“Calm down,” he says grabbing my shoulders. “I’m not gonna cheat on you.”
“I’ll do it, okay. I’ll do it so you’ll stay.”
“Setsuna….stop talking like that. I love you. I just want to feel more of you. Feel a bond between us. And plus…I’m really attracted to you. I just want you to know that.”
He lets go of me and stands up. All I see is his broad back.
“We’ll do it when you’re ready. I won’t bring it up again.”
He walks off and the door closes behind him. What was I saying? I panicked thinking I’d be left alone again. I should have heard him out instead of jumping to conclusions. He thinks I’m so immature. He’ll always see me as a kid cause I’m still so far behind him. Have I come any closer?
It feels awkward being around him now. We ride in the car together and sit on opposite sides. He’s thinking about sex. I’ve never thought about it. He yawns and I hold onto the door handle. Is he going to jump at me?
“Pretend I didn’t say anything,” he says.
“How long have you wanted to….you know?”
“I guess…..since I kissed you the first time.”
The recorded kiss? That was so long ago. I remember it clearly without it being replayed over television. He was sweet then. His lips were so gentle. I had never been kissed before so it felt like he was going slowly to teach me. I touch my lips remembering. It was nice being so close.
I move closer to him and he puts him arm around me.
“Maybe we could try,” I whisper to him.
“I don’t think we should try here. A little too public.”
I look pass him. We’re here!
“The aquarium!”
“It’s all ours for the night. No press, no civilians, no guards.”
“Really?”
How did he know I like fish? There are all types in there.
“Will we get to see sharks?”
“Of course.”
“And turtles?”
“Let’s see when we get inside.”
Everything is blue. The ceilings are made of water and the ground too. I put my face to the glass as a school of fish floats by.
“This is amazing!”
“This is only the entrance.”
He takes my hand and carries me deeper inside. Finally I get to experience the outside world with him. I’m very happy. He gives me a tour and I get to see the fish I’ve read about. They’re beautiful in person.
The tour ends with a table and chairs set up in the glass room. We’re surrounded by water and pink fish.
“It was hard to think of the most appropriate thing to eat in here. So I just bought fruit you like.”
“Thank you,” I say to him. “Thank you so much.”
“I understood what you meant. I can’t keep you inside forever just to protect you. It’s fine if you go out with me sometimes.”
I sit down with him and I can’t stop smiling. He smiles too.
“The cherries are my favorite. There’s a tree back in the palace garden. Captain Saki use to put me on his shoulders so I could reach them. Then we’d eat them under the tree and bury the pits.”
Thinking about him makes me wonder where he is.
“Do you know where he’s gone? He disappeared so suddenly. Is he okay?”
“He’s fine.”
“Did he say where he went?”
“It doesn’t matter where he went,” he says sharply. “Stop thinking about him so much.”
He’s upset at me for asking. I take a sip of pineapple juice and watch him from behind the glass. After a few minutes he holds his forehead and drops his grape.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I know he disappeared suddenly. He’s fine. Just taking some time off.”
“Oh…okay.”
“Kantarou is supposed to be guarding you. He’s a bit distracted so you probably didn’t notice. I’ll have to talk to him about that.”
“He seems like he has more important things to do than guard me. I feel safe for the most part.”
“You’re not. I don’t mean to scare you but I’ve been listening to the noise. There are people that want you dead.”
"B-but why?”
“My people are aggressive in nature. They’ve seen their country conquer and flex. They don’t know diplomacy, they know force.”
“So?”
“So…they see me being here as a conquest. And with you dead, there are no royals left. So….I would take the country with no force at all.”
“Is that what you’re doing?”
“Of course not. Why do you think I’m working so hard to protect you? I wanna make these people believe that our countries can merge together. Be partners. So you and I need to remain strong in the public eye. No matter what you feel about me, you must always support me in public.”
“I don’t agree with what’s happening in Highland Row.”
“I know that. And I’m the only one that should know that.”
I understand. I get the feeling my mother was the same way. Tomoko-sama too.
“The wedding is very important. It should calm these people down.”
I nod to him.
“I’m fine so long as Captain Saki is near. Hopefully he won’t be on leave long.”
I take another sip of pineapple juice and see him squeezing an apple to death.
“You….you make me wonder where your heart lies,” he says softly.
“What….What do you mean? My heart’s always been with you-”
He slams his fist on the table.
“You expect me to believe something you don’t even believe!"
“Kyoya-sama-”
“The day I kissed you, I had your heart. I was all you had and all you needed. When you got attacked, you called for me. You wanted me to protect you. Now you just call for him!”
He slams his hand again. He’s scaring the fish.
“You love him, don’t you?” he asks me.
I don’t want to answer. I take another sip and he slaps the glass away from me. It shatters against the glass wall.
“Answer me,” he says staring.
