by Rebecca Dash
Chapter 5
Love And Starlight
Elizabeth rushed through her morning cup of drinking chocolate and still had the warm taste in her mouth. It was almost unheard of for her to hurry such an enjoyable event, but busy times called for desperate action. Their traditional Christmas Eve celebration was only a week away and there was so much yet to do. She sat at a table in the drawing room, pushing almonds onto a string. Her mother sat across from her, happily folding pieces of colored paper into ornate flowers.
“I am quite excited for you,” said Mrs. Harris.
“I am thrilled as well. I have managed to get through most of the almonds without breaking a single piece of string. A feat not accomplished last year. If the raisins cooperate to the same degree, I shall be giddy.”
“That is not at all what I meant, and you know it. I believe the man I have in mind is someone who will thrill you to your soul.”
“Then why not let me meet him so I may decide for myself?”
“Because I am the expert matchmaker and the time is not right.”
“The matches you make cannot all be correct. I have heard many things about the person you have chosen.”
Mrs. Harris stopped folding and looked directly at her daughter. “What sort of things?”
“That he is a short, round, balding man from Lortan that is as vile in character as he is repulsive to the eyes.”
“You have been snooping around quite efficiently to have made it that far.”
“I am nothing if not thorough, Mother.”
“Well you will see the earl for yourself soon enough.”
“What if I refuse?”
“You cannot. The time will soon be right. I have made sure he will attend the Christmas Eve celebration.”
Elizabeth sprang up from the table. “How could you!”
“It seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know the man. You will be content with anything after a glass or two of eggnog.”
“Eggnog is hardly the answer.”
“That depends entirely on the question, my dear.”
Elizabeth took a deep breath, smoothed her dress and sat down. There were still decorations to string. Anger wouldn’t change that. Storming out would only make the task take longer. She failed to understand how her mother could do this to her. But Elizabeth was never one to listen to rules. She knew it was because she grew up spending more time horsing around with Charles and Gareth than learning the finer points of being a proper lady.
Mrs. Harris chuckled as she folded paper. “I am surprised to see you are taking the news so well.”
“Is this funny for you, Mother?” Elizabeth could feel the pressure in her head by then.
“Your anger does not amuse me. It is just that, on my darkest days, I never imagined you would be married at all.”
“And this was your answer? To promise me away to a troll?”
“The earl is hardly a troll.”
“Have you seen him?”
Her mother still smiled. “He is the one you are destined to be with forever. It is a beautiful thing. Have you considered the wedding at all? How are you preparing for it?”
By crying every night. Elizabeth did not speak the truth out loud. Even though her mother had made terrible decisions for her, she didn’t want to make her unhappy any sooner than was necessary.
There was a commotion in the hallway. Men yelled happily as if making a triumphant return from battle. Elizabeth’s father and brother entered the drawing room.
Mr. Harris carried an axe slung over his shoulder. “It was another fine hunt!” he announced.
“And Father insisted on chopping down the tree with no help at all,” said Charles. “Not even a nudge from me so it would fall in the right direction. He is obsessed with being a man of adventure.”
“Everyone has a job to do. You spotted the perfect Christmas tree in a forest of inferiors. It was the least I might contribute to the expedition to bring it down for us, blow by blow.”
“I am just thankful you allowed the footmen to help us get the monstrous shrub home. I quite enjoy being able to stand upright, with my back unbroken.”
“Are we to see this incredible tree?” said Mrs. Harris. “Or will this be another great story like your fishing trips?”
Her husband gasped. “My fishing trips are nothing to be trifled with. I could have fed armies with some of the catches I made.”
“You should take your skills to the front lines to feed our fighting men.”
“Surely not at Christmas time. I am obligated to feed my poor family first. It is the moral thing to do.”
“We are not poor,” said Elizabeth.
“If I die while fishing in France, you may become so. The last time I did that, I barely escaped with my life. Napoleon’s army passed only feet away from my favorite location. I had to hide in the water to escape.”
Mrs. Harris rolled her eyes. “Are we to hear your tall tales all day or will you show us the tree?”
Her husband waved the footmen inside. It took four of them to maneuver the thing through the house. Elizabeth gasped at its size.
“Have you lost your mind?” She blurted it out.
Mr. Harris grinned. “In the best possible way. It is the most prominent symbol of Christmas there is!”
“How will we even fit that in the room?”
“My axe is still sharp if need be. But according to my expert calculations, the tree will come just short of the ceiling.”
Mrs. Harris looked worried, even while the footmen placed the large tub in the middle of the drawing room then strained to get the trunk inside it and heave the thing up. The tip of the fir tree bent against the ceiling.
“Keep pushing,” said Mr. Harris. “It will not be a problem. Simply another piece of this day we must overcome. Obstacles are there to be dealt with.”
Elizabeth loved her father’s attitude about life and how to make it through adversity. She thought his refusal to accept anything less than what he wanted was what drove her to do the same. For better or worse, she could not change who her parents had made her.
