“You know I’ve never really talked to you before,” she says to me. “You’re pretty cool when you’re not being creepy.”
“Don’t think you know me cause I’m nice to you.”
We keep walking and it turns residential. Time to call for a ride. Enough time has passed for those two to argue and hate each other.
“Wait, look there,” she says to me.
“What is it?”
She stops and holds my arm. I see it; I should have seen it first. A man pokes his head from and alley way. Seeing us stopped he ducks back in.
“He was in the diner,” she says to me.
It can’t be a coincidence that he’s here looking suspicious. I grab my gun and point it at him. When he peeks back out he raises his hands high above his head.
“Come with me,” I tell her.
We approach him and I see him shiver in the spring heat. He’s just a punk; some nerd type. Looks harmless but can’t be too sure. I put the gun to his head and he whimpers.
“Yamamoto-san,” he cries.
“Stop,” she says to me.
I move away and he stands straight staring at her. They look about the same age.
“Do I know you?” she asks.
“W-we went to school together.”
“High school?”
He nods.
“I-I just wanted to say you were great in your interview. Y-you’ve always been a princess. If…if the prince can’t see it then you don’t need him.”
I wish I could walk away from this. I turn my back to them. This must be the best day of his life since she’s looking at him. I bet he likes her. I can relate to his nervousness. When Setsuna-san smiles at me I lose all composure; I forget what I’m about to say. I use to watch her from afar too. It was fine to be close to her but I watched from afar so I could see what she’s like when she’s not on, when she’s not happy.
“Thank you for your kind words,” she says to him.
“We have to go,” I interrupt her.
“I’m applying to the palace guard,” he tells her. “I’m gonna make sure what happened doesn’t happen again.”
He really thinks he can stop it. To him it doesn’t matter. He’s just saying he wants to protect her. I look back at them; he seems like the type to get strong just to protect her.
“I hope you make it-”
“Hisoka. My name is Hisoka Ui.”
“I’ll remember that. I hope you make it Hisoka-kun.”
“Now, Yumiko-san,” I say back to her.
So distracted that she’s getting attention. She’ll need a bodyguard of her own soon enough. We start walking away and she stays smiling.
“I really think my head is clear. Thank you captain,” she says to me.
“I don’t care.”
“The feeling is nice. I hope you can experience it some time. When you can let go and feel satisfied with yourself. When you can stop tying your existence to other people.”
My eyes immediately look over at her. She does seem blissful. My existence tied to others? She means Kyoya-sama. I want to be him; life would be easy if I was him. When I’m in my own head I’m not normal; I’m an outcast. When I’m in my own head, people die.
I want to be with Setsuna-san. When I’m with her I don’t feel any angst; she takes it all away. But then that would mean tying my existence to her. Am I scared to be alone now? I think I might have another violent episode.
“We should hurry back,” she says. “Looks like a storm.”
“I don’t mind getting caught in it.”
Chapter 68: Kyoya
As soon as we got home I went to the shower. It feels nice to get out of the suit. The weirdest thing is she’s staring at me shower from a crack in the bathroom door. I’m pretending not to notice.
She was so feisty in the car. I didn’t know she could make me so nervous. It’s so cute to hear her scream at me. I can laugh now but in the car I was sweating.
She doesn’t have to marry me if she doesn’t want to. Why wouldn’t she want to? I take a minute to calm down. When it’s time to talk she’s on the other side of the car.
“Uh….Setsuna-”
“I’m sorry,” she says to me.
“There’s no need for that. We obviously need to talk.”
“No, it’s fine. Everything is fine.”
“You’re upset about the interview. I didn’t consider any of that an issue. I figured you would just agree with me on those matters. I know you want to get married. You were very excited when I gave you that ring.”
“What about the other thing?”
“What other thing?”
“Those people. You’re quarantining people for ideals they don’t have.”
“What makes you so sure?” I ask her.
“Cause it was all done by one man and he has no ideals at all. He’s just a murderer.”
Whenever I lock eyes with her she turns away.
“Are you afraid to have an argument with me?” I ask her.
“I’m not arguing-”
“Look at me.”
Her shoulders stand up just hearing my voice. What have I done to make her afraid of me?
“It’s fine. I’ll agree with everything you do. It’s what I’m supposed to do. I’ll get used to it.”
“It’s not what you’re supposed to do-”
“How isn’t it? I said “I support you.” I said it blindly and I’ll continue to say it blindly.”
Her voice starts off angry and then gets quiet. It’s fine to argue with me. Maybe she thinks it means we’ll break up.
“I rather not talk to the back of your head,” I say to her.
“I rather you not see my face.”
“I know you’re used to being by yourself when you encounter some new emotion. You can’t do that now,” I say.
I touch her shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!”
I squeeze close to the door on my side of the car. She’s never pushed me away like that.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
She turns back to me clutching her ring.
