by Ali Olson
Then she began to cry.
His heart ached at her pain, even though he had not even a guess as to what prompted it. There was nothing to do but hold her close and comfort her as best he could. He petted her back and her hair, wishing he could do something to help. He kissed her cheek and nose softly without thought, simply wanting to comfort the woman he held so dear, and he waited for her to calm.
Her tears slowed, and she lifted her head to gaze up at him, the normally bright green tint of her eyes darker than he had ever seen them before. His heartbeat sped as he realized how close they were, felt his hands pressing against her back.
She kissed him lightly then, his lower lip sliding between both of hers for an instant, sending his blood rushing like fire through him. He tightened his grip on her and kissed back, tasting the salt of her tears on her lips, his need for her surging through him.
He wanted to go further, his hands ached to touch every inch of her. But he stopped himself and leaned away from her, creating distance between them. Before he lost complete control, they needed to talk. There were things he needed to know, and he hated to think he might be taking advantage of her troubled state.
She slumped forward and pressed her hands to her face, then rose and looked into his eyes, the fire in them piercing his heart. “Let’s go inside.”
He trailed her, watching the woman carefully. She had not resumed her normal façade, and he could not guess where all this was going to lead, but he was curious enough to follow and ask no questions. Without turning toward him as she walked into the sitting room, Alice asked, “Is Joe here?”
Had he heard, or just imagined, the hope in her question? “He’s staying with a friend tonight. There’s nobody here but us.”
“Not even a housekeeper?”
His heart thudded at the possible implications of his answer. “I had her go home early. I figured I could make do on my own.”
She nodded, her nearly-destroyed bun bouncing on her neck, and turned toward him. Her body dropped onto the sofa and slumped forward, an unladylike move that proved more than anything how tired she was, and she gestured to the space next to her. He sat next to her where she indicated, wondering what would happen.
Her voice was low and husky—most likely from the tears, but his stomach flipped with the possibility that it could be from arousal—as she began, “There is something I have told nobody around here, Thomas. But I want tell you. I need you to listen. Will you do that?”
She was so earnest, so sincere, so close to the breaking point, that he clasped her hand in his as he nodded.
Her cheeks flushed pink and she stated, her voice flat, “I’m married.”
After a shocked, frozen moment, Thomas slowly leaned back, staring at her as the information hit him. Of all the things she might have said, that was the most unexpected. He dropped her hand and laced his fingers together as he tried to process the information. She seemed so innocent, and here she was, already wed. To whom? His imaginings of marrying her began to crumble at his feet. He realized she was waiting for some response, so he tried to keep all emotion out of his voice as he said, “Go on.”
He waited for her to continue; he was afraid to say more until he’d heard the whole story.
“I grew up in a very wealthy family. When I was eighteen, I fell in love. He seemed so perfect, so sweet and gentle, that I thought we would be together forever. My family disapproved of Ben, so we eloped.”
The sorrow in her voice made his chest hurt. He wanted to comfort her, to say or do something to make it easier, but he forced himself to stay still and let her tell the story. She sighed, as if it was difficult to get out the next part. “Once we were married, though, everything changed. He was not who I thought he was. It took some time for me to realize that he had been after my money from the start.”
She paused and cleared her throat, then continued, “After two hellish months, he was in jail for cheating some businesses, and my money was gone. By that time, my parents had disowned me and I was too ashamed to go home.”
Her eyes, which had been focused on her lap, turned toward him, full of pain and an inner strength that shook him to his core. She seemed sad, but also lighter, as if just saying this aloud was almost enough to rid her of the weight of it all.
The silence grew, but he waited. Not because he was angry or without a response, but because he could see she had more to say. Finally, she continued. “I left town and became a teacher in order to survive. I enjoyed it more than I could have imagined and settled into my new life, happy, but the school board found out about the marriage and sent me away. That’s why I am out here, about as far from home as I could get. To keep my past from taking away the one thing I love—teaching.”
He had nothing to say. She had spoken in the calmest manner, but her pain was obvious. It hurt him to think of her with another man, of her lost to him, of the chance of them ending up together now gone. But his sympathy for the beautiful, dejected, broken woman overrode his own feelings. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, kissing her hair.
Another possibility came to him, lightening the weight that her situation had pressed on him. There was still hope. “What about divorce?” he asked.
She shook her head, her expression heartbreaking. “If I did anything like that, the town would find out about the marriage and I would lose my job. I cannot take the risk, even if it might not matter any longer.”
Thomas tilted his head, confused. “What do you mean?”
She took a deep breath and began again. “I have worked so hard to find a place where I could be happy, and now Mr. Wilson is going to try to force me out of my employment because I refuse to play his games. I shall have to start over again.”
He balked. “Who is Mr. Wilson? What happened?”
“He is the head of the school board. He walked into the schoolroom this afternoon and made… advances toward me. When he kissed me, I slapped him, and now he is going to do whatever it takes to run me out of town.”