Two footmen held the tree straight while the others filled the tub with rocks on all sides of the trunk until they reached the top of the tub. One footman let go of the enormous thing. The other swallowed hard, supporting it for a moment before slowly letting his gloved hands slip away.
Mrs. Harris nearly fainted. “That thing will be the death of us all if it ever tips.”
Mr. Harris winked at her. “The trick is not to let it.”
“How will we even fit a star on top?”
He pulled a chair beside the tree and climbed up with his axe.
“This is just foolish,” said his wife. “You will fall.”
“Nonsense. I will simply chop off the top part curling on our ceiling and all will be saved. You must never give up on Christmas, but keep its spirit firmly in your heart. If you stray from it, it will do the same for you. Then where would we all be?”
Mr. Harris swung the axe at the uppermost part of the tree, striking it and leaning back on the chair as he did, waving his arm around to regain balance.
“Father, be careful,” said Elizabeth.
“There is no need to be concerned. I have been a professional at this since I was no older than you are now.”
“A professional in the art of tree handling? There is no such thing.”
“There ought to be. These trees are wonderful Christmas ornamentation. I remember when I was a young, struggling, wine merchant, looking for something to set me apart from the rest. I decided that importing the finest vintage Germany had to offer was the way to go.”
And there was the story again. In truth, Elizabeth didn’t mind listening one more time. It was practically a holiday tradition for their family to hear it. But she had somewhere to be. She backed away toward the door as her father spoke, all starry eyed while transported to his youth.
“Hochheim was the town I wound up in to make my greates
t connection in business,” he continued. “The deal I struck there, importing hock fine enough to keep many a lord and lady much more than just a trifle disguised was responsible for an upturn in my fortunes that would last an entire lifetime. And every year, my partner would have his Christmas tree decorated. Its beauty reminded me of how wonderful the people you meet in life can be. How they may save you simply by being there at the right time to do it. Being there to see that tree certainly saved my life. It saved the lives of the family I had not yet found by blessing me with the option of giving them the best start in the world. It will always remind us of miracles.”
Mr. Harris took another swing at the top of the tree. Charles turned around to face his sister.
“I do not know what you go on about. That was a wonderful…”
Elizabeth was nowhere to be found.
***
With a skip in her step, she snuck out of the drawing room while they were all listening to the customary tale. She wanted to hear it, so she waited longer than was sensible before leaving. Hopefully, no one would even notice her departure from the grounds.
Elizabeth walked down a long, rock covered path toward the main road. It wasn’t far to the abandoned library at the edge of town. The snow made it more difficult to traverse. Even the leather half boots she wore were not made for such conditions. But there was no time to waste. Each day passed so quickly, and soon she would meet the horrible earl destined to be her husband. Who knew what fate would befall her from there? Elizabeth could not even imagine living in Lortan. Her stomach turned the minute she considered marrying that man. She shook her head hard, trying to erase the thought.
The library was in view, and her heart quickened because of what they might talk about there. She and Gareth were running out of excuses. They had spoken all about the past. The books they read, the sword fights, the laughter that still echoed from within the walls like spirits. They spoke about future adventures as if they might still be possible. Their relationship had become so strange.
With Elizabeth’s mind distracted and her heart broken she was not the best company. Gareth had been so patient with her, yet there was that pain deep within his eyes. She could see it even through that broken, library window. He stood on the other side of it, waiting for her.
“I was beginning to worry,” he said, extending his hand to help her climb inside.
She took it and lifted herself through the portal to their secret world.
“I had to linger to listen to…” Her long dress got caught under her feet, making her lose balance.
Elizabeth saw the library floor coming at her, then he was there, trying to hold her steady but tumbling down himself, twisting to break her fall, much to his own detriment. She landed right on top of him, with nothing but her clumsy feet touching the cold tiles.
Her voice caught in her throat as she tried to thank him. Gareth still held her tightly. Her hair came loose from the classic up-do she wore and its strands fell on either side of his face. She attempted to push herself up, but couldn’t move. The way Lord Bainford stared made her too weak to want to. Those smoldering eyes, thin lips, and freckles on his nose made it impossible to resist.
Elizabeth could only look at his lips as they lay scandalously in that quiet place. She thought she could kiss him. They were so close, it could happen like an accident. Maybe Gareth would not even notice. And there was nothing in the world she wanted more.
She leaned down toward him, mind racing with all the rules there were to live by and how none of them applied to her heart. Gareth looked at her, anticipating the touch. He was what she needed, not someone from Lortan who did not know her like this. Who would never have that opportunity. Elizabeth’s willpower broke as she moved in completely, her lips caressing his. There was such a jolt of electricity in her stomach and chest that she shook. It was as if her entire body had been awakened for the first time.