“I’ve been feeling doubt,” she admits. “I just….I just feel like I can’t handle it. I can’t play the princess anymore. At first I thought that was all I was, all I could be. That’s how my parents made me feel. But I’m more than that.”
I scratch my head nervously. Is she asking to leave? I can’t permit that.
“You don’t think I’m smart, do you? You don’t think I have a brain?”
“That’s not true.”
“I felt hurt when I was blindsided during the interview. I felt like you only see me as a figurehead or a symbol.”
“That’s not true.”
“I trained to be a leader just like you. I understand it. You don’t have to keep things from me.”
She slides closer to me. Her eyes are searching mine. Searching for what, I wonder.
“I think you’re a great king. I wouldn’t take that away from you but you need to realize…I can.”
She’s threatening me.
“All I’m trying to do is be on equal ground with you. I can handle whatever you tell me. I can make my own decisions about it. And I will support you but you need to know how I feel first.”
“I understand. I’ll try to include you more.”
I assumed she enjoyed the docile role. Most women like a man that can handle everything. She smiles at me and I see the girl I’m used to. She can’t be serious about taking my position away from me. I need her to get stronger feelings for me.
I open my eyes in the shower and see her still watching me. I can’t figure her out. Why did she say, “I don’t have to marry you if I don’t want to?” It’s like she was warning me. I’m pushing her closer to….leaving me. I haven’t even considered that a possibility.
I have to face her. When I step out the shower she hides behind the door frame. She’s definitely going through her curious phase.
“Can I watch you shower
now?” I ask.
“Huh! What? N-no.”
“C’mon, I wanna finally see what’s under there.”
She steps into the doorway with her head down. Her sketchbook is under her arm. So she’s been drawing me. I cover up with a towel and walk towards her. She’s still.
“There’s absolutely nothing,” she says holding her arms across her chest. “You’re better off looking at Yumi-chan.”
“What makes you think I like girls like her?”
“Everyone does.”
Yumiko-san is sexy but she’s far too annoying to be with. All last night, Yumiko-san talked and whined and gossiped. So many times she asked about Kan-nii and I had to put her back on track.
“You’re my type,” I tell her.
I tilt her chin to make her look at me.
“How’d you get so many muscles?” she asks staring at my chest.
“You attracted to guys with muscles?”
She blushes and I hug her close.
“You’re still wet,” she mumbles.
“The house is empty. How about we both hop in the shower?”
If I can get her to have sex with me, she’ll be more obedient. I’m certain she’ll forget about any doubt in her mind. She pushes me away putting her sketchbook between us.
“Why do you keep pushing me away?” I ask.
I haven’t had sex in three months. Something has to be done about that. I take a step closer to her and she runs out the room. Her tiny feet thump down the hallway. She stays hidden the whole night.
Close to midnight I walk around. Yumiko-san should be here by now. I walk pass her room and hear the two girls laughing. They’re happy being back in their country.
“So um….what’s it like being with Captain Saki?” I hear Setsuna-san say.
She knows about it. Why would she be curious?
“Don’t make me answer that.”
“Is he sweet?”
“No. He’s the strangest man I’ve ever met. He helped a lot though. But it’s over now. That was just a short chapter in my life. I like the single me.”
“So you guys aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend anymore?”
“We never were. He was just something to fool around with.”
“That’s not nice. You shouldn’t fool around with his feelings.”
“There were no feelings.”
She’s so sensitive to Ayato-san. She understands his delicate emotional state without even knowing the story behind it. Maybe that’s just the kind of person she is.
“I told you, you have to leave that guy alone. He’s obsessed.”
“He’s my friend. I don’t mind how he is. If he thinks you don’t accept him it’ll just hurt his feelings more. And when his feelings are hurt he likes to be alone.”
“I guess I’ve wanted to talk to someone about it. He’s not all bad. He is a good kisser,” Yumiko-san says.
“You kissed him?”
“He kissed me. He’s really energetic when he’s into it. He says really sexy things and has a nice motion about him.”
“Um…”
“You’re the wrong person to talk about this with. This is extremely awkward for you.” Yumiko-san asks her.
How is it awkward for her?
“It’s weird to think of him that way. He’s my friend. He always wears a uniform. I can’t imagine him naked.”
“I liked it when he wore the uniform. It reminded me of…yeah, we should stop talking. Stop trying to picture him naked!”
“I’m not!”
I’m the one that had to tell him how sex worked. He didn’t get the concept of it so when we were younger we watched tons of porn. He still didn’t get it so he went on his own and started binding women and experimenting. Now he has a “nice motion” about him. Am I supposed to be proud?
“So….you wore the robes and pretended to be me. Did it work?”
First I’m hearing of it. He was with Yumiko-san to satisfy himself. He really wants Setsuna-san. Why would Yumiko-san go along with it; her self-esteem must have been shot. Things are definitely getting out of hand.
“He was really into it,” she admits. “It was….good. Are you sure you wanna hear about this?”
