by Ashley Jade
In the distance, I see Ricardo doing the same thing to Lou-Lou; only he's shouting, “Give me your fucking keys,” in a dark tone that makes me incredibly nervous for her.
Then I have that moment, that moment where I say to myself— 'Fuck this shit.'
I'm not letting him manhandle me. He's not taking me out of this parking garage without a fight.
I start kicking my legs and twisting as hard as I can against him. I even go as far as to bite his hand which causes him to curse.
Then I go limp and will my body to become a ferret. This way, I'll be able to slinky myself right out of his hold.
He seems to sense what I'm doing because he gives me a sinister laugh and says, “Nice try, Damsel.”
The fact that he's using that name with me again makes me so mad I lift my head and spit in his face.
That's when he lifts me up and puts me right over his shoulder.
“Why don't we save the exchange of bodily fluids for after we get home, baby?”
I grunt and smack my hand against his back. “I'm not going to your apartment, Jackson,” I scream. “I know who's fight club you work at. I know how you betrayed me.” I kick him. “And most of all, I already know that you're either going to kill me yourself or you're handing me right over to DeLuca himself to do it.”
At this, he stops moving entirely. “Jesus Christ, you're crazy. You know that!” he roars.
“Tell me, Jackson. How much are you getting paid to be his lackey? To do his dirty work for him?”
Then I give him a sinister laugh of my own. “You really had me going with that whole Lilly story. How long did it take you to come up with that? Hell, there probably is no Lilly, is there?”
His entire body starts shaking and his hold on me tightens, but I keep going. “Or maybe there was. Who knows? Maybe she was a disgruntled ex-girlfriend of yours? Maybe you were the one who really killed her. Tell me, Jackson. Where did you bury Lilly's body right after you murdered her, huh!”
“Shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you're talking about!” he screams so loud I jump.
He opens the door to the mustang and throws me in the passenger seat. The vein in his neck is bulging and there's sweat pouring down his face. I've never seen him this upset before, not even in the cage.
I open my mouth again, but he opens the dashboard and pulls out a roll of duct tape. Then he slams it across my mouth.
I roll my eyes and proceed to peel it off but then he forces the seat all the way back, crawls on top of me and before I know it, both my wrists are being bound behind my back with the duct tape.
This action only further confirms my suspicions regarding his intentions with me.
I kick my feet up and try to kick out the windshield. He sighs and says, “Please, sit still. I know you know about my involvement with DeLuca. But there are some things that you don't know and I would like to explain them to you. Will you let me do that?”
I ignore him and kick the windshield again, until his hand slams down on my thigh and he gets close to my face. “I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to kill you. But I swear on all that is holy, if you don't cut this shit out, I will throw your ass in the goddamned trunk, Alyssa.”
At this, I finally stop kicking and relax in my seat.
He starts the car but points a finger at me. “I'm warning you right now, do not try and do something that will run us off the road.”
I want to tell him that since it's New York City, there really would be no point. At most, we'll be going 20 miles per hour before he has to slam on the breaks again. He should worry much more about me making a run for it during one of those stops.
Provided I ever get this duct tape off that is.
He starts driving in the direction of his apartment complex, which throws me for a loop. Doesn't he know that Momma could walk in at any time? Last time I checked, it's bad to have a witness when you commit a murder. It's just one more loose end that you'll be forced to take care of.
Oh god. Would Jackson actually kill Momma?
When we reach his apartment, he pulls in the back and parks in a hidden spot I've never seen before.
All I can think is. This is where he's going to do it.
But to my surprise, he gets out of the car and opens my door. My eyes dart around contemplating where I can run to, but he anticipates this because he picks me up and it's back over his shoulder I go.
On the bright side, at least the surveillance footage will catch him carrying me into his apartment building like this.
My murder will be solved. I'll get my lifetime wish and be headlining the 6'o'clock news after all.
I lift my head as we begin walking and spot Lou-Lou's car parked across the street. Since her windows are tinted, I can't see them...but I definitely hear all sorts of shouting.
The door to the complex shuts behind us and Jackson begins making his way up the staircase.
When we get inside his apartment he heads for the kitchen and sits me on a stool by the counter.
He cracks his knuckles and rolls his neck. I can't help but stare at him, that is totally a mob guy move. He notices my face and pinches the bridge of his nose before reaching for the tape across my mouth and tearing it off.
I don't waste the opportunity, I start screaming my head off. Mariah Carey has nothing on my vocal chords right now.
Jackson grunts and covers my mouth with tape again. “Fine, I guess I'll go first,” he says. “First of all, I love you—despite how batshit crazy you're acting right now. Secondly, I would never hurt you or kill you. It kills me that you would ever think that. And lastly, yes I do technically work for DeLuca, but it's not because I want to...got it?”
I shrug because I'm not really sure what he means by that. New York is an 'at will' state, if you don't want to work for someone you don't. Not that the mob really adheres to bylaws and regulations, but still. If Jackson didn't want to work for him, he wouldn't. Besides, why would DeLuca want to keep an employee on the payroll that didn't even want to work for him in the first place? That's just bad business.
