‘I’m thankful he did too,’ Fingal said. ‘I still can’t believe what a convincing liar Mrs Ross is. It would not have been so easy to prove your innocence once you were in prison.’ He felt her shiver beside him and he squeezed her hand. ‘It’s all in the past now, Janet. The Ross family will never trouble you again. Tomorrow Donald is going to drive both of us to Dumfries in the coach so that you can hear Mr Glenlydon read Mr Saunders’s will. The Reverend Drummond asked him to come to Crillion Keep to read it yesterday. He wanted Mrs Ross to hear it because she could not argue with the lawyer and Mr Saunders’s written word. They went home yesterday afternoon.’
‘Thank you, God, for that,’ Janet breathed fervently. ‘I could not live in the same house with them whatever Josiah’s last wishes.’
‘He was wise enough to know that, Janet. Tomorrow you will hear his plans for your future. I hope you will be happy with the generous provisions he has made.’
He didn’t tell her that Josiah Saunders had been equally generous to him. Was the Reverend Drummond right in thinking Josiah had believed Janet loved him, as he loved her? What if he was wrong? If they carried out the terms of his will they would be bound together for life, even if they were not man and wife. Fingal didn’t think he could bear that – to see Janet every day, to work together side by side, to share their problems and their triumphs, but never be able to take her in his arms and love her.
Janet was up early and neatly dressed in black ready for the journey to Dumfries.
‘I have never been as far from home as this,’ she said in a low voice. ‘Part of me feels excited, and that makes me feel guilty when Josiah is dead, but I am apprehensive too. You are sure the lawyer will not hand me over to the constable or the magistrate?’
‘I am absolutely sure you are safe, Janet, and your husband was one of the wisest and kindest men I have met,’ Fingal said sincerely. ‘He would have been pleased to give you a little excitement. After we have visited the lawyer, we shall walk down the main street of the town. You will like that. Donald will take the horses to the inn so they will be fed and rested for the return journey and we shall meet him there to eat some refreshment.’
‘Thank you, Fingal. You have thought of everything. I don’t know how I would have managed without you.’ Her expression grew sad. ‘If only you did not have to go so far away for your work,’ she added with a sigh. ‘The Reverend Drummond says you have done well since you moved north again. When must you return to Edinburgh?’
‘I shall be here for a few more days, then I must return and make plans for the future. Part of my success has been because I am unmarried and free to travel to the more distant clients. Unfortunately, finding favour with the senior partner has caused jealousy with two of the clerks who are older than I am and who have been there longer.’ He sighed heavily. ‘Jealousy and greed cause so much unhappiness. I had no wish to usurp their places.’
‘I am sure you work hard, Fingal. The Reverend Drummond says you are a credit to the parish and to Josiah and my grandfather.’
Fingal frowned, puzzled by her words. ‘I hope I am a credit to your grandfather. He taught me so much about the world beyond our parish boundaries. Why does he think I am a credit to Josiah Saunders?’
‘I suppose it is because you have worked hard and done so well. Josiah had faith in you when he awarded the scholarship to enable you to attend the university.’
Fingal’s face went pale. He turned towards her. ‘Did your husband tell you that?’
‘Oh no! Josiah never mentioned any of his good deeds or the small kindnesses he did for those in need, but he often said he wished he had been a dominie like my grandfather. He believed knowledge was the route to many kinds of riches – and he didn’t mean money.’
‘Then how do you know it was Mr Saunders who paid for my time at university? I thought the scholarship was awarded by the elders, especially the laird. I thought it was probably due to the persuasion of your grandfather and the Reverend Drummond. I never knew. I could have thanked him so many times, and in so many ways.’
‘Josiah was proud of your achievements, Fingal, and he respected you as a man. I believe he considered that enough reward,’ Janet said softly. ‘He had no respect for Henry Ross, or he would have helped him too.’
Fingal was deep in thought for the rest of the journey, mulling over her words. He realized now that he was already indebted to Mr Saunders. Without his help he would have become a coachman like his father and Donald. He was beginning to understand why Josiah Saunders wanted to leave education as his legacy for all the children of the parish, however poor they might be. How could he refuse to carry out his wishes? What would he do if Janet refused to share the duties which Josiah had delegated to both of them in the belief they loved each other? What if he had been wrong about Janet’s feelings, or if the Reverend Drummond had misunderstood Josiah’s meaning?
Janet was overwhelmed when she had listened to the lawyer reading Josiah’s will.
‘He has been so generous to me already,’ she said, ‘and now to leave me a house of my own. As for Crillion Keep,’ she cast Fingal a puzzled glance, ‘I do not understand why I should have a part of it as well.’
‘You will, my dear, when you read the letter which my client left for you. I suggest you retire to a quiet room in the inn and read it in peace. If there is anything you would like to discuss, or anything for which you need my help, then I shall be here until 3.30 this afternoon. Your husband was a good client and it will give me pleasure to assist you.’
When she had read the letter, Janet realized that Josiah had fully understood, and even shared, her desire to teach the younger children of the parish, but he had known the task of organizing a school where children could board would be too great for her on her own.
‘Did he write about setting up a school in the letter to you, Fingal?’ she asked in troubled tones, ‘even though he knows you are making a career for yourself as a lawyer?’
‘He did,’ Fingal admitted. ‘I must say it was a shock.’
‘Josiah knew how much I longed to teach. He encouraged me to help Evie Bell and Peggy’s two children. He taught me so many things, which you and Andrew learned from Grandfather. Josiah knew so much. He said it was because books had been his companions when he was a boy and unable to do many of the things other boys did on account of his health. He has taught me more Latin and I can speak French fairly well.’
