All my thoughts and sensations were put on hold the second a horrific scream burst past her lips. I released immediately. One bite was all that needed to happen. Nothing more, nothing less. Whimpers continued to push past her lips as she folded into the fetal position. Her eyes were closed and her body trembled. She clamped her hand over the area where I had bitten her. I could hear her heart thumping wildly against her chest. She was waiting for me to attack her again. I could sense it.
What had I done? How could I have put her through this? I was selfish.
I lowered myself until I was resting beside her. She would never forgive me for this. Never. I wouldn’t blame her for it either. Her forgiveness wasn’t something I would ever deserve. Her eyes locked with mine then. For a moment I wondered if she was able to put two and two together yet. Recognition seemed to spark within her eyes, but I couldn’t be sure. I moved until I was inches from her face, wanting her to know who I was. She didn’t seem to fear me any longer. Instead she almost appeared to be hypnotized by me in this form.
The need to nuzzle my snout against her and offer what little comfort and sense of remorse for what I’d done to her burned through me. I inched closer to her going to do just that, but she opened her mouth and released the most bloodcurdling scream I’d ever heard; it was all because of me.
I knew what she was feeling—the scorching pain burning its way through her until it consumed her whole. Guilt ate away at me. The pain she was in was my fault. A whimper escaped my beastly mouth. I wanted nothing more than to take her place, to be the one to hold the burden of her pain. As I watched her wither from the wildfire of poison I’d brought to life within her blood, I wished I had never gone through with it. Tessa was Marked for Change, but that didn’t mean I had to be the one to ignite it. I shouldn’t have. I should have let her be. But I’d fallen in love with her.
Disgusted rolled through me, because that was no reason to do what I’d done.
Her eyes focused on mine again and time seemed to stand still. In that lingering moment of pause, I knew she understood who I was. Maybe she wasn’t fully aware of what my actions had meant for her, but she knew who I was. I could see the recognition pooling in her eyes just before she blacked out from the pain.
The front door to the house opened and her friend Rachel walked out with a guy attached to her. I poised myself to run, knowing I needed to get away from here, but the thought of leaving Tessa tore at my heart shredding it to tiny fragments. I couldn’t leave her, but I couldn’t stay. I did the only thing I could do. I bolted back into the woods. When I was far enough to where they couldn’t see me, but still able to see Tessa clearly I stopped.
“She was only out here for a few minutes…what the hell was that? A wolf?” Rachel was frantic. Her pulsed raced faster than Tessa’s and her voice trembled as she spoke.
“I’m not sure.” The guy with her said. He stood and scanned the woods, searching for me. I took a few steps back just to be safe.
The two of them carefully hoisted Tessa into their arms and carried her inside the house. The moment she left my view, I let out a howl at the moon unlike any other. It carried my pain and guilt at what I had done to the Goddess of the Moon. I wanted her to hear me. I wanted her to feel my torment. I wanted her to know how much I hated what I had to do in order to keep the one I’d fallen for at my side.
Tessa never deserved this. I should have given her a choice. I knew that, but I also knew that given the choice, she wouldn’t have chosen me. She wouldn’t have chosen this.
Why would she? Why would she chose to be a monster with me?
Monster.
I’d made her a monster like me.
What the hell had I done?
Special Bonus Two:
Tessa Changes for the First Time (Jace’s Point-Of-View) From Changed
She was nervous. I could tell, even without having seen her hesitant smile. Who could blame her though? The memory of my first time changing flickered through my head, and I vowed this would be a good experience for her. I wouldn’t allow it to be anything else. I returned her smile and decided to go ahead and strip. This was the part where I truly wasn’t sure of her reaction. Still, it had to be done. Nudity was something she was going to have to become used to.
I lifted my shirt above my head and slipped it off. The feel of her eyes grazing across my bare chest warmed my blood. I loved when her eyes were on me in such a hungry, desire-filled way. It let me know I wasn’t the only one feeling such things, that it was a two way street with her. It was validation that she still cared for me, even after what I’d done.
After folding my shirt, I laid it down on a pile of leaves before moving on to remove my jeans. No sooner had I unclasped the button and began to work on the zipper had she let out an audible gasp. It was cute.
“Whoa! What are you doing?” There were so many emotions swirling through her words. It was easy to decipher through them all, unlike other times. Embarrassment, confusion, pleasure. The only thing difficult to distinguish was which she felt most.
My mouth twisted into a smirk I was unable to hold at bay. I lifted a brow and pinned her with my stare as amusement continued to ripple through me from her reaction.
“Preparing for the change,” I said as though she should know.
Her cheeks flushed as her eyes dropped to the ground. “Oh, right.”
I hated how uncomfortable she seemed, but damn it she looked adorable. Amusement continued to spread through me as I watched her eyes travel around the leaf-covered ground, soaking it in as though it were the most fascinating thing.
“You should too. You don’t want to rip those clothes. It can get a little expensive if you don’t take the time to undress first. Not to mention, early in the morning when you head back home, it’s not quite as strange for your neighbors to see you emerging from the woods fully clothed instead of naked.” I said, unable to dim down my smirk. Suddenly, I felt as though I were a horny fourteen year old, because all I could think about was her undressing.
