It’s over.
The last thought that entered my damaged mind spun on a loop as the darkness took mercy on me and dragged me into its depths.
It’s over.
It. Is. Over.
Twenty-nine
Harrison
Lily looked up at me, giving me a grateful smile when I handed her the tumbler full of Grey Goose. Neat, no ice. She’d need the alcohol to numb her mind. The bruises on her face had me harshly biting my lip. I wanted to kill the fucker all over again. Hurt him, slowly and excruciatingly.
When I’d burst into that lockup and saw him about to rape her, the magnitude of rage that came down over me had made my brain tremble. The split-second it took me to shoot the fucker right through his fat skull had been too quick for him. He deserved a world of suffering. A magnitude of pain and misery.
“All clear, Lily?” I asked softly as I settled on the bed beside her and rested back onto the headboard.
“Aye, aye, Cap’n,” she answered in a whisper as she lifted her legs and tucked them under her. Leaning towards me, she rested her head on my shoulder, and I slipped an arm around her, pulling her closer. Protecting her from the ghosts.
Lily Cooper was one tough cookie. She was strong enough to get over it, although she didn’t know that herself yet.
Everyone, including the Dutch police, had finally left and the silence that descended was a welcome relief. Lily had wanted to go back to her own hotel room, but I had refused her. The nightmares that would plague her once sleep finally pulled her under would be crippling, and I was to be the only one who would comfort her. I needed to experience her nightmares with her. I wasn’t sure why, but I needed them to be my burden too.
“Is it over?”
Her quiet voice made my heart clench, the fear in those three small words as loud as the roaring in my chest.
“Yes,” I answered. “Yes, it is.”
She nodded and took a large gulp of her drink.
But it was far from over for me, not that I would let Lily know that. The Bratva wouldn’t take the death of one of their own so easily. They would retaliate. A life for a life. It was how it worked.
Pushing away the thoughts, I knocked back a mouthful of whisky. “You’re cold. Do you want a blanket?”
She shook her head. Her hair tickled my neck, bringing me a much-needed smile. “Nah.”
Burying herself closer to me, I rubbed my hand up and down her arm, trying to dispel the chill.
“You’re one brave girl. Do you know that?”
Her sigh was long and loud. “Am I? I don’t feel it, Harry.” For some strange reason, the fact that she’d shortened my name made my chest purr. Fuck. I needed to grow a pair! “I gave in. Do you know that?”
Tipping her head back with a finger under her chin, I brought her gaze to mine. “We all do what we need to do to survive, babe. You didn’t give in, you coped. Your mind did what it needed to survive what it thought was coming.”
Her eyes watered, and she gulped hard. “I’m not sure. I won’t allow the memory yet, but… but, did he… manage to…?”
Clasping hold of her cheeks with both hands, I forced her to look at the sincerity in my eyes. “No. No! He was down before. I made sure of that. I wouldn’t allow him to hurt you that way again, Lily.”
A fat tear rolled over her cheek when she nodded hard, her head bobbing up and down. She screwed up her face and buried into the crook of my neck. And, then, she let go.
Her sobs were loud, mighty, and therapeutic. She clung to me, her little fingers digging into my flesh as though my body could help her escape the horror she’d been through. I gave her everything I could right then. I gave her comfort. I gave her my soul. It was the crutch she needed to hold her up.
“It’s over, Lily. It’s over. You can breathe again.”
“It’s over,” she repeated, as though saying the words out loud made her believe it.
Her tears stopped. Her breathing levelled out. And sleep tugged her into its shattering depths.
***
Her scream was so loud that I bolted upright, alarm leaving me stunned for a brief moment. Lily’s skin was so clammy that I had to peel her off me.
“Lily!”
Shaking her when she screamed out again, she finally snapped awake. Her wide, terrified eyes gawked at me before reality hit her.
“Just a dream, sweetheart. It’s not real. He’s dead.”
