Hands shaking with eagerness, I oiled up Axel’s cock with teasing twists and pulls.
Axel moaned. “Christ.” I climbed up on him again and pressed the head of his cock to my opening.
“Don’t you need to—oh, God!” Axel closed his eyes as I slowly eased down his shaft. “Th—that feels…amazing.”
“I’ve been practicing,” I said smugly, and Axel opened one eye to look at me.
“I hope you mean with a toy and not with someone else.”
I laughed and kissed him. “With a toy.”
He ran his hands up my bare thighs. “The difference without the condom is…crazy good,” he said, and then sighed as I bottomed out. We kissed a while, tongues playing while I adjusted to his girth.
Then I began to move.
“Holy shit, Caleb. Oh, my God.” Axel gripped my waist, fingers digging in, and I imagined how bruises would look dotting my skin, a temporary visual of his claim on me.
Axel pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside so I was naked riding his fully clothed body. It made me feel naughty in the best of ways, especially with the uncovered window nearby. I imagined someone looking in, seeing us joined on the couch, and I began fucking myself on him in earnest, collecting every sigh and moan from Axel’s mouth until I became so overcome I could only rest my face in the crook of his neck and breathe in his sweat while he took over the thrusting for me, seeking out my nipples and teasing them with plucks and rolls of his rough fingers.
Every jab of his cock to my prostate made it throb with growing need, and eventually the pleasure built until I curled my fingers into the sleeves of Axel’s shirt and arched my back, keening as I got closer and closer to the edge. Our bodies made deliciously vulgar noises as Axel fucked me with fast, hard twists of his hips, spreading me open and pulling me apart. I cried out just before he did. As the pleasure rolled away like distant thunder, I looked down between us at where our bodies joined. I moved experimentally, pleased to see the white spunk pooling around the base of his cock.
“God, that was good,” Axel said on a sigh, and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped me. Making him feel good doubled my afterglow.
“You are fucking beautiful,” Axel said, looking at me like I was a treasure he wanted to own.
Unwilling to release him from my body yet, I leaned against him and rested, content.
Later that night, as the cold wind moaned through the crevices of the house and the full moon shone over us from my bedroom window, we lay entwined. As I combed my fingers through Axel’s thick, dark hair and watched him suck my balls until they were swollen and sore, I marveled with the tiny bit of my brain left that could form thought at the changes the man had wrought in my life. I was better. Whole. Happy. I could sleep entire nights with him beside me. I smiled at the thought even as I arched my back and gave into the orgasm racing through my body.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Axel
Thanksgiving morning, I walked into the clubhouse, immediately greeted by Blaze’s raised voice from the back bedroom.
“The fucking asshole is testing me.”
I’d just gotten off the phone with Caleb and was eager to leave for his house, hoping for some alone time before the big meal. Curious, I made my way to Blaze’s bedroom and found the club leader pacing the room like a caged tiger. Lake sat propped on pillows in the bed, computer on his lap, and Matteo stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest.
“What’s goin’ on?” I asked.
“Fucking Kilbourne’s put Mick in the hospital,” Matteo answered.
“What? When?”
Three weeks had gone by since Mick had shown up at the clubhouse, face black and blue and eye swollen shut. I’d hoped our little visit to Kil and his buddies had gotten the message through, but evidently it hadn’t. No wonder Blaze looked thunderous.
“Hung got a call from Mick’s sister this morning. Somebody found Mick in an alley when they were walking their dog. This time he’s got broken ribs and bruised kidneys.” Lake looked sickened.
“Damn.” I glanced at Blaze.
“Fucker’s taunting us,” Blaze said.
“Hung’s gone to the hospital,” Matteo told me.
I heard movement behind me and turned to find Nick standing in the hall. He wore a pair of navy skinny jeans, a pale pink sweater, and pink Vans. With his dark hair, big blue eyes, high cheekbones reddened from the cold, and full lips slicked with gloss, the young man looked incredibly…well, pretty. I’d never been particularly attracted to his type, but looking at him then, I could see how Blaze might be right that Hung had a thing for the guy.