‘My mother tells me he also instructed you in keeping the ledgers for running the household and Home Farm, as well as explaining about rents for all the cottages?’
‘Yes, he did. I enjoyed keeping the ledgers and understanding the figures.’
‘You are more like Andrew than I realized,’ Fingal said. ‘He could always beat me at mathematics and science.’
‘Yes, but Grandfather said you could beat him at Latin and French and everything to do with English writers.’
‘So the idea of setting up a school in Crillion Tower does not frighten you, Janet?’
‘No, it is what Josiah wanted more than anything else.’ She looked suddenly troubled. ‘But I know I cannot do it alone and I shall understand if you decide to return to Edinburgh and your career as a lawyer.’
‘I see. When your period of mourning is over I had planned to ask you to marry me. I had hoped to persuade you to come with me to Edinburgh.’ He watched her expressive face.
‘I couldn’t do that, Fingal! Josiah was a good man and he was kind to me when I had no home and no one to help me. I must respect his wishes now.’
‘I understand that, Janet.’
‘Oh, Fingal, you’ll never know how much I longed to hear you say you wanted to marry me when Josiah was waiting for my answer. But you went away.’
‘I went because I had nothing to offer you then, except my love. That would not have provided a roof for us, or for your mother when she was so badly in need of care. You’ll never know what it cost me to follow my mother’s advice and leave you to make y
our own decision. I was sure Josiah Saunders would never treat you badly, but I wanted to care for you. Now I can afford to keep a wife and you will be free again after a year.’
‘I do love you, Fingal. I think I have always loved you, but I cannot go to Edinburgh. I must try to carry out Josiah’s wishes and help other children as he helped me. He believed we should all have the opportunity to learn.’
‘Ah, Janet,’ Fingal’s eyes were shining and a wide smile lit his face. ‘All I ever wanted was to hear you say you love me. I don’t care where I live so long as we can be together. It is true I am enjoying my work and the progress I am making, but so long as we can work together, side by side, knowing that you love me, I will wait for you for ever.’
‘Y-you mean you would come back to live at Crillion Keep? You would help me establish a school and you would teach the older boys, and the girls if they wanted to go on learning?’ Janet’s eyes were wide with hope.
‘Of course I will, so long as we are together,’ Fingal responded joyously. His expression sobered. ‘I shall have to give fair notice to my employers. But perhaps it is a good thing if I am away from you while you are in mourning. Each week without you will seem like an eternity. I long to hold you in my arms and make you truly mine, Janet.’
‘Oh, Fingal, that’s wonderful! I’m sure Josiah will be sending us his blessing.’
‘Now let us go and find Donald and eat. Then we will call again on Mr Glenlydon and tell him what we have decided to do.’
Fingal was in for another surprise when the lawyer had heard their plans.
‘The Reverend Drummond hoped you would carry out my client’s wishes together. He assured me that you are an intelligent and capable young woman, Mrs Saunders, and that you will organize the facilities for a school efficiently. He tells me there are many people in the parish who will be glad to work for you and assist you. However, it seems a pity to give up your career as a lawyer entirely, Mr McLauchlan. When you return from Edinburgh finally I suggest you contact me again. Perhaps we could come to some arrangement if you would like to work two days each week with me and my brother. We have already discussed this and he is agreeable. Your work would mainly be dealing with country clients on your side of the burgh. Many find it difficult to travel into town. I think you would find the work stimulating and the extra money would be useful no doubt, especially if you get a wife and family of your own.’ He smiled and looked from one to the other. ‘The Reverend Drummond told me it is no secret that Mr Saunders hoped the two of you would marry.’
A year later, Janet, and her childhood sweetheart were married in the village church. It was not a large wedding but Maggie McLauchlan and Peggy, with help from Mrs Bell and Evie, had made a feast at Crillion Keep for all those on the estate to wish them well. Also Mr Cole, who was now a widower, had insisted on making Janet a wedding dress in pale-blue silk as a gift. Hannah Foster and her brood of boys were there, along with Mrs Fortescue, as well as the Bell family and all their workers from Home Farm. Lizzy and Emma were beside themselves with excitement. They had cleaned the whole house under Mrs Mossy’s supervision and brought in a vase of fresh flowers for the bedroom which the bride and groom would use. Fingal’s niece, Beth, was Janet’s bridesmaid. She smiled shyly at everyone, while her brother Angus stood stiffly in his best suit and starched collar and Peggy beamed proudly at her offspring.
‘It is wonderful to be home at last and amongst so many friends,’ Fingal said later that evening. ‘But I thought I would never get my beautiful bride to myself,’ he added softly, drawing Janet into his arms and lifting her onto the big feather mattress. He was almost certain Josiah had never consummated his marriage to Janet but he was less sure whether she had suffered at the brutal hands of Wull Foster the night she had run away from Braeheights. It was a subject he had avoided but he vowed he would be gentle and patient with her. He was rewarded with wonder and delight when he discovered his bride was his, and only his, and a passionately responsive and loving wife.
By the Same Author
Another Home, Another Love
Darkest before the Dawn
Copyright
© Gwen Kirkwood
First published in Great Britain 2014
ISBN 978 0 7198 1518 8 (epub)
ISBN 978 0 7198 1519 5 (mobi)
ISBN 978 0 7198 1520 1 (pdf)
ISBN 978 0 7198 1381 4 (print)
Robert Hale Limited
Clerkenwell House
Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT
www.halebooks.com
The right of Gwen Kirkwood to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
Beyond Reason Page 24