She was so downtrodden, so despairing, that his heart ached for her. He had never imagined her giving up, and here she was, surrendering.
He said, “Is there something I can do to help?”
She put her hands on either side of his face and looked into his eyes, making his heart race and his body jump to attention. In a firm voice, she said, “I want you to make love to me.”
This day, this woman, were so shocking that he wondered for a moment if it might be in fact a dream. He froze at the unexpected statement. She blushed, but continued to face him. “If I have to leave, if that awful man kicks me out, a few hours here alone with you could hardly make the difference. Before I move on to a new town, I want to know what it’s like.”
“But you were married—“ he began before cutting himself off, realizing that there might be more to the story that she would be unwilling to share.
She shook her head. “He did many things to me that I would rather not discuss, and we had intercourse, but we never made love. I want that.”
His heart twisted with pain and pleasure. It was as if she was already saying goodbye. He brushed his knuckles along her cheek and slid his hand around her neck; she closed her eyes and her breath hitched deep in her chest.
If that was what she desired, he would give her everything she wanted and more.
As he closed in on her, she put out her hand, awkward for a moment. “There is one issue, though. I mustn’t—become pregnant, you see.”
He paused, then responded, feeling just as awkward. “I have French letters we can use.”
He didn’t want to explain how his sister, in a moment of whiskey-induced confidence the week before she left, explained how she had been worried about a pregnancy and had taken to using them, or how she then pressed a few into his hand, “lest the occasion arise.” He loved his sister, but whiskey had always been a dangerous drink for her.
He was now unexpectedly grateful for that conversation.
Alic
e didn’t want to ask where he had gotten French letters from or why he had them. This was not the time to think about things too much. In fact, she wanted to not think at all. She simply wanted to feel. Feel him pressed against her, feel free for once. Feel happy.
Warmth flowed through her body as the handsome man in front of her, the man who had starred in her fantasies more times than she would admit, pulled her close, trailing kisses along her jaw and down the side of her neck. She tilted her head, allowing him more access, which he took greedily. Her fingers clutched tightly to each other in her lap as she fought back a groan of delight at the sensation. She had been able to hide her anxiety when she made her request, but now it suddenly seemed all too real.
Maybe she should stop this now, before it went any further.
His teeth teased at her earlobe, nibbling it with the lightest touch, and sparks shot through her, warming a spot deep in her belly. He stood, reaching out his hand to help her. She took it and rose, ready for him to lead her to his room. Instead of escorting her, however, he swooped beneath her in one deft movement, and then she was in his arms, being carried toward the stairs. He kept his lips pressed to every inch of skin he could reach, nibbling, teasing, tasting.
As he bit lightly at a sensitive spot on her neck, she moaned, which made him focus more attention on the spot, sending waves of pleasure so strong that she was glad she was being carried because she doubted her legs would hold her.
He climbed the steps slowly, holding her close. She had never felt so much in another person’s power since she was married to Ben, but this was so very different. She trusted Thomas, knew he would keep her safe.
As they reached the landing and the space between them and his bedroom shortened, the desires she had kept hidden inside for so long hit her fully. She shifted in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck and taking his mouth with hers, allowing her tongue to explore him with an intensity that made his breath catch in his throat.
His feet stopped moving as she melded her body against his chest. After several seconds, she pulled away a little, embarrassed at her loss of control. He looked at her, his eyes dark with hunger. He opened his mouth and breathed, “Wow.”
Just that one word was enough to make her heart dance. She had known he was attracted to her, but his reaction said so much more than she had imagined. She leaned in, kissing him again, and he started moving again, closing the distance between them and the room with such speed that she had to smile. “In a rush, are we?” she asked against his lips.
In a voice so husky it was nearly a groan, he responded, “Oh, don’t worry, I plan to take my time if I can help it, no matter how irresistible you are.”
Alice chuckled, her stomach alive with excitement and nerves. Once in the room, he set her down on her feet, which were shaky but managed to hold her weight. She was unsure what to do now that they were here, but she didn’t have to wait long for direction. Thomas pressed his body to hers as he leaned in for another deep kiss, his tongue playing along her teeth and making her heady with delight. She could feel his body hard against hers, his manhood pressing against her hip in a way that made her dizzy with want.
A low, animal sound of desire escaped him as she shifted her body against him, and she gasped as his hands moved from her back to her waist and along her sides up to her breasts. He straightened up and looked down at her clothing, his fingers splayed on the coarse fabric of her dress. “I’ll work on this dress,” he told her, “while you take down your hair.”
She felt an uncontrollable urgency as her hands reached up to her hair, freeing it from the pins that always held it in such a tight, proper knot. Before he had gotten more than a few buttons undone, her auburn tresses were cascading onto her shoulders, rippling down her back. He stopped at his task and looked at her long hair, twining some of it through his fingers appreciatively.
She beamed at him, enjoying the worship in his eyes, and he smiled back. “Do you realize how beautiful you are?” he asked, and she blushed with happiness as his fingers returned to the buttons of her dress.
