“Setsuna-san.”
I feel his arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“You’re so unfair.”
“I know you still love me.”
Why do I still love him? I wish I didn’t. Crying into his chest is nostalgic. He’s been there for me during some really hard times. And before I met him, the idea of him got me through some hard times.
He tilts my head to him and wipes my tears with the swipe of his thumb.
“For a while I wanted to give you away and let you be free. I knew Kira made a move on you. I always thought he was more fitting.”
“I don’t want Kira-kun!”
That attempt at jealously just blew up in my face. Kira-kun just got the wrong idea.
“I slept with other women cause I was lonely. Those women didn’t admire me or look at me with such big eyes.”
“You let me down.”
“I know. Will you give me another chance? Will you still marry me?”
Even after what he did I know the answer. I nod to him and he hugs me. He grazes my neck and I take hold of my bandage. It still stings a little. He tries to get a closer look and I turn away.
“Since we’re being honest,” he starts. “Tell me who put all those cuts on your body.”
He doesn’t believe my suicide attempt. I turn away from him. It’s all supposed to be a secret. I don’t want Kyoya-sama worrying about my parent’s murderer on the loose. And also…I was hoping to meet with him again to find out why he saved me.
“It was me,” I say to him.
“You really tried to kill yourself?”
“Yes. As soon as I was left alone I did it. I…I never thought I would see you again. That’s why I did it.”
If he sees my face he’ll know I’m lying. I dive back into his chest again.
“Don’t worry,” he says to me. “I won’t leave you alone again.”
Chapter 53: Kantarou
How can I enjoy an event like this? So many people are in the palace for this party. The main level was sealed off but I have a guard in every hallway and stairwell to make sure no one strays. There’s got to be somewhere I missed.
“It’s obvious what you’re doing,” Yumiko-san says behind me.
“I thought I told you to examine the buffet.”
“I already ate.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
There’s people here from all our allied countries. Our prime minister is at the bar and the Morinaga general is mingling. I stand behind the stage watching it all.
“It’s obvious you’re trying to distract yourself,” she says to me.
Kira and Setsuna-san sit on stage. He’s ogling her and she’s smiling despite it. She’s never been around so many people before.
“Go back to the buffet,” I tell her.
“Did you pick someone yet?”
I rather not think about it.
“That’s not your concern.”
“It’s Chiyo-san, isn’t it?”
It is. Chiyo-san is the quietest person I’ve met with. But all those meetings were secret. She must be spying on me. Speaking of Chiyo-san, I should greet her. When my eyes spot her Yumiko-san slaps my arm.
“Don’t be immature. You’re not seventeen anymore,” I tell her.
I look back at her and her face is contorted trying to fight off tears. Now isn’t the time for this.
“You can’t have both of us,” she says to me. “If you announce your marriage to her then I’m leaving tonight.”
“I told you, you can’t.”
“You can’t have both of us! Get that through your thick head.”
She storms off. I’ve grown to like Yumiko-san. I’ve even grown to like her emotional ways. She gets me but she can’t be with me. If I wasn’t the crown prince it would be different. Since she’s not a royal she has no concept of what duty is. If she understood my duty, she would get me a bit more.
I see no reason why she can’t continue to be my plaything. This marriage is just a business deal. I step down to the people and make my way to Chiyo-san.
She’s a smart quiet girl. Twenty-five and just finished her masters in sociology. Her humanitarian side will compliment me well. She can do all my community outreach for me. It’s a good choice. And she’s good looking so she’ll make me a really pretty daughter and maybe some sons.
“Kantarou-sama,” she says as I approach.
“Thank you for coming to the birthday celebration.”
“Thank you for inviting me. It’s my first time seeing the princess. She’s really something.”
“That she is. You received a call yesterday about the proceedings?”
“Yes, I am very happy you picked me.”
It will be final once I announce it. She’s acceptable but I don’t like having things set in stone. What if she’s a bitch? I won’t be able to change my mind. I haven’t seen every side to her. But what’s it matter. It’s just for show.
“Don’t speak about it,” I say to her. “I’ll make the announcement when I am ready.”
“I look forward to spending more time with you once it’s announced.”
“Do yourself a favor and keep this professional.”
I need a drink. I grab a glass from the waiter and make my way back to the stage. This is as good a seat as any.
“Thank you for guarding the party,” the princess says as I sit next to her.
“Of course.”
“You don’t look so good.”
She lowers the drink from my face. She should save all that concern for her own husband. I haven’t seen him make an appearance yet.
“I think I broke your cousin’s heart,” I tell her.
“You already broke it. But you made a promise to me.”
“I want to keep it but-”
“But you can’t have both.”
“What makes you think I want her?”
“Cause…”
She lowers her head and starts playing with her fingers. Out with it.
“I think you would be good for her. You make her feel more important and confident. And if you two are together, we would be even more like family.”