Nick’s carefully shaped brows dipped in a frown, eyes darting past my big frame to the bedroom.
“Why’s Hung at the hospital?” he asked, nervously gripping his hands together, and I realized he thought Hung had been hurt.
“He’s gone to see Mick. The kid got beat up again,” I said.
Relief followed by a troubled cloud passed over Nick’s eyes in quick succession before clearing. “Oh. Is Blaze in there?” He gestured to the room behind me. “Kevin wants him.”
Behind me, the club leader cursed.
“Tell him I’ll be there in a minute,” Blaze called to Nick, and when I turned around, the club leader had come to a stop at the foot of the bed.
“This time make sure Kilbourne can’t do it again,” he told me, eyes flashing with ire.
“Boss?” I wasn’t sure, but it kind of sounded like Blaze wanted me to get rid of Kilbourne. That couldn’t be right.
Blaze shook his head. “Don’t kill him, but make sure you put the fear of God in the fucker this time. I don’t want to leave any room in his mind we’re not fooling around here.”
Blaze moved past me and out the door with Matteo following, leaving me under the weight of Lake’s cool, green gaze.
“You don’t have to do it,” Lake said.
I blinked. “What do you mean? You heard the bossman.”
“I heard Blaze, your friend and club brother. If you’re uncomfortable with it, tell him you don’t want to do it.”
“What makes you think I’m uncomfortable?” I asked. “It’s not like I haven’t done shit like this plenty of times before. It’s what I’m good at.”
Lake set his laptop aside. “It’s not all you’re good at. And Blaze doesn’t expect you to do this if it makes you uncomfortable. He doesn’t know what’s going on in your head.”
“And you do?”
Lake just looked at me.
I scowled and walked down the hall and through the living room to the front porch. Lake was right. I didn’t want to do this. I’d hated the look in Caleb’s eyes when he’d seen the bruises and cuts left from the last throw down with Kilbourne and his buddies, and I didn’t want to see it again. And that made me ashamed because I was loyal to Blaze.
I didn’t have a doubt Kilbourne was testing us and that this time I’d have to be brutal. The most effective warning would be for me to take some insurance to make sure the Sinner never questioned us again. A finger or an ear would do the trick.
There’d been a time I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Would’ve been halfway there now, blade in my pocket and an ire rising in my chest to prove the Hedonists couldn’t be fucked with. But I wasn’t that man anymore, and I knew why. Loving Caleb had brought something out in me I’d forgotten was there. He’d called me his safe place, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
Looking out at the neighborhood I’d come to call home, I considered. Being a Hedonist wasn’t anything like being a member of Heaven’s Rejects, and Blaze was no Ange, quick to judge a man by the number and atrocity of his dirty deeds. Those facts only made me more loyal to Blaze and the Hedonists. Blaze had been good to me, and he counted on me to be his muscle when necessary. I’d never let him down before, and the thought of doing so now formed a ball of lead in the pit of my stomach.
I shook away all dark thoughts. Tonight, Caleb and I planned on going to the far
m, and crazy as it seemed, I was looking forward to it. After our first visit there, I’d begun to think maybe the place could be wiped clean of bad memories and become a place Caleb and I could go to decompress and forget the world. I wasn’t going to cancel our plans now. Blaze would be okay waiting a few days for me to get to Kilbourne, especially as it would leave the Sinner sweating.
I went back inside and showered then, choosing my clothes for the afternoon carefully, I packed jeans and several of Skitz’s flannel shirts that Caleb liked so much. I wouldn’t need anything else as I planned to spend the majority of time indoors naked. Ready, I called to Matteo in the kitchen to have everyone at Dante’s by four and headed out, eager to see my man.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Caleb
Something was going on with Axel. While everyone laughed and talked during the big holiday meal, he remained quiet and preoccupied. I sat next to him at the end of the long table close to the kitchen door where I usually sat. No matter how many times I ate with the club, I couldn’t get used to being with such a rowdy bunch of big men. I thought I was doing all right, considering. I didn’t feel the need to run, anyway.
