by Kate Hardy
‘Kind of like immunotherapy? Building it up in little doses?’
‘Kind of,’ he agreed. ‘So it’s a compromise. We can work on this together.’
She grimaced. ‘I feel horrible.’
‘You’re not horrible.’ He kissed her lightly. ‘It’s because you care.’ She wanted him to stop doing the dangerous stuff because she cared about him and she was worried he’d be hurt or killed—not because she cared more about her long-term goals and wanted him to spend the time sucking up to ‘important’ people instead, the way Lynda had.
Maybe he should tell her about that.
But he rather thought Hayley had had enough for today. He wasn’t going to dump his own insecurities on her right now. ‘Thank you for telling me about Evan,’ he said. ‘I know this must’ve been so hard for you. And I’m sorry if I made you relive some of the nightmare.’
‘I...I should’ve told you before. Explained more.’
‘I figured you’d tell me more when you were ready,’ he said.
She swallowed hard. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise.’ He kissed her lightly. ‘You’ve had a rough day and you need food. Give me five minutes—it’s fresh pasta and sauce, though I’m afraid none of it’s home-made—it’s from the posh deli counter at the supermarket.’
She gave him a wry smile. ‘A tin of spaghetti hoops on toast would’ve done me.’
He looked at her. ‘If you’d gone home on your own, you would have just made yourself a bowl of cereal, if that.’
‘Busted,’ she said.
‘I can’t promise you that things will always be safe,’ he said, ‘because even in the department something could happen. A drunk could swing a punch that accidentally connects with you and knocks you out, or you could get a needle stick injury while you’re treating someone with HIV, or...’ He held her close. ‘But if you think about all the things that might happen, you’ll drive yourself crazy. Think about how small the chances are of something bad happening—and how big the chances are that the worst won’t happen.’
She swallowed hard. ‘The bereavement counsellor I saw last year said something like that. But I can’t seem to get the risks and the worries out of my head.’
‘It’s going to be OK, Hayley. We’ll work this through. We’ll find some kind of compromise that suits both of us.’ It would just take time.
And for her, Sam realised, he was more than prepared to wait. Because Hayley was special. And they had the chance of making their relationship into something really good.
CHAPTER SEVEN
FINALLY IT WAS the end of October, and Hayley finished her last bit of training with Sam on the Friday night, running the full 10K outdoors. They met up with Dani afterwards to have dinner and discuss strategies for the race itself on the Sunday. Saturday was a rest day, and then on Sunday morning at nine o’clock the three of them headed to Alexandra Park for the start of the race, getting Hayley set up with her numbered bib and the electronic tag for her shoe that would record her time.
Dani seemed a bit distracted, but Hayley put it down to the fact that her best friend was watching the race instead of running it. It was nearly three months since Dani had been diagnosed with the fractured metatarsals, and although the cast was off now she still wasn’t quite back to her full mobility. Hayley knew that taking it slowly was driving Dani crackers, though at least she was watching the race with Sam—who would make her be careful, but without making her feel as if she was wrapped in cotton wool.
Which was ironic, because Hayley didn’t feel as if she could make Sam be careful without wrapping him in cotton wool.
Hayley was glad the weather was dry, cool and calm; the worst thing would’ve been running on wet roads with a bitter wind whipping through the runners. She would be happy if she could run the course in under an hour and a quarter. The route was lined with marshals, and some of the roads had been closed off for a couple of hours for the run. The course had two laps, partly along the streets and partly in the park; she’d also been told that there were two water stations, so she wouldn’t need to take a water bottle with her.
It was the first time Hayley had done a race like this in a crowd, and after the first ten minutes she was surprised to discover that she was enjoying it. Plus running in a crowd meant that she didn’t miss having either Dani by her side when she’d done the interval training on the treadmill at the local gym, or Sam by her side on the outdoor training.