She nodded, gulping at air as she fought to settle her heart rate. “He’s dead. He’s dead.”
“He’s dead,” I echoed, confirming it to her.
Blowing out a long breath, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. She winced at the pain when her knuckles kneaded the bruising. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Not long. A few hours, that’s all.”
She nodded and turned to me. “I want to go home, Harrison.”
“I have us flights booked tomorrow. You’re going home.”
“Home.” Her eyes saddened for a moment before she said, “I suppose this is it then. You don’t need to protect me anymore.”
Biting back what I really wanted to say, I nodded. “Yeah.”
Looking down, she rubbed her wrist. “I’m sorry I lost your bangle. I can’t return it to you now.”
“I already have it. We found it. I can only presume Padraic threw it out of the window when he took you.” I reached over and opened the drawer in the small bedside cabinet. Handing it to her, I smiled. “It’s yours.”
Her brows dipped as she frowned. “Why would you give it to me? I thought it would be used for your next client.”
“It was made for you, Lily. No one else.” I knew how much she liked the bracelet. I wanted to give her so much, but in the end, a small piece of jewellery would be all I could offer. A part of me delighted in the thought that Lily would always think of me when she looked at it. And, on darker reflection, I realised I would always know where she was. Did that make me a stalker? Of course it fucking did!
She watched as I slid it around her wrist and snapped the clasp shut. The touch of her skin sent shivers through my fingers, and I found I couldn’t let go. Her hand shook when I slowly ran my thumb up the back of her hand.
“Harry?” Her breathing became shaky, and, although I was looking at her hand, I knew that she was licking her lips.
Little by little, I trailed the back of my fingers up the length of her arm, over her shoulder and along her collarbone, and up the centre of her throat, coming to rest on her damp lips.
“I’m going to miss you, Lily Cooper.”
Her eyes misted over and softly she placed a delicate kiss on my fingers. “And you, Harrison Cole.”
Biting back everything I wanted to say and do, I made myself move away. But, when I shifted, Lily grabbed my wrist and stopped me.
“Harry.” There was so much emotion in the way she said my name that a lump formed in the middle of my throat.
“All clear, Lily?”
For the first time, my question had a different response. She shook her head and swallowed deeply. “I, uhh, I need to ask one last favour from you.”
“Anything,” I whispered as I slipped an unruly strand of her long hair behind her ear.
She remained frozen for a moment, deliberating over what she needed to ask of me. Looking away, her cheeks flamed, causing me to frown.
“Lily?”
Gulping, she straightened her shoulders and looked at me. “Would you…” another pause, “Would you… have sex with me?” The words tumbled from her as if she’d propelled them up her throat and spat them at me. Fire painted her face as she cautiously stared straight at me.
The lump in my throat was forced out in a choked breath, and I stumbled for a moment. “What?”
Wringing her hands together with nerves, she chewed on her lip before saying, “I… I’ve never, you know, done it. Even after what happened to me I still see myself as a virgin. I’m twenty bloody two for Christ’s sake, and I’ve never had sex. Not
like I’ve ever really wanted to do it with anyone anyway. I’m not sure I’ll even like it, Harry, you know. And, I mean, come on, who’d want this damaged bitch? I’ve all on getting words out never mind… And, I mean, I trust you, wholly. I just think…”
I halted her rambling with two fingers to her lips. Silence coiled around us, the only sound in my ears the heavy pulsing beat of my heart.
This was so dangerous. So fucking dangerous.
God, I wanted Lily Cooper more than I’d ever wanted anyone before. I’d never needed this kind of connection before, and as much as I wanted to act on it, I knew I could never give her anything more.
That didn’t mean I was strong enough to rebuke her though. I was so weak in so many ways. I knew I’d never be able to walk away from the way she was looking at me right then. The heat in her eyes and the hope in her gaze as it lingered on me was more seductive than the feel of any silk or lace that could sheath her body.