“I’ll be your family no matter what. But things are not going to work out between me and your cousin. You have to let that promise go.”
“I would if you really wanted me to. You want an excuse that will allow you to keep her close.”
How does Kyoya put up with all her perceptive skills.
“Maybe I do,” I admit to her. “Your love and your duty happen to be the same thing. We all can’t be that lucky.”
“Can you stop boring her,” Kira says stretching over her. “I swear you’re becoming like my big sister.”
“Don’t mind him,” she says pushing him away. “He snuck some wine.”
“Kantarou whines too much,” he says laughing.
I’d slap him if we weren’t in public.
“Take some advice from me for once. Do whatever the hell you want. That’s what you use to do. I liked that about you.”
“Kira-kun, you’re causing a scene.”
“Sorry, dear. A kiss would shut me up.”
“Princess, why don’t you go tidy up since you lost your appetite.”
He has his eyes closed with his lips puckered. She gets up quietly and I take her seat.
“Remember what we use to do at boring dinners,” I tell him.
I grab his hand and pull his finger back. He mouths a scream and straightens up.
“Okay, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t disrespect her again,” I warn him.
“We have a thing.”
“There is no “thing” between you and the princess. There are a lot of girls that came here just to get a look at you. Why not try to bed one of them.”
“You encouraged me to be with her remember?”
“But if she doesn’t want you, back off. She wants to see you as family. She’s trying to replace what she had.
Don’t push her.”
“Whatever.”
He goes back to sipping his cup. So much growing up to do. I’ll have to make a call to make sure he has a tough time when he gets back to the academy.
“Thinking about girls can make you go crazy, right?” he asks me. “The ones that just take off their clothes make it fun but the ones you care about are hard to handle.”
I’m surprised how he understands it. It’s exactly how I feel.
“What do you know about the girls that take off their clothes?” I ask.
“You didn’t warn me they would be fighting to get a piece of me. But still….I like Setsuna-san.”
“Give it up.”
“Show me how and I might try.”
I’m asking him to play by the rules and I won’t. Since when have I cared about people’s feelings and expectations. I don’t play by the rules. If I want a queen to do my public service and a woman to entertain me then I’ll have both. Fuck the rules.
“You’ll give up on Setsuna-san because she’s a nice girl.”
I scan the crowd and see Yumiko-san prowling the buffet. She’s eating slowing while checking all the guests. I’ll make her come around.
I keep thinking why I want to hold onto her so much. Never knew who she was prior to that first meeting. Waiting to see Kyoya’s bride I looked across the table and saw this beautiful woman. Our eyes met and she stared shocked; couldn’t believe I didn’t take my eyes off of her. She seemed so funny to me and out of my world.
Being crown prince I was always molded to be a king. And as a king, my enemies will threaten the things I love. I took charge of my family’s safety myself. They were all I could care about. From talking to Yumiko-san I started to care about her too. I don’t want her to leave.
I always get what I want. This is no exception. Kira takes after me in a lot of ways. Hopefully he knows how to be selective when imitating me.
Chapter 54: Setsuna
It’s such a fun party so far. People are smiling at me and I get to look them in the face for the first time. A lot of Morinaga’s big leaders came just to apologize to me about what happened at the funeral. But there are also people asking about my future husband. He’s yet to show himself today.
I step outside the birthday room and go into one of the closed off hallways. The guards take notice of me and let me pass. With the birthday hall in the distance I can still hear the laughter. My parents never gave me a birthday party. They would acknowledge my increase in age but wouldn’t make a big deal about it; they wanted to continue hiding my existence.
The Niwa family is so loving. I never knew family could be like that.
I stop at an open door to the courtyard. No one is supposed to be this far away from the birthday hall. Kantarou-sama told us all to stay alert. I peek out and the familiar smell of cigarettes comes to me. So he’s been here this whole time. Kyoya-sama only smokes when he’s stressed. He’s been stressed a lot lately.
I wish things could become normal for us again. I really am happy he’s here. But thinking about him with someone else makes me feel like I don’t belong near him anymore. Since he told me about his unfaithfulness I’ve been avoiding him. Is it alright to love him still?
He breathes out heavily and I grip the doorway. The training I had didn’t include any of this. Mother’s lessons mentioned nothing about how to deal with a lack of trust.
“Can I have a light?”
Someone else is there! I grip the doorway harder. Where did that woman come from? She sits down next to him on the step a few feet from me. Can’t judge what he’s thinking by staring at his back.
“Smoking isn’t an attractive habit,” he says to her.
“That hasn’t stopped you from looking good.”
He looks towards her and hands over his lighter.
“You don’t recognize me?” she asks.
“I do. You’re a reporter on the evening news”
“So how come you’re not star struck?”
“I hate reporters.”
Is there some kind code I can’t break? Every woman that’s near him is a potential affair. Their words sound normal but what if there’s something underneath it all.