Unless DeLuca is holding something over his head? But what the hell could DeLuca use for leverage?
Jackson begins pacing the floors. “Every single thing I told you about me is the truth, Alyssa. I know a small part of you has to know that. I mean, I put it all on video tape for you for crying out loud. You think I would confess to a murder that I didn't commit?”
He has a point, I guess.
I shake my head and he walks back over to me and removes the tape. “Don't scream. Just let me explain. Okay?”
I nod my head because maybe things aren't what they seem after all.
Chapter 35 (Jackson)
I've thought about having Alyssa bound and gagged quite a lot since I first met her.
I just never thought I'd be partaking in it to get her to stop screaming such god awful, vile things to me in the middle of a parking garage.
And the fact that she actually thinks I would hurt her? Or worse, kill her?
I just don't have the words to express what that does to me.
I wanted to bash my own head through a wall right after I saw what Ricardo and I did to her when she jumped in the middle of our fight. I've never felt like such an asshole but I didn't even see her. Hell, I didn't even know she was standing in the room because I was too worked up about Ricardo and his possible involvement.
And of course, the fact that my best friend was in the middle of surgery and the doctors had just told us there was a chance he wouldn't make it.
Then that shit happened.
Then she looked at me the way she did.
I figured she just needed space because of what happened but when I came back, she was different.
I saw her talking with Shelby and then she just collapsed.
I thought she was having a reoccurring symptom due to still being sick. Then she walked over to Lou-Lou and held her hand. Fucking Lou-Lou, the girl she basically hates. She'd rather hold her
hand than mine while I'm going through all this shit.
I knew something wasn't right.
And when she gave me a different look, a look that could have killed me dead right where I stood and threatened to have me hauled off to jail over an accident...I knew I was fucked.
I knew that somehow...she had figured out the truth.
Then I heard the news about Tyrone and although I'm beyond relieved that he's alive...I know that when he wakes up and processes everything, he's going to be inconsolable. I'm inconsolable for him but I'll be there for him and whatever he needs.
The last thing I wanted to do was have it out with Alyssa, I wanted to stay by my best friend's side. Momma told me to go and said he'd probably be out of it until sometime tomorrow, but I still wanted to stay.
Then Alyssa mentioned going back to her own apartment and I knew this shit had to be dealt with tonight. She wasn't cutting me any kind of slack and I sure as hell wasn't losing her without a fight.
However, when she said those things to me in the parking garage? Spewing such hurtful things, things like I was the one who killed Lilly and she wanted to know where I buried her body. That was the closest I'd ever come to wanting to hit a female.
I settled for throwing her in the passenger seat and covering her vicious mouth with duct tape, instead.
Since she had no choice but to remain silent throughout the drive, I took the opportunity to put myself in her place.
That only made me feel like a shithead. Of course, she would think I was setting her up, regardless of the fact that she was the one who walked into his club. The fact is, DeLuca's been the metaphorical boogie man to her ever since she was a child. She knows first-hand what he's capable of.
No wonder she didn't push further after I said it wasn't his club. She completely dropped it and never asked me again. A part of me thinks that she didn't want it to be his club, because he scares the absolute shit out of her, with good reason. I can't help but think that if she knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was his club, then a big part of her would feel like she'd have no choice but to avenge her father's death...even if it ended up in her murder.
Which let's face it...it most definitely would.
That's one hell of a demand to put on yourself, especially after going through everything that she already has. Not to mention Ford's own method of brainwashing that he did.
She was probably relieved when I told her that DeLuca wasn't the owner. Grateful that she had a few more minutes on the clock before her time was up.
Putting myself in her place puts it into perspective for me.
She's still trembling and I wish that I could hold her, but I know she needs to hear about my involvement with DeLuca before she'll let that happen.
If she'll ever let that happen.
“Everything I told you about Lilly is the truth. With the exception of me getting off on self-defense.” She looks confused so I continue, “I was going down for both Mike and Lilly's murder,” I say as her eyes open wide.
Maybe now she'll realize how much those things she said hurt me. “I didn't kill Lilly, Alyssa.”
“I know,” she whispers. “I know that now. I just don't know why you would lie to me, Jackson. I loved you. I trusted you. Why would you set me up?”
Her voice is so small and broken my chest squeezes.
“I'm not setting you up, baby. I would never do that to you.”
“Tell me why you're working for him then.Tell me why you're continuing to work for him after you know what he did to me.”
“Because he's the reason I'm out of jail.”
“How?”
“He was my deliverance. He paid off the judge, planted evidence to ensure that I'd walk, and hired the best defense attorney on the East Coast. Hell, DeLuca did such a good job it didn't even make it to trial.”
“What was the catch?”
“The catch is that I figured out that the devil doesn't offer you deal's, Alyssa. He only offers you an arrangement with a steep pay off. And he prefers his payment in blood.”
She looks down and shivers. “Well, you know what they say—the devil was once an angel.”
“I don't think this one ever was.”