“I know he’s in love with me. This isn’t surprising. The thing is….Kyoya-sama knows; he knew before me. But still he lets the captain guard me.”
“Cause he trusts you.”
“It’s like you said. He thinks I’ll always be here.”
“Won’t you?”
I’m getting nervous listening.
“Well anyway he trusts the captain too, although I don’t think he should,” Yumiko-san says to her.
“He really shouldn’t.”
“Did the captain make a move on you?”
“No. He never has.”
“Do you want him to?”
“D-don’t talk like that!”
“Why do so many boys like you? If you went to high school all the girls would be jealous.”
Yumiko-san’s gossiping has come in handy. Setsuna-san sounds so much different than she did when I first met her; she’s mature now and having mature feelings.
The door opens quickly and I stare at Yumiko-san.
“Stay quiet,” I mouth to her.
“I’m gonna get us some drinks. Stay here.”
She walks out and closes the door. I have nothing to say. I retreat back down to my room.
“Kyoya-sama,” she calls to me.
“Don’t say anything.”
“I won’t. I want you to be with her. But you should know…she’s thinking about him.”
Chapter 69: Kantarou
“We’d be in so much trouble if someone saw me in your room.”
“But you keep coming.”
“Cause you never stop me.”
She runs to me and I take her in my arms. I haven’t seen Yumiko-san in months. Finally she has a break from school. Her scent comes back to me and my guard goes down.
“I’ll give you my first night but I have to see Setsuna-chan.”
“The little girl is fine.”
“I have to make sure. And plus I miss her.”
I don’t plan on letting go tonight. I refuse to tell her that I missed her. We fall to the bed and I lay still with her. I just want to sleep with something warm in my arms.
“Commander, you’re never this grabby.”
Her chest is the warmest part. I push my head against it and nuzzle close.
“I don’t feel like a commander when I’m with you.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, that’s exactly what I want.”
I wake up. She’s at it again. I sit up in my bed and push my hair away. Dreaming about her is nice; I can still feel her warmth.
“Why are you going through my closet?” I ask.
“Good morning, Kantarou-sama. I was just picking out your outfit for the day.”
“I wear a uniform every day.”
“And I’m picking it out to you.”
She’s so annoying. Mother invited her to stay in the palace and every day she gets on my nerves. Chiyo-san is becoming less and less ideal. I haven’t announced anything but I know I have to go through with it. Why’d I have to wake up from that dream?
“Today I was hoping to have lunch with my parents,” she says.
“Fine with me.”
“I want you to come too.”
I lie back down and cover my head with the pillow. It can’t just be me; other people have to see how annoying she is. My phone rings on the nightstand. I reach my hand out and connect with hers. Pushing the pillow away I see her reaching for it.
“Don’t ever reach for my phone again,” I warn her.
“S-sorry.”
“Leave. I have business.”
The phone keeps ringing while she walks to the door. When the door closes behind her I answer it.
“Commander speaking.”
“I’m checking in.”
“I get that.
What’s going on?”
Captain Saki is on the other line. He doesn’t take any of this seriously.
“I’m taking leave.”
“Why?”
“Psychological problems. Kyoya-sama approved it.”
“Kyoya isn’t your boss. I am.”
“Believe me, it’s for the best.”
“What replacement do you have?” I ask.
“None.”
Typical of him. Doesn’t care for the big picture.
“Whatever. I’m going there anyway.”
Anything to get away from Chiyo-san. I’ve been waiting for an excuse.
“I knew you would have my back. It might interest you to know that they’ll be forming a palace guard in Morinaga.”
“Not without my input. Take your leave. I’ll be there shortly.”
Yumiko-san will be there. I know she doesn’t want to speak to me. After all I said I feel like I made a big mistake. I don’t want to marry a woman I don’t have feelings for. Appearances are meaningless; I don’t care anymore.
When Yumiko-san spoke in her interview it made me want to change the formula of things. I was happy for the people to know but it wasn’t one sided. There was love between us from the beginning. At first I faked it to keep her away from Kyoya’s plan but then it all got real. I just don’t know when it happened.
She’d be a good queen but it’s too late for that.
I get up and see the uniform Chiyo-san laid out for me. I push it aside and grab a new one from the closet. After getting dressed I open the door and see her standing.
“I’m going to Morinaga,” I tell her.
“Perfect. I’ll come too.”
“You won’t.”
“But people will need to see us together. And traveling to your brother’s country will be perfect. I can help Setsuna-san plan the wedding.”
She follows me down the hall and I stop.
“You’re getting in the way,” I tell her. “If you continue to get in the way, I’ll have you kicked out of here.”
“I’m coming with you. I won’t leave you alone with her.”
“Are you making commands at me?”
I turn back and see her.
“You may not like me but you need me.”
I need her money, not her. I’m starting to think the money isn’t so important.
The Last Princess Page 28