She was flagging a bit on the second lap, but then she saw Dani and Sam near the finish line. They were cheering her on, and it spurred her to run harder for those last few metres. And then she was over the finish line, and a few moments afterwards she was swept into a hug by both Dani and Sam. Hayley found herself unexpectedly in tears with the emotion of it all.
‘You’re wonderful,’ Dani said. ‘Because of you, we’ve raised a ton of money for the new equipment for the ward.’
‘People donated for you,’ Hayley reminded her.
‘But you’re the one who actually ran it.’ Dani hugged her hard. ‘Thank you so much.’
Hayley hugged her back and then hugged Sam. ‘Thank you both. I couldn’t have done it without you training with me.’
He picked her up, swung her round and kissed her. ‘You did brilliantly. I’m so proud of you.’ Then he set her back on her feet and rested his forehead against hers as he realised what he’d just given away. ‘Sorry. I know we were keeping this between us, but I kind of assumed Dani would know as she’s your best friend.’
‘She’d kept it sort of quiet, but I’d already guessed from the way you two look at each other,’ Dani said with a smile, ‘and it’s a good thing.’
‘Come on, let’s go get your time,’ Sam said to Hayley, ‘and then I’m taking you both out for refuelling.’
Hayley was thrilled to discover she’d run the 10K in one hour, ten minutes and thirteen seconds.
‘That’s a personal best,’ Dani said, ‘and that’s a really respectable time, especially for your first official run.’
‘Seconded,’ Sam said. ‘As I said before, I’m so proud of you.’
‘It doesn’t mean I’m going to be a runner,’ Hayley warned, ‘because I’d much rather do dance aerobics. But I have to admit, I enjoyed it and I’m glad I did it.’
‘Good.’ Sam held her hand all the way into town, then found a table in one of the cafés on the high street and went to order pastries and coffees for all of them.
While he was at the counter, Dani said gently, ‘You look happier than I’ve seen you since Evan died. You’ve fallen for him, haven’t you? And Sam’s lovely. I’m really pleased for you.’
‘Yes, I’ve fallen for him,’ Hayley admitted. ‘It’s not just the physical stuff. It’s who he is and how he makes me feel.’
‘But?’ Dani asked.
Hayley bit her lip. ‘I still can’t quite get past the way he’s not bothered about putting himself in danger.’
‘Which is understandable, because of the way you lost Evan,’ Dani said. ‘But that was an accident, Haze. A horrible, tragic accident. It isn’t necessarily going to repeat itself.’
‘I know. I have to deal with the panic. I have no idea how I’m going to cope when Sam gets called out on a MERIT case—I’ll fret the whole time he’s away until I know he’s safe,’ Hayley admitted.
‘Talk to him,’ Dani advised.
‘I already have. I told him what happened to Evan and he understands how I feel.’ She grimaced. ‘But I still need time to get my head round it.’
* * *
Later in the week, Hayley and Sam had a couple of days off duty.
‘We could go to London Zoo,’ Sam said. ‘I’d love to see the lions and tigers. And I read somewhere you can walk alongside the canal from Regent’s Park to Camden Lock—it looks as i
f it’s going to be dry, so how about it?’
‘Great idea,’ Hayley said.
And she thoroughly enjoyed wandering hand in hand with him around the zoo, seeing the lions and tigers up close, along with the gorillas and the giraffes, although her favourites were the penguins.
Because it was half-term, there were plenty of children walking around with their parents, and at that moment Hayley could just imagine herself and Sam in the same position—taking a few days off together in the school holidays, and going to see the sights. The Zoo, the Aquarium, the dinosaurs at the Natural History Museum...
‘Penny for them?’ Sam asked.
She smiled. ‘Just wool-gathering.’ They were still in the relatively early stages of their relationship, and they hadn’t even had a casual discussion about how they saw their futures. She had no idea how he felt about long-term relationships or children. ‘So have you got any idea what to get for your Secret Santa present?’ she asked instead.