I’m scared. I don’t want to answer. I don’t want to admit it. I bite my lip to stop myself from speaking.
“Answer me! Don’t you have the nerve to tell me to my face.”
“I-I don’t love-"
“Don’t lie to me!"
What happened to make him so upset? I didn’t do anything wrong. He’s never looked at me like that before. He snarls again bringing up his anger. I run for it.
I can’t face him. I can’t tell him what I’ve been feeling. I run to the doorway and look back. He flips over the table and runs towards me. Where can I hide? I hike up my robe and keep running. I never thought I would have to run away from him physically.
I turn left at the turtle tank and run over the sting ray bridge. Sounds like he’s stopped. Guess I’ll be hiding here forever since I refuse to face him. He’s always so calm even when he’s upset. Now he’s out of patience.
Looking around I see I ended up at the dolphin tank. There’s one right behind me. So happy in there; they’re so happy swimming and bumping into each other. I touch my hand to the glass and it’s immediately pulled away. I fall to the floor with Kyoya-sama staring down at me.
“Don’t run from me,” he says.
“I-I didn’t mean to-”
“I can’t hear you.”
He comes closer to me forcing me to go between his legs. I try to push back to get distance but he follows me.
“What were you saying?”
“I didn’t mean to run. You’re being really scary.”
“I’m just fed up with you. You’re not such a good girl. I’m really disappointed.”
“I am good-”
“You’re not!” he screams. “Do I have to show you what happens to bad girls? Maybe then you’ll learn.”
He pulls at my collar and I slap him. We’re both stunned
. I’ve never hit him before. I’m not the one that should be begging right now.
“Back away from me!”
He obeys and gets to his feet. His cheek is so red now; suddenly my hand stings. No more running away. If he’s ready to listen then I’ll talk. I stand up.
“I love him, okay. Is that what you’re waiting to hear?”
“How could you-”
“No! How could you! You can’t blame me for loving him. I had everything taken from me. I was left alone. You came and hugged me but left me.”
“I-”
“He was there for me. He was there every time I needed him. Always joking with me and smiling.”
“I-”
“I called you every day. I reached out for you and you pushed me away. “It’s complicated” you said. Well it just got more complicated.”
“You don’t know what I was going through.”
That’s how he’s going to defend himself. Nothing he went through could compare to my unhappiness. Last I checked he still had a family and a home to call his own.
“You don’t know what I was going though. And if you would have asked maybe I wouldn’t have fallen for someone else.”
It’s liberating to say. I have been afraid to argue with him. We won’t get anywhere in our relationship unless we expose the hard feelings.
“Maybe I wouldn’t think about him so much and wonder if he thinks about me. I wouldn’t try to picture him naked or wonder what it would be like to kiss him.”
I hold my mouth closed. How can I admit all this to him; I never even admitted it to myself.
He starts to pace the floor holding his head. I hurt him. I know I did. It’s not that I don’t love him. I reach out for him and he turns away. His shaking hand takes a cigarette from his pocket.
He lights up as he walks away from me. I ruined it all.
“I didn’t mean to,” I call to him. “It just happened.”
Please don’t go. I wanna choose him. As soon as I drop my head I hear a banging sound. His monstrous grunt echoes down the hall.
I run after him and see him banging his fists against the glass. It’s cracking.
“Kyoya, don’t!”
He screams louder. I’m not strong enough to push him away.
“Kyoya!”
I hold onto him, hug him and listen to his racing heartbeat.
“Kyoya, stop,” I whisper to him in tears.
As soon as I cry he stops banging. He pulls himself away and continues smoking down the hall.
“We’re going home,” he calls back to me.
I follow behind him cautiously. It’s hard to look at him now. The Kyoya-sama I know doesn’t have rage like that. He’s gentle always. I look back and see the cracked glass; he really could have hurt the fish.
“Uh!”
I bump into him. He holds his hand out to me. After all that he still wants to hold onto me. Does he forgive me or at least understand me? I grab his hand and he leads me out.
Chapter 75: Kira
“I’m looking for Naoko-san?”
“Who?”
“T-the creepy looking girl with the curly blond hair.”
Should have thought this through. I found out she comes to the knife throwing range after classes. There are some pretty seedy people out here. This tall guy blocks the path into the range. He must be security.
“She’s busy. And she wouldn’t wanna talk to a runt like you.”
“I think she would.”
She and whatever group she’s apart of are a danger to Setsuna-san. I thought about it for a few days. It’s something I should tell the teacher or my brother about but no…I can handle it myself.
“Step aside,” I hear behind him.
He moves away and I see the curly haired girl. She smiles at me while pushing him out the way.
“Prince, you really sought me out?”
“Don’t go thinking you’re special. I just wanted to talk more.”
“So you’ve been thinking about me?”
“More about what you said.”
She pulls a knife from behind her back and I step back.
“Go a round with me. If you score more points we’ll talk some more.”