In short order, the cloth hung loosely on her body, and he moved it aside to kiss her collarbone as he worked on relieving her of her corset and camisole. As his fingers brushed the bare skin above her nearly-exposed breasts, she felt a surge of desire run through her, hardening her nipples into tiny peaks under the last of the fabric. She was glad her buttons ran along the front of her dress instead of the back, giving him access to her body more quickly. Being without a maid had never seemed so fortuitous.
Before he had completely unclothed her, Thomas bent his mouth to her chest. Through the light film of her camisole, he sucked at one breast, then the other, until she was so weak from his ministrations that she could no longer stand it. Yet still, he gave her more. She felt a tear slide down her cheek, and she didn’t know if it was because she felt so good for the first time, or because she would only have this one moment with him.
After what felt like ages, he finally divested her of her clothes; she stood before him completely nude. He shook his head, one cheek quirked up in an expression she didn’t quite understand, and for a second she felt embarrassed. Then he cupped his palm against her cheek and said, “I have no idea what I have done to be so lucky as to have you with me here, now, but I want more than anything to take advantage of it. If I ever go too far, you tell me to stop.”
Her voice had left her, so she nodded. In a flash, his vest and shirt and undershirt were gone, leaving him naked to the torso. The muscles of his chest took her breath away. She reached out and rubbed her palms across his strong stomach, fingering the light dusting of hair that led down to his trousers. The muscles under his skin quivered at her touch.
He spoke, his voice gruff, his teeth gritted in an attempt to control his desire. “Alice, you keep touching me like that and I won’t be able to stop myself.”
She smiled and moved in closer, her hands pressing against his skin as they explored the unclothed areas of his body, enjoying the carnal torture. His trousers were tented in the front, and it sent a thrill through her to know how much he was aroused by her. She took another step toward him, taking in the musky smell of him, the pressure of him against her body. He was so masculine it took her breath away, and she wanted to see all of him, experience everything, if just this once.
Before she could move away to finish undressing him, she felt her feet leave the ground once more. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her to his body, lifting her in a hug high enough to ravage her neck once again with his mouth. He took a few steps, and the backs of her legs pressed against his bed.
She thought it strange how happy she was. After all that had happened that day, all the anxiety over her ruined marriage and her attraction to Thomas that had plagued her, she felt at peace for the first time in years. She let him press her back against the bed, enjoying each and every moment with him.
Thomas’s heavenly body loomed above her, still partly clothed, as his tongue slid down her body, lower and lower, sending her to dizzying heights she had never before experienced. As he caressed and massaged and licked every inch of her, kissing her everywhere, she felt the pressure inside building until it seemed she could take no more ecstasy. Then he claimed her, giving her the most intimate of kisses, and waves of pleasure broke over her. She trembled and cried out with the joy of it, more tears streaming from her eyes.
When she could think again, she opened her eyes and saw Thomas standing beside the bed. Watching her, still half-clothed, though his trousers made it very clear that he was no less aroused than before. She sat up, her body still shaking with sensation, and began to unbutton his pants. Without either of them saying a word, he shed the last of his clothing, sheathed himself, and moved onto the bed with her.
Alice soaked in his lengthy, strong body with her eyes. She was ready to make love to him, wanted it so badly she could think of nothing else beyond them and this moment together. Their lips met again, a deep lingering kiss,
as he pressed her down with his body and slowly, agonizingly, buried himself in her. She cried out in bliss, and their bodies entwined. This was what she had craved, what she had hoped for as a young woman and never gotten. This was what a marriage should be.
As the pace increased, she could feel herself reaching the brink for the second time, but this time, as she went over the edge into bliss, she took him with her.
***
Alice looked at the square of darkening sky she could see through the window; it was nearing evening, and she would need to leave soon if she wanted to keep any semblance of respectability. Instead, she rested her head on Thomas’s warm chest and listened to his heartbeat, tightening her arm around him. She was happy, and felt no inclination to leave.
And did she truly need to, after all? For all she knew, her job had disappeared, dust in the wind, with no hope of recovery, so what did it matter if she stayed the entire night?
She sighed, knowing she was lying to herself. As much as she wanted to stay, it was time to go back. Even if the loss of her position with the school was all but confirmed, she had to at least try to reclaim it or she would never forgive herself. Thomas was important to her, far more important than any man she had ever met, but her students were important, too, and she couldn’t abandon them without at least attempting to stop it.
She tilted her head until she could see Thomas’s eyes, which had been looking at her for who knew how long. She grimaced. “I have to go.”
His lips quirked into a half-smile, an expression that sent shivers through her. “I was expecting you to say that. But do you? Why not stay?”
“I have to try to get my position at the school back. If I stay here for the night, that option will be gone forever.”
“Then let it go. We can go back to my farm in Missouri once we marry and you can take students at our home or something. Or not. You can do what you like.”