‘Ah, now—that’s supposed to be confidential,’ he said with a smile. ‘I might cheat and talk to my mum.’
‘So you’ve got someone older and female.’
‘Not necessarily. It might be someone younger and male.’
‘In which case you wouldn’t need to ask your mum.’
‘Enough with the detective stuff,’ he said, laughing. ‘So when does all the Christmas stuff start here?’
‘Not until the first of December,’ she said. ‘Mike’s strict about that. And obviously for health and safety reasons we can only decorate the reception area. But basically on the first of December the tree goes up and everyone takes a decoration from the box when they come on shift and puts it on a branch. That way we all kind of decorate the tree together.’
‘That’s a nice idea,’ he said. ‘I like that. And there’s the Christmas meal.’
‘Don’t forget the dancing afterwards. Mike’s dad dancing is not to be missed,’ she said with a grin. ‘I guess we’re not quite as Christmassy as some of the departments—the children’s ward always has Santa coming round and the Friends of the Hospital always buy a little present for every child who’s in, as well as something for their siblings.’
‘Whereas we’re more likely to be patching up Santa when he’s off duty and either ended up being hit in the pub when he’s trying to stop a fight, or when he’s put his back out from lifting a present that’s too heavy for him,’ he said wryly.
‘Exactly. Christmas Day can be a bit grim in the department if family tensions have gone too far,’ she agreed.
‘Well, we’ve got six weeks to prepare for it. Though I think I’m getting a bit sick of the Christmas music and Christmas goodies in the shops already.’
‘Bah, humbug,’ she said. ‘Are you telling me you don’t like Christmas?’
‘Oh, I like Christmas,’ he said. ‘I hate present-shopping, so the internet’s been brilliant for that, but I love spending time with my family and playing silly games and eating too much rich food and watching all the old classic Christmas films. My mum always cries her eyes out over It’s a Wonderful Life.’
‘So does mine. And Dani and I always watch Love Actually.’ She bit her lip. ‘Last Christmas was horrible. Dani’s marriage was just about to collapse, I had to face my first Christmas without Evan, and even though we were busy at work I just...’ She lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. ‘Well. This year will be better. I’m over that year of firsts—the hardest bit.’
‘I think this Christmas will be better for me, too,’ Sam said thoughtfully. ‘I mean, it wasn’t super-horrible, but Lynda’s family is very different from mine and we spent Christmas with them last year. They don’t like bad cracker jokes or silly games. And they wouldn’t dream of making sandwiches from the left-over turkey and going climbing on Boxing Day morning.’
‘To be fair, mine wouldn’t either,’ she said. ‘Go climbing, I mean.’
‘What about the silly games and the cracker jokes?’
‘Oh, they do all of them. Board games are the best.’ She grinned. ‘Though the rules change halfway through. And there are forfeits. And you get made to sing Christmas songs really loudly, whether you can sing or not. No singing, no supper.’
‘That,’ he said, ‘works for me.’ He paused. ‘So we might get to spend Christmas together this year?’
‘We might.’ And Hayley was shocked by how much she liked the idea. ‘I guess it depends on the duty roster,’ she said lightly.
‘We need to promise mince pies and chocolate Yule Log to the duty roster fairy,’ he said.
She laughed. ‘We can try.’
‘Ready to go and grab some lunch?’ he asked. ‘According to the website I looked up, it’s about a fifteen-minute walk from here to Camden.’
‘Sounds good,’ she said, and walked down path by the canal with him, enjoying the views.
They’d been walking for about ten minutes when they heard a scream.
‘My little boy’s fallen in! Help! I can’t swim!’
Sam ran off in the direction of the scream, with Hayley behind him.
There was a woman with a pram at the side of the canal, clearly frantic; when Hayley looked into the water, she could see a child floating face-down.
‘It’s too far to reach him from the side of the canal. Even if there was a pole nearby, it’d be useless because he’s probably unconscious and couldn’t grab it. I’m going in,’ Sam said, stripping off his coat and shoes.