“What arrangement did you make with him?”
Time to tell her everything.
“Ten years in his underground fight club. Which is a load of bull if you ask me, because I've seen law enforcement officials there before. Hell, they place some of the highest bets. Anyway, the terms were one fight every two weeks, to ensure I could recover from any potential injuries.”
I grab a stool to sit down on. “I'd be appointed a coach to ensure I never skipped town and to keep me on a leash.”
“Ricardo,” she whispers.
I nod. “Yup. I'd also have to win at least 99% of my fights.”
Her mouth hangs open. “That's impossible. No one's that good.”
“You are if it's your life on the line.”
“You can't be that good for 10 years straight Jackson! Your body will start to deteriorate, it will break down from all the constant wear and tear. There's no way you can stay number one for 10 years straight. I've seen the guys you're up against, they're nothing but freak shows on steroids ”
Her lower lip trembles and I can see the tears in her eyes. “Oh, god. DeLuca knows this. He knows that you'll most likely die in the cage before your contract is up. Hell, he'll probably make sure that it happens.”
“Yeah, that's pretty much what happens. The only one who's ever made it through his 10 years alive is Ricardo. The reason Tyrone and I are the best right now is because there's no one else to compare us to. For the most part, guys usually die in the cage around the first year. If he senses you're weak, then he matches you up with an opponent he knows you can't take. If you prove to be worthy, well, then you usually get the honor of dying in the cage around the 7th or 8th year. DeLuca likes to up the stakes by then. Trust me, it's some real fucked up shit.”
I look up to the ceiling because I can't look at her when I say this. “And by your 7th or 8th year, it's probably bittersweet because you're so close to being out. You can taste it. But, at the same time, the mentality of being nothing but a machine has gotten to you, so unless you have something on the outside that grounds you, something to go back to...there's really no point in fighting anymore. Sometimes I think the guys don't make it because they just give up. They get tired of feeling the pain that fuels them to survive. I know I am.”
“Lilly's murder is how you survive, isn't it? That's the source of all your pain.”
“I have to relive every second of it every time I'm in that cage. It's the only way.”
I want to tell her that she was the one who grounded me, who made it better for me, and that she was my something to look forward to, but there's something more important that she needs to hear.
“I wanted to protect you, that's why I didn't tell you about DeLuca. I tried to let you go a few times, but I couldn't do it. I need you like I need my pain to win my fights.”
“What are we gonna do, Jackson?” A single tear falls down her cheek. “How do we make it through this?”
I don't answer her, instead, I tear the tape off her wrists and hold her in my arms. She buries her face into my chest and sobs her heart out.
“I agree with Ricardo. Don't go after DeLuca. It's too risky and you'll end up dead. We'll have to find another way. There has to be another way. I can't and I won't lose another man that I love to him.”
I stay silent because there is another way; the only way to stop him. I could care less about my own life, but I'm not letting him take hers.
She tilts her head up and I don't even hesitate to crush her mouth against mine.
There are so many emotions filtering the energy running through us, there's only one way to exert it right now.
I lift her up, place her on the counter and she wraps her legs around my waist. I wish I could be more gentle with her given the fact that I know she's proba
bly feeling sore from what happened earlier, but when she sits up, takes off my shirt and scratches her nails down my back, I lose my composure.
I suck and bite on that plump bottom lip of hers, groaning when I taste the hint of copper because it reminds me that she's alive, that she’s safe, and that she’s here with me.
I make quick work of unbuttoning of her jeans and pulling them off. Her panties are next and I shred the delicate lace like it's paper while she lifts her t-shirt over her head.
The both of us are so worked up there's no need for foreplay, my own jeans fall at my feet and I'm entering her in a single thrust, pumping into her slickness like it's my salvation, because I know she is.
She falls back and I position her legs on my shoulders so I can get even deeper inside her. I'm so lost in her essence, there are no words. The only sounds are the moans of pleasure and the sounds of our frantic, hot-blooded bodies coming together.
After a moment, she begins to spasm and cries out my name like a lifeline. Her pussy grips me so hard it almost hurts as her come drips down my balls. Before I can stop myself, I'm quickly following her into the pits of euphoria and purging my own release deep inside of her.
I fall on top of her, loving the feeling of her body underneath me, where I can shelter her and see the rise and fall of her chest with every breath she takes.
She kisses me and it's clear that what just happened didn't diminish her feelings, if anything; it only charged them. She pushes her pelvis into mine, purposely enticing me into another round. Her tongue darts out and drags across her bottom lip slowly when she feels my cock twitch against her center. Since she's the puppet master of not only my heartstrings, but my desire—I'm rock hard and inside her again.
I flip her around so that I'm entering her from behind and watching that gorgeous ass of hers shake with my every thrust. I lean down and sink my teeth into her shoulder.
She looks over her shoulder and bites her lip. And fuck me, it's the hottest visual I've ever seen.
I don't have to worry about DeLuca killing me, because she's going to.
She moans and I start thrusting harder. The feeling is incredible and I know I won't be able to hold off much longer.