A particularly loud laugh from Foghorn made me jump, and Axel laced our fingers together underneath the table. As always, his touch settled me, and I contentedly ate one-handed while listening to Morgan tell everyone about how he’d messed up the sweet potatoes three times before finally getting them right.
“Is something wrong?” I asked Axel when the meal was over and we helped clear the table.
He glanced at me. “Just tired, I guess.”
“Too tired to drive? We can wait until the morning to go to the farm.”
Axel pulled me in for a short, deep kiss. “I wanna go tonight.”
We said our goodbyes to our friends, and before leaving in the SUV, we picked up Duke and my bag at the shelter. Hugh had discovered a microchip in Della, the terrier mix Brad had brought to the shelter, and she’d been returned to a family living nearby who’d been very glad to get her back. Isaac was going to take care of the other animals until I got home.
Taking the long drive in the dark proved more of a challenge for me than it had in the daytime. I’d worried a little about the trip, even though I’d been the one to suggest it. I still felt as though I needed Dana’s okay for things, and that bothered me. Now that I’d quit my sessions, I shouldn’t be thinking about what my therapist would say.
I felt Axel glance at me every so often as he drove, and I tried to keep my face devoid of my inner concerns. I didn’t want him to know I had any reservations about our trip. I’d be okay once we got there. Duke nuzzled my shoulder from the back seat and licked my neck, and I stroked his head.
Axel parked in front of the farmhouse. The place didn’t look half as inviting as it had in broad daylight. Coupled with the frigid air and lack of a moon, the atmosphere seemed gloomy. My heart picked up as we stepped onto the porch, and I kept looking over my shoulder as though I expected someone to leap out at us. Duke lifted his leg on a tree trunk before joining us.
Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it.
“What?” Axel said, and I realized I’d been whispering the words aloud.
“Nothing,” I said, sighing in relief when we got inside, and he flipped on the lights.
“We got here just in time; it’s starting to snow,” Axel said, looking out the window. He turned to me. “You want a fire?”
“Why don’t we just go to bed?” I suggested. “It’s late, and I’ve fallen into a turkey coma from dinner.”
“Okay, but we’d better unpack the cooler first,” Axel said.
We did, and then Axel led me to the same bedroom we’d slept in before. I wondered if the master bedroom made him think of his grandparents. I supposed sleeping in there would put a damper on sexy times.
We stripped, and my eyes were riveted to each piece of bare skin Axel revealed. His body was amazing, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. He seemed just as eager to touch mine, and we fell on the bed together, lips fused. I ran my hand along the dip of Axel’s back and up along the soft curves of his ass. He moaned approvingly into my mouth and caressed my tongue with his. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I pushed our hardening cocks together, and we lay like that a long time, undulating against one another and kissing.
Axel tugged on my hair and attacked my neck with lips and teeth. I cried out and arched my back, rubbing the soles of my feet against the soft hairs on his calves. When his lips latched onto my nipple, I shuddered with pleasure.
“I love these sweet little buds,” he said before laving the other nipple with his tongue.
“Axel,” I panted. “Shit.”
He moved lower, bypassing my cock and pushing my legs up so he could get at my ass. I moaned, hooking my arms under my knees to brazenly hold myself open for him as his tongue wheedled its way into my hole. I loved it when he did this. Soon, I was leaking on my stomach and breathing like a racehorse.
Axel sat up and arranged the pillows. “Roll over on these,” he said, voice raspy.
I did, and then Axel’s tongue went at me again, wriggling and stabbing into my hole as his whiskers chafed my butt cheeks, making me feel like a meal for a starving man.
“Lube’s in my bag. Axel, please…” I groaned. I couldn’t wait for him to push inside me. I felt him move off the bed, and then he was there again, squirting wet slick between my ass cheeks and pushing it inside my hole with thick fingers.