Before she could say another word, he’d jumped straight into the water, without a second thought of what might be beneath the surface. Part of Hayley was horrified, but then her professional training kicked in and she grabbed her phone and called the emergency services. Although the handler answered on the second ring, it felt as if time had slowed down massively. ‘A child’s fallen into the Regent Canal.’ She gave their location. ‘Someone with me is getting him out, but when we saw him he was face-down and I think we’ll need an ambulance.’
‘We’re dispatching one now,’ the handler said. ‘Can you stay on the line and keep us informed?’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Actually, I’ll get his mum to speak to you, because she can answer any questions you have about him for the paramedics.’ She placed her hand on the woman’s arm. ‘I’ve got the emergency services on the phone. An ambulance is on its way, but they want us to keep them informed with what’s happening.’
‘My boy. Oh, my God. My boy,’ the woman said, her voice raw with anguish.
At that moment, the baby woke up and started to scream.
‘I’m a doctor—so’s my partner,’ Hayley said. She rocked the pram in a desperate attempt to calm the baby. ‘We’ll do our best for your boy, but I need you to talk to the emergency services. They need to know about your son. Can you do that for me?’
‘Oh, my God.’
She really needed the woman to get past her panic and help them. ‘I need to help Sam to get your boy out. I’m Hayley. What’s your name?’
‘Alice.’
‘And your little boy?’
‘Jack.’
‘All right, Alice. Keep rocking the baby for me.’ She handed her phone to the woman. ‘The emergency services are on the line. They’ll ask you questions about Jack, things they need to know that I wouldn’t be able to tell them but you’ll know the answers because you’re his mum. And I’ll also tell you things to say to them. Is that OK?’
‘OK.’ Alice was shaking, her face white with terror, but to Hayley’s relief she put the phone to her ear and used her other hand to rock the pram.
Hayley went to the side of the canal and knelt down. Sam had just reached the side with the little boy, and Hayley leaned over and took the child from him.
It was very clear that the child wasn’t breathing.
‘ABC and CPR,’ she said quie
tly to Sam.
He nodded, and while he was hauling himself out of the canal, she laid the child on the pavement and checked his airway. She fished water weed out of his mouth, then tilted his head back with one hand and lifted his chin with the other. She couldn’t see any signs of breathing, and when she put her ear to the little boy’s mouth and nose she couldn’t hear or feel any signs of breathing, either. And there was no pulse.
She pinched the child’s nose and put her lips over his mouth, and counted to two seconds in her head while she gave a slow full breath. She could see his chest rise and fall, and did a second breath.
‘I’ll do the compressions while you breathe,’ Sam said; he put the heel of his hand on the middle of the little boy’s breastbone and started counting as he gave the chest compressions.
She called to Alice, ‘Tell them we’ve got Jack out and we started CPR ten seconds ago.’
She gave two more rescue breaths and checked for a pulse.
‘Nothing,’ she said quietly to Sam, and he continued with the compressions.
‘Alice—do you have any clothes or spare blankets, anything dry?’ she called.
‘I’ve only got a change of clothes for the baby,’ Alice said.
Thankfully the rocking had soothed the baby enough for the screams to die down to little whimpers.
‘Is Jack breathing yet?’ Alice asked, looking frantic.
‘We’re working on it—try not to worry, because this often happens when small children fall into very cold water,’ Hayley said. Her own coat was dry; that would do to help cover Jack and keep him warm once they’d got the little boy breathing again.
Between her and Sam, they continued to do rescue breathing, checking for a pulse, and chest compressions. It felt as if they’d been working for ever, but neither of them intended to stop; given the temperature of the water and the little boy’s age, there was still a good chance that Jack could recover.
And then finally he gasped and spluttered.
Hayley called, ‘Alice, tell them Jack’s taken his first spontaneous breath now.’ She checked his pulse. ‘And tell them there’s spontaneous cardiac output now.’