Gareth clenched her waist before sliding his hands to the small of her back. She felt his muscles tense as he pushed himself up while clinging to her. He flipped her over, rolling on top and returning the kiss more forcefully. They were tangled in each other. Elizabeth yearned for more of him. His lips slid from her mouth, to her cheek, to her neck. Each kiss sent shots of lightning through her body. Her mind swam with his love. It was warm for her in that room with him even though no fire burned. Everything Gareth had, she wanted. The stress of real life could not reach her. Not when he was there.
The crunch of boots through snow shattered their bliss. Someone was close to the secret hideaway. Gareth pushed himself from her and ran to the side of the window, peeking out.
“It is your brother,” he whispered.
She sprang up on her feet. “Is he coming in here?”
“No. He is strolling by.”
“How long has Charles been out there?”
“I do not know.”
“Was he watching the window?”
Lord Bainford smiled mischievously. “You do realize that I was otherwise occupied at the time?”
She blushed.
“Pleasantly so,” he continued.
Elizabeth leaned against one of the old, wooden shelves. She was fully prepared to hide behind it if she had to. The boots in the snow continued for several moments before the sound grew muffled and distant. It was too close for her liking. Elizabeth tried to calm herself, both from the near discovery and that clouded, lustful state that consumed her. She straightened her dress and looked down at the ground. The shame on her face could easily be seen.
“Do not do this to yourself. Do not let it hurt you.” Gareth stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her.
“What else can I do? I am supposed to be married to the Earl of Northwich. There is only a week left before I meet him. I have no right meeting with you here. A proper lady would not.”
“A proper lady needs to be loved too.”
“Are we in love, Gareth?”
“We have known each other for so long. How could we not love each other?”
“That is hardly the same thing.”
“Never feel bad about what we have done today. Cherish it. But do not hold onto it. That will only make what you have to do more difficult.”
He kissed the top of her head. Elizabeth could no longer speak. The words got stuck in her throat, stabbing her to the point of tears. She clung to him, hoping that by some miracle there would be a way to escape her fate.
***
That night, Elizabeth tossed and turned in bed. The soft blanket made her sweat in her night shift and bed jacket. She hadn’t stopped thinking of Gareth since leaving the library. When she sat at the dinner table, quietly, with her family she thought of the way Gareth tasted. When tea was served, she imagined the way Gareth smelled while he laid on top of her. And while she slept by herself, she could only wonder what it would be like if he were the one destined to lay beside her there. Those thoughts both delighted and tormented her. She never imagined such a mad mix of emotion was possible.
With her mind still racing, she threw the hot covers off and put her feet down on the floor. The cold wood sent shivers up her spine as her bare feet found a fresh awakening. She walked toward the window and pushed, letting it swing open. Cool air rushed inside the room. She took a deep breath and looked down.
“Gareth?” she whispered, in shock to see him standing there and in mid throw.
He released the small pebble and winced as soon as he did. Elizabeth ducked to the side as the rock went flying by her head.
“What was that for?” She raised her voice.
He put his finger to his lips and whispered up at her. “I was trying to get your attention.”
“You certainly did, by nearly maiming me.”
“Who goes around randomly opening windows at this time of night?”
“People who are excessively warm.”
He shook his head as he laughed.
“You could have scarred me for life,” she smiled.
�
��Well, I would love you anyway.”
Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open. The fire inside her burned once again to hear those words.
“What are you doing here?” she said. “If my father sees you…”
She looked around the outside of the house but there was no sign of light or movement.
“I am here because I need to know what if,” said Gareth.
“Could you be any more confusing?”
“I cannot spend my entire life wondering what may have been. What if we just go? We can leave together. Right now. We never have to return. And I would care for you for all the rest of my days.”
“Why now? Why when my parents have their minds set on me marrying this earl? Why did you wait so long to ask?”
“Because you always think you have more time. Until suddenly you don’t. Not one more moment for a dream to come true. It was only when faced with losing you that I had to act.”
His lips were intoxicating. She watched them as he spoke by starlight and wanted to be down there, kissing him passionately.
“Run away with me, Elizabeth. That dream gets no closer than this.”
She smiled as she turned from him. This plan was insane. It was rash. It was everything he had always been. The ideas of a man who had blurted out sweet things before he was sent away to school. A man who agreed to venture to Lortan for her.
“We cannot leave in the middle of the night, Gareth.”
“The stars will guide us.”
“I need more than stars. There must be time to think.”
He looked down at the black earth. “You do not want me.”
“It is not that. I have wanted to marry you since we were children, playing in the library.”
“Then why not now when it is right in front of us, a destiny waiting to be taken?”
“Because of my family. I have risked too much already with all our secret rendezvous. If anyone ever found out what kind of daughter my parents really have, there would be no end to the scandal it would cause. My father would be devastated.”
“Be sure of your answer. Soon, it may be too late.”
“It is too late now, my love.”
Elizabeth never knew what true despair would be like. A feeling as if a loved one had died and she would never get to be with that person again. That was what this was. A death of them. Their love was scattered like the dim light flickering from her father’s window. It took a moment for her to realize what that meant. The window opened, fast as lightning.