I’m terrible at knife throwing. Easier to just pick up a pistol.
“Don’t come all this way for nothing,” she teases.
She pulls me back inside the range. It’s a jungle landscape. Ninjas drop out of trees and then go back in. A monkey appears too; I guess I’m supposed to avoid them.
She passes me knives with yellow handles. Her knives have green handles.
“I don’t get the point of all this. You being crazy automatically gives you the upper hand in knife throwing,” I tell her.
“Eyes straight, prince.”
She throws the first one. She gets it right in his eye; she’s good. Everything speeds up and she still nails them all. I’m running out of time. I better just throw. By the time I throw the first one the course stops.
“You’re terrible,” she tells me. “How are you even passing?”
“Knife throwing isn’t part of my curriculum.”
“Don’t you want to be a soldier?”
“No.”
Never crossed my mind.
“You should. You’d be great at it. My aim is to command my own unit in black ops.”
“You mean like assassinations and stuff?” I ask.
“Yeah, and you can be in my unit. It’s all about being in the shadows.”
“I’m well known so-”
“Are you? This is your forth year here and no one has said anything to you about being a prince. And a few days ago people were in your room all excited that you know the princess. Do they even remember who you are now? Or did they just scream at the pictures and run.”
Some of those people are in my class. They’ve been staying quiet about the whole thing. She thinks she can analyze me. I’m not so simple just cause I’m invisible. Why am I even talking to her anyway? I exit the range.
“Prince, wait.”
“Don’t follow me,” I call back.
“Why did you come to see me?”
I stop walking. She’s right behind me. I have to say something or she will start thinking she’s special.
“I want to make sure no harm comes to Setsuna-san.”
“I can’t promise that. It’s not like I run the faction.”
“She’s a member of the Niwa family. Attack her and you’ll be committing treason.”
“I wouldn’t harm her personally.”
I head back to my room.
“I’m invisible.”
Doesn’t matter how smart I am or how many knives I throw. I’m nothing to my family, to Setsuna-san or my country. Since I came to this place, Naoko-san was the first one to notice me. I went to talk to her today partly because of the haunting words she said but also cause I wanted someone to talk to. Don’t even have a roommate cause of security reasons.
While everyone’s out having fun and eating dinner I’m stuck here. It’s my choice, I guess. What’s the use of going into the crowd all by myself?
“Prince,” I hear at the door.
What’s she doing in the boy’s dorm?
I open the door quickly. She’s gonna get both of us in trouble.
“Why did you really seek me out?” she asks me.
I pull her inside and close the door. I’m…happy she came. It feels better to talk to her in private.
“You said you would visit again. You were taking too long.”
I lay back down on the bed. She joins me right away.
“Chairs are for guests,” I scold her. “You can’t just-”
“Stop yelling. You want someone to hear.”
Her hair is right near my face. We both stare up at the ceiling. I touch a strand. It springs back into place. I remember Setsuna-san had the silkiest black hair. This curly hair is different.
“You’re not from Han, are you?” I ask her.
“I am. I’ve lived in Han my whole life. You don’t see much outside your capitol.”
I suppose that’s true. I’ve never seen a blond curly girl but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
“Han is a vast country. You call it yours yet you’ve seen so little. Stay part of the royal family and you’ll continue to see so little.”
“I’m not leaving my family-”
“I’m not asking you to,” she says to me. “I’m asking you to leave your useless title. You can join the black ops with me.”
“I’m not a soldier.”
“Then what are you then?” she says rolling over to me.
“Just leave me alone.”
“I’m not going to leave you alone.”
She reaches for my hand and I pull it away.
“Don’t misunderstand. I just want us to be partners. And neither of us will have to go through this alone,” she offers.
I roll over avoiding her. She’s telling me everything I want to hear but she’s not the person I want to hear it from. I have no idea who Naoko-san is. She’s no princess.
“Why me?” I ask her.
“Does it matter?”
But….I’ll probably never get a princess. I roll back around to her.
“We should get to the mess hall before they run out of food,” I tell her.
“Do I get to sit at the prince’s special table?”
“I guess there's room for one more."
I agree with her in some ways but I’m not going to become a soldier. There’s gotta be something I can do to make things safe for the royals.
She’s smiling. She looks like a such a girl when she smiles.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she says.
“L-like what?”
“I just want to be your friend, got it.”
“I wasn’t even looking at you like I wanted to like-”
“Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
This final year I won’t have to be alone. I don’t want to join the black ops but I need to have some plan when I get out of here. Naoko-san has it all figured out. I have no idea what made her seek me out. Is it that she sees something in me? If I take my eyes off the princess, maybe I’ll see something in Naoko-san.
“Naoko-san,” I call to her.
She’s about to leave out the door.
“I’ll consider your partnership.”
Chapter 76: Kyoya
The Last Princess Page 31