Taking her chin in my fingers, I forced her to look at me, really look at me. “If I could give you the world, Lily, then I would. I’d love nothing more than to steal the darkness from inside you and throw it into the ether. Bestow on you happiness that would last a lifetime. If I could grant you a thousand laughs and smiles, then I would leave here a happy man. But I can’t give you any of those.”
She grimaced, but I pinched her chin tighter.
“But I can give you this.”
Her eyes widened when I slipped my thumb into her mouth. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and I smiled softly. “Suck it.”
For a moment she was struck dumb, but, finally, she started to softly suck on my thumb. Her tongue twisted, and she sucked harder. Saliva coated my skin and slipping it out between her lips I smeared it over her chin and down the centre of her throat.
Her breath caught when I traced the outline of her nipple through the thin cotton of her t-shirt. It pebbled for me instantly. Fuck, if she was already this responsive only Christ knew what she’d be like when she sank down the length of my cock.
“You are not a damaged bitch,” I whispered when I leaned into the crook of her neck and ran my tongue up to her ear. “You’re beautiful. Sexy. You’re strong, Lily Cooper. So very strong.”
She nodded jerkily. “Uh-huh.”
“Yes!” I fortified, pinching her nipple harshly. “Say it.”
I couldn’t help but smile when I felt the tremble begin in her legs and work its way through her whole body.
“Say what?” she mumbled as she slid her hands onto my head and grasped at my hair.
“What are you?”
“Umm,” she gulped. “I’m strong.”
“Good girl.”
Praising her good behaviour, I moved my hand from her breast and slipped it between her thighs. She gasped faintly when I started rubbing through the denim of her jeans. Her eyes slid closed and she began to rock on my hand. Little gasps of air left her when she started breathing heavier.
“Oh, God.”
I watched her face, the gratification exhibited so openly in the way her lips parted, and she moaned loudly when the first of the many orgasms I was about to give her washed over her. Knowing I was the first man to pleasure her properly made my cock swell and I bit my lip, urging it to calm the hell down.
She squealed when I caught her ankles and yanked her down the bed until she was laid flat. She watched as I popped the button of her jeans and pulled them off her.
Her legs were toned but pale and I had to wonder if they’d ever seen the sun. She hid the scars she adorned her thighs with from everyone, and that saddened me so very much.
“Harry?”
She looked down at me when I started to voyage up the length of her with my lips, planting kisses over every inch until I reached the place my tongue wanted to explore.
“Harry?” She appeared alarmed and placed her hands over herself, covering her pussy.
Glaring at her, I took her hands and moved them aside. “You’re beautiful, Lily. Even here. Especially here!”
The small scrap of material that concealed her tore easily in my fingers when I tugged at them.
“Holy shit!” She cried out when I buried my face between her legs and devoured her greedily. Her fingers grabbed my hair and her back arched. “Fuck!”
I pleasured her over and over, eagerly taking all that she gave me. Her body bucked when the third orgasm raced through her bones and she half sobbed-half laughed. Pushing my mouth away from her when she couldn’t take any more, she scowled down at me. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Slowly. Very, very slowly,” I answered, kissing my way across her bruised ribs and up to her breasts. Pushing her t-shirt up and out of the way I feasted on her plump nipples, torturing her with long, slow sucks and quick little flicks of my tongue.
“Harry!” I didn’t think I’d ever grow tired of listening to my name, drenched with so much emotion, fall from her breath. But we only had this moment, and although I would never hear her again, I knew I would always remember the echo of her gravelly voice for the rest of my days.
She pulled her t-shirt over her head, and I lazily appraised her curves as I shuffled out of my jeans and stripped naked. She studied me, her eyes slowly surveying every inch of me. When her gaze fell on my cock, she sat up. Tentatively, she reached out and smoothly stroked the back of her fingernails down the length of my shaft.
I was all for rough, hard sex; the harder, the better for me. But the way Lily timidly discovered what would soon be buried deep inside her had my breath coming in short, sharp bursts.