“So you want me to undress…here…in front of you?” Her cheeks heated to that beautiful shade of pink they had earlier and her eyes skimmed my body, never lifting higher than my abs.
“You’re making me nervous staring at me like that.” She wasn’t. Not really. All she was doing was causing my heart to pound with more force as anticipation for what was to come—and happiness that she felt it all too, even after thinking about what she’d been through because of me—blistered my insides.
She glanced away and shifted on her feet. It was then I realized I was being an ass. I should be a gentleman and offer to turn around. It would be the right thing to do.
“Would it make you feel more comfortable if I turned around?” I asked.
She picked at her fingernail polish, hesitating in answering me. I licked my lips and had just decided I would turn when she spoke.
“No. I’m going to have to get used to this part anyway, right?” She said as she started to slip free of her pink shirt.
Surprise pierced through me. I had expected her to make me look away, to turn my back to her, but she hadn’t. Instead, she was undressing in front of me.
“Yeah.” My tone reflected the awe and shock I felt.
I trailed my eyes across her flat stomach, noticing a tiny freckle positioned right above her left hip bone. My gaze drifted up to take in the rest of her newly exposed to me, but her hands captured my attention as she used them to slip out of her gray sweatpants. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Not even after she folded her pants and placed them on top of my shirt.
“Now you’re staring.” She said as I allowed my eyes to slowly drift along her beautiful body.
“Sorry, I can’t help myself.” Heat scorched my cheeks. I cleared my throat and shifted my eyes away from her to glance around the woods.
“It’s fine.” She said. In my peripheral vision I noticed her fold her arms across her chest.
I released the rest of the zipper on my jeans and allowed them to fa
ll to my ankles. Now we were on the same playing field—she was in nothing besides her underwear and so was I.
“If you leave those on, you’ll have to throw them in the trash later.” I pointed to her bra and panties, trying to regain my focus. Without hesitation, I slipped my thumbs into the elastic waistband of my boxers and tugged them down. I tossed them onto the pile of our clothes.
“Right,” She said. I watched as her face went from cute pink to tomato red as she reached behind her to unhook her bra. She tossed it onto the pile of our clothes and quickly moved to slip out of her panties next. Her eyes never lifted to find mine. I was glad because she wouldn’t find them gazing into hers, she would find them skimming over her incredible body, memorizing each curve and freckle until there was no possible way I could ever forget them.
Time seemed to tick on as the two of us appeared to be frozen in a moment I knew was making her more uncomfortable by the second. Her unease lingered in the night air.
“Okay, now I’m going to walk you through this,” I opted for a professional tone. It was better for both of us if I thought from this moment on with that type of mindset. “Do you feel the warmth I told you about before, yet?”
I kept my eyes trained on her face as I waited for her to evaluate herself. I did the same. It was there, the telltale warmth that always seemed to creep through my veins before I changed. The curse was baking me from the inside out, warming me to the perfect temperature for my bones and limbs to bend at angles they shouldn’t.
“Yes, I can feel the warmth.” Tessa’s voice shook through the night, bringing my mind back to what was happening now, to what I should focus on—her.
“Good.” I hadn’t expected to feel excitement course through me at the assurance that she could feel what I was, but it was there. I was excited to share this moment with her. “Feel the warmth seep through your skin and mingle within your veins. Enjoy it because in a moment it’s going to turn into that burning sensation I talked about.” The second the words left my mouth I wished I could take them back. Why had I chosen to remind her of what was to come next before I’d given her a chance to enjoy where she was at now?
Unease rolled off her again and I knew I’d screwed up. Now she was scared. She couldn’t be scared, because if she was then she would fight it. Fighting it only made it hurt. And I wouldn’t be able to handle seeing her hurt again.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s just a bit uncomfortable.” I said in the hope of easing her fears a little.
She flashed me a small smile I knew was all for show. It changed suddenly into something more real and I knew it was because she was being swallowed by the blissful warmth as it reached a new level. I could feel it too. The sensation didn’t last long. I knew it wouldn’t, but still, the first sting of pain was always unexpected and enough to startle even the most seasoned wolf.
A gasp escaped her perfect lips and I knew she had felt the first bite of the changing burn. I needed to keep her calm. It would make things easier for her if she was.
“Don’t be scared. I’m right here. Nothing bad is going to happen to you, but you can’t fight it. Please try to relax.” I knew even as I said the words they were easier said than done. Fighting this was something we had all done the first time. I only wished it could be different for her. I didn’t want her to feel any pain. I didn’t want her to be afraid. I wanted to keep all of that from her.
Her teeth clenched together and I noticed the absence of her breathing filtering through the air. She was holding her breath. The pain was growing stronger. I could feel it building inside myself as well, but I was used to it by now.
“Breathe, Tessa.” I reminded her. She inhaled and I felt myself relax against the change. I shifted back into my professional tone, opting to give her one final morsel of coaching before I changed fully and was unable to. “Your muscles are going to become a little tense now as you begin to feel the pressure weighting on your bones and muscles as they start to shift into place.”
