but she had no choice but to keep running or risk another fall. She wished the ground would open its great earthy mouth and gulp her down whole. She had run away from him again. She had well and truly freaked out back there. She must have looked like a madwoman.

  The rain was easing up now, and glimpses of blue sky were creeping into view. A shaft of brilliant sunlight pierced the murk, lighting up the lake and turning it a sheet of beaten silver. Polly realized with a stab of shock that the stampede was heading to the water’s edge, an unstoppable force with only one thing in mind.

  There was a yell as the first wave of the crowd hit the lake. Spray fountained into the air. People were jumping in everywhere Polly looked, climbing on each other’s shoulders, somersaulting like circus tumblers, bombing into the water with their knees up to their chins. Polly thought that she glimpsed Josh and Lila, Eve, Rhi and Max leaping in with their arms aloft. In the next moment her view was obliterated as she reached the lake’s grassy edge.

  Polly welcomed the freezing blast against her skin as she hit the water feet-first. Ducking down, she swam fast, away from the frenzy to open water. Glorious, clean, cold water. She ducked and rolled and rubbed and ducked again, pulling her hands down the back of her hair. Revelling in the sensation of being clean at last.

  She trod water, gasping, her heartbeat slowing to something approaching normal, watching the crowds around her hurling themselves into the water like wild-eyed, muddy lemmings. Her clothes wafted around her in the lake like seaweed.

  All around her, people were laughing and hugging in the water. One girl, her face heavily streaked with running make-up, was kissing a boy whose drenched and battered hat sat comically over his eyes. Polly had seen the couple before, dancing to Polarize on Friday night. She’d thought then what a strange pair they were: the glamorous girl with posh accessories and the hippy boy with mismatched socks. Never in a million years would Polly have put them together. Now, wet and gasping with laughter, she could barely tell them apart. They were who they were.

  Reaching up, Polly clutched at the silver locket dangling around her neck beneath her blouse. It felt solid and real beneath her fingers.

  “POLLY!”

  A few metres down the bank, Ollie was still running, waving at her.

  “Here!” Polly shouted, releasing the locket and lifting her arms. “I’m over here!”

  Ollie spotted her. He hurled himself into the lake, knees clutched tightly against his chest in a great spray of water. Polly struck towards him, splashing and gasping and intent on only one thing.

  “Ollie! I’m here! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

  Ollie rose out of the water, wet and sleek like a spluttering otter. “Polly, you total nutcase. What did you run away like that for?”

  “I’m sorry,” Polly repeated. “For everything. I’m sorry for running away. And for not trusting you. And for cancelling our date. And for not responding to your texts.” Polly thought of the litany of mistakes she had made. Everything came down to overthinking. For once in her life she just needed to act.

  She found that they had reached a shallow part of the lake and she could just touch the bottom with her toes. For a moment she stood and looked at Ollie’s questioning face. Then she reached for him, touched the rough wetness of his shirt. Pulled him towards her and kissed him hard on the mouth.

  Ollie’s arms were around her in a flash, pulling her tightly against him. His lips were soft, but he kissed her hungrily, like he never wanted to stop. Polly couldn’t breathe for the fireworks exploding in her belly. At last, she was kissing the boy she had liked for so long. It had been worth every moment of the wait.

  “Never run away from me again,” Ollie whispered against her lips, his hands stroking her wet hair. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I made jokes about the artwork. I’m sorry I got pissed off when you were just trying to help your friends. I’m sorry for being such a fool. I love you, Polly Nelson. I always have and I always will. You mean everything to me. And I will never, ever let you go.”

  His lips were on hers again, deeper and more searching than ever. Polly softened against him, holding on to every part of him that she could reach, running her fingers through his wet hair and cupping the back of his neck, pulling him harder towards her and kissing, kissing, kissing. Nothing mattered but this. Now.

  Just this.

  TWENTY-TWO

  Polly had no sense of time passing. It was just her and Ollie, in each other’s arms. The lake was quieter now, illuminated by bright sunlight as sudden as the storm that had preceded it, as people scrambled ashore, heading off to find somewhere warm to dry off.

  “It is just me,” said Ollie as the water sloshed around their chests, “or are your feet wet too?”

  Giggling, Polly slid her hands away from his shoulders. “We should find the others,” she said. “They’re probably wondering where we are.”

  “It’s none of their business,” said Ollie promptly. “This is one party they aren’t invited to.”

  He pulled her back for a final kiss. Once again Polly lost herself at the feeling of his mouth moving against hers – until her teeth started chattering against his lips.

  “Ollie, I’m freezing,” she confessed, pulling back reluctantly. “Can we get out of here?”

  Ollie looked horrified at the way Polly’s teeth were clattering against each other. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. We have to get you out of here and warm you up.”

  “My heart’s warm enough,” said Polly, gazing shyly at him. “It’s just the rest of me that needs a little work.”

  Ollie l
aughed. Hoisting her into his arms, he waded through the water towards the shore. Polly rested her head on his chest, her arms round his neck, quietly content to be there.

  “Solid ground, your majesty,” said Ollie, putting her down on a stretch of grass in a patch of bright sunlight. It felt wonderful on Polly’s chilled limbs. “Now all we need is a towel or a blanket or something. Stay here.”

  He turned and sprinted away up the field. Polly watched him go, feeling as if she was in a daze. A parallel universe. Ollie and her. Her and Ollie. Together at last.

  He was back in minutes, panting and pressing his hand to his side. “One for you and one for me,” he said, wrapping Polly up in one blanket and draping himself in another.

  They sat together by the lake, their heads resting together, warming up and drying off. Polly was almost drifting away to sleep when she saw Rhi running towards them, waving. Her hair had mostly dried after the jump in the lake, and it looked like she had been able to change into clean clothes, but for some reason she looked frantic.

  “Have you seen Max?”

  “Nope,” said Ollie, draping his arm more comfortably around Polly’s shoulders.

  “I’ve lost him,” Rhi wailed. “I have to talk to him and I’ve lost him.”

  She shaded her eyes, scouting the field. But it was impossible to pick anyone out in the surging crowds.

  “We haven’t seen anyone since everyone jumped in the lake,” said Polly.

  The anxiety fell away from Rhi’s face as she grinned. “Good, wasn’t it? Eve’s annoyed because it ruined her silk top.”

  “What do you need to find Max for anyway?” Polly asked.

  A loudspeaker hanging in the tree over their heads suddenly squealed into life, making Polly jump so much she landed in Ollie’s lap. Ollie captured her and held her there. Polly could see understanding dawning in Rhi’s face.

  “You finally got it together? That’s so cute!”

  The loudspeaker crackled. “The results of the Funky Fox talent contest are in!”

  Polly had all but forgotten the contest Eve had made Rhi take part in. There was a dim cheer from the crowds.