I raised my ass, not satisfied until his cock was all the way inside me. Axel covered my back with his body and kissed me over my shoulder.
“You feel so good. Too good.” He pumped his hips, sending a burst of pleasure through me, and I yelled.
Duke began barking.
“Down, boy. We’re not playing,” Axel admonished, and tossed the wadded blanket beside us onto the floor for him to lie on.
My groans became one long keening wail as Axel sped up his thrusts, the sound of our flesh slapping filling the room. We moved together as one, a savage animal writhing on the bed. I basked in Axel’s every grunt and sigh as he alternated between pounding into me and slowly pumping his hips. We teetered on th edge for a long time until, finally, we came almost simultaneously, pleasure rolling through one of us and into the other. Axel pulled out, and we lay exhausted under the sheet, whispering softly in the dark until we fell asleep.
****
We’d slept in the wet spot. I wrinkled my nose when I saw the dry flakes on the green sheets the following morning.
“I’ll put these in the wash,” I said, pulling them off the bed and trying not to stare when Axel dropped his towel and began dressing. I didn’t know how I could be so horny so often, but I was.
“You okay?” Axel asked me when I started out the door with the bunched-up sheets.
“Yeah, why?” I couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Caleb.”
“It was just a dream. No big deal.”
“It was more than a dream; it was a nightmare. A bad one.”
I’d awakened to Axel rocking me in his arms. I don’t know how long we’d been like that, but my head had ached and my voice had been hoarse from crying.
“I haven’t had one in a while. I guess I was due,” I said, finally looking into his eyes. “I’m okay. Really.” I kissed him. “You’re my safe place, remember?”
I was surprised when Axel dropped his eyes and stepped back from me. The uneasy feeling I’d had about him during dinner the night before returned.
“What’s wrong?”
Axel chuckled. “Hey, I was the one asking you that.”
“You seem upset about something. You did last night, too.”
Axel gave me a devilish smile and winked. “The way I remember it, upset wasn’t the way I was feeling last night.”
I dropped the sheets onto the floor and touched his arm, letting my hand slide down to grip his. “Come on. I know something’s bothering
you.”
Axel sighed. “A friend of mine got hurt, that’s all.”
“Again? Not the same one.”
“Yeah, actually.”
“Mick.”
“Yeah.”
“Is he okay?”
“He’s in the hospital, but he’s gonna be fine. Hung went and checked on him before going to Isaac and Dante’s.”
I recalled overhearing Matteo and Hung at the table talking about somebody who was in the hospital.
“If he’s going to be okay, why are you upset? Are you going to have to fight again?” I tried to keep my voice steady but failed.
Axel put his hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry it bothers you so much.”
I shook my head. “I just don’t want you getting hurt.” Was that really it? Or was it the thought of Axel participating in violence? A shudder ran through me, and I quickly picked up the sheets and took them to the little laundry room off the kitchen. We’d brought some supplies to leave at the farmhouse for future visits, and I grabbed the detergent after stuffing the sheets in the washer.
When I walked into the kitchen, Axel handed me a cup of coffee.
“Thanks,” I said, looking out the window. “There’s a couple of inches snow out there.”
Axel came to stand behind me. “Yeah. And it looks like Devon Lawrence has been here already this morning to feed the horses.”
The thought that neither of us had heard him made me uneasy. What if Lawrence had tried to get inside?
Why would he want to do that? You’re being an idiot.
But the uneasy feeling remained with me all morning as we walked Duke around the property. I tried but couldn’t keep from looking over my shoulder toward the woods. Axel didn’t comment on it, but I was sure he noticed. He suggested we build a snowman, and we managed it, although in the end it was more mud and leaves than snow. I found a stick for its nose and Axel used some small rocks to make the mouth.
“It’s supposed to snow a little more later,” Axel said. “Maybe that will round him out and pretty him up some.”
The Survivor and his Safe Place Page 18