“So let me ask you-”
“Don’t,” he silences her.
“Just a quick question-”
“Nope.”
“Are you really going to marry the princess?” she asks in a rush.
I listen closely for his answer. He puts out his cigarette and stops completely. I wanna know what he has to say.
“Stop fishing for a story,” he tells her.
“Are you saying you don’t plan on marrying her? Or perhaps you’ll marry her to take the title and-”
“Say whatever you want about me but leave the princess out of it.”
“I see-”
“And also, relinquish that recording device to the guard that will be escorting you back to the party.”
He’s good. Kyoya-sama has always been very astute. Oh! He’s getting up. I back away from the door and start running down the hall.
Hearing the door close I run faster and duck into the nearest room. Not ready to talk to him just yet. He was alone with a pretty woman and had no interest in her; it’s somewhat reassuring.
What room is this anyway?
“Did you need me so urgently that you had to barge in here?”
“Captain Saki!”
I haven’t seen him since the night we left the palace. He turns around from the toilet zipping up. Still so comfortable around me. I had no idea this was the men’s room.
“I haven’t seen you since the night we left the palace,” I say to him.
“Not my best night.”
He hasn’t looked at me since I walked in. He stays at the sink washing his hands. I know he got in trouble. Maybe he hates me for it.
“We shouldn’t stay in here,” he says.
“No, we can’t leave just yet. He might still be out there.”
“Who you hiding from now?”
“…Kyoya-sama.”
He opens the door and looks out. Something is definitely odd with him. He’s normally happy to talk to me and engage me. While I’ve been avoiding Kyoya-sama, maybe Captain Saki has been avoiding me.
He opens the door and waves me to follow.
“I’ll escort you back to the party,” he says dryly.
“Wait, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
I tug on his sleeve but he still won’t look at me. He really doesn’t like me anymore.
“I’m sorry if I got you in trouble. Has the king been too hard on you?”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
I tug on his sleeve again and no response. I didn’t even realize I lost a friend. My hand drops from him and he walks on. He doesn’t care about me anymore.
“I-I’m sorry,” I call to him. “I really am sorry. I’ve been selfish to you and-”
He quickly turns back to look at me. I don’t want to lose a friend. There’s not a lot of people I can count on; he’s always been good to me. But these stupid cuts and that stupid man that came and gave them to me make it seem like the captain isn’t good enough.
He stares down at me seeing me close to tears.
“You would really cry for me, princess? I’ve wronged you in so many ways.”
“No, you haven’t. I just want you to keep being my bodyguard and my friend.”
He slowly steps closer to me. I raise my head to look up at him. Whatever he says, I’ll take it. If he doesn’t want to be around me anymore, I’ll respect his decision.
“Even if you can’t see me, I’m always watching to make sure you’re safe.”
“But we don’t even talk anymore.”
“You have Kyoya-sama for that,” he says.
“You’re my friend in your own right. And last year on my birthday you stayed with me the whole day. Now-”
He plants his hand on my shoulder.
; “Happy Birthday, Setsuna-san.”
He leans down and kisses my cheek. My face gets warmer. He stays close to me inches from my face. Can he hear my heart beating faster?
“If you want me near you, I won’t let anyone take me away,” he whispers.
“Am I interrupting?”
“Kyoya-sama!”
I quickly push the captain away. Kyoya-sama steps down the hall. Each step makes me scared. Has he been spying like I do with him.
“You two are so close,” he says to us. “It’s to be expected, I guess.”
“I was just leaving,” Captain Saki says.
“No,” I say to him. “You don’t have to go.”
“Kyoya-sama can escort you back to the party. You don’t need me.”
He’s shying away cause Kyoya-sama is here. I look back and forth. This must be a part of his punishment. I grab the captain’s sleeve to keep him from leaving.
“Have you been mean to him?” I ask.
“What?”
“Captain Saki is our friend. What happened wasn’t his fault.”
“I get that you’re fond of him but I left him near you cause I was away. Now that I am back, he knows to go back to his other duties. I don’t blame him for what happened. You told me that was all your doing.”
“Well…what if I don’t want him to go back to his other duties,” I tell him.
“He won’t grow as a captain unless he does.”
I guess that’s true. He will never be promoted just being my bodyguard. It’s selfish of me to keep him near me cause I like him and trust him. But does that mean I won’t get to see him again?
I look back at Captain Saki and he stares down at me.
“Kyoya-sama always knows best,” he tells me.
I know he’s right. I drop my hand from him. I have to believe in what the captain told me earlier. “If you want me near you, I won’t let anyone take me away.” Yes, I will believe him.
Kyoya-sama comes to me and takes my hand. He turns me away as Captain Saki walks off.
“I didn’t think you two would hit it off. You had so many worries about him before.”
“I should head back to the party.”
His grip tightens.
“Why have you been avoiding me? I thought you would want to spend time together.”
The Last Princess Page 19