Her muscles began to visibly twitch and tighten, as mine did the same. Bone shifted as skin stretched to accommodate. It hurt, but I’d long ago grown used to the pain of this curse. My change was swift. Years of submitting to it, even if at times it was by force, had made it easier.
The second I completed the change I heard Tessa’s heart rate spike. She was now face to face with her attacker. How could I have forgotten? This moment was all kinds of screwed up for her. A bloodcurdling scream streamed past her lips as the pressure of the change built inside her head. Midway, it turned into a howl as she neared her wolf form. Her skin rippled as bones shifted beneath. This was it. Tessa was changing. Excitement surged through me because I couldn’t wait to see how beautiful she would be in this form as well.
When her transformation was finally over with, I marveled at her beauty. An astonished yelp escaped her as she realized she’d made it through the change. She glanced over her body and felt her face. Fear made her movements jerky and uncoordinated. She didn’t like what she saw, what she felt, it was clear. I watched her, giving her time to sort through her thoughts and take in what she had become. When she glanced over her shoulder and spotted her tail, I nearly died laughing watching her swish it back and forth with so much amazement pooling through her eyes.
As if remembering I was there with her, her gaze shifted to me and she let out a whimper. Something shifted through her eyes, it darkened her features and hardened her muscles. Disgust, she was disgusted with herself. I’d caused her to hate her beautiful body. When she covered her face with her paws and turned her back to me, I knew that was the case.
I’m a monster, don’t look at me! She shouted into my mind. Her voice was strong, determined. It made pride swell within my chest that she could do such a thing so soon. It took most at least two moons before they gathered the ability to speak in this form. Yet she’d mastered it in a few seconds. She was incredible.
I started toward her, unable to stay away. If you’re a monster, then you’re a beautiful monster.
She spun to face me. I knew she would. It was shocking to learn that you could still communicate while in this form.
We can speak? How? She demanded.
I moved in front of her and looked straight into her eyes. She was so beautiful. I wished I could show her what I saw.
Easy. With your mind. I said. She continued to stare at me. Her eyes dipped to my mouth and I knew she was waiting for me to speak again so she could see for certain if my mouth moved or not. Learning we communicated telepathically was something that took a while to get used to. How else did you think we communicated in this form? I was curious as to what her answer would be. Maybe she hadn’t given it much thought until now, or maybe she’d worried she would have to learn a new language.
I don’t know. There was pure honestly in her answer, but it was her clarity that surprised me yet again.
You’re really good at this, you know? I can hear you loud and clear. I said.
She chuckled. Well, imagine that. I’m good at being a telepath, but I can’t change fully. I guess I don’t get to have my cake and eat it too, huh?
I laughed. Even with everything that had happened tonight she was still able to keep her witty sense of humor intact. This girl was amazing.
So this is what a wolf looks like when it’s laughing. She snapped sarcastically and folded her arms over her chest. I knew I’d crossed a line then. She was too uncertain in this form for someone to laugh around her.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t laugh at you, I know. It’s just that your little attitude still manages to shine through in everything you say. I said as I gathered control over myself. This is the halfway form. It won’t last forever, only for the first full moon because you’re a half-breed. On the next full moon you’ll be in your complete form. I hoped I was giving her a sense of reassurance that things wouldn’t be this way for long. She only needed to make it through this moon and then things would be entirely different for her at the next.
Good to know. Relief rolled off her. So, you can read my mind? Only in this form though, right?
No. We don’t read minds. Your thoughts are your own; I can only catch the ones you direct my way.
Interesting, she said. The sense of relief she was feeling was nearly palpable.
So, how was the change? Did it hurt as badly as you’d expected? I hated asking, but it seemed as though I should. Besides, deep down I did have a curiosity to know. I was concerned.
No—but it definitely didn’t tickle either, she said with that snarky attitude of her’s that I adored.
Another laugh bellowed from me. There it is again, that little attitude. God, you crack me up!
She laughed with me, and then surprised me by tossing her arms around my neck and hugging me to her. I leaned into her, thankful this moment hadn’t changed her view on me.
Are you ready for your first hunting lesson? I asked, pushing everything I was feeling to the side for the time being. There were other things we needed to focus on.
Her stomach grumbled loudly at the mention of food and I chuckled. I’ll take that as a yes.
The soft sound of an animal’s footfalls in the distance sparked my senses to life. Excitement crashed through me. I’d already watched her morph into this beautiful creature before me, learned she could speak telepathically better than most within the first few minutes of her change, and now I was dying to see this wonderful girl hunt. I had no doubt she would be amazing at it.
Thank You
Thank you for reading Scorned, I hope you enjoyed it! Please consider leaving an honest review at your point of purchase. Reviews help me in so many ways!
* * *
If you would like to know when my next novel is available, you can sign up for my newsletter here: https://jennifersnyderbooks.com/want-the-latest/
Also, feel free to reach out and tell me your thoughts about the novel. I’d love to hear from you!
Scorned Page 5