My thighs trembled when her mouth replaced her fingers, and she licked around the tip with one delicious swirl of her tongue. My balls clenched as I fought not to come inside her mouth. The girl had no gag reflex, taking the whole length of me down her throat before she slowly drew back up.
To say she was so shy, she was ravenous, sucking and licking until I had to direct her mouth away before I came.
Grabbing a condom, she watched as I rolled it down.
“All clear?” I asked, making sure this was what she wanted.
She nodded, staring me directly in the eye. “Aye, aye, Cap’n.”
Lifting her onto my lap, I positioned myself against her and clenched my jaw when she slowly lowered herself onto me.
Her brow creased as if she was in pain. “Oh.”
“You okay?”
She nodded, her teeth buried in her lip and obstructing any vocal reply.
Jesus fucking Christ. She was so tight. I wasn’t sure I could cope with her slow, gentle moves. Gripping her hips, I encouraged her to quicken, and she accepted my unspoken demand perfectly.
Her tits bounced the more she rode me, and unable to resist, I sat up and took a nipple between my teeth. Almost instantly her pussy clenched around me and she came hard. Her cum dripped down my cock, coating my balls as she fucked me harder.
“Now it’s my turn,” I growled through clenched teeth as I forced myself deep inside her and came with an earth-shattering intensity.
She stopped moving and buried her face in my chest, panting heavily. “Bloody hell!”
I chuckled and tilted her head back. “So?”
She frowned and shook her head, confused by my question. “So, what?”
“Did you like it?”
She grinned, her beautiful smile evaporating the heaviness in my heart that had descended when I wondered how the hell I was supposed to walk away from her now. “I think we both know the answer to that.”
“Yeah,” I answered with a smile as large as hers. Except, when she lifted off me, diverting her eyes away from mine, and said, “Thank you,” my smile turned to a cringe. Thank you? What the fuck?
As if embarrassed she pulled on her clothes with a speed that left me stunned.
“Thank you again, Harrison. I’ll, uhh, I’ll see you at the airport tomorrow.”
I was left open-mouthed when the door closed behind her with a slam. I’d not even removed the dam
n condom before she’d removed herself from my life.
And, shit, I didn’t like how that made me feel.
Thirty
Lily
“Do you ever think about finding your birth parents?” Bec asked me as she took a sip of her latte.
I looked around the small café. It was quiet, the thick layer of snow that had blanketed the city during the night keeping the frequent coffee drinkers away. “Sometimes,” I answered honestly. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea. And I’m sure it would hurt Mum and Dad.”
“Why do you say that?” Kit queried.
“Well, they’re my parents. They always have been and always will be. I just think it would worry them. They’ve been through enough with my shit, and hopefully, now they can sit back and stop worrying. There’s no point creating drama when there is no need for it.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it drama, Lil.” Hayley shrugged, and when she looked at me with concern in her eyes, I smiled, showing I was okay. I couldn’t expect them to understand my feelings, but they took my opinion.
“So, you ready for this weekend?” Kit asked, bringing the subject around to the upcoming Quantum gig.
Nodding eagerly, I grinned. “So much. It seems ages since we performed. I need the adrenaline that comes with it. That or a stick of dynamite up my arse. Don’t know what’s up with me lately, but I’m just exhausted.”
“You’ve had a lot on, Lil,” Bec expressed with a smile. We were back to our easy friendship after she apologised and hugged me to near death experience. “And I know that something is bothering you, but until you open up to your besties, then we can’t help you.”
I swallowed back the ache that came with her words. Six days since I had last seen Harrison, and I hated how much I missed him. I didn’t want to miss him. I had thought I’d be able to have sex with him, get it out of my system and then leave it there. No such bloody luck. The emotion that had come over me afterwards had near destroyed me. I couldn’t allow him to see how much I’d fallen for him, and when I had felt the threat of tears, I upped and left him.
Reviving Heaven (Room 103 Book 6) Page 14